Number 31 : Happy Friday

I met Debbie for a bit of a swim lastnight, where I managed to do around 60 lengths, followed by a jacuzzi and a sauna, just to relax from the troubles of the working week, and set ourselves up for a relaxing weekend. We managed to get back to our respective homes earlier than normal, arranged to go for a chinese meal with John and maybe some beverages - well it is Friday, after all.

John was having a couple of beverages with his work colleagues, so we were playing catch up, having some lovely chinese beer in the Ruby restaurant. We ended up having Peking Duck pancakes for starters which was mmm, then I ended up having a Lemon and Honey Chicken with plain rice. This is pretty good and healthy for me, as normally I have fried rice, but Debbie told me I would be all fat and spotty if I had the fried rice, I am already, dont know what difference a plate of none fried rice will do!.

I promised to take John and Debbie to Wildes, where Mayo has been recorded, but when we got there, it was full of old hags and was ram packed, so we retired to the Jug and Jester, and got a bottle of wine and a pint in. John drinking the pint was saying he was tied, so left after that, leaving myself and Debbie to talk rubbish and find lovely ladies for me to talk too and flirt with. There was this foxy student, who was wearing, well, either a very low bit of underwear, or nothing at all - my mind was made up, and grinned for about 20 mins as the image of her going commando floated threw my mind.

A bottle of wine later and debbie suggested I was going a little red, a little like last week, not through blushing, so we decided to call it a night, and walked back to our homes. On the way, waving to random women and singing Blondie's "Call Me" - well, one line anyhow. Good night, relaxing and calm - for a change. Sent lovely Jess a couple of texts to see if she was OK - appears she's back next weekend - yay!

Ten Pin Bowling & the Gutter

Rich and I have been mates for years, and we've always said, we'd go to the Bowling place in Leam for a game, so he can give me a lesson in bowling and give me a good thrashing. This never happened, well til lastnight anyhow when we went out with a couple of people from work for a couple of beers and to stare at the lovely students.

John O's missus kindly dropped us off so we could all have beverages as its been a stressful week for most, and we walked in, avoided the rest of them to get to the bar, so loaded with pint glasses, chatted, chinwagged and got setup for the bowling. Earlier that week, I'd let slip to the students that Rich was a good bowler and had his own ball (and turned out his own hand grip) - which I accidently told him his ball called Pandy ( it turns out its called the Dark/Darth Destroyer, depends on how much booze Rich has had inside of him.

I got paired off with John O, Jay, his girlfriend Gillian, Sarah and the lovely Keely, while Rich ended up with some of the sales monkey's and Blunty (who didnt turn up). The bowling kicked off, one game, and I think everyone expected Rich to destroy everyone on the lane. Needless to say, after his first frame, I believe its called, hit the gutter twice, while I scored an 8. This was the theme for most of the night, with much piss take at Rich's expense. On my last frame, I had to get a spare or a strike, then get 2 or more, to beat everyone in our lane -which I managed, and came out with 114 or something. Mean while, next door, Rich was fuming, only reaching a total of 56, blaming it on, i) bad ribs ii) the lane being too slippy iii) the ball not being the usual standard and iiii) his ball being in the back of someone elses car.

The hardcore students left at that point, at 9pm, deciding bed was a good answer, as they were off to CentreParks in the morning, and staying up til 11pm would obviously tire them out. The older group decided beer in town was the call, so ended up in the Jug and Jester (again) for beverages and natter. We ended up staying in there til closing time and got kicked out, some went to TJs for more beverage, I decided bed at that point was probably a good thing, or I would end up in a gutter somewhere.

A great night out, even better when you win!

Tomtom to tom's birthday

Abbi invited me to her's and tom's pad as part of Tom's birthday celebration - which was nice - certainly because I've never been there, nor seen their dog (which I promised not to kill?!). We arranged to meet people in the Star and Garter - one of my fav pubs in town, so I walked up in the bitter cold - joined my John, Debbie, GazB, MC and Lord Nelson PFH, then ended up supping on a nice pint of speckled hen - mmmm.

After being rushed to finish my pint, we walked the streets of Leamington only to pass another pub, and have a quick pint of bitter in there, and then finally reached Toms abode. We said hello to everyone in the kitchen, got our drinks sorted, when Debbie re-introduced myself to the lovely Sarah who was at the New Year party a couple of years ago. I'd made sure that when she was upset and drunk at the party, she was well looked after, although she appeared not to remember to much of it, so reminded her of the fact - so we got chatting etc etc. At one point, invited me to move into her new flat in coventry as she cant cook, or anything really - I declinded, stating it was to early in our relationship, and maybe a drink first would be better.

Half of the group played computer games, the hardcore group such as myself, continued drinking, where I chatted to Debbie and Sarah a little more, even braved the cold outside to ensure she had company while she had a smoke. She was at the Colchester v Leam game back last year, so asked if she would be interested in coming up with us lot for the next home game.

Sarah left, and I ended up chin wagging with some of the locals, taking control of John's game when he went for a piss/grab a drink, mopping up spillage from the floor and having a laugh. Debbie was then found on the front door step, looking a lovely shade of eggshell white, so while John called for taxi, I kept her company and tried to make her smile, only to find out that she was sick. When I suggested that she should steal some breezeblocks in her handbag, she lifted her head and looked like something out of Kiss, the metal band, which both made us laugh.

Fair play to John's taxi call - 10 mins after the call, we got picked up and dropped off quick smart. Sleep was needed so I entered my normal coma.

Bad Head, Bad Loss

Two mornings in a row, two massive hangovers - that'll teach me to drink like the youth of today - oh well, at least I didnt have a 80 mile car trip to Hereford to watch the Brakes play Westfields, oh bugger I did. Its a known fact that I dont travel very well, so if I do go far, I tend to either drive or sit in the front. One eye on the tomtom, one eye on the front windscreen we gradually got hearer to Westfields, about 5 mile out, I broke the silence and asked to borrow Debbie's water bottle to rehydrate a little. I reckon another couple of miles and I would have barfed all over the place - very very close.

Skipping breakfast was probably a bad idea, but I was feeling so blah, so as soon as we turned up at the ground, paid our way in, I got myself a plate of chips, and sausage sandwich, god, it was bliss, but I was nearly ill then and there because I was so hungry. The game kicked off and you know its one of them days when the lino was calling offsides when he was 5 metres behind the line of play. The silence from the previous night broke and felt myself getting frustrated at the state of the officials, who at the time were being biased towards the home team, so much so, two identical tackles, one from each side, one team got a yellow card (us) and the other went away unpunished. We went in 2-0 up at half time after what I thought was a well ran performance, then after the restart (and a phone call from my mum), we just appeared not to give a damn.

A penalty later, a red card and 3 goals against us and the Men in Black sufficiantly pissing off the fans who drove 80 odd miles, we decided to head back home, not before telling the Ref exactly how it was - I'm not proud of the abuse, but proud to be following the Brakes, and annoyed that a man can just not bother at all - maybe too much guiness the night before. Final score - 3-2, to 2nd bottom of the league - thats football - expect upsets.

Lucky Charms!

After feeling like death all day from lastnight, whats the answer to everything ? Yes, St Patrick's day and more beverage. I nearly died about 3 times during the day thanks to the hangover from hell, I have to remember I'm getting old and cant do this anymore. I managed to crawl to the local shop to grab bread, baked beans and bacon, and cook up a fried breakfast - and suddenly my bodily functions kicked in again.

The plan for the night was, curry, guiness, guiness, slurred words, then coma, and thats roughly what happened, if you insert captain PFH, ensuring that we're marched from pub to pub on time, or DO 100 SITS UP SOILDER!! Myself, John, Debbie and GazB ended up in a posh curry house at the bottom of town, and it was very nice, apart from they dont serve alchohol, so Mr John had to grab some beers from costcutters.

PFH turned up just as we finished and marched us to the Pig, where it was rammed full of nutters, and that was just the barstaff. I sent a text to Rich saying we were in the Pig and if he wanted to pop along, he was welcome. Just as he turned up, we were informed that we were on the move, I stayed with Rich for a quick drink, as he'd walked all that way. We managed to scam some SPD hats from behind the bar, even tho we drank bud and vodka and coke. We caught up with the rest of them in Bowling Green, where that was full of crazies, although, the other side was full of fit birds. We moved onto the Townie House and had a quick beverage, on the way, Rich bid us good day.

We retired, as we usually do on a Friday, to the Jug and Jester, where we drank more Guiness - mmm - we managed to grab a nice located table where we watched the world go by and we had a laugh. Before going out, I bought some Lynx, just to see if the Lynx effect actually worked, and on the way back from the toilets, the foxy fiesty barmaid asked if she could have my hat, being a little drunk I could only say yes, so in return, I got a kiss. I was gobsmacked litterally, and couldnt talk, but just give sign language, steve style, to Debbie, who managed to pick up straight away what I was talking about.

A good night had by all, esp the streetwars that was kicking off just behind us as we walked home - with a clash of 2 groups, consisting of 4 per group. Nothing like SPD when you can hear knuckle or skull noises. Coma I think!

