Things are about to get even more creepier - believe me - and its all down to John
Friday, December 31, 2004
Things are about to get even more creepier - believe me - and its all down to John
Thursday, December 30, 2004
- Where's my Carling Rich ?
Anyhoo, it turned out to be a good game, entertaining and more importantly - passionate and Newcastle playing for a little bit of pride for a change. Yea yea, we have Shearer injured, Kluivert out, blah blah, its still not excuse for people raking in 20/30K a week for being scared of a ball. Turns out that a) we should have a pen due to some dodgy refereeing and b) arsenal's only goal was spawny if not a little brilliant.
After refusing a lockin (Rich is off swanning around Europe over New Year and had a flight at 8am) we ended up in the Kebabital and bumped into JT (Dirty Mackem scum - but very nice bloke - even after the "Dont tell Mrs T - but Newcastle are a massive team compared to Sunderland" convo at his 30th) who decided to rip into my new funky jumper I purchased from GAP that day - THANKS!
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
Sunday, December 19, 2004
However, one small problem at the moment, I dont have a car - so the only things I can think are;
- Push bike
- Sinclair C5
- Buy a car when insurance comes through
- Hire the "66" bus for a weekend as a laugh.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
ANYHOO - here comes the complication / other hand to the story. Someone I've basically copped off with many times in the past (and friend) - well, we managed to do it again at an IT related xmas do. It was a corner of the pub/club situation, but she's seeing someone. I know she likes me, and I do think sometimes there could be a future of it. Anyhow, she basically told me I need to go away and think about stuff - what do I want, etc etc etc.
So what do you do when you close your eyes and think about someone constantly, think of their smile and stand still until that image leaves your mind (sometimes 5 mins until your grin goes). There is no pressure nor is there any stress, nor is there any kind of advertisement needed. Do you go for the safety and know that if you go for the latter, you are safe - but risk missing out on something that would be and will be so great
I know what I want, I know who I want - Its a case of if she wants the same thing, she wants someone she can trust, and maybe help her through alot of gubbins
Deep huh ?
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It might be because, Woolworths stock Xmas Festive Chocolate packs in August, it might be because you can book your Xmas Lunch at Hogs Head in Sept - its just boring.
On the other side, I'm really looking forward to seeing my folks again.
Alison (my team leader) also offered me her spare car as her boyfriend and she are swanning off to Mainland Europe snowboarding. However, the added complication is that she's in India and her boyfriend is in Spain at the moment and dont return til Tuesday.
Anyhoo, decided to call my mother up after I got in from football - just to hear a friendly voice (explained in the above) - of course, she rants on how its close to xmas and I need a fall back plan - basically everything you dont want to hear, because you know its true - and you're bricking your pants about it.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Anyhoo, after huge amounts of alcohol we stumbled back - although unlike the previous times, managed to avoid next doors "come in and have a quick one - Warning : You will stay til 03:45 drinking & singing Gold at the top of your voice very very badly" offer - and somehow got into bed around 01:00.
No news on insurance payout for the car - god damn it! Gonna give them a nice call tomorrow to chase them up, but been looking at the rather nice looking Fiesta Zetec S which isnt out til Jan 8th. Once again, I will be rallying around Leamington (hello john) like I used to in my Rover 25 and Ford Ka - lush
Saturday, December 04, 2004
We retire back to John and Debbie's for (well me, water - coz I could barely talk) drinks and singstar 2 - of which I end up loosing against someone singing Gold - arse.
I woke up, rolled out of bed and rolled down to the Well to watch Chelsea v Newcastle - Tom and Abbi joined me, and remotely assisting in Managerial Armchair strategy was Geordie Mike. Of course, we end up loosing 4-0 - which improved my mood *.
I wandered into town, to be surrounded by shoppers who just stop for no reason - this pissed me off, so popped into Fop and purchased "Who Killed the Zutons" - which by all accounts is a great album.
