Monday, October 31, 2005

Embrace Change!

I've always been told to accept change with open arms and work with it - instead of against it - and I have, almost. Here are two bits of information that may or may not interest you and your lives.

Tuesday P-P-P-P-P-P-Pound Night at Robbins Well (its a quid) - Is now on Monday Night, and Tuesday night has been replaced by Bulldozer (Redbull and vodka for a pound)

The Brakes official website has been opened up today and can be found at replaces Braking News and

Needless to say this has benefited me in many ways - how, Pound Night extends my weekends, and also doesn't clash with any Brakes fixtures on Tuesdays

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Singles and Doubles

I've been single for - well - since 2000 and never - and to be honest, yes, it has its ups and downs, but i think the injustice and plight of it all is getting to me and a number friends. You see stunning girls (albeit - might be completely brain dead) with complete gonks, piss takers and/or chavs. Fair enough you may say, you also may say, Steve (and friends) go out and make more of an effort - and believe me, we do - probably too much.

Sometimes you read into things too much, which is a shame, because then I would have someone I actually wanted, and was attracted too. Why do far too many women smoke too - you know, I've done it before in my past, most people have, just to see what its like (christ, I hope my mother isnt reading this). It just seems more women are doing it, or is it less blokes are doing it ? completely strange, but also very off putting - but I know you cant just put a certain criteria around "you're perfect partner".

I've been thinking around what catagory I would fall into - and its difficult. There is the "Mr Darcy" type catagory - which I dont think is me - I'm kind, considerate and like a laugh - but obviously being from Newcastle, I cant be. I'm not the Sports type, because I only do Sport because I have too, to socialise and get fit or to escape work. I certainly aint a trendy with the slick haircut, tanned skin and up todate clothing. You have to think, what other areas are left - which kinda scares me. Have a real think about it - do you know what catagory you belong to ?

I guess its a bit like Breakfast Club and the final quote :

Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

Stefan Warburton - The ANTI-CHAV

After digging around t'inter super highway for random things (NUFC results and Fancy Dress Related stuff) I came across the following website. It beat me to an article I was going to personally write, mainly due to being sick of the number of chavs kicking around town, forgetting any kind of respect that I, a northerner, was told to give my elders and the other towns people.

I give you which allows people to register and moan, add comments about the state of their town, city or hamlet and the invasion of chavs. One article that I really liked about Leamington Spa is here. What isnt mentioned, is the chav club that now stands outside my front door, finding it amusing to press the intercom buzzer on a sunday evening, only to laugh at me when I open the door and tell them to twat off. Nor does it document the conversation that I heard just after, about one of the chavs wanting to "spark" his so called chav bro-inlaw because "he did the night before". Needless to say, the group of chav twats, had their own chav princess who looked doped up and probably 30 seconds from being impregnated.

It also doenst go into the details of me passing a group of chavs at 10:45 last saturday morning on the way up to Leeds - when they were drinking "White lightening" and "raaring me" from across the street.

As a nation, and Blunty's original suggestion, we should gas the little fuckers. Who really owns the streets ? The Police ? or Chav twats. Come on Blair - introduce a Chav Task Force and get these idiots off the street - and put the Great and into Britain like you said you were gonna do. Lets face it, this is not a fad, this is here to stay, and, if nothing is done about it - a full generation of workless goons. Jeez, I sound really old now!

Friday, October 28, 2005

clean becomes the unclean

Bloody typical isnt it. I took Monday and Tuesday off work to chill and relax, and as soon as I get to bed on Sunday night I knew something was up. My throat started to tighten up and breathing was a little difficult - this continued for a couple of days until Wednesday morning when, after 3 hours sleep, I returned to work feeling like a sack of potatos - dont ask me what it feels like - no idea, just making an assumption.

Anyhooo, it Warburton's moment of madness with Wednesday night football - where I decided playing football would be good for my body and help sweat the crap out of my body. After 10 mins of running around, I thought my normally healthy organs were about to fall out and someone would kick them thinking it was the football. After a 30 second moment of complete football genius, someone punted the ball over the top, with (me being onsite for a change) only a defender and keeper (annoying welsh twat) to beat - of which I did. Heading the ball around the defender, beating him without my vital organs working and sliding the ball past the keeper. Certainly one of the best goals I've every scored - considering my state of health. Even people were saying what a great goal it was - while I was trying to catch my breath - nice!

