- 4942 steps achieved today with my Walker's Walk-o-meter
- The Hollywood version of "Planet of the Apes" is wank
- The kebabital doesnt have lovely nurses in sexy uniforms
- Grown men in nurses uniforms - not attractive - Halloween or not
- "a couple of beers" with Rich, isnt a couple of beers
- coming home to a rave, after an all day session, isnt the best thing in the world!
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Anyhoo, it appears that Rich had a skin full, and attended the Kebabital before being sick and get a reply from my voice mail I left him, strangely enough asking if I wanted to go for a quick beverage, "Just a quiet couple, not stopping all afternoon, got chops in my bag and dont want them to go off". So, after a Hoegaarden, Guiness (x7) & Carling - taking part in Palace v Brum, Watching ALL of Saturdays normal fixtures, Blackburn v Liverpool - AND the fact that we were taking part in conversation with Robin's Well's resident Simpleton - it was time to go home.
Not before time, Rich enters the Kebabital - Ironic
Friday, October 29, 2004
We turn up to the well and they have live (Stupid, Stupid, Stupid and Steve) music on, it was quite touching, although being punk/rock stuff, they had a minute silence for ace, but dead, John Peel. To get into this section of the pub, you had to pay £1.50 - although not having any change, it was decided by one of the guys on the door, I could go in for free - only if I complete one of his dares. Turns out, this dare is to have a rubber stamp covered in ink, imprinted on my forehead. All good and well, perfect CSI, until I remembered a) Ink dries pretty quickly b) I had to be at work for meetings and c) getting as near to blind drunk doesnt help you remember its on your forehead.
Other fantastic parts of the night;
- Rich telling the lovely Helen that he beat me in a pool game, winning 70 quid from me
- Rich telling the lovely Helen that he was a regional pool champion (of Headworthshire)
- Rich telling the lovely Helen the Kebabital story - very very incorrectly
- Steve and Rich getting the fuzzy face gimp ID'd - just coz he was tapping off with the lovely Helen
- Winding up Vicky up about Jesus and God (being dead) and nearly making her cry (due to her laughing)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Anyhoo, there is this attractive lass who turns up to football, seems pretty canny, and I thought she seems nice, so will do some digging around. Unfortunately my sources conclude that she's seeing someone - twat on a stick!
Nevermind, starting to get braver!
Delia Smith - might make a mean roast - but your team is cack in the Carling Cup
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
(Steve Wharton, pictured centre - Nice Jumper, pictured bottom)
Monday, October 25, 2004
Now, I've done this a couple of times and know how to wing it, but Neil was insistant on him going up, though Andy (manager of the Well) stopped him and allowed me to go up. After bending a couple of the rules, like;
- Having more than a minute
- The Bar dude (chris) helping me pour pints
- People at the bar helping me to pour pints
So we ended up with 15 pints of random drinks, and comments from Andy like, "You'll never drink in this pub again" etc etc
We continued to drink and drink and drink, until we ran out of the beer - and purchased more.
Anyhoo, to cut a long story short, the 2nd half was thrilling, exciting and everything you would expect from the entertainers. We won 4-3, scoring the winner in the last 60 seconds of injury time. To conclude - Newcastle were brill, Man City were relegation dog fodder.
To conclude this, John became one with the geordie nation by playing Hovercraft-Wars on the canal - I won!
Updated, thanks to Pickford being picky
Sunday, October 24, 2004
- Breaking the largest Oracle database in the world - belonging to o2
- Breaking a friends arm/hand/wrist (wrist is what he broke) while playing football
- Breaking IBM's Ebusiness Division
- Leading next door astray
This is all starting to get a little tiring ... I mean point one - wasnt my fault, people shouldnt design systems so big. Point 2 - I was at the opposite end of the pitch - about to score a goal when it happened. Point three - OK ... not my fault - but I'll take the wrap for it. Finally point 4, let me allow you into a little secret. John and Debbie like to have a little drink, John and Debbie like to have a large drink and finally John and Debbie would drink until the cows come home. Poor John has been feeling really ill lately (well - a gay sniffle) - so I thought Friday, I'm off Monday and Tuesday - they are both off next week - so why not enjoy a sociable drink - why not, its their second fav hobbie (their 1st is stamp collecting). So suggested after work beers - little something to eat, chitchat, and allow me to take in the local talent. Needless to say, if anyone egg'd on anyone, it was Debbie from next door, forcing me to drink far to much, make MSN faces in pubs and force me to ask for drinks at a reduced rate. To conclude, if Debbie wants to accuse me of asking them out to be friendly - THEN GUILTY!!!! However, there are always two sides to a story, mine being the innocent one - then she needs to be locked up in a beer cell and the key thrown away.
I dont think it helped matters when John was begging me to not take them out for beer tonight, because he couldnt take anymore
Saturday, October 23, 2004
In true big brother style,
Day 1. Newcastle United (the greatest football team in the World - just ask Mike) were playing some two bob greek team away from home - so wonderful idea of getting Stella in, invite Rich around - enjoy the game and then potentially pop down to our local public house for last orders. Well, infact, I bought quite alot of booze in, and I think it was a mental challenge that we had to ensure it was all finished - just incase it went off. Anyhooo, Newcastle beat the Greek side 1-0 - Shearer scoring a lovely penalty. Once that was completed, we decided to be sad, and play PS2 game - Gauntlet Dark Legacy - was fun - we blinked and it was 00:45.