Tonight, we're going to the grand opening of the Lock Dock and Barrel (just over the road) - hopefully a short one tonight tho
Friday, December 03, 2004
- I wouldnt need to buy any beers or any food
- I had to behave myself and not call anyone a "shambles"
- Be polite, not use my typical geordie charm of swearing constantly
- Not to get too boozed up, as my drinking mate Captain Rich and I tend to lead each other astray.
So, Rich and I walk up into town to the Lounge to be faced with - "Put any drinks on tab 100 - thats 100". Myself and Rich just grinned from ear to ear with a licence to complete alcohol abuse, but still held back. Next thing I know ... I hear one of the other techies calling the customer a "shambles", of course this raised an internal giggle, but no - behaved myself. After 2 or 3 pints there, we went to the lovely Five Rivers (a posh curry place - "If I wanted a curry, I would go after 8 pints, expect dodgy wallpaper and pay 12 quid for 3 courses"). The table wasnt ready so we went to the lovely Jug and Jester. At this point Bob [ Rich's Team Leader ] (his dad was in hospital last week with a heart attack - so willing myself and Rich in with the details) decides to contantly talk, get boozed up and tell the lovely tale of how he went to ASDA and purchased a full outfit for 40 quid. Funny the first time ... after the 8th - no amount of Stella can help you.
Anyhoo, we ended up back at the Five Rivers, get some Moet down our necks, and order some food. It turns out (baring in mind I was sandwiched between the two customers) that Catherine doesnt like spicy food, so in Rich's wisdom hands her the plate of Spicy Starters - "You like kebab dont you? Surely you like kebab". I dont know why, but I found this funny (ok, maybe the amount of booze I had on an empty stomach) - so funny in fact I started crying with laughter. To which, the customers were a little concerned incase I was choking. Anyhoo, after some tiger beer and more moet, they all decide to go clubbing - myself and Rich were in a little bit of a state - so slipped off to the Well for a sly one, without really saying goodbye or thanks. Had a pint in the well to the point I could barely talk or stand and tried tapping up the lovely, sexy and cute Emma
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Friday, November 26, 2004
"So ill, cant eat food, tummy sore"
Much amusement. Anyhoo, turned up for football and carved the two teams up myself to make sure it was fair, needless to say, the big baby who moaned about me tackling was on my side - incase I accidently took his legs out again and having claims direct on my back. Managed to score one, hit the post 6 times, setup about 3 goals and we managed to win 5-3. Enjoyable really
I then get back to my gaff to find council tax demands etc etc - which has now been resolved. On top of this, I also have to pay the inland rev £2!!! On the plus side, the insurance people are going to settle with me over the stolen MG princess which was taken away from my arms and I wont have to supply the inland rev with anymore tax returns next year. Bonus!
- Steve & Rich drink themselves stupid at my gaff while Newcastle play
- 21:00 Captain Mentalish would get a taxi from Warwick to my gaff and join in the Stella-fest
- 21:45 Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy would pop around to my place and meet us
- We would all go down to the Well for CSI beers and have an early night
Needless to say, at 21:45 we couldnt get hold of Bellis, so we thought, bugger it, we'll all go get boozed up and he can find us. At some random point of the night, I see some Hobo struggle over the bridge then wiped my Stella glazed eyes and worked out it was Bellis. After convicing the bouncers that he wouldnt create any trouble we managed to get him in the pub - to which he necked 3 x Double Vodka & Cokes in 2 nanoseconds.
Anyhoo, Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy probably took the correct option by leaving at that point, we stayed (although I was drinking water) until no one could take anymore. We went via the Kebabital where Rich got his stable diet and Bellis got chips with mayo (not simon), claiming I wanted mayo although I physically hate the stuff. Apparently Bellis fell over into his chips and mayo, drank more, woke up in the morning and drove home, never to be seen by anyone again.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
We get there and my mood is at an all time weekend low, do a couple of hours work, conduct a couple of conf calls and head back to the hotel. Go out for more booze and food and abuse the local cockney sparrows. Luckily I decide to bypass the hotel bar this time and retire to bed - just as well really as I receive a nice call from Alison at 08:30 Tuesday morning telling us we can go home. One conclusion from this shambles is that the cabin boy would suit living in London - mainly due to his shambolic driving and lane swapping every 30 seconds.