Anyhoooo, I arranged to meet Rich down the Well to watch Grimsby v Newcastle in the Carling Cup - esp after Souness announced it was going to be a big team against a big team - I was worried about getting kicked out of the cup. After a quick shower, changed and out again, my bird flu kicked in again, aided by a couple of medicinal pints of tetley and msr's - the toon strolling to a 1-0 win over 10 decent grimsby players and a thug who decided to kick the 256 shades of grey out of shearer. During the post match interviews, Shearer didnt look too chuffed, but no matter, my eyes were starting to sink and suggested to Rich that we left, before he had to carry me home.

By Thursday I had to cancel my Thursday Lunch football session as I could barely walk or last 2 seconds without coughing - and sitting in the kitchen (coldest room in the flat) with a tshirt on, shorts, and the windows wide open, sweating like something hot, in hotland. Managed to get a good night sleep lastnight tho, which made me feel a little better today - hoping tomorrow I should be OK to get into town or even to Holbeach to watch the FA Vase game!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

washing away the unclean

Its be about 2 and a half years missing in the premiership, and technically about 14 days worth of pure stress for me - but the return of the tyne and wear derby - aka Newcastle United v the unwashed mackems was on the fixture. Its always the time of the year, when bragging rights are available to the winners, and its 12 months (or longer) til you can at least get them back. I know there is the celtic / rangers, spurs / arsenal, man city / manure, milan x2 etc etc - but the end of the day - nothing is as big as this, there isnt any bigger rivalry between two sets of teams and fans.

Pippa was going to the match and after a couple of texts, you know she was going crazy in the head - and frustrated because the game wasnt over right then and there. The news that Owen wasnt playing was eating every geordie up around the world - and made the fight for 3 points even hotter than a hot thing in hotland.

Rich was on about putting a bet on - because it matters more when theres money on it - and I still dont really know if he did or not - although he was swearing and cursing at sunderland at full time. Rich turned up about 10 mins after kick off, and I was already panicing - sunderland made a harsh challenge on Emre in the first 30 seconds and they got a yellow card for it. Ameobi managed to score a powering header, only for the unclean to claw one back 90 seconds later, Ameobi scored a second (from a header again) - for yet again, sunderland to score again. This was truely an advert for english football, and certainly for the north east.

We were watching this from the Well, and normally everyone is pretty chatty to each other - however, the black and white shirts, kept well away from the red and whites - not even a nod, not even a smile within 2 hours - even at the bar, toilets or if someone needed to get past a table or chair. The 2nd half kicked off, and again, Newcastle dominated the game, with the return of solano and emre - our quality started to shine through, and then fantastic, Emre scoring from a free kick - in off the post - fantastic - 3-2 - this time, the geordie nation prayed that we could keep the unwashed away from our goal for the remainder of the game.

We were very luckly - the width of a crossbar (Elliot chipped Given for the ball to bounce back out) we were sailing home free, with 3 points safely tucked under our captain's hat. Our win took us to the top of the bottom half of the table, the unwashed heading back into the relegation zone. After all that happened at wigan last weekend - we needed this, not just for the league, not just for the club, but for the players, the fans and once again, to instantly shut up any gobby mackem scum who starts to mouth off.

