No football, so rugby will have to do

Lastnight was due to be the cup final between Leam FC and Barwell up at the bescott, due to weather reasons this was called off and with the up and coming 6aside compo in Wales this weekend, I suggested a meet up and a couple of beers. I initially suggested bottom of Leam, mainly because it meant I could get there, but then received an email from Mr Vince asking if we wanted to go over to Rugby and he'd pick me up.

Now, after living down here for, well, 8 years now, I've never been to Rugby yet, and pretty ashamed of it, seems as its not too far. I thought why not, be a good laugh, and there was mention of real ale too, so as directed met Vince at the correct time on the street and sure enough, they were on the dot. After a brief introduction to Pete (scary stalking lad) and "headbutt pete" we were on our way to Rugby. We were given rough directions to the pub of "behind M&S", of course, we didnt know where M&S was, so we just drove towards the town centre - within minutes we were there at the Merchants.

I was introduced to a couple of the Rugby leam fans, turns out that their Rugby Town club turned on the fans and treated them badly, so they went to find a new club, and that turned out to be the Brakes. Fair enough and they all turned out to be nice chaps too, although, expecting to be heading up to the Cup Final, they'd been in the pub since 3pm, so were a little on the drunk side. A little later, the lovely Liz turned up and the guys started to swarm around her, I blinked and had around 4 pints of "Jarrow Ale" which was very nice, but went straight to my head.

We managed to sort out tactics out, Reddich Adams will be playing up front, and we're packing the midfield and defence with beefy lads. Beyond that, nothing made too much sense, and the Rugby lads started to sing drunken football chants, getitng louder and louder, with some of the "locals" getting a bit miffed. This egged the Rugby lads on a little more and started to sing "its all gone quiet over here" while picking up a little more volume. In the end, the barman came over and warned them - great, first time in Rugby and asbo'd straight away.

After a quick call, I entered a real ale based coma, waking up around 9am, ready or work - really do hope today is going to be quiet.

back to the NWG

I've never claimed to be a nice person in the morning, even tho I used to work in a Newsagents on a Sunday morning - I learnt through experience, I'm a late riser. Oncall with work certainly drummed it into me, so when I promised to help out at the New Windmill ground again, and told that they were starting at 8am, I was in a little shock.

After making a cup of tea, having a nice bath and dressed, I was in the car again back to Leam FC's ground. When I got there, the rest of the organisers were in the kitchen making tea, coffee and bacon sandwiches - and after the two bottles of wine lastnight, when they asked if I wanted a sandwich, I jumped at the chance to soak the booze up.

I got a little more involved today, writing out cards for the games, and to be honest, thats about it, but it was getting a little brighter, so armed with my iPod I was able to chill out, watch slightly older lads play in compos against each other.

Lunch turned up and we were offered more free tea, and free burgers from the burger bar, along with chips - which was nice, considering. I had a chat with one of the organisers and they said that they reckon to raise about 2K for club over the two days - which can only be a good thing.

After the last final was played, it was agreed that the organisers (including kids and adults) would have a knock around. Me being in my situation meant I couldnt get too involved so said I would referee, this lasted about 3 minutes til the novelty of hopping around wore off, so one of the official refs took over. Meanwhile, someone was away cooking sausages (free again) and we had a nice quiet pint and chattered.

A long heavy weekend, but made a lot of new friends and felt that I was accepted by a community. Have to say that the kids that were helping to organise the event, were good as gold (christ, I am getting old with phrases like that) and even helped me out. They have it all to do again next week, however with Wales on the Saturday, I doubt I'll turn up for the Sunday session - at some point, everyone needs a bit of special time.

Helping out at the NWG

With the premiership and noneleague football finished on saturdays, I was at a bit of a loss on what to do today. A heavy late night lastnight, meant sleeping and getting out of bed just after midday - lazy you may think, but well deserved after a cruddy week.

Leam FC was holding a 6aside compo and I'd said I would get up at some point to show face and hopefully show alittle bit of focus for the master plan I mentioned a couple of weeks ago on here. I managed to scrounge a lift up there - just as it was starting to rain, so well timed, and got introduced to members of the club who I know, but not to speak to - so it was nice to get involved.

A couple of the players had turned up to referee and help out, as well as some of the fans, but it was nice to see the club putting something back into the community. With being on crutches, I felt a little left out and unable to help, apart from stand there, watch the kids play football and keep out the way. I spoke to one of the guys who is one of the youth managers, and my 5aside friend Mick had mentioned I was interested in coaching. It was good to catch up with Kev, and he said they were looking for another coach for the Under 9's and would mention me in a meeting on Wednesday coming, but didnt see it being a problem. This brought a smile to the face straight away, being involved in something, even tho I've never done it before - see it as a challenge tho.

By 5.30/6pm the last final of the day was played and it was time for the organisers to chill out and relax with a pint, and thats probably the most I done all day - downed 2 pints of "xxxx". I managed to get a lift home and put my feed up and relaxed, watched TV and got into the rut of having a bit of a late night. I'd said I would help out again the next day, albeit in a "standing out the way and not annoying way" type of help

Legends * (warning, only includes 4 legends)

In true channel 5 style, they managed to destroy what would normally be a good idea, and entertaining show, by placing 3rd rate presenters and contestants. Tonight was the football legends of England and germany playing against each other at Readings stadium - fun you may think ?

The show went into great depth about the clashes between England and germany and was interesting, then when the game started, the England team consisted of a couple of Legends, and them some celebs and sportsmen from different areas of sport, of which England had 3 x number 11s (the idea being that the players picked their own favoured positions and numbers).

After 10 minutes, the first player came off, with a sub replacing him, the swapped player harped on how hard it was and difficult it was against the germans (who at this point were already 1-0 up). The germans looked like the were gel'ing well together, and it turns out, that they go on tour and play football together alot, where as England, managed by Monkey's Heed Peter Reid, hardly spoke to each other.

The game was more or less was given to germany, but a moment of comedy genius and excellent sportsmanship provided entertainment to millions - Boris Johnson, taking out a German by running him down "bull style". Maybe he's our answer to England's Rooney problem. Anyhooo, have a scan for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA

Cast away, in 4 weeks!

Today marked my second visit to the nice fracture at Warwick Hospital - where I was hoping to get the damn cast off. I know it was looking on the brighter side of things, but at the back of my mind, I'm thinking two weeks to full recovery is probably nigh on impossible. Debbie was kind enough to take me over for the 14.30 appointment and we got there in good time, checked in and sat in the waiting room - along with the other 45 people. There was a good mixture of people in the waiting room - old, young, normal looking, funny looking, happy and sad people - so, to skip the time, we took the piss.

After an hour, my name got called by a nice looking nurse and she led me to the xray room - unsure what was happening, she got me on the bed and set my leg up for an xray, without the cast coming off - I was a little confused to say the least. 10 minutes later, she handed me the xray and pointed us in the towards the specialist corridor.

After a small wait, we were invited back to Doctor Aslan's room, just previous to that we managed to get a sneek preview of the xray and couldnt see anything. The good old Doctor confirmed that the healing was going well, and then expected him to say, "cast off - take care". We talked a little, he asked what I'd been up too - so I told him that I've packed myself full of milk to build up the calcium - to which he laughed, alot. So much so, he couldnt keep a straight face when he handled the xrays. He in turn packed me off to the plaster department, to get a new cast placed to replace this old skanky looking one.

Twenty minutes later, the plastering nurse was taking a drill to my foot, and promised that I wouldnt be cut, or have my leg hacked off accidently. Fair play to her, she was right, however, she then ended up cutting half of my leg hair off. Due to the colour of my toes the last couple of days, I half expected the colour of my foot to be the same, so ended up taking my camera to record the evidence, however was a little disappointed when the cast eventually did come off. All that was there was normal skin colour, and my foot still a little swollen up, and within minutes the next cast was on and drying.

All that happens now, is 4 weeks worth of sitting around waiting til it fixes itself, assuming on top of that - a couple of weeks of physio. Which in theory gives me about 6 weeks to walk, jog and swim before holiday. Fingers crossed, that gets me up to the world cup finals and off with it - so I can get around pretty freely.

Nothing to play for??

With 5th place sorted out, and last game of the season, you'd think we wouldnt have anything to play for. Leam FC payed host to Loughborough Dynamo as the final game of an already impressive season by anyone's standards, what with an FA Cup first round place, a very good run in the FA Vase, a Cup final in a couple of weeks time against Barwell, doing very well in the league at the start of the season.

I'd missed the away Barwell League game on tuesday, sadly, however reading the reports, it appeared that it was a fantastic night, and gives us the lift before the cup final against the same team.

The first half against the mighty dynamo was good, we could have scored a couple and had it sorted by the half time whistle, but we had to settle with just the one, and Leam do it the hard way. The 2nd half was a slightly different story, but more or less the same tale that we saw at Westfields a couple of months ago, where we just lost the formation and lost the control and flow. There were a number of moans and groans from all areas of the ground, but this just made the opposition stronger and stronger and by the final whistle we were 3-1 down.

The goal keeper was being given a bit of abuse from the North Bank, as they do with most keepers - its all a bit of banter, sometimes it gets a bit serious, but hey, its football. At the final whistle went, the keeper cheered loudly and was given even more banter - suggesting that they had won a cup, or the league, or something, in reality, they got 3 points, nothing more, nothing less. As the ground started to empty, the Keeper came over to me, and I expected a punch or something when he opened his mouth, I was assuming he was blaming me for the banter, or picked up on something I'd said.