My attention span was at an all time low - so it was decided when I got back to Warwick, I was going home to bed early - only for Admiral Headworth to suggest we go for a sly pint as we aint had once since thursday night. Needless to say, we had a couple in the hogs head (with some food) and moved onto pound night, where things continued, the beer continued to flow and the students turned up. It got to such a bad stage where the students were then going home because they had too much. I dont know what time I left the pub, nor do I know what time I got in ... or what happened, although I must have replied to a text message from the lovely Student Jess (puurr)
At approx 07:30 I received a call from my team leader, Alison, asking if I could go down to London to work - of course, I was a little confused that why was I being asked to work on a sunday and why the hell had I only had 4 hours kip. I kind of suggested I had better things to do - like shop, the quiz, shopping and not going to London on my weekend time off. She said she would try getting something else arranged, but called about 20 mins when I was snoozing off again. So ... the story develops that one of our customers has invokes a DR (not a test, not a site being blown up by a bomb) to fix a few problems. So, I end up having to travel down with Cabin Boy Woods where we manage to check into a swanky hotel, park the car and make our way to the building where we are to be working. In parallel, two guys from liverpool are supposed to be coming down to fix their side of the issue - but are no where to be seen - being tired, annoyed and a little bemused - the answer was public house, sunday lunch and decent football. What I got was a room full of cheeky cockney sparrows, a crap "chicken" burger and Birmingham v Blackburn - so with my mood spiralling out of control, we wander back to the building to where the guys have turned up. After 50 mins of faffing around with equipment, we fix our side of the deal, and let the 2 scousers kick off a restore - to which I suggested going back to the hotel. All sounds a little dull, techie and dweebie at this point and it doesnt get much better - until I convinces the cabin boy to get sorted as we were going to paint the town red and risk getting paged out with things going tits up.
Well, the area we were staying in - was the finacial side of London - so Sunday night, not exactly great for talent - so bugger than, lets get my bad mood flooded with stella .... So after drinking nigh on 2 bottles of wine myself, 2 pints of carling, then 2 shots - I decided it was probably best if I retired for the night, but being unable to focus, I had to stay up for 2 hours to sober up enough to stop the room spinning.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Anyhoo, we started well, winning the first round, it started to get hazy for a while until we managed to win the jackpot - £69 between 6 of us ... fantastic - at least the students can eat this month.
Things got alittle hazy when Rich slid off as he had a 9.30am meeting with a customer - so I continued to drink with the students, who decided to slid off at some early hour - Students these days hey! they dont know the meaning of the word. The usual ended up happening, by staying after hours having a couple of pints. Points from the night that are starting to be recalled;
- Playing balloon football with Chris (getting covered with beer and water in the meantime)
- Waking up with to massive inflatable yellow hands
- Waking up wearing a blue tshirt with "moose" written on it
- Declaring I would be working at the Well on Monday night
After the game ... more Armchair Manager tactics were discussed via SMS with Captain Mike
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Upstanding member of the community and not a Hooligan (pictured centre)
If you have spare time - I would suggest going to see them ... good laugh and all to a good cause.
Friday, November 12, 2004
I admit, its been an eye opener this week, not only have i had to work out how to get to work without car, but also ensure I have enough cash in my pockets to do so. I've also had to master the art, of getting a lift when I can, rather than standing at the bus stop in the cold, listening to chavs/pikeys/crazies talk. One of the good things on the bus server is they have a sign saying "Get fit, get off a stop early and walk". Great idea ... however;
- I pay £2.90 return - If I wanted to get off a stop earlier - I would pay less
- Its cold - that extra 3 mins of natural crazy/chav/pikey body heat around you is important
- Sometimes it takes 20 mins to fight for a seat - why give it up to a lazy.