Advantage : Newcastle

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Magic of the Cup Roadshow

An early start to the day, as a trip to West Yorkshire was the plan to watch Leam FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifier Round to the FA Cup. Alot was to play for - a passage into the 1st round of the FA Cup proper - and I'd originally invited Bluntarian and Headworth for a trip to taste the delights - however both shyed off.
Anyhooo, the plan was to set off around 10am - and get up early - however, due to a bottle of wine lastnight, my eyes were wtill gel'd together and ended up leaving around 10:40 - getting petrol on the way. I had to take my own car, as John and Debbie were visiting John's parents down in Wales - so had a number of options on the cards - sadly, with the Newcastle v Sunderland game on live tv tomorrow - I came back. John and Debbie must had have about 25 mins head start, so wanted to catch up with the - and by the M1/M69 junction, I caught up with the first car with a Brakes scarf in the back window. Just after Nottingham, I managed to catch up with the cheeky pair and we took it in turns to lead.
We got there about 2 hours after me setting off from my gaff - which isnt too bad - and with Leeds being 10 mile north - reckon I can get to Leeds in about 2 hours 30 tops now. Anyhooo, first thing we done in Ossett Town was find a pub that sold food, and had toilets - which we did - and it was very nice. We timed it so well, that just as we sat down, there was 100s of Brakes fans piling in - and once we had our food - we wandered around the quaint little town and then headed to the ground. It was a strange place, with an even stranger triagle shaped practice pitch behind it - the grass was long - and the pitch quality was poor. We moved around a bit, and some guy offered to buy my programme for 5 quid (paid £1.50) - but we settled on 2 quid - because I'm so nice. Kick off came and went, and to be fair Ossett dominated the first 10 mins - over powering the Brakes, out running - then all of a sudden Ossett just slowed down.
The one thing that Ossett now has in common with the silver screen - Green Street - I know football is about opinions - however, I had the misfortune to stand about 10 metres away from Burberry wearing twats, trying to cause fights and problems within the first half. Of course, the sucker punch, Ossett scored from a corner in the 10th minute (John had 11 mins on the Guess the Goal Compo) to which the Burberry wearing twats starting to mouth off a little. We managed to pull one back (as well as having a goal chalked off for some strange reasoning) and the twats starting to get more and more mouthier. By half time, we were 2-1 up and thankfully, justice had finally shone upon the ground - as the foul mouth chavs were escorted from the ground. We had certainly taken control from the 10 min onwards and it was a fantastic game to watch - as the passion from the fans certainly kicked in.
After half time, we once again dominated and should have scored more goals, but we got pegged back to 3-2 and a man sent off - with "1 minute of injury time" left to play, last lasted at least 4, we were all on the edges of the concrete slabs and panicing that they could pull back to 3-3 - taking us back to the New Windmill. The final whistle eventually was blown, and if by magic, it started to rain - I'd like to call them god's tears of joy.
The FA Cup 1st round proper was ours - and was also bring drawn about 17:10 - thanks to Rich who text'd me the oposition - Colchester - away! Matches being played the weekend of 4/5/6th November
Att: 900

Friday, October 21, 2005


The official weekend of BACK TO BASICS has begun - please enjoy your new found freedom and enjoyment of not wearing pants - please feel free to use the graphics anywhere you like - print them out and place them on bus shelters and in shop windows.
No Pants for me!

Or Me!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

First Cup of the Season

Another cold, wet, misry of a tuesday night - and it must mean that the Brakes are playing at home, and myself and John are popping up to watch them. A nice change to have a "friendly" game between Cov Sphinx - which allows us to keep one eye on the FA Cup Game at the weekend, but also have a good run around, without risking key players and cup/league position.
Around 200 spectators turned up to watch the match, which was end to end stuff, and very entertaining. It did look like it was going to be a cricket score but in the end, final score was 5-1 to the Brakes - winning "The Tony Allden Memorial Trophy" who apparently got killed in a lightening storm many years ago.
On the plus side - we've now sorted out our supports club membership - and now fully paid up. YAY!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Ecky Thump - Just what to do ?!?

Next weekend, Leamington FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifying round of the FA Cup - just outside of Leeds, my old stomping ground many years ago. So I'm a bit of a pickle to what to do. I have a couple of days left in holiday from work - so could take Friday and Monday off, and spend time around the place, and with John and Debbie visiting John's folks straight after the game, I've come to the following options.
  • Drive up and Drive back down after the game
  • Stay in Leeds friday and catch up with some old friends around Horsforth and Pudsey
  • Go up to newcastle friday, come back saturday via Ossett
  • Go to Ossett, then up to newcastle - come back Monday
  • Go up with Bluntarian and Headworth and sham around Leeds and try showing them around my old places

One thing is for sure, I do miss the damp wooden smell of Headingly - esp this time of the year.