Rich's Big Night Out

Rich returned from Poland the other day, somehow managing to avoid being in the UK for his 30th birthday incase of some big scale stitch up. I did promise him that there would be no stitch up, no wind up, nothing, just a couple of gentle beers to celebrate his 30th - this still didnt work - even tho I am a man of my word.

Anyhow, after 2 days of suggesting it would be a good thing, it was too late to invite the usual suspects, ie, he decided at 4pm on the Thursday. Myself and Rich ended up in TJs for a couple of pints and took it easy, while along the street at the Jug and Jester, there was a leaving do for one of the techies from work - which we intended on meeting up later on. Nomes and Andy were supposed to meet us in TJs for a couple of swift ones, however, never appeared, so myself and Rich had a couple swift ones each, well, taking 90 mins. Well, we are getting told, you know!

After them two, we ended up in the Jug, surrounded by old familiar faces including Tom etc, so we got some more booze in, and chinwagged. I ended up talking to a different number of people, at one point someone blatently standing in front of us when we're chatting.

Nomes went paler than I am on a good day, so Andy took her home incase anything happened, we drank up and ended back in TJs for a quick beverage before rolling home to a alcohol based coma - not a very heavy night, you have to admit, maybe 5 pints and a bottle of alco-pops.

Deepheat : Urban myth or actually works ?

After my knackered ankle becoming more painful, I managed to pick up a can of deepheat in town at lunch time. I've seen it used on sports people, but you dont know if it just a psychological attempt to get people over it. However, I thouhgt I'd give it a whizz and sprayed it on my ankle. About 10 minutes later I noticed two things;

• My ankle was free to move around, and
• My kitchen stank

It appears to be working and I can bend it around, so apart from stinking (Hint: Dont spray it before you go out on the pull, its not Lynx deoderant), concrete proof it actually works.

Mayo, anyone ?

Lastnight, I watched the first episode of the first series of Mayo - a detective drama which stars Alistair McGowan - based in and around Leamington Spa. I was pretty excited, mainly because when it was being filmed, they were based in one of my locals for 3 days - and thought it would be pretty funny seeing it on the big screen.

The storyline was a little slow to kick off, but guess its always the same when you have a new series, but jumped around, and although not complex, lost the plot a little. The story was based around a "Therapy clinic" which in real life is the Botanical Gardens, where we had our Xmas meal/disco. Other places of interest, personal to myself, included Wildes, the funky wine bar at the time of town, but as yet, no Robbins Well.

Its on BBC1, Sundays, 8pm, if you fancy watching the next episode.

Happy 30th Birthday

Happy birthday to Mr Rich who is 30 today. So far, managed to have beer at 10:37 (UK time) and had breakfast in bed, waiter style. Spawny sod! Should see what sham I've got to deal with at work! Wait til you see your presents, that'll wipe the smile of your face. Have a good one tho!

Damn my Stom-luck

I was looking really forward to tonight, I had a text message from nice jess on friday afternoon saying she was back in town for the weekend. I sent a reply asking if she wanted more of the same like last time, maybe some wine, maybe some natter, maybe upgrading on the Steve Service to some food. She had a few plans, as did I, including football away, which then got called of due to a waterlogged pitch, but hey, what can you do about it.

I promised Rich I would keep an eye out for the chesterfield scores for him whie he was away in Poland, so sat about watching sky sports news, playing a bit of Lemmings and when I went to make some food, my stomach just knacked up (its a geordie phrase, dont worry) and couldnt do anything. Bloody typical, the one night I want to go out and meet up with someone, I bloody cant, so ended up getting a bath, curling up on the sofa and cursed my luck.

I send/received text messages to/from Jess, saying that she would be in town til Monday, so maybe we could catch up on Sunday at some point for a chinwag and drink. Somehow that made things a little better that I hadnt let her down, strange tho it sounds.

I watched Match of the Day, well, technically 5 minutes of it, got bored and ended up in bed around 11pm - how bad is that, I really am getting old!

Damn Lemmings!

I woke up feeling a bit rough today, it had nothing to do with the alcohol from lastnight, I just put it down to one of them days. I was up pretty early, around 10am, which is good for me at the weekend, so ended up surfing the web, catching up with news and chinwagging with Captain Rich out in Poland via MSN. I popped into town, took my fisheye camera and took a few random shots on the way up, and reached town - I pondered around and managed to get a glimpse of a game I've been after for a while for my PSP. Rich commented a while back saying that most PSP games are driving games or sports related, so it was nice to see that Sony had brought out the Legend that IS, Lemmings. Its a "game you can play for 5 minutes, or an hour". Yeah right, more like 4 hours while Sky Sports News was on.

Entertaining game, and yet, basic, its a little harder than the PC version, as you obviously dont have a mouse and the little wiggley joy stick doesnt actually move the cursor, it moves the screen from left to right, a mistake in my eyes. Still entertaining and gets the brain working, which in all honesty, was one of the reasons why I got it - and to hear the little fella's say "Yay", "Wahoo" and "Thank you" in their squeeky little voices.

Twisted

I suffered a twisted ankle a couple of weeks ago, and thought it had repaired itself, sadly this was not to be the case. Wednesday night football I took a swing at the ball, forgetting to move my standing leg a little and twisted it on the spot. Unfortunately, this was 10 minutes into a 60 minute game, and it began to hurt, quite alot, infact so much so, I tried to run to get the pain out and it was becoming worse, funnily enough. I swapped the teams around so that my team were not at a disadvantage with me being broken, sadly this wasnt enough.

At this point, everyone becomes an arm chair doctor, saying random things like "you want to but ice on that", "you want to strap that up tightly", "oh, you wont play for a couple of weeks with that now" etc etc.

I decided to take some of the advice of "Doctor sofa", unfortunately, the only items I had that were frozen included 4 x Quarter Pounders, and a bag of Frozen French Fries. So 2 hours later, smelling like I work for Burger King I was still in massive pain and decided a glass of wine and an early night was the plan.

Woke up this next morning, unable to move my foot around, luckily the Thursday lunch time game had been called off.

Tea for 4?!

I ended up at the doctors this morning for one thing and another. Picked up a leaflet about tea, saying having 4 cups of tea is healthy, stating it has all kinds of goodness as well as providing you with the bulk of the liquid you need on a daily basis to allow your body to work correctly. It also mentioned that depending on how much milk you have in it, it can provide up to 16% of the calcium needed to help your bones.

MMMedicine Tea!

Locked Stocked and Barrelled

Typical isnt it, I had a bit of a sleep in, first time for a while, and then decided to catch up with some shopping in town, including food shopping. I didnt have much food left in the cupboards, so decided I needed some, and with the weather like it is, and maybe the onslaught of bird flu, best stock up. I managed to get myself dressed around 2pm and got my arse into gear, and ponderd out towards the canal, it looked cold, looked like it was going to snow, so got a bit of pace on.

I got to the front door and twisted the handle to let myself out - nothing - wouldnt move - nightmare. I took some WD40 to it, seeing if I could loosen it up a little, still nothing - and I can only assume that the weather had effected the lock and frozen it up. Using my locksmith knowledge, I decided to take a hammer to the whole thing, and somehow, and I dont know why, broke the lock all together.

I had to call a locksmith, first time that I've had to do this, and the first people Dynolocks were not very helpful, promising "7 days a week, 24 hours a day service - with no call out charge". Sadly the bloke called me back saying he was "a little too busy and had enough on". I decided, bugger the corporations (esp when he tried to charge me 100 quid an hour, excluding lock replacement) - so called a local company.

Within an hour, he was there, trying all kind of things, then, took a drill to the lock as it was completely shafted. I made the fella a cup of coffee while he drilled and made his way into my ally way, replaced the lock and charged me something like £95 for a job well done. Was tempted to charge him 20 quid for a cup of coffee, but thats not the geordie way. By this time it was too late and the shops had closed, John and Debbie returned from their canal'ing "holiday" and popped around to see the new lock in working order. The nice man even tightened up the hinges on the door and offered me free security advice - nice chap.

Saturday Stratford Show

The local "derby" of stratford town and leam was on today, and I was quite eager to see the game. John and Debbie disappeared on their holiday with the rest of the GSX gang and chums the night before, however Debbie was interested in turning up for the game, and I said I would pick her up from the towpath somewhere in Warwickshire.

Around 2.25pm, I received a text from Debbie saying they were about 3 miles from Leam and would I go pick her up, so after watching PFH doing a 5 point turn in the canal and then allowing debbie to jump off, we raced up to NWG to take our places. The game was chocker, with us having to park on the farmers lane about 5 minute walk from the ground. We got there 4 mins into the game and it was a little poor, but we picked up in the 2nd half, with Leam's Leon Morgan scoring with 6 minutes left to go.

I dropped Debbie off in Warwick and coasted back to leam on no fuel, then arranged to meet up with Rich in the boozer somewhere after I got warmed up and changed. It was a nice social affair, chatting, chinwagging and laughing at the local chavs. We ended up having 4 pints, I had an empty stomach so had the munchies, and with no food in, scrambled together chicken nuggets, potatoe wedges and baked beans. I also manged to get the hicups twice in a day - for the first time since about 1982 - annoying Rich mainly - which is half the laugh.