Anyhoo, as I have today off, we decided lastnight to disembark a couple of stops earlier, and have a couple of pints to celebrate the "Rich and Steve cause Random in NY" tour. So, after 7 pints, we visit the kebabital where I'm told that it wasnt the finest Kebab the captain has ever tasted.
To conclude ... Buses can be good and bad (mostly at the same time)
Thursday, November 11, 2004
- After the DR test - myself and Mr Chester (and his wife) will travel from DC to NY
- Captain Rich will fly from UK to NY and meet me
- Spend a couple of days faffing around with yanks
- Fly back to UK
All sounds simple ... NO ... you wouldnt believe the shambles I had to deal with to coordinate flights etc. Anyhow ... after the captain was stuttering and pondering around over should he or shouldnt press the "confirm" button for the tickets. Needless to say, its all sorted - ish - with the added complexity of;
- Steve flys back to Heathrow
- Rich flys back to Birmingham via Dublin
- Both flights land within 30 mins of each other at different airports
- Rich still wants to go see the mighty Chesterfield 6 hours after jetting around the world.
Needless to say, Steve & Rich in leamington is just about bareable, Steve and Rich in New York, with loads of americas to take the piss out of .... ooh, so many people, so little time!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
- Hire a car
- get a train
both of which will encur costs to the unknown. I had also started to look forward to seeing my sister (Gillian) my mum and dad, and had actually planned a hell of alot of the time. I had taken 2 days off from work to do the trip coz I've felt bad about not seeing them since April and now its all gone to shit. To conclude;
- What ever happens, Newcastle v Man U will be the wrong result, if I go - we will loose, if I dont - we will host the game of the century
- Car theives are lower than the low - personally, should have as many car keys shoved up their arses until they cry like children
- Winlaton's pubs, will have to wait to be photographed until Xmas
- Although I respect Blair and the improvements he's making to the UK - how can someone have 3 crime numbers to the same car, within a 100metre radius, not have Pikes/Chavs/Twats protected against him
- Leamington is going down in my estimation and feel safer in Winlaton ( one of the hardest/roughest towns in the North East)
- Friends really become friends when the chips are down and you need cheering up
- Someone up there has decided that they will bloke any kind of semi attraction between me and Pippa
- The Kebabital is never your friend, no matter how many Stella's you have
- THE person you want and really really want to be with, always decides its just not cricket and puts a spanner into your perfect engine RE:book
Anyhoo, I have to get up early to grab a bus - to get in for 9am ...
PS :- anyhow seeing VX52 DHL on the streets and me not driving - you know who to call ( Hint : Not ghostbusters)
- car insurance
- road tax
- random other get the environment healthy tax's
for the privvies of having to ride the bus and not having a say in the service.
Anyhoo, after the local jibs and jibes - we get to work to more jibs and jibes from colleagues basically saying :-
"Have you been to see a car show room", "wheres your car?" and "why get the bus into work when you can drive your car" blah blah blah... to which ....
"At the hands of life - stinkin' car thief, thats my concept of sin"
Needless to say, on an already bad morning trying / struggling to get out of bed, I walked up to the main pavement to find, and I wager - not many people have felt this confusion, my car missing. At first, I thought it was me, at second, I thought it was me then resorted to top quality neighbour Debbie to double check that I hadnt gone mad, and that the car was just not there. After minutes of poking at a spot were a 4x4 was now parked (no, i'm not david blaine and hadnt made a convertable into a 4x4) we decided;
- I'd either parked it else where, or
- it had been TWOC'd
- infact I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep
after ensuring I hadnt parked it 2 metres away, I decided to phone the police who;
- asked if i had parked it else where
- basically said it had been TWOC'd
- asked if I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep
After a motivational talk with the police, I decided to call comrad headworth for some support - who decided I was on a piss take and winding him up. After 20 minutes of convincing him other wise we ....