John's superdooperfantasticalldaybeersesssion #2

To celebrate John's birthday, he arranged a chinese buffet meal, followed by an all day session around NE leamington. Not only had I sat through a dismal game and watching the "mightly" wigan and their 12th and 13th men (Ref and Lines man) triumph against the lowly minnows of Newcastle United, but also had to battle around town to get a) home and b) back into town. Rich and I eventually arranged to meet up with John and his now fed gang in a pub, while I sorted my sham out and Rich fed himself - and in between, arranged to meet none other than Captain Bluntarian.
So there we were, heading into an area of town, which if you're honest, you dont very often - sadly - its a nice area - and my fav pub from last year, the (Jimmy) Sommerville where the bulk of the Team were playing pass the pigs. Two pints heavier, we moved onto the Holly Bush, then the Cask at which point Rich made his excuses and left. All the way way back in the Sommerville, Captain Bluntarian was suggesting a curry, as he was starving, only eating a babybell since he got back from Canada - and it was a quest getting closer to his goal heading slowly down town. We popped into the Newbold Brasserie for a final drink, then into Milleniyummy for our meal - which was very very nice.
The group was getting smaller and smaller by the second - MC and Laura ended up going home to try on some oils or something - Garry reckson they were lezzing up, then by the time we got to the Jug, it was down to John, Debbie, Captain Bluntarian, Gav, Tracy and I. At this point, drink had deffo kicked in and the "Brian Blessed says ..." game kicked in. Photos were taken of the event, including two girls necking off with each other (Debbie, you still have to send me as promised) and "xyz looking angry and evil" photos. Last orders were ran, and we got into trouble for calling last orders as Brian Blessed would have ("Ahhh, Flash, Time gentlemen PLEEEASE") and ended up on the street. John and Debbie wandered in the direction of home - and being 00:30 - Myself and Blunty tried to get into the Well, only to be told by the bouncer that we were already an hour late and they couldnt let us in, although they did know that we were regulars and have seen us around before.
After 5 mins and being persistant like a pitbull and a small child's leg, they suggested that the Police were watching them because of some incident and would love to let me in, however they couldnt let me in the front door. I suggested that maybe the backdoor was left open and we could accidently fall in. Blunty just laughed and said that this had now chance of working out - and the chances are, they would all be laughing at us, from the other side of a locked door - and us looking like fools. True to the mans word - we got around and with a grin on his face, the door was opened quickly and blunty being so impressed - 12 drinks would be coming my way.
The lovely ooffyy was there - purrr, and we had a chin wag and apparently I smell nice - which is a nice change to being told that im a "skanky crackwhore and I should get out the pub". She is deffo in my top 20 females I'd bite my own arm off to be with *starts nibbling*
I'm assuming we left when beverages ceased to flow - only based on the fact that I woke up in my bed this morning with a beating head and felt like a badger had slept in my mouth overnight. Oh well, Happy Birthday John!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Wi-gan'ing home with no points

I ended up drinking a bottle of wine lastnight and having a chat with an old friend on MSN - and after watching DVD and TV - it was about 1am when I got to bed. I wanted to get up at a decent time, get into town, sort some stuff out - and have enough time to watch the Wigan - Newcastle down the Well, before hooking up with John for his annual birthday all day beer session around North East Leam.

I slept in, sleeping thru two alarm calls, and eventually waking up to Debbie asking if I wanted to join her on her Saturday trip to the gym. I declined and made myself a cuppa and read the news papers online - eventually getting a shower and recieving a text from Rich with Nintendogs in it - all very strange. I even told him about a strange dream I had, where he and I were in a lecture at a uni, where the tutor was playing music and asking the class to name the band and song - Rich and I won.
I met Rich down the well (well, I was about 5 mins late) and from the look he was giving me - I knew we were under pressure already. I ordered some food and sat down and we chinwagged about the state of football, the state of the high street in leam etc etc.

Just before half time, Wigan managed to score from a deflection of Shay Given - which should have been saved in my opinion - and my mood got gradually worse. The "Ref" looked like he was on the Wigan payroll by some of the decisions he was making - very very poor, again in my opinion. You just know when luck isnt on your side, when shearer clearly headed a ball over the line - only for the aging linesman to disagree.
Anyhoo, insert loads of crap decisions and 30 mins of poor passing and the final result (1-0) took Wigan to 2nd in the league - only for Ben (bar dude) to gloat alot in my face. Ended up coming home to get dressed for this afternoon and awaiting a call from John etc to where to meet them.
Hope my mood improves - football misery is taking over, slowly

Friday, October 14, 2005

Loosing something, and its not my marbles

I took an old friend out lastnight for a drink and a meal. Appears it was her birthday last week and she just returned from her holiday - she was due to have a session lastnight - but due to a number of people cancelling, I felt bad and asked her out to be sociable. There was nothing in it - whatsoever - and after being reminded on how great her Irish bf is - I knew this would be completely plutonic from now on - even telling her to behave herself at the up and coming Xmas Party at work.