Eye Eye!

I woke up this morning, with tired heavy eyes. This happens to everyone, once in a while, however for some reason I was a little concerned, mainly because I had such a long sleep - maybe thats the reason. Rather than doing what Doc Warburton does, ie, sitting on my fat arse doing bugger all about it, I decided to call the Boots Opticians and make an appointment - luckily they had a free slot at 3.20pm and booked myself in.

I havent had my eyes tested for a while, well, 10 years at least, so it was refreshing to rediscover the attractiveness of the optician ladies - purr! My initial test consisted of 3 tests;

• Blowing cold air into my eyes
• Looking down a road with a hot air balloon at the end of a screen.
• Counting the number of dots on a screen

I did have to laugh a bit, with science advancing so quickly - they still checked my eyes with air, on/off dots on a screen.

I then had to see someone else, who done more tests - this time the stereotypical ones of letters, numbers, dots, colours etc. I like to know whats going on, so shielding the paper and writing while looking at me - doesnt help my confidence! After putting some "glasses" on me, then shining the brightest light down my eyes, writing a little more, and placing the heaviest full stop on the paper, she sighed. Glasses, I was actually getting used to the fact that I would have to wear them, esp after being told twice to go look at them while I was waiting to be seen. However, sadly, I have good eyesight and done need them, so no need for frames around my head or "looking like Professor Yaffle" as Rich suggested - cheers mate!

Perfect Saturdays

As saturdays go in the world of the steve, today has been near on perfect as you can get. Last night was great, and after leaving the group in the jug due to feeling a bit blah, I managed to get a decent night sleep and wake up at a good time (10am). I had a text from a friend saying they were back in town, and would I like to meet up for a drink, chat and catch up - of course, I didnt think for less than a heartbeat to say yes.

Due to Newcastle playing at home against everton and kicking off at 17:15, I decided to skip the Brakes away game to Oadby Town. I lent my tomtom to John and Debbie, just to make sure they got there safely and also in time, and in return, had the promise of the goals/full time text messages from one of them. NUFC v Everton wasnt the only reason, one of which was the fact a friend was back in town, and also my sisters (and Emily's) birthday was fast approaching, and had to sort a few things out.

Brakes managed to win 3-0 (my prediction was 2-0) and apparently a couple of the regulars were asking after me - which is nice. It's not an ego thing, but its nice to be asked about when you dont really know many people at a club that is pretty small. Anyhoo, after trying to rig up my PC so it could fetch enough bandwidth of ChineseTV via internet, and failing, I had to use the backup of text message and radio (DAMN BROADBAND ROUTER!!!) Anyhow, Newcastle won 2-0 and I had to get ready for meeting of "the" friend.

This is gonna stay cryptic, but I really do have so much time for this person, not on an attraction level, but also on a personal level. They have the power to make me smile, just because they are in the same room - and I just dont know how that works - and some times it scares me - like a small child trapped in a tight jumper. Anyhoow, I go on a tangent that my blog/mind has often had the piss taken out of. We met up after her brother dropped her off, had a quick pint and chatted, and ended up in the lounge, had a cocktail, chatted, I smiled, and bumped into Geordie Mike.

We ended up in Wildes, an old haunt of mine from days gone ex, and we got wine in and chatted. I have to admit, over the years, its been me asking & leading questions, finding out, and to my suprise, I felt it was a two way thing and I really enjoyed it. As mentioned, its just not an attraction thing, its more than that, I dont know what it is, however they made it perfectly clear that they were seeing someone, and at that point, its the first time I've ever felt the "wonder years" situation. You know, small child speaking for you without you using your lips - scary, never happened to me before. Yes, I talk to myself, more often than speaking outloud to be brutely honest, but never feeling my mind taking the conversation away from me. Anyhow, my "wonder years" voice told me at that point, it was pure friendship, nothing more, and it was a different kind of caring, one like caring for a sister - if that makes sense.

She seemed very happy, the happiest I've ever seen her for a long while, so who am I to take that away from her. Dont get me wrong, not for one second did I think anything would and could have happened that saturday night - which is a bit of a shame - but reality.

After a bottle of wine and chinwagging, we walked to the top of town, where her mum was waiting, I got introduced, I waved and blushed abit. This is mainly due to the fact that her mum saw me on the webcam and said nice things about me - and my friend was worried that her mother was developing somekind of crush. I left them too it, wandered all the way back home, avoiding the drunk people talking to the shop window dummies in House of Frasier, avoiding the people who were just out for a fight. I've sat down, with a short, typed this as it really has been a fantastic night, and I'll save this as a draft and check it in the morning.

magical world of McVities

I ran out of milk this morning - always the way on a friday morning after a couple of glasses of water. After popping out in the freezing cold, with enough change to purchase a 2 pint bottle of milk, and a 20 quid note in my pocket, I stumbled across a promotion stand for Jaffa Cakes.

They had the traditional jaffa cakes, and a sign saying buy 2 for 99p - "mmm", I thought, then noticed different colour boxes - a purple colour, and then a greeny yellow colour. Turns out they've brought out two new ranges, blackcurrent (half way through a box of 12 now) and Zingy Lemon and Lime flavour!.

An information box also says, "Each McVitie's Jaffa Cake contains lots of energy, and only 1.0g of far per cake. That is why they are recommended by sports nutristionists." Bonus - you eat jaffa cakes and get fit!.

Update :- all gone!

in the land of make believe

Its strange, and I dont know how to control it - I like being in control of situations. For the last couple of months, I've been having nightly dreams about one person - really just cant get her out of my head. Its not like we have daily interaction, infact, I think the last time I actually saw her was before Xmas when we went for a coffee on a sunday in town. So, why the dreams ? You dont interact with someone, you dont have phone calls with them, you get the odd work-instant message from her - so how come she's constantly in my mind ??

Nevermind about the dreams, what do you do about it, is she interested at all ? I take it by the text messages I've sent and that she hasnt replied too, thats probably a negative, but under the circumstances, I understand, and know she's got a shed load on in life at the moment.

I went into the office yesterday, hoping to "bump" into her, and I've been feeling a little run down, mainly on the exuberance of american style fast food and outcome of it brining me out in rather nasty looking spots. I've spent the full week running up to Thursday's office trip, by trying to make me look as human as possible, and also attractive enough for her to, and this is where it sounds strange, like me again.

Stefan, a pro, for a change!

OK, I admit it, I've been putting it off for months, but I've eventually gone with the flickr pro account. The normal account was fine, but it meant that I had to time when I wanted to upload files online, sometimes, leaving no room at the end of the month (monthly upload of 20Mb) if I wanted to share some newer files. The pro account gives you something like 2Gb upload a month, and also allows you to create more than 3 "sets". It works out to be something poor like $2 a month to keep photos online, which personally, its the first time I've paid for an online service (no jokes please!!) and more than happy.

Anyhooo, my flickr account is : http://www.flickr.com/photos/docwharton/

ooh nice daffs sir!

Last week I blogged a photo of the first flower in my patio, however, always had a soft spot for Dafs. This is the first one to sprout up, out of about 40 of them that myself and Pippa planted when she came to stay last year.

A flower, today

Bring on the ducklings, moorhenlings and swanlings ;o)

Hrm - Mondays!!

I woke up at 7am, to my phone giving me an alert to Emily's birthday. I dont know if its supposed to alert a week before, or if I was just dumb enough to get the wrong week - anyhow, needless to say, I was a bit miffed that I was up early and sent a text to Emily saying Happy Birthday when it wasnt.

I managed to roll over and get another 60 mins worth of sleep, when the people up stairs with clogs decided to jump down each stair at a time - dont know why they do it, however, I've come to the conclusion, my cursing doesnt effect them. After getting up and showered (before 10am is good for me) I made myself a cup of tea, only to work out that the milk was 2 days out of date - and I made three massive starbuck size mugs of tea. This of course made my stomach churn a tad, but, I needed tea, so ended up popping to the corner shop getting milk, and somehow, £19 worth of other things - how, I dont know.

The day so far, as been, interesting, but quiet in terms of nutcases trying to such my brains dry - maybe its half term and most of the workshy crazies are on holiday. Logging in was amusing, finding a block of 4 emails together, asking people to "see pavaroti", "join yoga" and "would you like to see the doll show at the NEC" - and people wonder why we have problems. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure if I enjoyed looking and smiling at dolls, stretching my legs around my head, or listening to a fat man sing in a language I cant understand - I reckon I would be interested. Just not when I'm working!

Newcastle have just drawn Chelsea away in the FA cup - looks like thats our exit, however it SO could have been Leamington v Newcastle. Well, only if we'd scored 9 more goals against Colchester, got through the next round and then beaten Chelsea. I'm hoping by that time, we (newcastle this time) would have Owen back and maybe a couple of other members of the squad back. Tempted to take a wander down to London village for this - depending on the price of the tickets - and the fact its a weeknight kick off - slightly putting me off. lets face it, the state of the chelsea pitch, it would be like a weekend at the coast, with the amount of sand on it - surely there has to be a rule against it.