After a long bad week of breaking things - namely the company, Gav's wrist and my sanity, I thought what could be better - than a couple of drinks after work with my fab neighbours, John and Debbie. So give John a lift home (mainly coz he's being gay about a small cold he has) get changed and knock on their door. Off to TJs for cocktails at 5pm - always a bad sign to the night (although I did see a foxy lass who turns up and plays football), we then moved onto the Jug where Laura gay'd on about how hungry she was - then John decided to gay up with Laura and push me and Debbie into having a Curry and Millenium-mie. Managed to squeeze a couple of swift ones in the Well - being told by some crazy that I'm drunk when in fact this mentalist ( **** [ Edited due to legal action from Rich ] is what Rich likes to call them) who is bouncing of the 4 walls in the pub.
Anyhoo ... we bumped into a sexy lass who studies in Leeds (who is down this weekend), made our excuses and went to the Avenue - which I've never been too before - had a couple of swifty ones there. Then it went all to shit - I tried - I really did try. John and Debbie invited me in for some lovely malt whiskey. After the second glass, the room was spinning and my throat was hotter than a hotair balloon - in Hell. We listened to some dodgy version of "our tune" on vinyl which confused me a tad, so thought it best to go home and fall into a Carling/Whiskey induced coma.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Needless to say, this was short lived when Gav went down in a heap on the ground clutching his arm. After inspection by every "arm chair doctor" on the pitch, it was decided he'd broken his wrist and would have to be taken to A&E. During this "arm chair surgery" Gav was then hit accidently by three footballs which made me laugh when he told me later on that night. Anyhoo, Gav got carted off in the Ambulance and Mike kindly went with him, leaving the rest of us concerned, but not concerned enough to continue football. At which point, the opposition team decided to step up a gear, and we lost (although I did score a 2nd for the night)
After football, I thought I should go check on Gav as I knew he and Mike had left their cars at the football gaff and thought I could help out. So kitted in shorts, long sleave football shirt and football boots walked into A&E at Warwick Hospital greated by many bemused looks. Got sent in different directions then managed to find Gav on a top quality trolly. He was about to go for an Xray, and told to go sit with Mike. After amusing stories of life up north, the gentlemans clubs and how newcastle united are going to win zillions of trophies this season, Gav gets back.
15 mins later - a nurse comes in, says yup - you've broken it (see, "arm chair doctors" does work) shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Five mins later, another nurse comes in, shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Anyhoo, at which point myself and Mike sort out the cars and drop poor Gavs night stuff over as apparently he has to have his arm frozen and pulled back into position - Lush.
Still, I scored two goals!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sunday, October 17, 2004
I am a music man, I come from far away! I play the bea-bea-bea-anjo!
Both, you'll agree, fantastic purchases.
She downed two x blue WKD in approx 7 seconds in total ... then got a little sick - she then got offended at the roast - I think it looks nice and tasty.
Anyhoo, we marched on into town, had a couple more pints, then people sifted off. I was going to go to Sugar, however started feeling a little yuk (Gay and Queer by others) so mooched off home (11:34). Recieved random text messages from John and Debbie through out the night reminding me of what I'm missing.
Time Check : 15:01 - John in Bed, Steve about to go watch Charlton - v - Newcastle.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Bad Dude: Tell us everything! Everything!
Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Strange but true .. made me laugh - maybe you need to watch the film!
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Five, yes, Five different kinds of fish fingers!! Im my day, it was breaded or battered - now the choices are endless!
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Store Street :
For those who are stalking me ... (very few) my family dont live there anymore
(and Man U games - although they'll change the words - dirty mancs
Oh, me lads,
You should have seen us coming,
Fastest team in the League,
Just to see us winning,
All the lads and lasses,
With smiles upon their faces,
Walking down the Warwick Road,
To see Matt Busby's aces.
- Ironic - Pick a song from 100 miles away, twist it and force it for their own - TWATS)
Become northern - its great!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
If other Steve Wharton's would like to email me ... you're more than welcome too ... Lets have a huddle! If you are a Steve Wharton, and know others, or if you know a Steve Wharton that hasnt been documented ... feel free to contact me, or them ... in order to bring the world to rights
Sunday, October 10, 2004
I say, ban conkers;
- to protect my masters of the conker-verse title
- to solve thousands of kids being deformed by such a weapon
* Warning - no children were harmed in the making of this blog entry
Anyhow, to conclude, I am Masters of the Conkers. From there it went down hill, we ended up in Pig and Whistle (?), then Millenium Balti - then Jug for final Beers.
Total Drinkinking time = 9.5 hours (one Major Conker Championship)
Friday, October 08, 2004
if you have a random world record you want to set, and then email;
I think I've scared Mike tho, I think he thinks that I'm stalking him and will probably get hand delivered a restraining order by the courts
As the night moved on, more and more CSI beverages were taken aboard the good ship Wharton, to where we arrived at the Well. Also bumped into the lass with the nicest smile and personality in the world ... she was working in M&S before summer, then disappeared - now appears that she's seeing a gonk - perfick
After this, myself, Debbie and Gav managed to talk ourselves into going to Mirage for boogie & more beverage. Noticed a nice looking lass that I saw a couple of weeks, typical thing - I bottled talking to her - fantastic.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Friday, Rich came around after work, we played Burnout 3 and drank vr much stella - then went out to the pub for a couple of pints. Saw Helen, with friends (including fuzzy headed gimp)
Saturday, slept, mainly because of friday night and loosing approx 3 hours of my life - spent 40 quid on weekly shopping, including strawberry cheesecake icecream, beer, etc etc. Watched James Bond, and Mike Bassett - England Manager - had a couple of bottles of Peroni - fell asleep
Sunday - slept, recieved parental phone call - had sunday lunch, listed to newcastle draw 2-2 with birmingham. Went to quiz, managed (some how) to come 2nd and pull off a massive coup by winning 20 quid each (including Debbie, John and Rich) - Fantastic
Mental Note to self - Rich went to Kebabital - wont see him for 3 days!