Saturday, November 27, 2004
Friday, November 26, 2004
"So ill, cant eat food, tummy sore"
Much amusement. Anyhoo, turned up for football and carved the two teams up myself to make sure it was fair, needless to say, the big baby who moaned about me tackling was on my side - incase I accidently took his legs out again and having claims direct on my back. Managed to score one, hit the post 6 times, setup about 3 goals and we managed to win 5-3. Enjoyable really
I then get back to my gaff to find council tax demands etc etc - which has now been resolved. On top of this, I also have to pay the inland rev £2!!! On the plus side, the insurance people are going to settle with me over the stolen MG princess which was taken away from my arms and I wont have to supply the inland rev with anymore tax returns next year. Bonus!
- Steve & Rich drink themselves stupid at my gaff while Newcastle play
- 21:00 Captain Mentalish would get a taxi from Warwick to my gaff and join in the Stella-fest
- 21:45 Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy would pop around to my place and meet us
- We would all go down to the Well for CSI beers and have an early night
Needless to say, at 21:45 we couldnt get hold of Bellis, so we thought, bugger it, we'll all go get boozed up and he can find us. At some random point of the night, I see some Hobo struggle over the bridge then wiped my Stella glazed eyes and worked out it was Bellis. After convicing the bouncers that he wouldnt create any trouble we managed to get him in the pub - to which he necked 3 x Double Vodka & Cokes in 2 nanoseconds.
Anyhoo, Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy probably took the correct option by leaving at that point, we stayed (although I was drinking water) until no one could take anymore. We went via the Kebabital where Rich got his stable diet and Bellis got chips with mayo (not simon), claiming I wanted mayo although I physically hate the stuff. Apparently Bellis fell over into his chips and mayo, drank more, woke up in the morning and drove home, never to be seen by anyone again.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
We get there and my mood is at an all time weekend low, do a couple of hours work, conduct a couple of conf calls and head back to the hotel. Go out for more booze and food and abuse the local cockney sparrows. Luckily I decide to bypass the hotel bar this time and retire to bed - just as well really as I receive a nice call from Alison at 08:30 Tuesday morning telling us we can go home. One conclusion from this shambles is that the cabin boy would suit living in London - mainly due to his shambolic driving and lane swapping every 30 seconds.
My attention span was at an all time low - so it was decided when I got back to Warwick, I was going home to bed early - only for Admiral Headworth to suggest we go for a sly pint as we aint had once since thursday night. Needless to say, we had a couple in the hogs head (with some food) and moved onto pound night, where things continued, the beer continued to flow and the students turned up. It got to such a bad stage where the students were then going home because they had too much. I dont know what time I left the pub, nor do I know what time I got in ... or what happened, although I must have replied to a text message from the lovely Student Jess (puurr)
At approx 07:30 I received a call from my team leader, Alison, asking if I could go down to London to work - of course, I was a little confused that why was I being asked to work on a sunday and why the hell had I only had 4 hours kip. I kind of suggested I had better things to do - like shop, the quiz, shopping and not going to London on my weekend time off. She said she would try getting something else arranged, but called about 20 mins when I was snoozing off again. So ... the story develops that one of our customers has invokes a DR (not a test, not a site being blown up by a bomb) to fix a few problems. So, I end up having to travel down with Cabin Boy Woods where we manage to check into a swanky hotel, park the car and make our way to the building where we are to be working. In parallel, two guys from liverpool are supposed to be coming down to fix their side of the issue - but are no where to be seen - being tired, annoyed and a little bemused - the answer was public house, sunday lunch and decent football. What I got was a room full of cheeky cockney sparrows, a crap "chicken" burger and Birmingham v Blackburn - so with my mood spiralling out of control, we wander back to the building to where the guys have turned up. After 50 mins of faffing around with equipment, we fix our side of the deal, and let the 2 scousers kick off a restore - to which I suggested going back to the hotel. All sounds a little dull, techie and dweebie at this point and it doesnt get much better - until I convinces the cabin boy to get sorted as we were going to paint the town red and risk getting paged out with things going tits up.