Sunday Lunch

My foot and ankle has been a little sore recently. I think I twisted it a couple of weeks ago when playing football and damaged a muscle and it just hasnt heeled up. I popped into town to get a support bandage to see if I could the damn thing heel up before Wednesday night (and Thursday). I've been after a number of things on my shopping list recently, but been a little lazy and not bothered, but strangely enough, seem to have a new found boost of energy, with getting up "early" both Saturday and Sunday.

I feel that I've always had a mathematical and science brain, but let down the other parts of my brain, so decided to do something about it for a change. I'm keeping it quiet for the time being, but I have given myself a number of challenges to complete that are none technical - just to see if I can get my brain active again. Guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm sick of drifting around. I dont wish to mention what it is at the moment, because if I dont do anything, or fail, I dont want people pointing the finger and laughing, or taking the piss.

Anyhooo, after picking up some Clinique Happy aftershave (as the american's dont appear to stock it - damn them!) I sent a text to John and Debbie asking if they fancied some lunch in town, to which they were on their way anyhow, so we met up. I had roast beef etc, Debbie copied (tut) and John had a very nice looking sandwich.

After lunch, we went our different directions, I went and bought healthy food from M&S as I'm trying to loose some weight and get fitter over the next couple of days. I managed to get home just as it started getting a bit nippy, then tucked myself up and played Sims2 on my PSP, made a cup of tea and finally watched the most boring Televised FA Cup game in the world.

Anyhow, ended up having a decent early night, feel this week is going to be a good one! yay!

Return of the troubled twosome

John and Debbie returned from NY today! I've been looking after their gaff for the week - you know, usual stuff, bringing the post in, and thought, wouldnt it be nice to get them some milk and bread to ensure they can just sit down when they get back. I've always thought that this is the best way to chill after a holiday - cup of tea, sandwich, shower, relax.

I had a text from Debbie saying they were on their way back - assuming they'd just got back via passport control and would be about 2 more hours - Debbie asked, if I wanted some food, assuming nothing to do with america - but no, if I wanted MacDonalds. So, who am I to say no - and 10 mins later had a text saying come next door to collect the food. Stunned, shocked and nearly wasting away, I had delivered a burger, fries and strawberry milkshake. For all I know - they could have brought it back from America.

Leaving them to unpack and shower ( I had a terrible story about John not showering for for about 48 hours or some sort) and catch up on gossip. A little later, John popped around with some supplies I'd asked to have picked up - including a new 2Gb PSP memory card & Clinique products.

We arranged to pop down for a curry, and have some beverages - hoping to keep them awake as long as possible to readjust into UK time and not get jetlag - after King Babba's we ended up in the jug for what I assumed would be 3 pints and them on the floor. Sadly, it had the reverse effect and after 4 pints I was close to sleeping right then and there - only for John and Debbie insisting that we have 2 more rounds. Just before midnight we ended up leaving, and heading home - me enterting a coma based on mainly Fosters and waking up at 9.30am

Back to the footballing ways

Wednesday saw the return of something very rare in my life - scoring on Wednesday football night. Its a little harder to get a goal these days, mainly because of the standard that actually plays - and also down to the fact that there are alot of showboaters - who'd rather beat 5 players, and take a shot on target. I'd like to think my skills have been improving a little over the last couple of months - and rather than shooting or one touching, I'm running and taking on players.

Of course, I phoned my mother up to say hi etc, and tried to explain this feeling of being about to run, pass and shoot - basically every 11 year old child can do. Although it came out the wrong way, I tried to reexplain the situation, however, just made it sound even more "gayer" than the first time - and eventually give up just to save blushes.

Sadly Thursday football was cancelled, so not getting into the swing of things - all seems stop and start! Boo!

Spring is here ?

DSC01100
Originally uploaded by docwharton.

While on a conf call this morning, I poked my head out the front door to get some fresh air. I found that some flowers are started to, well flower, sadly, none of the daffs have yet tho - but they are looking strong.

Wot no Blog?!

Whoops, kinda got carried away with this none blogging action. Well in a nutshell, what have I been up too ? mostly watching Leam FC play football, laughing at comical own goals at Causeway Town, drinking for birthday, and also a near week of giving up too.

The day after my birthday (2nd) I ended up playing football, without guiness on my stomach, and feeling a little bit more fitter than I did on the 1st. I managed to score three goals in the game, which kinda lifted my feelings up. Thursday just gone, managed to have a stonking game, where for the first time, I was running and controlling the ball, rather than 2 or 3 touch passing. Felt good, and when I explained it to my mother, made me sound like a little kid, but tried to explain that I never really used to play at school, so infact I'm playing catch up with the big kids now. It feels good tho, being able to take giant strides, running, being able to beat people and take on the keeper.

On a brighter note, NUFC decided to get rid of Agent Souness who was taking us down to the Coca Cola Championship. This was a perfect birthday present, the Wednesday night we got tonked 3-0 by Man City - so finding out lunch time the next day that he's been sacked, brought a smile to my face - only annoying thing is he got away with 2million quid - for being shit! Wish work would give me 2 million to walk away for doing a shit job. Next Stop - Football Management!!

In the same week, Sir Shearer (to you and I) managed to get his 201st club goal for Newcastle United - excitement and hair on the back of the neck, and for a change, the club going in the right direction, with back to back wins against Pompey (2-0) and Villa (2-1) - steering, hopefully, away from the relegation zone. Unfortunately, this makes Rich's bet, null and void, although I reckon he could have done with 1200 quid this year.

After a couple of beverages over birthday period, I decided to give up for a week, which lasted 6 days - which is pretty good going, but it was to celebrate the news of my mother selling her house finally, and the fact she was sending me some cash - which isnt too shabby at all. There are supposed to be some photos that Debbie/John and I took for my birthday - however, they are on Debbie's Camera, and we'll have to wait til they get back from US of A.

John and Debbie are away in NY, so I'm keeping an eye on their place, and thankfully, nothing has happened. I always get a little worried when people leave me in charge of their place while on vacation or business, incase something happens - like floods, fires, gas leak - now crap, did I switch that tap off?!?

That concludes the news in brief - I'll have to remember to update more often, I think.

Things not to do #1

Drink Guiness at Lunch time - then play football at 6pm and expect to be fast! Funnily enough, it has the reverse effect and slows you right down.

31 - not so bad ... is it ?

I was told by a friend last year, that turning 30 isnt the problem, its 31 - because you're beyond the age of 30 and at that point, life is down hill - oh how I laughed, but at the back of my mind, thought it might come back to haunt me. Yes, I'm 31, but, as far as I'm aware, I'll full of decent health, have good friends that I trust and have a good social life - and, well a decent well paid job.

When I woke up this morning, I had one eye on reality, and one eye trying to work out why drinking a full bottle of white wine on my own, followed by southern comfort, was making my head bang. I havent taken any time off this year, as, its just another day really now - but made every effort to be "busy" and not get stressed. After picking up the cards my family sent down, I went out to pick the mystery present John and Debbie had promised me, after they said they would drop it off in the early hours (they have keys to my front door). I have never laughed so much, so early in the morning when I found this in my alleyway.

Anyhow, after sorting my mail out and doing "work", Rich kindly phoned up to wish me a happy birthday and invite me down TJs for a swift one *. To which I had a bit of Veggie allday breakfast, couple of soft drinks and a natter with Rich and the lovely bar lady, and even invited her on Holiday after her "I do football, drinking and look very sexy" view on life. After two rounds of softdrinks, I couldnt take anymore, so indulged in some guiness, knowing this would impact my footballing abilities later on. Typical to the "women front" of late, sexy barmaid is seeing a "pecker" as Rich suggested, and he was right.

Plans for this afternoon, play football, then sup slowly down the Well, watching football with some drinking mates, trying to forget how old I am.

All in all, 31 - not a bad way to start a new age, and yes, made a couple of wishes and birthday resolutions.

* Warning - might be two hours

Lads Night Out

Myself and John popped up to the New Windmill Ground to watch Leam play Tipton, which was supposed to be one of the hardest games of the season, even at home, and loads of prematch banter between the two sets of supports on the message boards - including YAMYAMs. John said he would drive up - due to the fact my car still hasnt been fixed, nor have the garage even called me to discuss when they can do it. Anyhooo, we got up there with enough time to grab a cuppa, a pie (or burger) and find our usual place. I'll not bore you too much with the details, however, Leam won 3-0, with the 2nd looking a bit dubious for offsite - but you have to take your changes when you can.

John mentioned that with Debbie being away, and Tom H having a night pass, they were thinking of a lads night out - and at the time I wasnt sure if I should sleep, or go out and have a laugh - as its a while since we towned it around Leam. After takeaway pizza to fill me up and place a layer on my stomach, myself and John (I was 10 mins late) ventured up town to, grabbing some cash and ended up meeting Tom and his mate "Nige" in the Willoughby, where double JD and coke / Southern Comfort and coke was on the menu. It was discussed that we would embark on a Goonies style trip around Leam - and for one night, become Townies. We ended up in Satchwells next, where again, doubles on the menu, taking in the sights and sounds of the "legal" drinkers and so so short skirts. On our wander up the Parade, we managed to get flyers to CodeRed - which said "next door to the White Horse" - to which we laughed. It appears that they've split the White Horse into two, the old side being the White Horse, and those just about old enough to drink go to R&B friendly CodeRed, where the girls were wearing even less.