Anyhoo, she managed to cheer me up by saying that I've lost weight - crazy how some simple things and words can mean alot to someone. I've never been confident about myself that much, and always paranoid what people think and say to me - some of which I just laugh and shrug off - but was nice to get a compliment such as that.

Anyhooo, after a quick pint in the Jug, then a Pizza and bottle of wine and Piccolino's - we returned to the Jug for a quick chat, and she was off to see her bf - so I returned home - had a bottle of old speckled hen - and ended up in a coma.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Happy Birthday Mum

~~~~ Happy Birthday !! ~~~~

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

wot no glory hunters ?

You knew from the off, it was going to be a wet, cold night - as soon as I left my flat, it started spitting with rain - but the optimist that I am, I thought it would blow over. Luckily I wore my winter jacket - well I say winter jacket, I havent worn it for two years due to the warmth of Warwickshire. I buzzed John (Debbie couldnt make it due to work) and give him a lift up - armed with his sensible umbrella and sporting a massive grin.
Anyhooo, tonight was Leamington v Oldbury (remember, we lost 4-1) in the Birmingham County Senior Cup (Round 2 - we got a bye in the first round) and the away players turned up in jumper suits - looking like something out of a Beastie Boys video. We were 1-0 by half time and it looked like easing up (even then still looking on the brightside of life). The first touch in the second half went in the back of the net to make it 2-0 to the brakes - nanoseconds before hand, a bunch of kids said, "Thats a shit freekick and will never go in"

" We hate racing, we hate racing, we hate racing .... we hate racing"
We made it 3-0, then endured 15 mins of pressure - and heavy rain - and with a couple of minutes of normal time left - we were pegged back to 3-2 by some terrible defending and we started to take our mind off the game. Luckily for us, the Ref was getting soaked and blew the whistle for full time - punting us through to the next round. 273 people attended (more than NUFC v MUFC reserves - so I'm told) so a massive dive from the glory hunting "fans" from the FA Cup Qualifier at the weekend - but still brilliant. On top of that, we've applied for Supporter's Club Membership - so need to find out more about that shortly.
Does have to be said tho, although we were out in the rain (I dont mind the rain, John was stood clutching his umbrella) - hats off to the two lads at the North Bank side of the ground who sang their hearts out who got even damper than what I was.

Vote Rodman : Brakes Party

The FA have announced the voting for the 3rd Qualifier Player of the Round - and luckily, Leamington FC's Rodman has been included in the voting. The vote goes on until next Monday - but more importantly the winner of the round gets 1000 quid to spend on football gear for a local school, community group. Please logon to and cast your vote.

Rodman, a winner!
If the process is the same as last year - then Rodman also gets invited to the FA Cup Final as VIP and wins a trophy - THINK OF THE KIDS!!!
He's currently in at around 40% of the votes - with Peters and Booth fighting it out a close 2nd - make it count.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Anger Management - Stefan Style

Another stressful morning, however, rather than taking it out on my PC, colleagues or randomly abusing people - I decided to use it to my advantage and take it out on the gym kit - after all, I pay 30 odd quid a month for the priv of a building being there. Over the last 3 years of gyming, I've done a "12 minute running/walking/run every minute program" and eventually just gets a little boring. I wanted to get a little more stamina in my legs so I could run around in football for longer, faster and not be completely worn out at the end.
Next to the 12 minute program, there was a 24 minute program, so assumed it was similar, however, 4 mins into the new program, I was well into some cross country exercise - with steep inclines, quick drops simulated by the running machine. I dont pretty well, got up to 22 mins without stopping, but needed a break as it went into its final decline - or I would have just fallen off the machine - so there you go, nearly 3 mile in 24 mins and the back of my leg muscles aching.
When I got back, I had the offer for an offsite meeting down the boozer - however, sticking to diet soft drinks, I was starving and tucking into a bacon and melted cheese sandwich at The Cape - MMM - it was nice, but didnt really feel the benifit of the exerise.
Anyhoooo, when I got back to my gaff, I closed the front door, knacking the lock - and having to spend 20 mins fixing that - obviously finding strength I never knew I had. Once I returned to my laptop to work - I felt slightly more relaxed and hardly any vains popping out of my forehead - although, they some how moved to my legs :o/

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Back to Basics : An event for one and all.