Refreshingly enough, he asked what I'd done to my leg, told me a story about him doin the same thing, told me to be patient and patted my back and sent me on my way. We were all a bit gobsmacked, I dont know if he was mixing me up with one of the players or was just being genuinly nice - was nice tho, much to our amusement!

The brotherhood of the North Bank came over to speak to me, to ensure he wasnt taking his frustrations out on me, which was nice too, but told them the story and they laughed, then went to grab booze, where as we left to go back home, to find out that Pompey had stayed up, thanks to some fine silky football from NUFC.

Zutons, Calcium & Sainsbury's

I was kindly invited to sainsbury's to get some weekly shopping, and this time, John, Debbie and I were joined by Laura. After picking up Laura from somewhere out west, Debbie skidding on Laura's lawn, we were on our way.

Turns out Laura is one of these Super Shoppers, as it appears that as soon as we got there, she used her Shop-time-machine to complete her shopping and she was waiting patiently for us to complete ours. By the time I picked up my wheel chair, wheeled around the veg department, and the entertainment department, it was looking more likely we needed a bigger trolly.

I picked up The Zuton's new album on my wheeling, and turns out its absolutely fantastic, although my other purchase "the producers" on DVD wasnt so fantastic. But, you live and learn by these experiences, and move on from them. Packing the trolley with enough calcium to grow new bones altogether, and enough ready meals that would last a nuclear war, we were well on our way to the alcomohol department. I tried to be a little independant, by grabbing my own beer, including a bottle of wine, 2 bottles of american beer, and a bottle of Cat Whiskers (a real ale - not actually a drink made out of cat's whiskers). On the way back to join John, I accidently dropped a bottle, well it rolled from between my legs. Have to say, being in a wheel chair, you can get away with almost anything, with me apologising, and the sales assistant telling me not to worry. I really wasnt, I was more embarressed by the fact I'd done it in front of a stunning blonde who I'd had my eye on, couldnt happen any other funking time, could it !?

After picking up the medicinal ice cream we managed to get to the checkout and pay pretty quickly. On the way back, we discussed our purchases, only to find out that I was chuffed with my album purchase, John was sitting on a massive bag of compost, and Laura was over the moon with her pumpkin seeds.

See, shopping days REALLY can be fun!

Broken Happy Friday

John picked a project up, which consisted of recording using the medium of photography, the indepth passage of a curry. So to help him along his way, myself, Debbie, John, MC and Super Gary ended up in a curry house, not far from where we live. This was quite an achievement, mainly because it was the first Friday that I've been out since I knackered my knee up, although I went out with Rich the other night, this is the first time I've sat down with a meal, and stayed out all night - all quite exhausting.

After the evidence of the starter, drinks and main meal, the curry house ended up geting packed out with emo kids (not chavs like Super Gary thought). Now Emo's (not the birds thats emu) to me, its a bit of a poor man's goth, you know, you do the dressing up, but you really dont make the effort to apply the makeup. I suppose the only real difference is the colour of the clothes, ie, there is some colour and its not just black.

Anyhow, Super Gary got a bit scared of the crowd, so we convinced he and MC to come to the Jug for "one" beverage, while I went looking for some attention from some fit lasses. We managed to get a small table next to the window, so was nice, esp with the light nights, but I was really hoping that the beer garden was going to be open - a little optimistic I reckon. This is also the first time I've worn jeans in about 10 days, so I was a little confused, luckily a pair of my jeans had been ripping slightly at the bottom of the leg, so rather than cutting a new / old pair, I was able to wedge the material around different angles.

Yes, I did fancy a bit of attention, and was egged on to go find it, however, what I wasnt expecting was the Jug's landlord coming over asking questions, with his fantastic tash. A nice bloke, but just not what I was looking for in terms of attention seeking. Anyhoo, MC and Super Gary didnt want to drink too much as they were going for a jog in the morning, however, 3 bottles of wine later, MC entered her usual point of the night, where she's either vr quiet, or vr loud, her head dances a little then ends on Gary's shoulder before her eyes glaze over.

I was worried about getting back, esp after a bottle of wine and a pint inside me - however, with the medium of alcomohol, we were able to get back in about 15 minutes. I was feeling a little drunk, so decided to watch a bit of TV, and managed to get a good 45 minutes of the London Carling Festival, which was fantastic - although did eventually need sleep before I entered my coma on the sofa.

Booze or No Booze [ ? ]

You'll have to excuse the two links to a story here .. but they do meet in the middle, somewhere, I think, well I'm sure of it. Rich has got me into the quiz game show, Deal or No Deal, and find it pretty relaxing, so been catching it when I can, when I'm not busy, or clocking off early. The format is pretty good, and to me, its a case, if you get on the show, its free money - not really using the brain cells as such.

Hello Noel!

Anyhow, Rich popped down and helped me get down to TJs for a couple of sly beers - between the two of us, we had enough crap to deal with, so we give up and buggered off to the pub. We went for TJs, as it was easiest to get too and have a quick and quiet beer - and take it from there. It was nice, it was also the first beer that I've had since Sunday, and the 2nd for about 10 days - which is pretty good going. I promised myself that I wouldnt get lardy while I had a cast on due to lack of exercise, so trying to stay away from booze and doing situps when and if I can.

Anyhow, after TJ's beer, we went over to the Well to see our old bar staff friends, and had a couple, we got talking about Deal or No Deal (see, there is a link) and managed to make up a new related spin off game, Booze or No Booze. Rather than money, you get booze, so, you invite x number of friends around and place a bottle of something in a box, mix them all around. The smallest prize consists of a pint of water, then you go up to lemonade, diet coke, full fat coke, getting to stronger and/or more expensive beverages - a nice bottle of champers for example, as the top prize.

Anyhow, at the thought of this, we couldnt stop laughing, and then had another spin off game, bird or no bird, but then the walls of reality started to crumble and I dont think either of us made any sense at all. We wandered back to TJs for a final pint, talked to a lovely lass at the end of the bar about my war injury, and watched the final minutes of the 2nd champions league semi final. Although it wasnt late, and because it was the first "session" for a while, I was a little blah, so crutched it back home, taking around 25/30 minutes (when it normally takes about 5 minutes). Starving that I was, I bunged in a "toad in the hole" in the oven, managing to talk to someone on MSN, thinking it was them, turns out it was her brother, so tried to fix things by texting, and making things worse by taking the piss out of her boyfriend. To make things even worse, I went to get the food and burnt my thumb on the boiling fat from the food - it hurt.

Toe Panic

One of the things that the male nurse said to me when he put the cast on, was that if the toes start to go blue, come into the hospital to get checked out. I've never broken any bones before, so this is complete trial and error to me. I'm not going to give you the sob story about being single blah blah blah, I admit, its not easy, but I like being independant, but do miss company. Anyhoo (oh, a while since I've said that) yesterday around 4pm, my toes started to go a funny colour, part of me thought its just dust, or muck, part of me thought about them becoming bruised, but seemed strange that my toes bruise when its my ankle.

I sent Debbie a text asking if she had the time, if she could take me over to A&E - you know, just for some reassurance, and I think I'm at that point of life, where I'm getting old and sensible. Normally, I would have shrugged it off, and maybe have gone down to the pub instead - then think about getting chips. Debbie was on her way back from WeightWatchers (tm) and called me to find out what was wrong. I explained the situation and agreed that I should go over (accompanied by John), although this was putting John and Debbie's jogging night off.

Once we got to A&E, I checked in, as it were, and then we waited, and waited and waited - well for approx 45 mins (missing Hollyoaks - damn it). Once I got to see the nurse, she confirmed it was bruising, and it was OK, and just to keep my foot upright. At this point A&E was full of attractive, but broken young women, so we left and went back home. A couple of hours later, my toes had gone to a new level of black and blue - and not very pretty. I apologised to John and Debbie plenty of times for wasting their time, mainly because I didnt want the humour starting to wear thin. Anyhow, I still have all my toes, even tho they are currently fat, round, black and blue, thanks to the swelling - but better to be safe than sorry. I do like my toes, even if no one else likes them.

Wheelchair fun around sainsbury's

Fun around Sainsbury's last Thursday

oh hollyoaks - you know, those people from the tele.

The long awaited Leam Youth Squad v Mersey TV (including people from hollyoaks) was kicked off today. It was a charity event in the aid of the MacMillan fun, on behalf of the Major Of Leamington, and it was expected to be the biggest crowd of the season, on top of Leam v Warwick and the FA cup qualifier - way back when.

Once again, Debbie drove myself and John up and we got there just a lil before kick off. The place was occupied mainly by the younger range of females, and some regulars like us trying to cheer on the town's football club.

The first half ended goaless and we ended up popping into the club house for a sly beer and a chinwag with the lovely Liz and the not so lovely Vince (well, he's a bloke). We had Brake Fluid - and this being the first drink for a week, went straight to the head - mainly because of the painkillers. The second half kicked off, and John and Debbie left me chinwagging with one of the chaps from work, explained how the ankle had buggered up, then joined John and Debbie at the Harbury Lane end.