We ended up in Moo next, where we managed to chinwag, say hi to a couple of people I knew, and look at the lovely ladies with the a) trendies b) chav c) just so wrong boyfriends. We had a couple of drinks in there - and spent most of the night drawing things on the windows covered in condensation - Tom managed to pour a glass of spirits all over his trousers, making it look like he's pissed his pants. One round in Moo - £21.60 for 4 drinks - cheap then! From here it went a little hazy, but it goes long the lines of we end up in Rios - Tom paying for us, and then us paying Tom back, then more booze and a bit of dance. It also introduced the new game of "Which one of you lovely ladies is single, Steve's single and looking?"

After more dancing, and loosing John, Tom and Nige, I bumped into a couple of people that work at the Robbins Well, so "hung out" with them - including a foxy minx who i've seen around, yet, never spoken too. We got dancing, at one point some random crazy dancing behind me grabbing my arse - turning around and grinning, thankfully the Minx grinned and saved me. There was this bloke there, who is about as camp as a field full of treehugging hippies - at a camp-expo, and gay, apparently. So, finding little miss minx snogging Mr Gay, my humour started to go dramatically south, and after chasing someone away to China, I now have some how managed to convince a girl that snogging a Gay bloke, is a much better option. Time to give up I reckon!!

Anyhoo, I managed to get back and into bed around 3.30 and find blood all over my shirt, although I wasnt bleeding - nice. I woke up with the nice sound of "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in my ears - and ventured into town, trying to clear my head. I managed to catch up with Nomes and Andy, and had lunch in the Lounge - and very nice too it was. After food shopping and buying a tshirt, I returned home, to tidy and chill - need sleep - badly.

Alwight?!?

Myself, John and Debbie had a quick curry (which extend to about 90 mins) in town, then due to Debbie having to travel to London, and Celeb Big Brother concluding - we ended up back at theirs. Thanks to Mr Tivo, we were able to track back and it appeared that Chantelle, Barrymore, "Maggott" and Preston (not north end) were left as the final big 4. Brilliant you may think - and to be honest, Mr Barrymore's first week's antics, I thought the public would have taken a disliken to him. Fair play to him and fair play to the public for backing someone who was pulled apart by the UK press. I personally have nothing against him, nor his shows in the past, and I certainly wouldnt have an issue with him coming back to the UK screen - although you have to worry if he gets knocked back down a peg for whatever reason. Personally - I think he is the only celeb to use big brother as a medium and use it successfully - and to that, I take my hat off to him (if I was wearing one) and say congrats.

The Chantelle situation, you have to worry, that if (as believed by the media) she was led astray by miss marsh - what happens now she's "famous". Good luck to her tho, its everyones dream to come from "nothing" to being a real "celeb" overnight - lets hope she does it with style - and if she's looking for someone ;o)

Where is your Family?

After a bit of abuse, banter and chinwag with Mr Bluntarian, he passed on the following link that shows the approx area of people with a certain surname at different times in history (1881 and 1998). The root link is :- http://www.spatial-literacy.org/UCLnames/Surnames.aspx

For close friends, I've linked a couple of examples;

Me (under Wharton - dont ask) - 1881 1998

Headworth - 1881 1998

Hartnup - 1881 1998

Pickford - 1881 1998

Dee - 1881 1998

Wildsmith - 1881 1998

And you thought this blog was based on chaos, shambles and drunken jibberish and not science and fact - shame on you!!

Oh You ChittyChittyBANGBANG

I was on the way to wednesday night 5aside football, driving up towards the roundabout where the Ford Factory and Blockbusters are located - doing as I do most Wednesdays night. Nothing wrong with the night - completely clear, traffic was average, and I had to give way to some traffic around the roundabout. Once it was clear, I started to accelerate (5/10 mph) over the roundabout - then - BANG!!! - next thing I know, this 206 is swirving all over the road heading towards MacDonalds. My first reaction was, "oh, hello" then, "hang on a tick, thats not supposed to happen" then "best find out who hit me then I suppose" - strangely enough - all very calmly.

I managed to get his details - and it appears he was in the right lane coming from behind me, trying to left! Reminding myself of basic physics, no, not the law about touching light bulbs, mains sockets when the electricity is switched on, but cars are not gaseous bodies and infact, if you hit one into another - it makes a big bang and a bit of mess. Trying to get this message across to the "3rd party", as my insurance company now call him, was a little more difficult so reduced to the basics. If you want to go left, you stay in the left lane, if you're in the right lane, you turn right, or merge in the ahead lane - once again, I think this failed, only to get a comment of "Well your car doesnt appear to be damaged". Well Mister, trust me - 5 minutes before you smashed into my car - it was even less damaged.

Anyhow, the car appeared to be driveable - so headed over to the football area - had a semi decent game - missing about 5 changes, hitting the post once - but starting to get the feel for right midfield as well as up front. I'm getting the hang of protecting the ball using my body and being able to turn pretty quickly - and at this rate, when I'm 40, I could join an U15 team with my newly developed skills.

One of the lads followed me home - just incase the whole steering column knackered up and left me stranded in the middle of Warwick - luckily its fine. Just got a small problem of forking out 200 quid for excess while the insurance company investigate my demolition derby friend "Mr 3rd party". I phoned my sister who was in the police, trying to work out if I had to get them involved - as its one of lifes funny situations, where there isnt a documented procedure as to what to do.

Cold Weather, Arctic Monkeys!

I've been keeping tabs on the Arctic Monkeys for a couple of months, managing to get ahem-hold of some of their tracks, and on Monday, their new Album has just been released called "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not".

I bought it from iTunes as I couldnt get into town and only just been able to sit down and listen to it properly - all I can say is buy it - its different, but refreshing.

Cold Cold Football

Tuesday night football was back on the menu tonight, with the brakes playing at home against Romulus. With Debbie at work, I tend to take John up as he's without the car, so was over the moon when we get outside, to find that the windscreen was iced over and had to clear it. The in-car/bus thermometer was reading -1 at that point - but, wearing thermals, I knew I'd have the last laugh (ah ah hahahahahaha - thats my evil laugh, if i could develop one). We managed to get up there a couple of minutes before kick off, mooched around and I handed over the prog and fanzine that I bought for John at the weekend.

We decided to get a cuppa on the way to the other side of the ground, just as we kicked off - while we were stuck in the 2 people long queue, we managed to give away a pen, and the opposition score from it - all after a cup of tea and our backs turned. Debbie then turned up after getting rid of kiddy winkles from college and joined us. We played "guess the attendance" with 322 - John and Debbie being piss takers, decided to block my answer, but guessing one either side - the result being 321 - not bad really for mine - so I'm going to claim that result. John managed to win the half time raffle, by claiming a bottle of white wine - bonus and we managed to slowly freeze while watching football. We managed to get goal back and looked like we could have gone on to win it - only for 90 mins to be blown.

Return trip back home - the in-car computer registered -4 - lovely - sat here shivering trying to get feeling back into my fingers. Hard fought battle - but, end of the day, the opposition are 2nd in the league or something - so well deserved really. Might even be a "we've turned the corner" style comment that Mr Souness might come out with.

Why oh Why oh Why - II

I think someone summed it up well today - "you must have done something wrong in a former life", of course, this is related to the woman situation in my world - well, lack of I should say. Just before Xmas, I bumped into and met a nice lass, someone I felt comfortable with - then, all of a sudden, she's jetting off to China. I thought I was a decent snog, you know, nothing bad, nothing good, but decent - but never as bad as someone moving half way around the world because of me!

Anyhow, before she left, she sent me a text with her MSN address - and once in a while we chat - you know, nothing heavy, just chinwag, trying to flirt a little (never works well on MSN, i tell you). So, being a brave lad that I have been recently with Sarah, today I asked if I could have a surname to add to my phone's address book for her number. Instead I got, "might as well delete that number, doesnt work anymore". So, as Paula Abdul used to say, two steps forward, and three steps back - but then she also danced with a cartoon cat, so dont trust her too much!

Anyhow, doubt there is much I can do in the next x number of months, while I'm stuck here in oh so warm England, and young foxy Sarah is stuck in China - damn my cursed women luck!

England - Nation of Animal Lovers

We already know that we're a race of cat, dog etc lovers - and its highlighted when an animal is an abnormal situation - such as the Whale which has swam up the Thames. Rather than calling it/him/her a Whale, I've decided to give the Whale a name - William - feels more friendly. Rich told me yesterday afternoon that Sky News were running the headline story of "Whale in Thames" and I thought he was winding me up. Needless to say, after switching Sky News on - the WhaleCopter flying over the Thames, Whalexperts from around the world being interviewed on the chances of survival, and random punters texting in offering their advice;

Why can't we airlift the creature out of the Thames and dump it back in the
North Sea?

I'm distressed at the state of the Whale, it looks tired

Myself and Rich had a few suggestions - including letting sharks (I'm calling Simon and Sid) loose in the Thames to push the Whale down the Thames, then release something bigger to scare the sharks out of the Thames. Rich suggested taking the Whale for a pint and sorting out our differences, then get the 632 bus down to Southend and dropping it off at the beach.