Stefan Warburton is happy to announce the following event - Back to Basics 2005. The event is aimed any male and females, young and old - and its trying to get everyone back to basics and back to nature. I now bring you, official commando day of the year 2005, that not only gives you have the opportunity to reduce the washing for a day or so, but also gives you the opportunity to walk around with a smile on your face.
Thanks to Captain Cowie, the following official graphics have been designed so you can show your support to Back to Basics 2005 - the idea is, you add this to your MSN / Yahoo / websites / blogs. You can use the comment field on this blog to leave your url, name and address to show your support. An email address has been setup if you require assistance or pledge your support to the event - once we get comments of support and encouragement, I'll post a selected number on the website.
Be one with nature again ...

Back to basics - for boys
Back to basics for girls

The official date for Back to Basics 2005 is from :

Friday 21st October -> 23rd October

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Magic Of the Cup : Attracts Glory Hunters :- SHOCK

The long awaiting 3rd qualifier round of the FA cup took place today. Leam FC were at home to Woodford United. Now, we've started going to home games (and away) this season, we've attended the FA Cup since the first round, and its fair to say, the crowds have got a little larger - the last round attracted roughly 500 people - however todays crowd doubled that, plus a little bit more. Needless to say, if the weather was a little better (ie, not pissing it down, raining cats and dogs & rain rain, go away, come back another day) and there wasnt an England International - the figures could have been even bigger. Anyhoo, we turned up just after 2 and the carpark was starting to fill up - obviously the regulars had the same idea - get in before the glory hunters turn up.

The Magic of the FA sand Cup
We went to the club shop (Shed) where they must have had the knitting machine on overtime - as there was actually club stuff you could buy - scarfs, football tops, etc etc. Myself, John and Debbie purchased a scarf each to keep the wind from our faces, the water from dripping into our tops and of course - to support the team we dearly love. BBC Coventry & Warwickshire have also obviously started on the "Leam doing well in the FA Cup" bandwagon, by sending a van over with a couple of reporters - and the local police shamming around by taking away the chairman's job of directing traffic out of the ground after the game - apart from that, all they done was watch the game, tap up two local babes and drink tea.
The game it self started off pretty quietly and even stevens for the first 10 mins, with Leam getting in early with an attempt, then a goal chalked off at the other end for a foul on our keeper. We ended up scoring, from a free kick, just as news that england had scored a pen - one of their players got sent off and they continued to push for an equaliser. Towards full time, you could see the glory hunters just leaving, only to miss a brilliant bit of play, a through ball leaving us one on one with the keeper - making it a final score of:-
Leamington 2 - Woodford United 0

Worship the sugar coated god!

The weekend - at least - and thank the lord for it. I'm ready for the weekend in so many different ways - the sleep in, the football, the shopping, and most importantly, happy friday. My wrist still knacks from football on thursday lunch time, so its making typing a little harder, so what better way than to celebrate happy friday, then to go to the chinese. We went to the chinese on park street - it used to be home to my fav restaurant in leamington - the italian - however now been sold and reopened up as a chinese. Its the first time i've been there, so I was looking forward to it - its also been a while since I've had a chinese in town, so it was a nice change. For some reason, Brian Blessed came up in conversation, so we decided to order our food, in the style of Brian Blessed, in his character form from Flash Gordon
Ahhh Flash, Fried Rice for me please

With John's starter - there came a little sugary coated character - which I then pronounced the Sugar Coated God. Debbie licked it, and turned mad, while we ate our food and drank beer. Food was very nice, and reasonably priced too - would deffo go again - only to see the Sugar Coated God - mmm praise him!
We ended up in the Jug (passing the lovely ooffy on the way down - purrr), and we were joined by Mr Ian, to make it a group of four - Rich was going to come down, but was at home tucking into a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio and keeping warm more than likely. After the 3rd bottle of wine, people being man handled while being chucked out the Jug for ;
  • drinking their own booze
  • being far too boozed up
  • being barred and still drinking in ther jug