Well, the area we were staying in - was the finacial side of London - so Sunday night, not exactly great for talent - so bugger than, lets get my bad mood flooded with stella .... So after drinking nigh on 2 bottles of wine myself, 2 pints of carling, then 2 shots - I decided it was probably best if I retired for the night, but being unable to focus, I had to stay up for 2 hours to sober up enough to stop the room spinning.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Anyhoo, we started well, winning the first round, it started to get hazy for a while until we managed to win the jackpot - £69 between 6 of us ... fantastic - at least the students can eat this month.
Things got alittle hazy when Rich slid off as he had a 9.30am meeting with a customer - so I continued to drink with the students, who decided to slid off at some early hour - Students these days hey! they dont know the meaning of the word. The usual ended up happening, by staying after hours having a couple of pints. Points from the night that are starting to be recalled;
- Playing balloon football with Chris (getting covered with beer and water in the meantime)
- Waking up with to massive inflatable yellow hands
- Waking up wearing a blue tshirt with "moose" written on it
- Declaring I would be working at the Well on Monday night
After the game ... more Armchair Manager tactics were discussed via SMS with Captain Mike
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Upstanding member of the community and not a Hooligan (pictured centre)
If you have spare time - I would suggest going to see them ... good laugh and all to a good cause.
Friday, November 12, 2004
I admit, its been an eye opener this week, not only have i had to work out how to get to work without car, but also ensure I have enough cash in my pockets to do so. I've also had to master the art, of getting a lift when I can, rather than standing at the bus stop in the cold, listening to chavs/pikeys/crazies talk. One of the good things on the bus server is they have a sign saying "Get fit, get off a stop early and walk". Great idea ... however;
- I pay £2.90 return - If I wanted to get off a stop earlier - I would pay less
- Its cold - that extra 3 mins of natural crazy/chav/pikey body heat around you is important
- Sometimes it takes 20 mins to fight for a seat - why give it up to a lazy.
Anyhoo, as I have today off, we decided lastnight to disembark a couple of stops earlier, and have a couple of pints to celebrate the "Rich and Steve cause Random in NY" tour. So, after 7 pints, we visit the kebabital where I'm told that it wasnt the finest Kebab the captain has ever tasted.
To conclude ... Buses can be good and bad (mostly at the same time)
Thursday, November 11, 2004
- After the DR test - myself and Mr Chester (and his wife) will travel from DC to NY
- Captain Rich will fly from UK to NY and meet me
- Spend a couple of days faffing around with yanks
- Fly back to UK
All sounds simple ... NO ... you wouldnt believe the shambles I had to deal with to coordinate flights etc. Anyhow ... after the captain was stuttering and pondering around over should he or shouldnt press the "confirm" button for the tickets. Needless to say, its all sorted - ish - with the added complexity of;
- Steve flys back to Heathrow
- Rich flys back to Birmingham via Dublin
- Both flights land within 30 mins of each other at different airports
- Rich still wants to go see the mighty Chesterfield 6 hours after jetting around the world.
Needless to say, Steve & Rich in leamington is just about bareable, Steve and Rich in New York, with loads of americas to take the piss out of .... ooh, so many people, so little time!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
- Hire a car
- get a train
both of which will encur costs to the unknown. I had also started to look forward to seeing my sister (Gillian) my mum and dad, and had actually planned a hell of alot of the time. I had taken 2 days off from work to do the trip coz I've felt bad about not seeing them since April and now its all gone to shit. To conclude;
- What ever happens, Newcastle v Man U will be the wrong result, if I go - we will loose, if I dont - we will host the game of the century
- Car theives are lower than the low - personally, should have as many car keys shoved up their arses until they cry like children
- Winlaton's pubs, will have to wait to be photographed until Xmas
- Although I respect Blair and the improvements he's making to the UK - how can someone have 3 crime numbers to the same car, within a 100metre radius, not have Pikes/Chavs/Twats protected against him
- Leamington is going down in my estimation and feel safer in Winlaton ( one of the hardest/roughest towns in the North East)
- Friends really become friends when the chips are down and you need cheering up
- Someone up there has decided that they will bloke any kind of semi attraction between me and Pippa
- The Kebabital is never your friend, no matter how many Stella's you have
- THE person you want and really really want to be with, always decides its just not cricket and puts a spanner into your perfect engine RE:book
Anyhoo, I have to get up early to grab a bus - to get in for 9am ...