William - The Whale - look, he's smiling!

Some guff I stole from the BBC news website about Whales - and as you can see - they live in the sea! wow, and people are suprised that the Thames is in the area of "Where they live"

After about 5 hours of live feed, Sky News returned to the desk, interviewed Terry Nutkins (friend of Johnny Morris, Dolphins and other sealife creatures) about the Whale, and Terry, bless him, offered more common sense than anyone, including the 101 "Whalexperts" on the banks of the Thames.

Then, all of a sudden, "Someone has been arrersted in Buckingham Palace, but now, back to the Whale in the Thames, more on that story later"

Anyway, I'm off to London to cash in on this, with my printed tshirts of Charlotte Church saying "I love Whales" and to offer my "Whalexpert" advice on the species, everyone else is doing it - why not me! No, I wont be heading to the Whaleway Station, like some pecker suggested on Sky News.

Film 2006

I have a reputation for avoiding scary / horror / thriller films - just dont like them at all, and its just not the fact that my finger nails are embedded into the nearest chair for 90 mins, its the fact it embeds into my head and continues to scare the crap out of me. Needless to say, I avoid these type of films, and stick with comedy and action films - just on the off chance I watch something creepy and dont sleep for a week - and in all honesty, the scariest movie that I've bought for my collection is Men in Black, or something strange like that.

I bought War of the Worlds, mainly because it looked pretty good, and something that I've been after for a while, one way or another, so on my Happy Friday In (In is the new Out, divvent ya knar) I settled down with some Tetley and switched the lights off.

I know the film isnt supposed to be scary and probably due to my current state of constant paranoia - well - and the flow of alcohol, I slowly and surely started to brick my pants. Personally I thought it was a good film, good special effects and decent acting - and no Debbie, I didnt cry at the end! I dont know how the son managed to get to Boston at the end - which was a bit of mystery to me.

Needless to say, I mentioned that it wasnt just a normal film to Rich and got back, "State of you" - so I've decided to keep my experiences skin deep, to avoid embarresment and any further piss take. Anyhooooo - good film, easy watching, still pants bricking tho.

Stressfree football

Normally when you play football, you try putting all kinds of misery out of your mind - or it reflects in your game. This was true for last thursdays sham of a thursday 2 hour lunch football session, when I let work get in the way of my game - missing the target 20 times - so I was eager to put my shamtastic football to one side for a couple of days.

I've been swimming a bit this week and I could feel the way my running was improved, able to keep up with people and in fact, for the first time in a long time, able to beat people - yay! I managed to score a left footer lastnight, even tho, I have to admit, I thought I scuffed the ball and put it wide - but hey, as my old man told me - "Son, they all count".

Today was revenge day, I missed so many last week, I had to borrow hands to count them on - and feeling a bit bloated from a 12" pizza at 23:00 lastnight I expected a repeat performance was on the cards - however, nope, managed to score about 5, setting up 2 - and yet we still lost! Felt like I worked my socks off (just as well I bought a new pair at the weekend) and came out feeling great - got back home, made a drink of water - only to find out I had to be on 2 conf calls between 2 and 4 - yay, sitting in sweaty gear for me.

Everyone has a Fairy Godmother

You know in the olden days - when people used to have fairy godmothers and such like - well I dont think times have changed so much. For example, tuesday was a bit of a shit day, and probably was a result to 2 weeks of spiralling sham that came to a head. To be fair, I really didnt to too much on Tuesday, apart from doing 100 lengths at the pool, held a team meeting, got shouted at by people - the usual tuesday gubbins. It got to about 2pm, when I thought, why do I bother, why do I put up with this - anyhow, in the same 3 minute time frame, I ended up talking to Rich who suggested a couple of pints to put the world to rights.

So, after a couple more meetings, more people shouting at me - it got to 16:45 when I thought bugger it - I asked Rich if he could get off from work a little earlier than normal and invited him down to the Well. Rich has a real knack of putting things in to perspective - "Pint of Carling Steve?" and you know what, it worked.

However, due to rushing around, swimming and having conf calls etc, I forgot that I only had a gammon sandwich all day, so after the 3rd pint, I was completely minced and unable to speak. I ended up getting a cheesy chip putty from the Well, and ended up forcing another pint down my neck. Rich has some kind of a pizza fetish at the moment, so we ended up in Piccolino's while he shammed around getting a take out, giving me the opportunity to have a swift half pint - mmm.

Thanks Rich, 60 more mins and the men in the white coats would have come and took me away - and no, not the lab technicians.

Healthy Steve - two words you would never think are linked together

I'm in a healthy frame of mind for a change - it all started in the car this morning while I listened to Radio 1, and they had some health dude on, suggesting ways of getting fitter. Normally, it goes in one ear and comes out the other - but for a change, decided to listen, and do something about it more importantly. I got off to a bad start when I had a twix with my cup of tea, but my defence is that they didnt have any apples in the vending machine. I was due to go to a meeting, however got told I wasnt needed, so came home - after a number of meetings and presentations, I decided enough was enough and I should go for a swim.

Swimming is like running, apart from getting wet, not having to concentrate on running and really, you dont have to make too much of an effort - I find - which suited me well. After 50 lengths I decided to go for a sauna, mainly because there was a scary fat man in the jacuzzi smiling and talking to himself. I relaxed, chilled and tried to find out if the fat scary man had left - just my luck - still there. Bugger it I thought, I'm away home - watch some TV, do some work, eat some healthy food - be happy - only to find, when when I was walking out, some fit lass smiled and said Hi to me. I'd walked too far to turn around - damn that crazy scary fat man!

When I returned home and had a chat with upstairs, I switched my George Foreman grill on, bunged some rice to boil - slapped on chicken and red & green peppers on the grill - 10 mins - healthy meal - and I'd made it myself. To be fair, it was boil in the bag rice - but still - healthy all the same. I even washed it down with OJ and a healthy style cheesecake - mmmm.

Holland & Football - normally linked - not today

I had an email from my boss's boss asking if I could help some point out in Holland - running around like a headless chicken trying to get ready for Thursdays Work/Life Balance 5aside - it didnt really help my cause. Apparently they had some massive issues which they asked for help - and I said I could help in PD - but also get one of my guys to assist if need be. Before I know it - some Dutch dude is phoning me up asking me to travel to Holland to assist - er aye! Steady there skipper!

I turned up for football, where we had one man advantage and we played half pitch - which personally I think its a bit poor, but hey - less to run. I knew things were starting to go badly when I tried to chip the last man and ended up missing pretty badly. The general jist of this story is - insert 50 mins and 20 shots on target, with no goals, and alot of banter from the opposition. Normally I would have got at least 3 or 4 of them on a good day - however their keeper was in complete form - at which point, I was 1-on-1 with the keeper, I hit the ball, the ball deflected off the keeper back to myself - and again, and again - missed.

We got hammered, completely hammered and when I got back to my place to continue working - I had an instant message from the guy who arranges Thursday football saying, "One of the attendants felt sorry for the one who missed all the goals - they give us discount" - cheeky little sod. Need to get fitter again, starting with swimming on Friday after work, with Debbie!

Lost with LOST

It was Debbie's birthday today, and with being manic at work, I had to pop into town to get a couple of bits and bobs and her present. After returning back home to continue to work, I never got the chance to wrap it - then had to pop out again to organise 5aside football. Its starting to become a bit of a drag, because you know what its like - some weeks you just cant be arsed - however, I've got to make that extra effort because I pay for it, arrange it and have to ensure that people turn up the next week.

Anyhow, after a crap game of football - by not scoring any - however setting up someone with a fantastic threw-ball/chip, I returned back home, wrapped up Debbie's presents and took them around to her flat where I said a quick hello to herself and John.

I returned to my gaff, continued making my roast dinner - sat down with a pint of Tetley's Smooth and switched the TV on. The last two episodes of LOST series one was on tonight and although having not watched the full series, I decided it would be a nice chilled out thing to do. The first episode completed and I thought to myself, after pouring myself a second can, that they would have to run with the conclusions pretty quickly in the last episode to make things a little more clearer. OOOH, how wrong can you get - invisible tree lifting gubbins, pirates stealing kids and a hatch being opened up - all left me in a bit of a disarray. In fact, some would say, left more questions than answers, and only to be told that the 2nd series would be shown in the spring.

Looking vr confused, I went to bed, but not sleeping due to the lingering cold and hearing things outside next to the canal - handy.

Tester Warburton!

Mr Rich was kind of enough to give me one of his invites to the Windows Live Messenger (Basically MSN version 8) Beta testing. There are a number of versions kicking around the joint that you can download, but requires some proxy software to bypass the Mircosoft security systems, however this just needs to assign an OK against your name and allows you to sign in.

I have to say, its a massive change in terms of the interface, and its taken a bit of getting used too. Its all a bit XP'y - with bright colours and billy big buttons - but once you get there, it is actually pretty good. I signed up for another Beta yesterday, Windows Live Mail beta, which apparentl I'll hear about in the next couple of weeks - all sounds a bit like hotmail - but draggy droppy kind of gubbins with a 2Gb mail file - I only get 100Mb at work!!