I was feeling a little worse for wear, so was pretty pleased when they called last orders, however they decided to tell jokes on the mic - some of which a) didnt make sense, b) didnt make me laugh or c) didnt form a joke. I mumbled and talked about the sugar coated god again, then we headed home, thankfully.
I must have recieved a text to which I replied to one, then attempted to reply to the 2nd text - but due to my state - fell asleep with the phone on my bed - nice.
Anyhoooo, a nice wake up call from Scott and his missus, handing me a present - maple syrup from Canada - my own Sugar Coated God - mmmm. The offer is now out for a sexy lass to be covered in it, failing that, by the end of month, I'll bath in it myself - mmm

Friday, October 07, 2005


I was on the phone to my boss yesterday afternoon, and due to the nature of modern technology, I was able to take my phone outside onto the patio and discuss things in the future, what we can do to improve work etc. Working from home that afternoon, I decided to chill from the suit, tie and shirt and work in shorts and football top
Anyhoo, at some point during the phone call, I felt a sharp pain in my arse - but thinking nothing of it. After we finished, I sat down to feel my ass throbbing pretty badly and on inspection, it appears that I was stung on the arse. I'm currently walking around with a massive Elastoplast (r) on my ass to cushion some of the pain and keeping it clean.
Conclusion - Wasps, even, kill them all!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Early Alarm Clock and Two Goals

Today was an early start, text messages from people at none o'clock, but also started proactively - ending up in sommerfield before 9am to purchase stuff like milk, cerial, and of course chocolate. I've been pretty good food wise this week, apart from when myself and Rich ended up down the boozer for a swift one on Tuesday - yet, it was still diet coke for me, and he had Smirnoff Ice. I got to the situation where I needed something sugary, so ended up getting some malteser style chocolate - but mint chocolate balls - mmmm..

I ended up popping over to Warwick for around 12:30 to play football with the rest of the usual group - so warmed up, went in goal while others took pens - I only let 2 in - however only 4 balls went near me and/or the goal.

We kicked off with one person extra in our team, which made it a little easier - well in theory, until they decided to reduce the size of the pitch to half width of 5 aside which made it narrow and passes needed to be exact - something my skill doesnt allow. I'm a more of a 'see space on target - the blast the damn thing and hope the keeper cant get to it' After my first touch of the ball, I was chasing down a ball about to go out, but got blocked by the opposition, so ended up shoulder barging him - in reply I got a barrage of abuse (to which he said sorry to later on) - but there was true anger management needed by him at that point.

EAT MY GOAL!!! - Collapsed Lung
Our team couldnt gel correctly, mainly due to the showboating of a certain welsh student who was more mouthy than Mr Mouth from Mouthville in Mouthcity. The net (no pun intended) result was us falling behind. With about 30 mins left, we were 4-1 down, but then a bit of luck, managed to get on a throughball, hit the ball which came off the keeper, rebounded back into my path, ready to be tapped into the net. We came back strongly, getting a couple more, taking my personal tally to two - although we started to conceed due to the counter. Anyhow, on the "last goal is worth 10 goals" rule - we managed to win and I'm starting to feel stamina in my legs a little more and running around more - just need to work out how to play football and pass now - DAMN IT.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Director Warburton!

We had our house meeting lastnight - and technically, the first one i've either attended, or attended in full due to random obligations. Anyhoo, rather than having it in someones flat like its traditionally been done before, I suggested we do it down the boozer. This gave the opportunity to have a) a meeting and b) be near flowing alcohol and c) there was live music on in the jug and jester. I popped in on the way down to pick up John (debbie was going to meet us later on) and we got ourselves a pint in, only to be interupted by the comedy duo of Rich and Aido.
We had our funky meeting, we chinwagged and got to know our neighbours - made minute meetings and continued the flow of guiness on an empty stomach - then it went a little mad and myself and debbie laughed about the club Mirage and meeting Adrian (didnt turn up) for the first time - much to the bemusement of the rest of them.
Anyhoo, we went down to the bottom bar, had ribbons tied around our arms to prove that we paid 2 quid entry and listened to fantastic music - the first dude was some pianist/singer, then there was lots of funny singing about dont drink cider, then someones birthday band - to be honest, I lost interest after my 4th pint of guiness and reminded myself of injustices of the world
The End...

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Leamington Against Drugs