This went to Pens (Leam going 1-0 up, then the "stars" being given a penalty which was very suspect - esp when the guy was going in the opposite direction. The stars ended up winning 5-4 on pens, or something - but anyhow, I ended up taking some photos.

I thought the lads done very well, based on the fact that they were playing older guys and them being TV stars. Some of the stars were swearing and we reminded them that there were young impressionable people around - like me :o)

Bye Bye Mr Shearer

I was talking to my old school mate, Philippa, yesterday via Text. She's a radiologist up in Newcastle, and often sees the NUFC squad down her corridors. Pippa was the person who managed to get me tickets to Shearer's testimonial, so thought it was only fair to text her and let her know as much as I could about my injury.

When I got the text message she mentioned that Mr Shearer was in the hospital awaiting a scan from one of her colleagues - however, from Pippa's description, "He looks fucked". Needless to say, the papers were covered with stories about Shearer retiring.

Legend - pure and simple.

When I eventually woke up today, there was a statement on the unofficial NUFC webpage saying that the great man has officially retired from playing professional football. By all accounts, the interviews that I've seen today, he's trying to get fit for some kind of appearance in the testimontial next month. Good luck to the chap, he's been a complete legend for Newcastle, England and the Premiership. Just a shame he was unable to finish the last 3 remaining games of the season. Sir Alan, I take my cap off to you!

Hotdog, Jumping Frog, Alvechurch-y

With being either in my flat, or hospital, I was desperate to get out and get some fresh air, regardless of where it was. Thursday nights tend to be football free, however Leam FC had to play a previously posponed game up at Alvechurch, approx 35 minutes drive away from home. It sounded like a great idea, a football game, not to far, so if it did rain, or I was exhausted, we could come back with pretty much ease. We invited MC along to her first Leam FC game, and sure enough, the roads were clear enough, we got there 5 minutes later than expected - with the game already up and running, 1-1 was the score (I thought it was 0-0).

Captain Simesy was there on Wedneday night the accident happened, so came over and spoke to me - it did look like it was going to rain, so when I mentioned I needed to keep the cast dry, he invited me up to stand / sit with the "North Banker's". These were a group of friendly chaps, who stand behind the goals at the home games, and start alot of the singing - and personally speaking, the heart and soul behind the fan base. They'd already started with one song, "ONE leg, He's only got one leg, he's only got one leg, ONE LEG!" and "He's got a leg that can be used as a goal post".

When I went to join them up some old stone steps, every time I jumped with one leg, they "BOING'D" like Zebedee from the magic roundabout. All very amusing and in good taste, and I continued to watch the game from a fantastic position at the back of the stands, talking to the guy who does the filming for the Brake's (no pun intended) Videos.

We cheered the players on and ended up coming away with a vital 3 points, moving us nicely for a 5th position finish in the league. We made our way back to the car, however forgetting it was on a gentle bank, but on crutches, felt like a mountain - but made it. Once we got back, my shoulders, chest and arms were red raw with blood rushing around my body. However this meant that I would get a good night sleep, certainly after all this adventure over the last couple of days.

Going back to hospital - already

Thursday morning saw a return to Warwick Hospital, this time, the fracture clinic, and the next desk away from A&E. Sadly no sign of the foxy doctor that dealt with me the night before, however, you'd really expect her to be tucked in bed after potentially a huge shift. We got there a little later than the 09:05 appointment, mainly due to the fact that it takes about 3 times as long to do anything with a cast and a set of crutches. Luckily Debbie was on vacation for half term, however, I did feel guilty that she'd basically dropped her holiday to help me out.

Once we did get there, the "everyone wants to be a comedian" continued with OAP's trying to be funny, and then a 20 minute wait. We got to speak to the specialist (Dr Aslan - no, not the Lion from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - much to Debbie's amusement) who said he wasnt happy with the Xray - something to do with breaking that bone, meant that you put pressure on another bone and that breaks too. He cut open the cast open and the foot was still swollen, mentioned a possible operation, larger cast and even longer to return to "action".

He packed me off to teh Xray department once again, this time to get a full leg Xray - this wrecked as I had to twist and turn the knee and foot so the Xray lady was happy. Back off to the specialist with new Xray in hand, he still wasnt happy, so decided to wrap my foot around in a cast again and get me back in 2 weeks time. This gives the swelling a chance to reduce and maybe a little bit of healing. He give me a cast that I could "stand" on when I go to the toilet - but I was still not to put any pressure on. I started to take the painkillers then and there, and we set off towards Starbucks next to Sainsbury's to get some brunch, with us being up so early.

With a cup of tea, sandwich and muffin inside of us, we decided to have a wander (hop) around the shop to get supplies til the weekend. I'd gone to customer services and managed to get a wheel chair - much to Debbie's amusement, and not to the sales assistant, who couldnt understand why Debbie was laughing at me. I took to the wheel chair straight away, managing to do 180's and 360's - also managing to surf around corners. This was truely the most fun I've had for a very long time, and certainly in the last 48 hours.

Debbie was very good, she put away all my shopping that we got, and harped on about the state of flat, even threatened to come around and clean it up, when her cleaner turned up at 4pm ish. I couldnt get this right in my mind ... they had a cleaner, yet she was willing to come around and clean my gaff up - just strange, not natural.

Anyhow, 4.30pm came and a knock on the door, as she started to clean my flat up, putting random items that I've collected into storage plastic boxes. wiped the work top. I was still working away, blinked and turned around, it was like the place was brand new, like the day I moved in, just with my possessions in. It was clean! To be fair, I had washed and put away loads of dishes, plates and cups, and the week before, had thrown away alot of rubbish, so I think the job was made a little easier - but still thank you.

To say thanks, I cooked the ready meals that we had bought earlier and ate together, we even worked on a plan on how I could get a bath, without a) Debbie seeing me semi/naked and b) getting my cast soaking wet. This involved me twisting and turning my body around, using the shower head to wash my hair and back.

All fun - yet clean, I hadnt wash, bath or shower since running around for 45 minutes, covered in sweat, dirt and sand - was so nice to be clean - mmm, clean

If its good enough for Shearer, its good enough for me - Hero Worshipping

Before anyone else decided to blog this and post the photo up, I thought I'd get in first. Right now, I'm in alot of pain, and it all happened at 19:45 on the football pitch when I went for the ball, with someone chasing after it too. I slipped, skidded, slipped again, heard three tears/cracks and yelped. I'm not a fraid to admit it, I yelped, and I wasnt scared because I'd broken anything, but because of the noise it made.

After speaking to the first aid at the sports centre, he suggested going over to Warwick A&E to get it checked out - within 5 minutes, it had gone from moveable to unmoveable and very painful. Captain Johno at that point had turned up for a game of football and a big beam on his face, only for it to turn to a concerned look. One of the lads, Bill, took me over to A&E in his flash (but very low down) BMW convertable, Johno had roped one of the students to drive my car back to my place and drop the keys off.

Meanwhile in A&E, I was a little worried at the "The Queuing time is approx 2.5 hours" - however got seen by, I guess you call them male nurses. He took more details and said the doctor would be there in a couple of minutes. He was right, and she was stunning, we talked, she prodded, I blushed, I grimaced, then after 10 minutes consulation I got, "Oh, you have got funny feet havent you". After smiling more, she packed me off to the XRay department, where I had a nice chat with the XRay man - now called X Ray, not because his name was Ray, but because it made me laugh when I was in agony. He give me a plastic folder with the Xrays, after updating me on the Arsenal score, and told me to go sit "somewhere". I bumped into the lovely Doctor, who by this time I had taken a real shine too, and she said she's sort me out in a tick.

When she got back, she looked at the plastic folder and said "its got a red dot on it" - when I asked if that was bad, she said I was going to need a cast. Within seconds of her saying that, all I could think was, 6aside compo = fucked, shearer testimonial = fucked, dancing in Mirage = fucked. She said that a nurse would come sort my cast out and waved goodbye, then Debbie, followed by Johno turned up and waved and laughed. At that point the male nurse said he was ready for the cast, brought a very bad looking wheel chair (see below) much to Debbie and Johno's amusement. Johno shouting in the background, "never let Shaun drive your car again, I dont think he had a driving licence".

"Help me lady doctor, please - pitty me"

Obviously, put someone in a situation, and this day and age, people will take photos on camera's, mobile phones, and this was no change. After reminding those two that phones and cameras are not permitted in the hospital, the male nurse just laughed and told them to get on with it. Typical, only under Blair's NHS!

Anyhow, add 20 minutes and a cast later, I was hobbling around like Mr Hoppy the Hopmaster in Hopland and heading towards home (Johno leaving and Debbie giving me a lift home) - only to wave nicely at the lovely Doctor - medicine woman - purr! Got set up at home, text'd my mother, Pippa, and the oh so lovely Jess, took a couple of painkillers, didnt make it down the pub and wrote this. Thanks to one and all to helping me out.

Only got to get up at such an early time to go back tomorrow, and get it seen to by the specialist - I currently cant shower, and after 45 minutes of running around and football, going to make an interesting day, thats for sure.

Good Friday, pah! Bad Friday more like

I woke up at 10am today, expecting to get this work done and dusted, then enjoy the rest of the day. That didnt happen, in fact, around 17.00 I gave up and stopped working. What miffed me more was that it was a fantastic day outside, and probably the warmest we've had this year so far. Enough was enough when it got to 2pm and I hadnt had anything to eat all day- so popped around to the shop to buy some grub and get some fresh air, and it was real spring.