PS :- anyhow seeing VX52 DHL on the streets and me not driving - you know who to call ( Hint : Not ghostbusters)
- car insurance
- road tax
- random other get the environment healthy tax's
for the privvies of having to ride the bus and not having a say in the service.
Anyhoo, after the local jibs and jibes - we get to work to more jibs and jibes from colleagues basically saying :-
"Have you been to see a car show room", "wheres your car?" and "why get the bus into work when you can drive your car" blah blah blah... to which ....
"At the hands of life - stinkin' car thief, thats my concept of sin"
Needless to say, on an already bad morning trying / struggling to get out of bed, I walked up to the main pavement to find, and I wager - not many people have felt this confusion, my car missing. At first, I thought it was me, at second, I thought it was me then resorted to top quality neighbour Debbie to double check that I hadnt gone mad, and that the car was just not there. After minutes of poking at a spot were a 4x4 was now parked (no, i'm not david blaine and hadnt made a convertable into a 4x4) we decided;
- I'd either parked it else where, or
- it had been TWOC'd
- infact I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep
after ensuring I hadnt parked it 2 metres away, I decided to phone the police who;
- asked if i had parked it else where
- basically said it had been TWOC'd
- asked if I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep
After a motivational talk with the police, I decided to call comrad headworth for some support - who decided I was on a piss take and winding him up. After 20 minutes of convincing him other wise we ....
Monday, November 08, 2004
Anyhoo, wandered into work at 9am for a funky management call, to lots of "Newcastle are rubbish", "Haway the lads" and "alreet pet" comments from so called profressional management which set the scene for the rest of the day. Not happy with listening to my beloved team loose to a second rate second division team, I then managed to get Newcastle -v- Man Utd tickets for me and the lovely Philippa, next weekend.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
I did feel like a little bit of a session, but tried to keep the calm - mainly because John and Debbie together tends to lead me astray - such a shy lad that I am. While we were in the lounge, I noticed one of the lasses who plays football with us on Wednesday - she's lush ... but was eating with a friend, so decided to leave it (and being shy)
After the Lounge and lack of TV for Saturday football, I suggested going to the Hogs Head. We chitchatted, then moved to the Star and Garter, to which we went to Macy's then onto the Sozzled Sausage. Finally onto the bowling green for more beverages. When we get there, there was a fantastic looking lass, someone who is completely out of my league (you know when you wont even get a look in). I've noticed her around ages ago and developed a massive crush. Turns out, the injustice of sexy birds took effect, Nice lass + Meat head = relationship - nevermind hey?!?
Anyhoo, John and Debbie were kind enough to go get Kebab's and Chips for us, and Chang beer. Now, I remember getting a couple of text's from the lovely Jess, but cant remember replying - one of them things, but apparently I did. So we play some dodgy Donkey Kong Konga on my Gamecube, watch the Simpsons that John had recorded from Friday night. To which point, things get a little fuzzy - Ive started to remember (thanks mainly to Debbie reminding me)
- I declared myself as President of the Canal House (declaring John as vice-president and Debbie head of entertainment)
- Loosing my trainers and finding them at the top of a step ladder
- having my crotch hoovered
- and having the use of my legs taken away due to alcohol abuse.