After walking around town today, I'm pleased that Warwickshire county council is taking the hard approach on drugs in our towns and hamlets. This sign is obviously warning street walkers and passerbys that you shouldnt do "coke"

" Whitelines - dont do em"

Saturday, October 01, 2005

It had to happen in the end!

John and Debbie invited me over to Coalville to watch the away game of Leamington's continued up and down league season. I really wasnt sure if I was going to make it, esp after we had a healthy happy friday.

I eventually woke up around 11:30 from a good night sleep, mainly down to 2 shared bottles of wine and alot of exercise, and decided, what the hell. So, anyhoo, we ended up on the way up to Coalville via the M1 - driving through the old mining village, which looks like its grown over the years, but still has the mining look to the shops and houses. All very interesting I'm very sure, however it did look a little depressing as the streets were surrounded by chavs, teenagers with kids in pushchairs etc

We parked on an estate around the corner from the Coalville ground and it was already getting pretty nippy. Some associates of John reckon that as soon as it hits the cooler end of the year, we wouldnt attend the matches, this is the telling time - but armed with scarf - and this week - boxer shorts we paid out 5 quid ( FIVE QUID!!!) to get in and I went directly to the food stand to get a burger and tea - as I hadnt eaten all day and needed defrosting.

We sat in the covered seating area - and it was out the wind, however shaded by the sun, so chillier. We conceded a goal from a freekick, and you just get the feeling that the midweek FA Cup replay going into extra time and pen's had a jaded effect on the players. Coalville definately took the heavy handed approach to the game, one of their midfielders getting a yellow card by "taking" out our right winger within 5 mins. There is something very scary when you hear the clash of leather on leather (no kinky thoughts) and studs on studs (no kinky thoughts) - always makes me wince.

John getting rather passionate and excited at the 1st shot on target
This continued til around 15 mins left in the 2nd half, when subs were made - and players were playing in their correct positions (from left back to striker - surely that has an effect on someones ability to run with the ball) and we started to pass more than one pass together - having about 3 or 4 shots on target.
All in all, a very disappointing game, as the final whistle blew, the rain started to come down - pretty much sums the game up really - dark, dank, misey.
Final Score Coalville 1 - Leam FC 0
Just a nice 60 min drive back home now - hohum

exercise! great for the soul, and so is a bottle of wine

I somewhat stupidly agreed to meet debbie down the gym after work lastnight, in an attempt to tone myself up a little more. I've already played football for 2.5 hours this week, and due to feeling a little under the weather on monday/tuesday, I never attended the gym then. Pretty impressive, even tho my shins were completely in pain and agony, I still managed to score 4 goals within 2 games, one was a 25 yarder which I managed to connect very sweetly - mmm sweets.
Anyhoooo, as the stress of Friday went on ... I was looking more and more forward to getting down the pub and getting lashed up - however, true to my word, I headed up to the gym for the agreed 4pm - only to find that debbie wasnt there - grrr.
I managed to knock another 20 seconds off my running a mile - which pleased me, then headed to the jacuzzi and sauna to chill out, still no debbie. After 5 mins in the sauna and temperatures of 110 oC+ I returned to the pool area, only to see Debbie there, laughing at my some what red face. I done some weights after the running, so swimming was a little painful - and the effects of being pushed onto my back on wednesday night was starting to toll.
Anyhoo, we discussed what healthy happy friday should be based around, and we decided, that we should give Zizzi Zizzi's another try after the last attempt of being told to come back even tho there were spaces and spare tables. We done just that, again, told that we would have to wait to up to 30 mins - even tho there were around 5 spare tables, becare they were "booked". We politely told the bloke to fuck off, then headed to Ask Pizza place, and had a lovely meal there.
After the meal and being forced not to have ice cream, John, Debbie and I headed back to the bottom of town, and the Jug and Jester, where Rich turned up to join a sociable one. Rich and John discussed the robot's name from battle of the planets (nono or something) while sporting their geeky tshirts (Ocean and Space invaders). Loads of lovely attractive students now piling in - although lastnight was about relaxing.
We returned back to Canal House Luxury apartments * to find some chav tucking into a plastic bag full of booze (Primus I think) and when he got the hint, he moved on to somewhere else. A park, or down by the canal probably - joined by all the other Leam Chavs. I had some Morgan Spiced Rum - then entered a Coma