Being unable to get out and about to test my new Sony T9 camera out properly - I took Steve's Stereotypical Canal Photos to see what they looked like. As you can see below - nice and clear.

One thing that I dont really like about the new cam is the fact it doesnt really have a proper old fashioned view finder, you know, you look and point, just the bit window you can see on the back of the camera to aim and point. Call me old fashioned, I like that, I like to know what I'm taking photos off. On the plus side, its really light, and compact - probably even more that Rich's newish digi cam he got a while back. I'm not really impressed with digi cam providers in a whole, based on the fact that you buy a cam, you expect enough to go away and take photos - yet the T9 comes with an onboard memory cell, plus the ability to put Sony Memory Stick Duo's in. Now, I thought I was being pretty smart as the PSP came with one by default a 32Mb card, however, I now know that allows 6 photos to be stored!

I just dont understand why they cant package a camera with everything you need - a decent size card, a case so your fantastic new light camera with a massive viewing screen, doesnt get scratched.

I promised my sister my old camera, as a fav, so need to take that up to newcastle the next time I go up - which will probably end up being the shearer testimonial!

not so post office

I had a delivery notification lastnight that my digital camera had turned up, however because I was out at the time and at the office, its returned to te depot. The note was a little misleading, with one area ticketed to say it was going to be redelivered shortly, yet another bit saying "Parcel is at .. Coventry". In my hungover state from lastnight, I tried to call the depot to see what the score was, unfortunately, the line was constantly engaged - so had to make a decision - risk going over there and collecting it - or just wait.

My misery of the week continued to mount with inprofessional comments being made and aimed at my team and I, and when you have a hangover the state of mine, it made things twice as bad. I decided, best thing I could do, was take my lunch hour and drive over to coventry to collect it. When I got there - I had to wait about 20 minutes to get served, and when I did, the guy said it was about to be delivered this afternoon - around 13.45. So pleased that I would at least be getting it today, I nodded and left, getting back home to more work related abuse.

When it got to 5pm, I called them back, managing to get through this time, only to be told that there was a mistake, the parcel hadnt actually been loaded onto the van, and in fact, I could have picked it up then and there the first time around. As they shut at 7pm, I decided to risk it - however hitting the bank holiday traffic starting to move on the M6. 2 hours later, I was back home, with my boss's boss's boss on the phone to me, asking how the problem I'd been working on was progressing. What confused me more, was that he'd called my personal mobile, rather than my work number.

Having started work at 8am today, I was slightly less amused that I ended up finishing work at 11pm, and two x old speckled hen bottles to the good later, I entered a baby-type sleep.

Oh Whoops!

OK, I told a pork pie! Things can get worse, you could wake up, hungover, by a text message from your neighbour asking if you want to go for a jog. Same as yesterday morning, you think? Well kinda, only to find my credit card on my keyboard and a bemused look on my face, and my desk covered in Tiger beer bottles. Part of me trying to get ready for this jog, part of me trying to work out what I've ordered, so switched the PC on, connected to T'interweb and read my new mail.

Turns out, I ordered the digi camera that I've been after for a couple of weeks, managing to get a decent price on it - 100 quid less than what the Sony shop were offering when I popped in. However, there was another email there....

Thanks very much for your email, the Prime Ministers Office will read the email
and get a reply to you, and if of interest, will be placed on the PM's monthly
discussion list

Turns out, I got fed up of the chav element around town and the increase of yobs taking over the streets, that I emailed the PM - nice, not something you really expect in the morning.

To make myself feel a bit better after the jog, I popped into town to do a bit of clothes shopping, getting a nice new tie and shirt for work, and a hooded top (ironic) and some bright white underwear - mm.

Pride of Warwickshire

The last thing you need in the morning, when you've had a skinful the night before and not really slept, is a text from your nice neighbours asking if you're up for a saturday morning jog. I could have easily just got up, made a bacon sandwich, a cup of tea and watched Saturday Superstore (or whatever they call it these days) in my boxers. However, in the magical world of Warburton, and being sensible, a jog came out on top - so 5 minutes later, trainers or and the cold wind blowing into my eyes, we set along the canal, getting even further than we did the other day.

30 odd minutes later, we got back, a little tired, made a bacon sandwich, a cuppa and sat in my boxers watching some other saturday show for youngsters.

After a shower and clean up, we met in the street, ready to depart to the Leamington v RC warwick derby. We got up there pretty early and 5 minutes later, we were told already 200 people had come through the gates. The wind was strong, blowing the ball around and we knew it was going to cause both teams a problem - and then bang! 2 minutes into the game, the scummers managed to score. We held strong and got the better of the posession, however as is the case in most derbies, it was a scrappy affair. Both teams only had a league position to play for, nothing more, nothing less, and of course the bragging rights til the start of next season. By the half time, we managed to crawl it back to 2-1 and more or less faced a battering in the second half - but we defended well.

I had an interesting chinwag with someone at the ground, and dont wish to say anything as yet, but its something I've always wanted to do. Got a chat with management next week to discuss the possibilities and then learn a little bit more about it - not being cryptic, just dont want to be disappointed.

We got back and it started to sleet/slush it down - lovely. Welcome to spring!

Happy Shiney Restaurant

I joined Debbie in the gym after what has been a very very hard couple of days. These have probably been the worst set of days of my working career, and to be honest, it had nowt to do with my job, it was down to someone else not doing their job correctly. Unfortunately, its becoming more of a theme with work, people are just either on a piss take, or lazy - and its up to the "good guys" to pick it up and run with it.

Anyhow, I digress, I managed 50 lengths in the pool, and worked out that I've done exercise 8 days in the last 10 - which is pretty good going. After a relaxing jacuzzi and sauna, we headed back home with arrangements made to meet in one of the new italian restaurants in town, Prezzo, accompanied by MC and Super Gary.
Its very shiney and new, and the food is very tasty. I ended up having pizza, followed by a cheesecake. The Cheesecake turned up with chocolate on the top, however scrapped that off and gave it to Debbie and Super Gary. Thats really how broken I am.

We ended up in the Jug (not for the want of trying to go elsewhere, honestly) where we managed to grab a table after 10 minutes as it was vr busy, but chilled at the same time. After the 2nd bottle of wine, I think the exhaustion from exercise kicked in and was ready for sleep, but we managed to get a round of shorts in - myself having Morgans Rum and coke - mmm.

Tomorrow is the local derby, between Brakes and RC Warwick scummers - also promised Debbie I would go for a jog with her, and John might turn up!

Chasing the Cup

Tonight saw the 1st semi final to the Polymac cup between Chasetown and Leamington FC - well basically the lowest two teams in the 1st round of the FA cup this season. After a quick jog along the canal with Debbie, something to eat, and a quick shower, we were on the way up the motorway on an unusual Tuesday night jaunt to cheer on the Team. On the motorway, we encountered briliant sunshine, rain, snow, and wind - looking at my footwear, I expected it to be a repeat of Saturday, loads of mud and monsoons.

We bumped into the friendly familiar people, chinwagged and got ourselves hot drinks as the temperature started to tip towards zero. As soon as the whistle went to kick off, we were under the cosh and an early sub bringing Leon Morgan on, give us a huge amount of strength up front, to hold the ball. We went in at half time 1-0 town, and most doom and gloom mongers expected a trashing, and a hell of alot of work to do in the home fixture to get into the final.

The second half, we came racing out the traps, managing to equalise, then go 2-1 up - to the frustration of the home manager (Mr Charlie) and the local fan (well, an OAP who told me to shut up - because I was giving the lino some correction abuse). We managed to seal the first match of the round by Josh Blake being pulled down in the box by their keeper, the keeper being sent off and us scoring a pen from the foul. One of their outfielders had to go in goal as it appeared that they didnt have any goalies on the bench, or they made their full 3 subs at least. I thought at this point, we would have sealed the tie, maybe scoring a couple more, but to be fair to chasetown, they didnt just sit back, they kept us under pressure for the final 10 mins.

Final Score - Chasetown 1 - Leam FC 3. 2nd half of the tie, next Tuesday.

Fish Eye Photos - Volume #2

Scan10023
Originally uploaded by docwharton.

I've spent the last couple of weeks playing around with the Fish Eye Camera in my patio, trying to capture different light, seasons and the up and coming Daffs.

The nice people at Jessops didnt provide a CD that I asked for (luckily didnt pay for either) so John kindly let me borrow his new scanner while he played outrun 2006 on my PSP - fair deal I think!

Stefan :: Broken

Gone are the days where chocolate, lard and lager munching Warburton used to ride these lands, thats all been replaced with exercise, fruit and veg. Its got to a state where I have given up chocolate for Lent, now, I'm not a religious man, infact, since the catholic school, it more or less turned me against it. I decided it was probably a good thing to do, improve my health, complextion, all for not eating something for 40 days and 40 nights. Yeah, every so often, I get the craze, but in years gone by, I would have thought "bugger it chocolate time".

I've ended up in Somerfield, craving chocolate, drooling at the chocolate stand, but then think, "oh well, I'll get some fruit instead" - thats not real is it ? Maybe its because I'm getting old, sensible for once - no idea.