Monday, November 08, 2004
Anyhoo, wandered into work at 9am for a funky management call, to lots of "Newcastle are rubbish", "Haway the lads" and "alreet pet" comments from so called profressional management which set the scene for the rest of the day. Not happy with listening to my beloved team loose to a second rate second division team, I then managed to get Newcastle -v- Man Utd tickets for me and the lovely Philippa, next weekend.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
I did feel like a little bit of a session, but tried to keep the calm - mainly because John and Debbie together tends to lead me astray - such a shy lad that I am. While we were in the lounge, I noticed one of the lasses who plays football with us on Wednesday - she's lush ... but was eating with a friend, so decided to leave it (and being shy)
After the Lounge and lack of TV for Saturday football, I suggested going to the Hogs Head. We chitchatted, then moved to the Star and Garter, to which we went to Macy's then onto the Sozzled Sausage. Finally onto the bowling green for more beverages. When we get there, there was a fantastic looking lass, someone who is completely out of my league (you know when you wont even get a look in). I've noticed her around ages ago and developed a massive crush. Turns out, the injustice of sexy birds took effect, Nice lass + Meat head = relationship - nevermind hey?!?
Anyhoo, John and Debbie were kind enough to go get Kebab's and Chips for us, and Chang beer. Now, I remember getting a couple of text's from the lovely Jess, but cant remember replying - one of them things, but apparently I did. So we play some dodgy Donkey Kong Konga on my Gamecube, watch the Simpsons that John had recorded from Friday night. To which point, things get a little fuzzy - Ive started to remember (thanks mainly to Debbie reminding me)
- I declared myself as President of the Canal House (declaring John as vice-president and Debbie head of entertainment)
- Loosing my trainers and finding them at the top of a step ladder
- having my crotch hoovered
- and having the use of my legs taken away due to alcohol abuse.
So I wake up on Sunday morning, assuming I'm going to feel like toss, as per Friday - strangely enough, feeling pretty OK - reports are that so do John and Debbie.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Toby, pictured centre with J20 sticker - pictured slightly leftAnyhoo ... the night gets a little stranger by the minute, and people decide they are gonna bugger off home (01:05), yet, I, with still half a pint left, decide to stay. I ended up talking to bar staff and regulars while slightly supping my pint. I even had the bollocks to ask a lass out for a drink, but she was to pissed to arrange owt - typical - so let that go. Moment of pure magic, I ask Andy if I can buy a Stella to wash down the Carling - to which gives me a free bottle. Fantastic - pure CSI'ing it, or what. Needless to say, I've had about 3 hours kip, I had to attend a management meeting at 09:00 this morning, then feel like shit all day. Its now 18:30 and still feel dodgy as a kebabital meal.
Good Luck Tobs!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
It gets to Wednesday, I'm still feeling a little shitty, low in confidence etc etc - and time for football - one of the highlights of my week. Over the last 6 months, ive taken alot of stress on at work, and its shown in my performance on the pitch and I expected a repeat performance tonight to be truthful.
Anyhoo, turns out I scored three, set up many and played decently well all game and we won. Thats 7 in two weeks, which is good going - esp being labelled "fucking shite at football", by some doncaster student at work. Suprised really, watching doncaster play week in, week out - you would have thought it would be entertaining watching some unfit idiots run around a pitch - oh, we're talking doncaster again.
Worked, struggled to get out of bed after the Stella from the night before. After the post-bolton-v-newcastle-match, I got a text message from one of my dearest and oldest friends Pippa. She lives in Newcastle, I've been mates with her since the 2nd year at comp (no i didnt wear shorts and a cap), she's a lovely lass and my mother has her heart set on me and Pippa getting it together. Although being a very close friend, she is very attractive, albeit, having two cats and smelling of cat wee. Anyhoo - after Newcastle could barely get out of our own half, Pip asked if we could get tickets to Newcastle -v- Man U - so god knows what kind of thrashing we'll get. So I thought I would make a long weekend of it, arrange to meet friends and family etc.