Moment of Bright madness

I've had a couple of light bulbs that have litterally blown up - leaving part of the bulb ( the metal bit ) inside the light fitting. Its been like this for a couple of weeks, and I decided to do something about it, well, when I came across the spare bulbs in the cupboard anyhow. I done the sensible thing and turned the lights off, and had a good look inside the fitting and tried turning the bits that were left over.

I have to say, in a moment of stupidness, it looked safe and decided to try turning the remaining bulb while the light was on - thinking nothing would happen, well, til *BANG* - plunged in complete darkness with only a massive bright light around my thumb. My first thought was feck, what have I done, the next bit was, what do I do ? do I earth myself? do I run my thumb under a tap?

Luckily, due to the fuse and wiring of the flat, it had done the tripswitch in - stopping me from doing any further harm.

Light still not fixed - thumb throbbing slightly!

Boring Boring Football

After lastnights relaxing and taking it easy happy friday, I slept in a little, popped into town to get a very cheap copy of Mario Kart - Double Dash, to play on my Game Cube. I've not played on my Game Cube for a while - mainly because John and Debbie have had it next door to play Donkey Conga (honestly - tut!) and I got the idea from John who's just purchased a new Nitendo DS.

On returning from town, and venturing via Subway to get a sandwich, it was time to get changed into warm gear to watch the Brakes play Boldmere St Michaels'. It was starting to snow, and rain, and get cold - so a couple of layers went on, including thermals and a wooly hat. We got up there just before 3pm and the weather had improved and was getting a little warmer due to the shelter. I ordered myself an FA Cup limited addition Brakes football shirt from the guy, and he also mentioned that he had an umbrella for me if I was still interested - fine by me - so he's going to call me when they are ready.

The game itself, was vr scrappy, its what you expect in the middle of winter, a mudpit, scrappy play and very little chances. This continued til about 85 mins into the game, then the Brakes managed to step up a gear, previous missed passes, were now hitting the targets, and they were becoming vintage Brakes again. Then the final whistle - another draw at home (never going to beat Chesterfields') - final score 0-0 - match report can be found here. I also won "guess the attendance" with my answer of 412, actual attendance was 423.

Got home, warmed up, played Double Dash, had food, watched "Walking with Monsters" and indulged in a bottle of wine - got drunk, entered coma, The End.

Junior Blanks - Free Music!

I had an MSN from Ant (used to be in Collapsed Lung, DJ Scissor Kicks and now of ex-Junior Blanks) saying that the band has posted all their music online. There is the option to either download the zip files (consists of about 20 tracks) or email them and get actual records sent out.

I was only missing three tracks and have to say, I was impressed with the ones I have now got in my collection - including Medicine Show and Heaven Help Them All (which includes a backing track of the Crash Test Dummies' mmm mmm mmm song)

Anyhow, you can download them free of charge at :

http://www.juniorblanks.co.uk/

Festive Time of year - not at all commercial

Anyone interested in Easter Eggs ? Somerfield now has them on sale - not bad for 5th Jan!

Boxing Day's Boxing Game

An early start today - 6am, all in the name of football, and with a small possibility of seeing Sarah, if she calls. Today is Boxing Day, its also the first local derby between Leamington FC and Racing Club Warwick for eons - local pride and bragging rights were are stake, so personally for me, I had to be there.

As I mentioned, 6am was an early start, with the plan of leaving my mum's at 6.30am to get down in time to grab a shower, get changed and pack things away and make the place look tidy. That was the plan anyhow, after a cup of tea, a chat with my mum and washed, shaved and teeth brushed the time was heading towards 6.45. After packing the car with a number of things, and still half a sleep, my mum announces that I should take my Teddy Bears down with me - based on the asumption my mum's had them stored away for 10 years, and a couple more months wouldnt do. Rather than getting private jabs from Rich, Nomes and Andy, I thought I would take a photo and post them up - so then everyone can take the piss, in a mission to dilute the piss take. So, I give you Camel, and Big Ted, the latter being my fav bear, and the former itching me like anything - and still does.

Camel - Itchy little thing!

Big Ted - My fav - not looking a lil dirty!

Anyhoo, back to the story - heading back south, and managed to get back home around 10am which isnt to bad, mainly because the roads were quiet and not many police around. After melting in the shower, John and Debbie arrived from Wales - and we had a quick drive over to Racing Club Warwick's ground. I have to say, I've been to some bad substandard grounds in my time - however this was shocking - it looked like someone's back garden and thought at one point there were actually ramblers rather than footballing fans.

Racing Club Warwick's Ground * Warning - Might not actually be the ground

1280 more or less fitted into the ground, and it was dirty from the off - Racing Club Warwick deciding that boxing on Boxing Day would be apt, however we managed to fill our midfield full and pick up on the counter. The patience payed off when in the second half, Howell ran down the right wing and crossed for Richard Adams to volley into the net - fantastic goal, well taken and just the Christmas present the Brakes needed. Full time was Racing Club Warwick 0 - Leamington FC 1 - full match report can be found here. This give me the opportunity to poke fun at the 8 year old kid stood next to us who was a Warwick fan, who basically didnt stop going on about the Brake's 9-1 defeat against Colchester - until Debbie told me off!

A quick drive back, changed and the three of us went down to the Well for pub meal, beer and Newcastle v Liverpool - which ended up in Liverpool scoring 2 and us none - and giving us a lesson in football, and turning my day into misery.

Nice to have my own space back, nice to have a shower and central heating too.

Merry Christmas

If anyone knows about how my family is setup - then they will understand how stressful Christmas day is. I dont mean that in a bad way, just one thing that you really dont need - its all based around precision timing - ie, My Dad pops out to the local working man's club and doesnt return til he knows the Christmas dinner is on the table, my sister was around at the inlaws this year to confuse things that little bit more.

Anyhoo, after nursing a bit of a hangover, I rose from the spare bedroom, wished my mother a merry Christmas, and got a cup of tea in exchange - brilliant! I then got a text from my sister saying, "Can you bring milk over" - this is the 2nd year that she's done that, so just going to get her a 2 pint bottle of red top of next year - done and dusted. As mentioned, my Dad was out on a mission at 11am on the dot, meaning I had to get over to Winlaton, see my sister, and pop up to my Dad's and give him the presents. I'd asked for the Starwars Ep III from my dad, mainly because it finished my collection off nicely - so, was suprised when I recieved some smellies from boots and some boots vouchers - nevermind eh ?

I dropped him off in the village, and headed back to my sisters, where my mum was waiting, talking to the dog and probably annoying the bro-in-law. Managed to get a nice shirt from my sister and a George Formby Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. Turned out nice again! I only got the Junior sized one because my sister said, "You cant get a girl friend - so you're cooking for one!", then Phil suggested, "... and it was cheaper that the full size one".

Anyhooo, after drinking 2 gallons of tea and outstaying our welcome - we returned to my mothers gaff, had yet more tea and opened presents and started the Christmas Dinner. The Dinner was fantastic, I have to say, my mum makes a lovely Xmas Dinner - then I grew to 3 times the size of her flat and burst. I managed to get one of them Chocolate Fondu sets from my mum - and everything that you more or less need to have a Chocolate Fondu night in. I reckon my mother thinks I'm going to be entertaining over the night couple of months - so trying to educate me in the ways of the posh.

My mum has an uncanny knack of having an opinion on everything - for example;

You havent seen Bend it like Beckham ? Dont Worry, it's Crap

The JCB Song is pretty good isnt it That song is crap,
dont know how that made it to number one.

That tshirt you're wearing, Stephen, its a bit of a colour clash and I dont like
it.

Needless to say, when I switched the TV on to chill out - this happened. ...

Silent Night ... Holy Night ... Thank the Lord - My mum, exhausted by talking

I had a couple of cans, watched the TV, watched Toy Story 2 for the first time which was excellent, then the Christmas Special of Doctor Who, followed by some Christmas TV Tat and bed for an early start to the morning!

All in all, a very nice Christmas - an enjoyable break, relaxing, testing at times - cant wait to get back to my place for a shower!

Best Christmas Eve - Ever!

Mainly due to the fact that I didnt get to see Philippa lastnight, the fact I'm leaving Newcastle first thing Monday and in between, theres a small thing called Christmas - I decided to treat Pip out for the day. Its been a while since I've seen her, and I do like spending time with her - even tho she is completely nuts. After her lastnight's bit of bad news with work - she decided to stay in town with her work mates and get hammered, so by the time I got to her flat - she could only mutter one word - "MacDonalds". After running an courier service for my mother, we ended up down the Metro Centre's drive thru - and driving away with about 20 quids worth of fast food - and heading to Tynemouth.

I like going to the coast when I'm up in Newcastle, and I think if / when I do move back up North, I'll move to Tynemouth or somewhere close. Just feels nice, cold, but nice - and you feel like you have the wind in your hair - well, to be honest, it was in my hair - and chilled my face off. The one thing about Tynemouth is, I've never been to their Sealife Centre type Aquarium - so decided to take Philippa there.