Today, I've taken my broken state too far, and enough is enough. I'd suggested to Debbie that I was going to go swimming, however after a bad night sleep, I missed her going up, but still managed to get up there at lunch time, getting 50 lengths in - not bad for a Sunday. When I returned from town, Debbie mentioned that her and MC were starting up training for a "race for life" and asked if I wanted to join them. Now, the canal isnt the safest of places at the best of times, so part wanting a bit of a run, part making sure the two runners were safe. The idea of the program is that you start simple and build up stamina - todays was 1 minute run/1 minute walk/run/walk - for a total of 20 mins. This was OK, however there was rain, wind and chav's randomly taking the piss - something you dont really need. I managed to get back with my heart lightly beating, Debbie and MC more or less on their knees begging for oxygen and water.

Still, "rest" day tomorrow ... time for more swimming.

Outrun 2006

I dont really like driving games, however Outrun 2006 was released today, with the added extra of multi player game, wirelessly. Rich had the rerelease for Outrun on the Xbox, many months ago, he wasnt very good at that, so what chance did we have at this new version for the playstation portable.

I had a couple of things to do in town, at lunch time, so popped into Game to pick up my version of outrun 2006. Rich had ordered his from amazon, using a gift voucher he had from months ago, however this wouldnt turn up to Tuesday / Wednesday. Worried that I would get some much needed practice, he cancelled his order and ran into town.

"Checkpoint"

We havent had a real catch up, for natters, chin wags, and taking the piss out of one another, and after standing in for captain bob, you can tell he was certainly stressed. So what better way to relax, than a quiet pint and a sandwich in the local pub over lunch time, with a bit of wireless two player game of outrun 2006. Sat at the bar, part munching bacon sandwich, part supping his "Stella Shandy*", cursing and swearing everytime I overtake him in the game.

Have to say, I was well impressed with this game, mainly because of the speed and control needed, but also because of the way the multiplayer game works. One PSP hosts the game as a server, other PSP's link in via the Adhoc wireless mode, when the server is happy, you can press "Start Race", which start kicks everyone elses PSP.

Well worth the money, hopefully more friends with get a PSPand outrun, giving hours of entertainment.

Oh Ah Shearer!

Just had a quick phone call from my old school chum pippa. I'd text'd her a while back asking if she could get hold of a couple of tickets for Mr Shearer's farewell game at St James Park, mainly due to the fact that'll be like gold dust. I recieved a call today from her saying that the money has been taken out of her account and I can have (purchase) one of the tickets from her - YAY!

Legend!

Random, but funny!

Long weekend in Newcastle required, well at least Thursday / Friday anyways, and good excuse to having an entertaining night with Pippa too!

Perfect Strangers

In times gone by, when you were students, and you had the ability of sitting around all afternoon watching crap TV, once in a while you get a perfect american sitcom. I dont know what it was about Perfect Strangers, but it made me laugh, mainly by the cack handed greek dude who barely spoke english (or american) who got into rucks every week with the locals. Balki Bartokomous, my Greek friend (pictured below) came from a fictional Greek Island, called Mypos. Thats how much energy they put into this show.

Hey Balki!

I managed to download Perfect Strangers using bitolerant and was taken back to the 80/90s - although doesnt appear to be as good as I remember. Funny that, hey ?

Number 31 : Happy Friday

I met Debbie for a bit of a swim lastnight, where I managed to do around 60 lengths, followed by a jacuzzi and a sauna, just to relax from the troubles of the working week, and set ourselves up for a relaxing weekend. We managed to get back to our respective homes earlier than normal, arranged to go for a chinese meal with John and maybe some beverages - well it is Friday, after all.

John was having a couple of beverages with his work colleagues, so we were playing catch up, having some lovely chinese beer in the Ruby restaurant. We ended up having Peking Duck pancakes for starters which was mmm, then I ended up having a Lemon and Honey Chicken with plain rice. This is pretty good and healthy for me, as normally I have fried rice, but Debbie told me I would be all fat and spotty if I had the fried rice, I am already, dont know what difference a plate of none fried rice will do!.

I promised to take John and Debbie to Wildes, where Mayo has been recorded, but when we got there, it was full of old hags and was ram packed, so we retired to the Jug and Jester, and got a bottle of wine and a pint in. John drinking the pint was saying he was tied, so left after that, leaving myself and Debbie to talk rubbish and find lovely ladies for me to talk too and flirt with. There was this foxy student, who was wearing, well, either a very low bit of underwear, or nothing at all - my mind was made up, and grinned for about 20 mins as the image of her going commando floated threw my mind.

A bottle of wine later and debbie suggested I was going a little red, a little like last week, not through blushing, so we decided to call it a night, and walked back to our homes. On the way, waving to random women and singing Blondie's "Call Me" - well, one line anyhow. Good night, relaxing and calm - for a change. Sent lovely Jess a couple of texts to see if she was OK - appears she's back next weekend - yay!

Ten Pin Bowling & the Gutter

Rich and I have been mates for years, and we've always said, we'd go to the Bowling place in Leam for a game, so he can give me a lesson in bowling and give me a good thrashing. This never happened, well til lastnight anyhow when we went out with a couple of people from work for a couple of beers and to stare at the lovely students.

John O's missus kindly dropped us off so we could all have beverages as its been a stressful week for most, and we walked in, avoided the rest of them to get to the bar, so loaded with pint glasses, chatted, chinwagged and got setup for the bowling. Earlier that week, I'd let slip to the students that Rich was a good bowler and had his own ball (and turned out his own hand grip) - which I accidently told him his ball called Pandy ( it turns out its called the Dark/Darth Destroyer, depends on how much booze Rich has had inside of him.

I got paired off with John O, Jay, his girlfriend Gillian, Sarah and the lovely Keely, while Rich ended up with some of the sales monkey's and Blunty (who didnt turn up). The bowling kicked off, one game, and I think everyone expected Rich to destroy everyone on the lane. Needless to say, after his first frame, I believe its called, hit the gutter twice, while I scored an 8. This was the theme for most of the night, with much piss take at Rich's expense. On my last frame, I had to get a spare or a strike, then get 2 or more, to beat everyone in our lane -which I managed, and came out with 114 or something. Mean while, next door, Rich was fuming, only reaching a total of 56, blaming it on, i) bad ribs ii) the lane being too slippy iii) the ball not being the usual standard and iiii) his ball being in the back of someone elses car.

The hardcore students left at that point, at 9pm, deciding bed was a good answer, as they were off to CentreParks in the morning, and staying up til 11pm would obviously tire them out. The older group decided beer in town was the call, so ended up in the Jug and Jester (again) for beverages and natter. We ended up staying in there til closing time and got kicked out, some went to TJs for more beverage, I decided bed at that point was probably a good thing, or I would end up in a gutter somewhere.

A great night out, even better when you win!

Tomtom to tom's birthday

Abbi invited me to her's and tom's pad as part of Tom's birthday celebration - which was nice - certainly because I've never been there, nor seen their dog (which I promised not to kill?!). We arranged to meet people in the Star and Garter - one of my fav pubs in town, so I walked up in the bitter cold - joined my John, Debbie, GazB, MC and Lord Nelson PFH, then ended up supping on a nice pint of speckled hen - mmmm.

After being rushed to finish my pint, we walked the streets of Leamington only to pass another pub, and have a quick pint of bitter in there, and then finally reached Toms abode. We said hello to everyone in the kitchen, got our drinks sorted, when Debbie re-introduced myself to the lovely Sarah who was at the New Year party a couple of years ago. I'd made sure that when she was upset and drunk at the party, she was well looked after, although she appeared not to remember to much of it, so reminded her of the fact - so we got chatting etc etc. At one point, invited me to move into her new flat in coventry as she cant cook, or anything really - I declinded, stating it was to early in our relationship, and maybe a drink first would be better.

Half of the group played computer games, the hardcore group such as myself, continued drinking, where I chatted to Debbie and Sarah a little more, even braved the cold outside to ensure she had company while she had a smoke. She was at the Colchester v Leam game back last year, so asked if she would be interested in coming up with us lot for the next home game.

Sarah left, and I ended up chin wagging with some of the locals, taking control of John's game when he went for a piss/grab a drink, mopping up spillage from the floor and having a laugh. Debbie was then found on the front door step, looking a lovely shade of eggshell white, so while John called for taxi, I kept her company and tried to make her smile, only to find out that she was sick. When I suggested that she should steal some breezeblocks in her handbag, she lifted her head and looked like something out of Kiss, the metal band, which both made us laugh.

Fair play to John's taxi call - 10 mins after the call, we got picked up and dropped off quick smart. Sleep was needed so I entered my normal coma.

Bad Head, Bad Loss

Two mornings in a row, two massive hangovers - that'll teach me to drink like the youth of today - oh well, at least I didnt have a 80 mile car trip to Hereford to watch the Brakes play Westfields, oh bugger I did. Its a known fact that I dont travel very well, so if I do go far, I tend to either drive or sit in the front. One eye on the tomtom, one eye on the front windscreen we gradually got hearer to Westfields, about 5 mile out, I broke the silence and asked to borrow Debbie's water bottle to rehydrate a little. I reckon another couple of miles and I would have barfed all over the place - very very close.