So I wake up on Sunday morning, assuming I'm going to feel like toss, as per Friday - strangely enough, feeling pretty OK - reports are that so do John and Debbie.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Toby, pictured centre with J20 sticker - pictured slightly leftAnyhoo ... the night gets a little stranger by the minute, and people decide they are gonna bugger off home (01:05), yet, I, with still half a pint left, decide to stay. I ended up talking to bar staff and regulars while slightly supping my pint. I even had the bollocks to ask a lass out for a drink, but she was to pissed to arrange owt - typical - so let that go. Moment of pure magic, I ask Andy if I can buy a Stella to wash down the Carling - to which gives me a free bottle. Fantastic - pure CSI'ing it, or what. Needless to say, I've had about 3 hours kip, I had to attend a management meeting at 09:00 this morning, then feel like shit all day. Its now 18:30 and still feel dodgy as a kebabital meal.
Good Luck Tobs!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
It gets to Wednesday, I'm still feeling a little shitty, low in confidence etc etc - and time for football - one of the highlights of my week. Over the last 6 months, ive taken alot of stress on at work, and its shown in my performance on the pitch and I expected a repeat performance tonight to be truthful.
Anyhoo, turns out I scored three, set up many and played decently well all game and we won. Thats 7 in two weeks, which is good going - esp being labelled "fucking shite at football", by some doncaster student at work. Suprised really, watching doncaster play week in, week out - you would have thought it would be entertaining watching some unfit idiots run around a pitch - oh, we're talking doncaster again.
Worked, struggled to get out of bed after the Stella from the night before. After the post-bolton-v-newcastle-match, I got a text message from one of my dearest and oldest friends Pippa. She lives in Newcastle, I've been mates with her since the 2nd year at comp (no i didnt wear shorts and a cap), she's a lovely lass and my mother has her heart set on me and Pippa getting it together. Although being a very close friend, she is very attractive, albeit, having two cats and smelling of cat wee. Anyhoo - after Newcastle could barely get out of our own half, Pip asked if we could get tickets to Newcastle -v- Man U - so god knows what kind of thrashing we'll get. So I thought I would make a long weekend of it, arrange to meet friends and family etc.
Struggling to get more than 10,000 steps with my Walker's walk-o-meter - so much so, I spent 10 mins jogging on the spot to get 5,000 steps. Also involves in a dragging day which resulted in me going home, getting ear ache from my mother about not going up over the weekend and watching Teachers (on Channel 4).
Trying to work out what I can do for Xmas and New Year - managed to get some kind of schedule in place
Week before Xmas = Travel to Newcastle
Xmas in Newcastle & Faff around
New Year = In Leam - Next door for fancy dress party - theme yet to be decided, although Kids Film and TV characters seems to be a semi fav. If so, I'm going as Jamie from Jamie and his Magic Torch.
Then 5th Jan = Fly out to Washington (DC - not Tyne and Wear), working out there for 5 days
Football day, and I'm also struggling to get towards 10,000 steps today - and I class myself as a semi healthy guys (minus the chips, stella and lack of exercise) - I am very tempted to wear my walk-o-meter tonight to see how many steps I do during football. Probably not many as I hand around on the right wing and wait for the ball to be punted at me. Current step level = 1733
Monday, November 01, 2004
Anyhoo, to cap off my great mood, Newcastle lost 2-1 to the 2 bob team called Bolton - scrappy game and we deserved at least 1 point out of it. As the Stella flowed, Rich shows me his Xbox and we played Outrun2. I've never played it, boozed up on Stella and in a bad mood - I managed to equal Rich's best performance, and beating his best time on one of the timetrials - which improved his mood. After sinking alot of Stella, I started to get the munchies, so it was decided Pizza is a good option - which it was.
- I achieved 6611 steps
- Newcastle are a fab team, bolton are cheating scum
- 6 stella's is not a quiet night
- 10 quid of Stella and a Pizza isnt CSI
- Rich is very bad at videogames.