Struggling to get more than 10,000 steps with my Walker's walk-o-meter - so much so, I spent 10 mins jogging on the spot to get 5,000 steps. Also involves in a dragging day which resulted in me going home, getting ear ache from my mother about not going up over the weekend and watching Teachers (on Channel 4).
Trying to work out what I can do for Xmas and New Year - managed to get some kind of schedule in place
Week before Xmas = Travel to Newcastle
Xmas in Newcastle & Faff around
New Year = In Leam - Next door for fancy dress party - theme yet to be decided, although Kids Film and TV characters seems to be a semi fav. If so, I'm going as Jamie from Jamie and his Magic Torch.
Then 5th Jan = Fly out to Washington (DC - not Tyne and Wear), working out there for 5 days
Football day, and I'm also struggling to get towards 10,000 steps today - and I class myself as a semi healthy guys (minus the chips, stella and lack of exercise) - I am very tempted to wear my walk-o-meter tonight to see how many steps I do during football. Probably not many as I hand around on the right wing and wait for the ball to be punted at me. Current step level = 1733
Monday, November 01, 2004
Anyhoo, to cap off my great mood, Newcastle lost 2-1 to the 2 bob team called Bolton - scrappy game and we deserved at least 1 point out of it. As the Stella flowed, Rich shows me his Xbox and we played Outrun2. I've never played it, boozed up on Stella and in a bad mood - I managed to equal Rich's best performance, and beating his best time on one of the timetrials - which improved his mood. After sinking alot of Stella, I started to get the munchies, so it was decided Pizza is a good option - which it was.
- I achieved 6611 steps
- Newcastle are a fab team, bolton are cheating scum
- 6 stella's is not a quiet night
- 10 quid of Stella and a Pizza isnt CSI
- Rich is very bad at videogames.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
- 4942 steps achieved today with my Walker's Walk-o-meter
- The Hollywood version of "Planet of the Apes" is wank
- The kebabital doesnt have lovely nurses in sexy uniforms
- Grown men in nurses uniforms - not attractive - Halloween or not
- "a couple of beers" with Rich, isnt a couple of beers
- coming home to a rave, after an all day session, isnt the best thing in the world!
Anyhoo, it appears that Rich had a skin full, and attended the Kebabital before being sick and get a reply from my voice mail I left him, strangely enough asking if I wanted to go for a quick beverage, "Just a quiet couple, not stopping all afternoon, got chops in my bag and dont want them to go off". So, after a Hoegaarden, Guiness (x7) & Carling - taking part in Palace v Brum, Watching ALL of Saturdays normal fixtures, Blackburn v Liverpool - AND the fact that we were taking part in conversation with Robin's Well's resident Simpleton - it was time to go home.
Not before time, Rich enters the Kebabital - Ironic
Friday, October 29, 2004
We turn up to the well and they have live (Stupid, Stupid, Stupid and Steve) music on, it was quite touching, although being punk/rock stuff, they had a minute silence for ace, but dead, John Peel. To get into this section of the pub, you had to pay £1.50 - although not having any change, it was decided by one of the guys on the door, I could go in for free - only if I complete one of his dares. Turns out, this dare is to have a rubber stamp covered in ink, imprinted on my forehead. All good and well, perfect CSI, until I remembered a) Ink dries pretty quickly b) I had to be at work for meetings and c) getting as near to blind drunk doesnt help you remember its on your forehead.
Other fantastic parts of the night;
- Rich telling the lovely Helen that he beat me in a pool game, winning 70 quid from me
- Rich telling the lovely Helen that he was a regional pool champion (of Headworthshire)
- Rich telling the lovely Helen the Kebabital story - very very incorrectly
- Steve and Rich getting the fuzzy face gimp ID'd - just coz he was tapping off with the lovely Helen
- Winding up Vicky up about Jesus and God (being dead) and nearly making her cry (due to her laughing)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Anyhoo, there is this attractive lass who turns up to football, seems pretty canny, and I thought she seems nice, so will do some digging around. Unfortunately my sources conclude that she's seeing someone - twat on a stick!