Skipping breakfast was probably a bad idea, but I was feeling so blah, so as soon as we turned up at the ground, paid our way in, I got myself a plate of chips, and sausage sandwich, god, it was bliss, but I was nearly ill then and there because I was so hungry. The game kicked off and you know its one of them days when the lino was calling offsides when he was 5 metres behind the line of play. The silence from the previous night broke and felt myself getting frustrated at the state of the officials, who at the time were being biased towards the home team, so much so, two identical tackles, one from each side, one team got a yellow card (us) and the other went away unpunished. We went in 2-0 up at half time after what I thought was a well ran performance, then after the restart (and a phone call from my mum), we just appeared not to give a damn.

A penalty later, a red card and 3 goals against us and the Men in Black sufficiantly pissing off the fans who drove 80 odd miles, we decided to head back home, not before telling the Ref exactly how it was - I'm not proud of the abuse, but proud to be following the Brakes, and annoyed that a man can just not bother at all - maybe too much guiness the night before. Final score - 3-2, to 2nd bottom of the league - thats football - expect upsets.

Lucky Charms!

After feeling like death all day from lastnight, whats the answer to everything ? Yes, St Patrick's day and more beverage. I nearly died about 3 times during the day thanks to the hangover from hell, I have to remember I'm getting old and cant do this anymore. I managed to crawl to the local shop to grab bread, baked beans and bacon, and cook up a fried breakfast - and suddenly my bodily functions kicked in again.

The plan for the night was, curry, guiness, guiness, slurred words, then coma, and thats roughly what happened, if you insert captain PFH, ensuring that we're marched from pub to pub on time, or DO 100 SITS UP SOILDER!! Myself, John, Debbie and GazB ended up in a posh curry house at the bottom of town, and it was very nice, apart from they dont serve alchohol, so Mr John had to grab some beers from costcutters.

PFH turned up just as we finished and marched us to the Pig, where it was rammed full of nutters, and that was just the barstaff. I sent a text to Rich saying we were in the Pig and if he wanted to pop along, he was welcome. Just as he turned up, we were informed that we were on the move, I stayed with Rich for a quick drink, as he'd walked all that way. We managed to scam some SPD hats from behind the bar, even tho we drank bud and vodka and coke. We caught up with the rest of them in Bowling Green, where that was full of crazies, although, the other side was full of fit birds. We moved onto the Townie House and had a quick beverage, on the way, Rich bid us good day.

We retired, as we usually do on a Friday, to the Jug and Jester, where we drank more Guiness - mmm - we managed to grab a nice located table where we watched the world go by and we had a laugh. Before going out, I bought some Lynx, just to see if the Lynx effect actually worked, and on the way back from the toilets, the foxy fiesty barmaid asked if she could have my hat, being a little drunk I could only say yes, so in return, I got a kiss. I was gobsmacked litterally, and couldnt talk, but just give sign language, steve style, to Debbie, who managed to pick up straight away what I was talking about.

A good night had by all, esp the streetwars that was kicking off just behind us as we walked home - with a clash of 2 groups, consisting of 4 per group. Nothing like SPD when you can hear knuckle or skull noises. Coma I think!

Rich's Big Night Out

Rich returned from Poland the other day, somehow managing to avoid being in the UK for his 30th birthday incase of some big scale stitch up. I did promise him that there would be no stitch up, no wind up, nothing, just a couple of gentle beers to celebrate his 30th - this still didnt work - even tho I am a man of my word.

Anyhow, after 2 days of suggesting it would be a good thing, it was too late to invite the usual suspects, ie, he decided at 4pm on the Thursday. Myself and Rich ended up in TJs for a couple of pints and took it easy, while along the street at the Jug and Jester, there was a leaving do for one of the techies from work - which we intended on meeting up later on. Nomes and Andy were supposed to meet us in TJs for a couple of swift ones, however, never appeared, so myself and Rich had a couple swift ones each, well, taking 90 mins. Well, we are getting told, you know!

After them two, we ended up in the Jug, surrounded by old familiar faces including Tom etc, so we got some more booze in, and chinwagged. I ended up talking to a different number of people, at one point someone blatently standing in front of us when we're chatting.

Nomes went paler than I am on a good day, so Andy took her home incase anything happened, we drank up and ended back in TJs for a quick beverage before rolling home to a alcohol based coma - not a very heavy night, you have to admit, maybe 5 pints and a bottle of alco-pops.

Deepheat : Urban myth or actually works ?

After my knackered ankle becoming more painful, I managed to pick up a can of deepheat in town at lunch time. I've seen it used on sports people, but you dont know if it just a psychological attempt to get people over it. However, I thouhgt I'd give it a whizz and sprayed it on my ankle. About 10 minutes later I noticed two things;

• My ankle was free to move around, and
• My kitchen stank

It appears to be working and I can bend it around, so apart from stinking (Hint: Dont spray it before you go out on the pull, its not Lynx deoderant), concrete proof it actually works.

Mayo, anyone ?

Lastnight, I watched the first episode of the first series of Mayo - a detective drama which stars Alistair McGowan - based in and around Leamington Spa. I was pretty excited, mainly because when it was being filmed, they were based in one of my locals for 3 days - and thought it would be pretty funny seeing it on the big screen.

The storyline was a little slow to kick off, but guess its always the same when you have a new series, but jumped around, and although not complex, lost the plot a little. The story was based around a "Therapy clinic" which in real life is the Botanical Gardens, where we had our Xmas meal/disco. Other places of interest, personal to myself, included Wildes, the funky wine bar at the time of town, but as yet, no Robbins Well.

Its on BBC1, Sundays, 8pm, if you fancy watching the next episode.

Happy 30th Birthday

Happy birthday to Mr Rich who is 30 today. So far, managed to have beer at 10:37 (UK time) and had breakfast in bed, waiter style. Spawny sod! Should see what sham I've got to deal with at work! Wait til you see your presents, that'll wipe the smile of your face. Have a good one tho!

Damn my Stom-luck

I was looking really forward to tonight, I had a text message from nice jess on friday afternoon saying she was back in town for the weekend. I sent a reply asking if she wanted more of the same like last time, maybe some wine, maybe some natter, maybe upgrading on the Steve Service to some food. She had a few plans, as did I, including football away, which then got called of due to a waterlogged pitch, but hey, what can you do about it.

I promised Rich I would keep an eye out for the chesterfield scores for him whie he was away in Poland, so sat about watching sky sports news, playing a bit of Lemmings and when I went to make some food, my stomach just knacked up (its a geordie phrase, dont worry) and couldnt do anything. Bloody typical, the one night I want to go out and meet up with someone, I bloody cant, so ended up getting a bath, curling up on the sofa and cursed my luck.

I send/received text messages to/from Jess, saying that she would be in town til Monday, so maybe we could catch up on Sunday at some point for a chinwag and drink. Somehow that made things a little better that I hadnt let her down, strange tho it sounds.

I watched Match of the Day, well, technically 5 minutes of it, got bored and ended up in bed around 11pm - how bad is that, I really am getting old!

Damn Lemmings!

I woke up feeling a bit rough today, it had nothing to do with the alcohol from lastnight, I just put it down to one of them days. I was up pretty early, around 10am, which is good for me at the weekend, so ended up surfing the web, catching up with news and chinwagging with Captain Rich out in Poland via MSN. I popped into town, took my fisheye camera and took a few random shots on the way up, and reached town - I pondered around and managed to get a glimpse of a game I've been after for a while for my PSP. Rich commented a while back saying that most PSP games are driving games or sports related, so it was nice to see that Sony had brought out the Legend that IS, Lemmings. Its a "game you can play for 5 minutes, or an hour". Yeah right, more like 4 hours while Sky Sports News was on.

Entertaining game, and yet, basic, its a little harder than the PC version, as you obviously dont have a mouse and the little wiggley joy stick doesnt actually move the cursor, it moves the screen from left to right, a mistake in my eyes. Still entertaining and gets the brain working, which in all honesty, was one of the reasons why I got it - and to hear the little fella's say "Yay", "Wahoo" and "Thank you" in their squeeky little voices.

Twisted

I suffered a twisted ankle a couple of weeks ago, and thought it had repaired itself, sadly this was not to be the case. Wednesday night football I took a swing at the ball, forgetting to move my standing leg a little and twisted it on the spot. Unfortunately, this was 10 minutes into a 60 minute game, and it began to hurt, quite alot, infact so much so, I tried to run to get the pain out and it was becoming worse, funnily enough. I swapped the teams around so that my team were not at a disadvantage with me being broken, sadly this wasnt enough.

At this point, everyone becomes an arm chair doctor, saying random things like "you want to but ice on that", "you want to strap that up tightly", "oh, you wont play for a couple of weeks with that now" etc etc.

I decided to take some of the advice of "Doctor sofa", unfortunately, the only items I had that were frozen included 4 x Quarter Pounders, and a bag of Frozen French Fries. So 2 hours later, smelling like I work for Burger King I was still in massive pain and decided a glass of wine and an early night was the plan.

Woke up this next morning, unable to move my foot around, luckily the Thursday lunch time game had been called off.

Tea for 4?!

I ended up at the doctors this morning for one thing and another. Picked up a leaflet about tea, saying having 4 cups of tea is healthy, stating it has all kinds of goodness as well as providing you with the bulk of the liquid you need on a daily basis to allow your body to work correctly. It also mentioned that depending on how much milk you have in it, it can provide up to 16% of the calcium needed to help your bones.

MMMedicine Tea!