Philippa - excited

We got there and had a quick look around the information centre - and it was hard to see who was the "nearly 31" out of us - and who was the child like person. Oh yeah, we've both 31 in Feb - bugger. We paid our money - well, technically, although I was treating Philippa, she ended up paying - with a shifty right eye on the centre shop - full of tat - yes, thats correct - Pippa has a tat fetish.

Fish May Bite - That includes household Goldfish!

Interesting how the above sign was all over the gaff when you have the harmless goldfish and sea life fish/animals - yet, when it came to the Piranha tanks - no sign what so ever. Anyhoo, we wandered around, looked and read up on the tropical fish, saw the cute otter that could rip your voice box out in seconds and then the scary evil deadly frogs

Toon Fish!

We walked around the corner, and found a massive tank full of different creatures - including sting rays (STIIIING RAAY - Doodledoodledoo) and then fancy looking sharks - took some photos - faffed around and laughed at random looking ugly fish.

A Shark - looking hungry, yesterday, pictured centre

After about 45 mins faffing around looking at fish - Philippa decided to look at the world of tat - buying some dodgy keyring with her name on. Reckon, given 20 mins, she could have bought the whole shop with bags of crap going to her flat.

We drove around Tynemouth a little more and after her refusing to get out of the car because "it was to cold and you can just go f**k off if you think I'm walking on the beach" - I got out of the car on my own and went to take some photos - some of which will be on Flikr.

To improve my Christmas Eve mood - Pippa decided to ask if we could pop into a supermarket to get some essentials - like milk, bread, 5 bottles of wine! I ended up coming out with a griddle pan, and 10 quids worth of random frozen products for tea and some old speckled hen - mmm. Anyhooo, dropped Pippa back at her flat and headed back to my mothers to eat the frozen food I purchased, and drink the booze, that I had purchased, sat down in the chair, and didnt move

The Eve Before Christmas Eve

I was due to go out drinking with Philippa and Een tonight, however, due to a number of reasons - it bombed out, but to be honest, I was knackered, so a blessing in disguise. Instead, decided to return Sarah's (sexy Sarah from the other night) call and apologise for not being able to chat much, well technically at all. We had a good chinwag, got to know each other a little more, and give Sarah the details of when I would be back in Leam, and she said she would text me over the weekend and before she leaves for her travels.

Text'd Debbie, to which I got a sarcy text message saying I was a big boy for talking to the opposite sex!

In festive mood now!

Books Books Books and More Books

Thankfully, there is a festive mind in the company these days, so I was able to leave around midday - however, thanks to numbnuts, I had to stay a little later to shovel more crap. I had a scan on friends reunited for old school mates incase there were hanging around in Newcastle, where I came across an old school mate Sarah. She's just opened a Book Shop over in Ryton (about 4 mile away from where I grew up) and popped over for a couple of hours for a chinwag to catch up and fill in a bit of time.

Turns out "Henry's Book Shop" has only been open for a couple of weeks, but looks a fantastic setup already. We nattered over tea, talked about times in the past, some old friends, my old physics teacher becoming headmaster at my old comp - so strange, so wrong. Sarah went to powder her nose - and asked me to look after the shop - I've never looked after a book shop, and technically speaking, there wasnt any customers - however, it felt good - stressfree, interesting and give you the satisfaction of people watching - while you make a living.

Anyhoooo, if you're interested in ordering a book, get it from Henry's Bookshop, Sarah is able to post orders, so its not like you have to travel to Newcastle. Anyhow, if you're interested, you can email Sarah on henrys.books@virgin.net - could well save you some money.

Howay Man! Jeff Man!

I feel like a lucky man today ... I took a slightly different route to work this morning - and not only passed one site that was filmed on Byker Grove, but two. Yes, around the corner from my mothers, you actually have the castle type building that was used on the Byker Grove set. Further down the hill, was the place where Ant (or was it Dec) got blinded in the Paintballing exercise.

This is Stefan Warburton bringing you filming sets from around the North East!

Catching up

Its been nice up in the North East, although been busy and completely zapping, I've managed to catch up with a couple of friends and most of the immediate family. I popped over to see my sister on Monday night, just before she went out into Newcastle for a session with her shift. She'd invited me out, mainly because one of her mates is single and looking - and apparently interested - but because I had to continue my visiting, politely declined.

I popped over to see EEN and Sarah, and of course, cute little Jess - who were all full of cold - and ironically, me being the fittest and healthiest one there. Sarah has just been told that they're expecting their next child in June time - so its all very exciting - and once little Jess got used to me again, she couldnt stop giving me her photo with Father Xmas and herself - all very exciting, I'm sure. Planned to go out for a couple of quiet ones with Een later on in the week, maybe meeting up with Pippa on Friday and Xmas Eve.

Yesterday lunch time, I met up with Gillian (my sister) and my Dad up in Winlaton at the Rose and Crown and bought them lunch - only seemed fair after buying my mum Sunday Lunch at the weekend in Newcastle. Had a chin wag, myself and Gillian were up to our old tricks or having childish place fights - even making me bleed when I punched her wedding ring! thanks!

SOMETHING'S COMING,,,>

Just been checking the Doctor Who Website for information about the Christmas Invastion Special. Looks like they have a couple of trailers already and a couple of teasers.

Looking forward to it already.

Also, there are a number of photos found here - with some spoilers.

Ice Stops Play!

A busy, tight scheduled day ahead. I have to admit, with my mum moving jobs, and with it, homes, I dont know where she lives. The only thing I had to go on was a postcode - and technically, I could have asked for directions - but thats the easy way out. Mr Palin purchased a fancy Tomtom satnav device the other day and give me an idea. I decided to do the same, and purchased a slightly lower model (going for the 500, instead of the 700). Rich tipped me off that Argos had them on the cheap, so after some web research and finding out that Argos had this saving of 100 quid, I decided to plump for it, and shove it on my credit card.

I had about 30 mins to work out how to use it, get the flat tidy and pack the car as the Brakes were playing in Rorster. I actually managed it, meeting John and Debbie out on the street and prompted left Leam. We got on the road, going through Kenilworth, however this TomTom 500 couldnt find a GPS signal - great, spent a fortune on something that doesnt even work. It got to the situation where i was about to throw it out the window when we got to the M6 Toll booth, opened the window to pay and "IN 300 YARDS - TAKE THE 2ND EXIT ON THE ROUNDABOUT". The women at the toll booth give me a funny look, and I give her one too, thinking she was taking the piss. I preprogrammed the device before we left - and it was actually working pretty well, even with a scouse style "ROUND-ABOUT" comedy accent - sounded something like Thomas the Tank Engine. We got into the town, and I have to say, I would fancy living there - looked like a nice town to live in, although was surrounded by a high percentage of chavs. We reached the ground and there was 5 mins before kick off, however still alot of people knocking around - including people getting on and off the team bus.

One of the supporters club guys came up to Debbie's and my car telling us that the game had been cancelled at 2pm - nice. So, not only have I ran around like a headless chicken, I've driven god knows how far, but the game got cancelled without anyone knowing it. John, Debbie and I headed to a local pub to releave ourselves and had a quick drink, before we split - them heading home, and I heaving towards Newcastle via crosscountry towards the M1.

The TomTom device worked well, I even changed the display so you could see the road that you're driving along and it was suprisingly accurate. I headed to the last major roundabout towards my mum's when my phone went - assuming it was my mum, I shouted that I was driving still and would give them a bell back. The TomTom device guided me to my mum's postcode - it was 30 metres out - which isnt to bad going, considering I've never been here before.

After getting myself settled, and 3 cups of tea and chatted to my mum - I apologised to my mum for not being able to pick the phone up while I was driving. She said she didnt know anything about it and never called me - so checked my phone - a Leamington Number - which was a bit strange. I assumed that it was John and Debbie who checked my flat and I'd forgot some presents behind or I've shamed around slightly. So I called the number, and some bloke answered the phone - I said hello a couple of times and got "Ah, is that Steve?" - you know what its like when you dont know someones voice so said yes. "Ah, I'll get Sarah, she called you earlier but thought you'd given her the wrong number". YES!!! So I chatted a little bit, told her that I was going to be back in Leam on boxing day morning, and if she was still around (she's off to China), I'd take her out for a drink or do something interesting.

Happy Festive Friday!

After suffering all day with a hangover, the last thing I really needed was some kind of heavy happy friday, so we ended up going to picollinos for a pizza and a pint of peroni. Well, I only managed 3/4's of the pint, am I actually getting old and unable to take my beer. It was suggested that we could go for a bottle of wine at the jug, however, John and Debbie have been following space cadets pretty closely, so arranged to have some drinks at theirs. As we had to get up early to a) pack for newcastle b) clean my flat as it was a tip and c) get to Rocester to watch the match, it was supposed to be a sensible night in.

I purchased Buckaroo the day before, I think, so we set that up and had a couple of goes with that, John loosing both, then settled down with a bottle of wine, a smile and a glass. I havent watched much of Space Cadets, but did have a chuckle at the end when the revealed that it was all a setup.

We continued watching TV, with QI (first time i've seen that) and then later on, Jimmy Carr live - then wine ended, luckily john had some whisky - to which I nearly slipped into a coma, but managed to crawl back and tuck myself into the covers.