Nevermind, starting to get braver!
Delia Smith - might make a mean roast - but your team is cack in the Carling Cup
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
(Steve Wharton, pictured centre - Nice Jumper, pictured bottom)
Monday, October 25, 2004
Now, I've done this a couple of times and know how to wing it, but Neil was insistant on him going up, though Andy (manager of the Well) stopped him and allowed me to go up. After bending a couple of the rules, like;
- Having more than a minute
- The Bar dude (chris) helping me pour pints
- People at the bar helping me to pour pints
So we ended up with 15 pints of random drinks, and comments from Andy like, "You'll never drink in this pub again" etc etc
We continued to drink and drink and drink, until we ran out of the beer - and purchased more.
Anyhoo, to cut a long story short, the 2nd half was thrilling, exciting and everything you would expect from the entertainers. We won 4-3, scoring the winner in the last 60 seconds of injury time. To conclude - Newcastle were brill, Man City were relegation dog fodder.
To conclude this, John became one with the geordie nation by playing Hovercraft-Wars on the canal - I won!
Updated, thanks to Pickford being picky
Sunday, October 24, 2004
- Breaking the largest Oracle database in the world - belonging to o2
- Breaking a friends arm/hand/wrist (wrist is what he broke) while playing football
- Breaking IBM's Ebusiness Division
- Leading next door astray
This is all starting to get a little tiring ... I mean point one - wasnt my fault, people shouldnt design systems so big. Point 2 - I was at the opposite end of the pitch - about to score a goal when it happened. Point three - OK ... not my fault - but I'll take the wrap for it. Finally point 4, let me allow you into a little secret. John and Debbie like to have a little drink, John and Debbie like to have a large drink and finally John and Debbie would drink until the cows come home. Poor John has been feeling really ill lately (well - a gay sniffle) - so I thought Friday, I'm off Monday and Tuesday - they are both off next week - so why not enjoy a sociable drink - why not, its their second fav hobbie (their 1st is stamp collecting). So suggested after work beers - little something to eat, chitchat, and allow me to take in the local talent. Needless to say, if anyone egg'd on anyone, it was Debbie from next door, forcing me to drink far to much, make MSN faces in pubs and force me to ask for drinks at a reduced rate. To conclude, if Debbie wants to accuse me of asking them out to be friendly - THEN GUILTY!!!! However, there are always two sides to a story, mine being the innocent one - then she needs to be locked up in a beer cell and the key thrown away.
I dont think it helped matters when John was begging me to not take them out for beer tonight, because he couldnt take anymore
Saturday, October 23, 2004
In true big brother style,
Day 1. Newcastle United (the greatest football team in the World - just ask Mike) were playing some two bob greek team away from home - so wonderful idea of getting Stella in, invite Rich around - enjoy the game and then potentially pop down to our local public house for last orders. Well, infact, I bought quite alot of booze in, and I think it was a mental challenge that we had to ensure it was all finished - just incase it went off. Anyhooo, Newcastle beat the Greek side 1-0 - Shearer scoring a lovely penalty. Once that was completed, we decided to be sad, and play PS2 game - Gauntlet Dark Legacy - was fun - we blinked and it was 00:45.
After a long bad week of breaking things - namely the company, Gav's wrist and my sanity, I thought what could be better - than a couple of drinks after work with my fab neighbours, John and Debbie. So give John a lift home (mainly coz he's being gay about a small cold he has) get changed and knock on their door. Off to TJs for cocktails at 5pm - always a bad sign to the night (although I did see a foxy lass who turns up and plays football), we then moved onto the Jug where Laura gay'd on about how hungry she was - then John decided to gay up with Laura and push me and Debbie into having a Curry and Millenium-mie. Managed to squeeze a couple of swift ones in the Well - being told by some crazy that I'm drunk when in fact this mentalist ( **** [ Edited due to legal action from Rich ] is what Rich likes to call them) who is bouncing of the 4 walls in the pub.