Locked Stocked and Barrelled

Typical isnt it, I had a bit of a sleep in, first time for a while, and then decided to catch up with some shopping in town, including food shopping. I didnt have much food left in the cupboards, so decided I needed some, and with the weather like it is, and maybe the onslaught of bird flu, best stock up. I managed to get myself dressed around 2pm and got my arse into gear, and ponderd out towards the canal, it looked cold, looked like it was going to snow, so got a bit of pace on.

I got to the front door and twisted the handle to let myself out - nothing - wouldnt move - nightmare. I took some WD40 to it, seeing if I could loosen it up a little, still nothing - and I can only assume that the weather had effected the lock and frozen it up. Using my locksmith knowledge, I decided to take a hammer to the whole thing, and somehow, and I dont know why, broke the lock all together.

I had to call a locksmith, first time that I've had to do this, and the first people Dynolocks were not very helpful, promising "7 days a week, 24 hours a day service - with no call out charge". Sadly the bloke called me back saying he was "a little too busy and had enough on". I decided, bugger the corporations (esp when he tried to charge me 100 quid an hour, excluding lock replacement) - so called a local company.

Within an hour, he was there, trying all kind of things, then, took a drill to the lock as it was completely shafted. I made the fella a cup of coffee while he drilled and made his way into my ally way, replaced the lock and charged me something like £95 for a job well done. Was tempted to charge him 20 quid for a cup of coffee, but thats not the geordie way. By this time it was too late and the shops had closed, John and Debbie returned from their canal'ing "holiday" and popped around to see the new lock in working order. The nice man even tightened up the hinges on the door and offered me free security advice - nice chap.

Saturday Stratford Show

The local "derby" of stratford town and leam was on today, and I was quite eager to see the game. John and Debbie disappeared on their holiday with the rest of the GSX gang and chums the night before, however Debbie was interested in turning up for the game, and I said I would pick her up from the towpath somewhere in Warwickshire.

Around 2.25pm, I received a text from Debbie saying they were about 3 miles from Leam and would I go pick her up, so after watching PFH doing a 5 point turn in the canal and then allowing debbie to jump off, we raced up to NWG to take our places. The game was chocker, with us having to park on the farmers lane about 5 minute walk from the ground. We got there 4 mins into the game and it was a little poor, but we picked up in the 2nd half, with Leam's Leon Morgan scoring with 6 minutes left to go.

I dropped Debbie off in Warwick and coasted back to leam on no fuel, then arranged to meet up with Rich in the boozer somewhere after I got warmed up and changed. It was a nice social affair, chatting, chinwagging and laughing at the local chavs. We ended up having 4 pints, I had an empty stomach so had the munchies, and with no food in, scrambled together chicken nuggets, potatoe wedges and baked beans. I also manged to get the hicups twice in a day - for the first time since about 1982 - annoying Rich mainly - which is half the laugh.

Eye Eye!

I woke up this morning, with tired heavy eyes. This happens to everyone, once in a while, however for some reason I was a little concerned, mainly because I had such a long sleep - maybe thats the reason. Rather than doing what Doc Warburton does, ie, sitting on my fat arse doing bugger all about it, I decided to call the Boots Opticians and make an appointment - luckily they had a free slot at 3.20pm and booked myself in.

I havent had my eyes tested for a while, well, 10 years at least, so it was refreshing to rediscover the attractiveness of the optician ladies - purr! My initial test consisted of 3 tests;

• Blowing cold air into my eyes
• Looking down a road with a hot air balloon at the end of a screen.
• Counting the number of dots on a screen

I did have to laugh a bit, with science advancing so quickly - they still checked my eyes with air, on/off dots on a screen.

I then had to see someone else, who done more tests - this time the stereotypical ones of letters, numbers, dots, colours etc. I like to know whats going on, so shielding the paper and writing while looking at me - doesnt help my confidence! After putting some "glasses" on me, then shining the brightest light down my eyes, writing a little more, and placing the heaviest full stop on the paper, she sighed. Glasses, I was actually getting used to the fact that I would have to wear them, esp after being told twice to go look at them while I was waiting to be seen. However, sadly, I have good eyesight and done need them, so no need for frames around my head or "looking like Professor Yaffle" as Rich suggested - cheers mate!

Perfect Saturdays

As saturdays go in the world of the steve, today has been near on perfect as you can get. Last night was great, and after leaving the group in the jug due to feeling a bit blah, I managed to get a decent night sleep and wake up at a good time (10am). I had a text from a friend saying they were back in town, and would I like to meet up for a drink, chat and catch up - of course, I didnt think for less than a heartbeat to say yes.

Due to Newcastle playing at home against everton and kicking off at 17:15, I decided to skip the Brakes away game to Oadby Town. I lent my tomtom to John and Debbie, just to make sure they got there safely and also in time, and in return, had the promise of the goals/full time text messages from one of them. NUFC v Everton wasnt the only reason, one of which was the fact a friend was back in town, and also my sisters (and Emily's) birthday was fast approaching, and had to sort a few things out.

Brakes managed to win 3-0 (my prediction was 2-0) and apparently a couple of the regulars were asking after me - which is nice. It's not an ego thing, but its nice to be asked about when you dont really know many people at a club that is pretty small. Anyhoo, after trying to rig up my PC so it could fetch enough bandwidth of ChineseTV via internet, and failing, I had to use the backup of text message and radio (DAMN BROADBAND ROUTER!!!) Anyhow, Newcastle won 2-0 and I had to get ready for meeting of "the" friend.

This is gonna stay cryptic, but I really do have so much time for this person, not on an attraction level, but also on a personal level. They have the power to make me smile, just because they are in the same room - and I just dont know how that works - and some times it scares me - like a small child trapped in a tight jumper. Anyhoow, I go on a tangent that my blog/mind has often had the piss taken out of. We met up after her brother dropped her off, had a quick pint and chatted, and ended up in the lounge, had a cocktail, chatted, I smiled, and bumped into Geordie Mike.

We ended up in Wildes, an old haunt of mine from days gone ex, and we got wine in and chatted. I have to admit, over the years, its been me asking & leading questions, finding out, and to my suprise, I felt it was a two way thing and I really enjoyed it. As mentioned, its just not an attraction thing, its more than that, I dont know what it is, however they made it perfectly clear that they were seeing someone, and at that point, its the first time I've ever felt the "wonder years" situation. You know, small child speaking for you without you using your lips - scary, never happened to me before. Yes, I talk to myself, more often than speaking outloud to be brutely honest, but never feeling my mind taking the conversation away from me. Anyhow, my "wonder years" voice told me at that point, it was pure friendship, nothing more, and it was a different kind of caring, one like caring for a sister - if that makes sense.

She seemed very happy, the happiest I've ever seen her for a long while, so who am I to take that away from her. Dont get me wrong, not for one second did I think anything would and could have happened that saturday night - which is a bit of a shame - but reality.

After a bottle of wine and chinwagging, we walked to the top of town, where her mum was waiting, I got introduced, I waved and blushed abit. This is mainly due to the fact that her mum saw me on the webcam and said nice things about me - and my friend was worried that her mother was developing somekind of crush. I left them too it, wandered all the way back home, avoiding the drunk people talking to the shop window dummies in House of Frasier, avoiding the people who were just out for a fight. I've sat down, with a short, typed this as it really has been a fantastic night, and I'll save this as a draft and check it in the morning.

magical world of McVities

I ran out of milk this morning - always the way on a friday morning after a couple of glasses of water. After popping out in the freezing cold, with enough change to purchase a 2 pint bottle of milk, and a 20 quid note in my pocket, I stumbled across a promotion stand for Jaffa Cakes.

They had the traditional jaffa cakes, and a sign saying buy 2 for 99p - "mmm", I thought, then noticed different colour boxes - a purple colour, and then a greeny yellow colour. Turns out they've brought out two new ranges, blackcurrent (half way through a box of 12 now) and Zingy Lemon and Lime flavour!.

An information box also says, "Each McVitie's Jaffa Cake contains lots of energy, and only 1.0g of far per cake. That is why they are recommended by sports nutristionists." Bonus - you eat jaffa cakes and get fit!.

Update :- all gone!

in the land of make believe

Its strange, and I dont know how to control it - I like being in control of situations. For the last couple of months, I've been having nightly dreams about one person - really just cant get her out of my head. Its not like we have daily interaction, infact, I think the last time I actually saw her was before Xmas when we went for a coffee on a sunday in town. So, why the dreams ? You dont interact with someone, you dont have phone calls with them, you get the odd work-instant message from her - so how come she's constantly in my mind ??

Nevermind about the dreams, what do you do about it, is she interested at all ? I take it by the text messages I've sent and that she hasnt replied too, thats probably a negative, but under the circumstances, I understand, and know she's got a shed load on in life at the moment.

I went into the office yesterday, hoping to "bump" into her, and I've been feeling a little run down, mainly on the exuberance of american style fast food and outcome of it brining me out in rather nasty looking spots. I've spent the full week running up to Thursday's office trip, by trying to make me look as human as possible, and also attractive enough for her to, and this is where it sounds strange, like me again.

Stefan, a pro, for a change!

OK, I admit it, I've been putting it off for months, but I've eventually gone with the flickr pro account. The normal account was fine, but it meant that I had to time when I wanted to upload files online, sometimes, leaving no room at the end of the month (monthly upload of 20Mb) if I wanted to share some newer files. The pro account gives you something like 2Gb upload a month, and also allows you to create more than 3 "sets". It works out to be something poor like $2 a month to keep photos online, which personally, its the first time I've paid for an online service (no jokes please!!) and more than happy.