Anyhoo ... we bumped into a sexy lass who studies in Leeds (who is down this weekend), made our excuses and went to the Avenue - which I've never been too before - had a couple of swifty ones there. Then it went all to shit - I tried - I really did try. John and Debbie invited me in for some lovely malt whiskey. After the second glass, the room was spinning and my throat was hotter than a hotair balloon - in Hell. We listened to some dodgy version of "our tune" on vinyl which confused me a tad, so thought it best to go home and fall into a Carling/Whiskey induced coma.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Needless to say, this was short lived when Gav went down in a heap on the ground clutching his arm. After inspection by every "arm chair doctor" on the pitch, it was decided he'd broken his wrist and would have to be taken to A&E. During this "arm chair surgery" Gav was then hit accidently by three footballs which made me laugh when he told me later on that night. Anyhoo, Gav got carted off in the Ambulance and Mike kindly went with him, leaving the rest of us concerned, but not concerned enough to continue football. At which point, the opposition team decided to step up a gear, and we lost (although I did score a 2nd for the night)
After football, I thought I should go check on Gav as I knew he and Mike had left their cars at the football gaff and thought I could help out. So kitted in shorts, long sleave football shirt and football boots walked into A&E at Warwick Hospital greated by many bemused looks. Got sent in different directions then managed to find Gav on a top quality trolly. He was about to go for an Xray, and told to go sit with Mike. After amusing stories of life up north, the gentlemans clubs and how newcastle united are going to win zillions of trophies this season, Gav gets back.
15 mins later - a nurse comes in, says yup - you've broken it (see, "arm chair doctors" does work) shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Five mins later, another nurse comes in, shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Anyhoo, at which point myself and Mike sort out the cars and drop poor Gavs night stuff over as apparently he has to have his arm frozen and pulled back into position - Lush.
Still, I scored two goals!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sunday, October 17, 2004
I am a music man, I come from far away! I play the bea-bea-bea-anjo!
Both, you'll agree, fantastic purchases.
She downed two x blue WKD in approx 7 seconds in total ... then got a little sick - she then got offended at the roast - I think it looks nice and tasty.
Anyhoo, we marched on into town, had a couple more pints, then people sifted off. I was going to go to Sugar, however started feeling a little yuk (Gay and Queer by others) so mooched off home (11:34). Recieved random text messages from John and Debbie through out the night reminding me of what I'm missing.
Time Check : 15:01 - John in Bed, Steve about to go watch Charlton - v - Newcastle.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Bad Dude: Tell us everything! Everything!
Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Strange but true .. made me laugh - maybe you need to watch the film!
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Five, yes, Five different kinds of fish fingers!! Im my day, it was breaded or battered - now the choices are endless!
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Store Street :
For those who are stalking me ... (very few) my family dont live there anymore
(and Man U games - although they'll change the words - dirty mancs
Oh, me lads,
You should have seen us coming,
Fastest team in the League,
Just to see us winning,
All the lads and lasses,
With smiles upon their faces,
Walking down the Warwick Road,
To see Matt Busby's aces.
- Ironic - Pick a song from 100 miles away, twist it and force it for their own - TWATS)
Become northern - its great!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
If other Steve Wharton's would like to email me ... you're more than welcome too ... Lets have a huddle! If you are a Steve Wharton, and know others, or if you know a Steve Wharton that hasnt been documented ... feel free to contact me, or them ... in order to bring the world to rights
Sunday, October 10, 2004
I say, ban conkers;
- to protect my masters of the conker-verse title
- to solve thousands of kids being deformed by such a weapon
* Warning - no children were harmed in the making of this blog entry
Anyhow, to conclude, I am Masters of the Conkers. From there it went down hill, we ended up in Pig and Whistle (?), then Millenium Balti - then Jug for final Beers.
Total Drinkinking time = 9.5 hours (one Major Conker Championship)