Anyhooo, my flickr account is : http://www.flickr.com/photos/docwharton/

ooh nice daffs sir!

Last week I blogged a photo of the first flower in my patio, however, always had a soft spot for Dafs. This is the first one to sprout up, out of about 40 of them that myself and Pippa planted when she came to stay last year.

A flower, today

Bring on the ducklings, moorhenlings and swanlings ;o)

Hrm - Mondays!!

I woke up at 7am, to my phone giving me an alert to Emily's birthday. I dont know if its supposed to alert a week before, or if I was just dumb enough to get the wrong week - anyhow, needless to say, I was a bit miffed that I was up early and sent a text to Emily saying Happy Birthday when it wasnt.

I managed to roll over and get another 60 mins worth of sleep, when the people up stairs with clogs decided to jump down each stair at a time - dont know why they do it, however, I've come to the conclusion, my cursing doesnt effect them. After getting up and showered (before 10am is good for me) I made myself a cup of tea, only to work out that the milk was 2 days out of date - and I made three massive starbuck size mugs of tea. This of course made my stomach churn a tad, but, I needed tea, so ended up popping to the corner shop getting milk, and somehow, £19 worth of other things - how, I dont know.

The day so far, as been, interesting, but quiet in terms of nutcases trying to such my brains dry - maybe its half term and most of the workshy crazies are on holiday. Logging in was amusing, finding a block of 4 emails together, asking people to "see pavaroti", "join yoga" and "would you like to see the doll show at the NEC" - and people wonder why we have problems. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure if I enjoyed looking and smiling at dolls, stretching my legs around my head, or listening to a fat man sing in a language I cant understand - I reckon I would be interested. Just not when I'm working!

Newcastle have just drawn Chelsea away in the FA cup - looks like thats our exit, however it SO could have been Leamington v Newcastle. Well, only if we'd scored 9 more goals against Colchester, got through the next round and then beaten Chelsea. I'm hoping by that time, we (newcastle this time) would have Owen back and maybe a couple of other members of the squad back. Tempted to take a wander down to London village for this - depending on the price of the tickets - and the fact its a weeknight kick off - slightly putting me off. lets face it, the state of the chelsea pitch, it would be like a weekend at the coast, with the amount of sand on it - surely there has to be a rule against it.

Sunday Lunch

My foot and ankle has been a little sore recently. I think I twisted it a couple of weeks ago when playing football and damaged a muscle and it just hasnt heeled up. I popped into town to get a support bandage to see if I could the damn thing heel up before Wednesday night (and Thursday). I've been after a number of things on my shopping list recently, but been a little lazy and not bothered, but strangely enough, seem to have a new found boost of energy, with getting up "early" both Saturday and Sunday.

I feel that I've always had a mathematical and science brain, but let down the other parts of my brain, so decided to do something about it for a change. I'm keeping it quiet for the time being, but I have given myself a number of challenges to complete that are none technical - just to see if I can get my brain active again. Guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm sick of drifting around. I dont wish to mention what it is at the moment, because if I dont do anything, or fail, I dont want people pointing the finger and laughing, or taking the piss.

Anyhooo, after picking up some Clinique Happy aftershave (as the american's dont appear to stock it - damn them!) I sent a text to John and Debbie asking if they fancied some lunch in town, to which they were on their way anyhow, so we met up. I had roast beef etc, Debbie copied (tut) and John had a very nice looking sandwich.

After lunch, we went our different directions, I went and bought healthy food from M&S as I'm trying to loose some weight and get fitter over the next couple of days. I managed to get home just as it started getting a bit nippy, then tucked myself up and played Sims2 on my PSP, made a cup of tea and finally watched the most boring Televised FA Cup game in the world.

Anyhow, ended up having a decent early night, feel this week is going to be a good one! yay!

Return of the troubled twosome

John and Debbie returned from NY today! I've been looking after their gaff for the week - you know, usual stuff, bringing the post in, and thought, wouldnt it be nice to get them some milk and bread to ensure they can just sit down when they get back. I've always thought that this is the best way to chill after a holiday - cup of tea, sandwich, shower, relax.

I had a text from Debbie saying they were on their way back - assuming they'd just got back via passport control and would be about 2 more hours - Debbie asked, if I wanted some food, assuming nothing to do with america - but no, if I wanted MacDonalds. So, who am I to say no - and 10 mins later had a text saying come next door to collect the food. Stunned, shocked and nearly wasting away, I had delivered a burger, fries and strawberry milkshake. For all I know - they could have brought it back from America.

Leaving them to unpack and shower ( I had a terrible story about John not showering for for about 48 hours or some sort) and catch up on gossip. A little later, John popped around with some supplies I'd asked to have picked up - including a new 2Gb PSP memory card & Clinique products.

We arranged to pop down for a curry, and have some beverages - hoping to keep them awake as long as possible to readjust into UK time and not get jetlag - after King Babba's we ended up in the jug for what I assumed would be 3 pints and them on the floor. Sadly, it had the reverse effect and after 4 pints I was close to sleeping right then and there - only for John and Debbie insisting that we have 2 more rounds. Just before midnight we ended up leaving, and heading home - me enterting a coma based on mainly Fosters and waking up at 9.30am

Back to the footballing ways

Wednesday saw the return of something very rare in my life - scoring on Wednesday football night. Its a little harder to get a goal these days, mainly because of the standard that actually plays - and also down to the fact that there are alot of showboaters - who'd rather beat 5 players, and take a shot on target. I'd like to think my skills have been improving a little over the last couple of months - and rather than shooting or one touching, I'm running and taking on players.

Of course, I phoned my mother up to say hi etc, and tried to explain this feeling of being about to run, pass and shoot - basically every 11 year old child can do. Although it came out the wrong way, I tried to reexplain the situation, however, just made it sound even more "gayer" than the first time - and eventually give up just to save blushes.

Sadly Thursday football was cancelled, so not getting into the swing of things - all seems stop and start! Boo!

Spring is here ?

DSC01100
Originally uploaded by docwharton.

While on a conf call this morning, I poked my head out the front door to get some fresh air. I found that some flowers are started to, well flower, sadly, none of the daffs have yet tho - but they are looking strong.

Wot no Blog?!

Whoops, kinda got carried away with this none blogging action. Well in a nutshell, what have I been up too ? mostly watching Leam FC play football, laughing at comical own goals at Causeway Town, drinking for birthday, and also a near week of giving up too.

The day after my birthday (2nd) I ended up playing football, without guiness on my stomach, and feeling a little bit more fitter than I did on the 1st. I managed to score three goals in the game, which kinda lifted my feelings up. Thursday just gone, managed to have a stonking game, where for the first time, I was running and controlling the ball, rather than 2 or 3 touch passing. Felt good, and when I explained it to my mother, made me sound like a little kid, but tried to explain that I never really used to play at school, so infact I'm playing catch up with the big kids now. It feels good tho, being able to take giant strides, running, being able to beat people and take on the keeper.

On a brighter note, NUFC decided to get rid of Agent Souness who was taking us down to the Coca Cola Championship. This was a perfect birthday present, the Wednesday night we got tonked 3-0 by Man City - so finding out lunch time the next day that he's been sacked, brought a smile to my face - only annoying thing is he got away with 2million quid - for being shit! Wish work would give me 2 million to walk away for doing a shit job. Next Stop - Football Management!!

In the same week, Sir Shearer (to you and I) managed to get his 201st club goal for Newcastle United - excitement and hair on the back of the neck, and for a change, the club going in the right direction, with back to back wins against Pompey (2-0) and Villa (2-1) - steering, hopefully, away from the relegation zone. Unfortunately, this makes Rich's bet, null and void, although I reckon he could have done with 1200 quid this year.

After a couple of beverages over birthday period, I decided to give up for a week, which lasted 6 days - which is pretty good going, but it was to celebrate the news of my mother selling her house finally, and the fact she was sending me some cash - which isnt too shabby at all. There are supposed to be some photos that Debbie/John and I took for my birthday - however, they are on Debbie's Camera, and we'll have to wait til they get back from US of A.

John and Debbie are away in NY, so I'm keeping an eye on their place, and thankfully, nothing has happened. I always get a little worried when people leave me in charge of their place while on vacation or business, incase something happens - like floods, fires, gas leak - now crap, did I switch that tap off?!?

That concludes the news in brief - I'll have to remember to update more often, I think.

Things not to do #1

Drink Guiness at Lunch time - then play football at 6pm and expect to be fast! Funnily enough, it has the reverse effect and slows you right down.

31 - not so bad ... is it ?

I was told by a friend last year, that turning 30 isnt the problem, its 31 - because you're beyond the age of 30 and at that point, life is down hill - oh how I laughed, but at the back of my mind, thought it might come back to haunt me. Yes, I'm 31, but, as far as I'm aware, I'll full of decent health, have good friends that I trust and have a good social life - and, well a decent well paid job.

When I woke up this morning, I had one eye on reality, and one eye trying to work out why drinking a full bottle of white wine on my own, followed by southern comfort, was making my head bang. I havent taken any time off this year, as, its just another day really now - but made every effort to be "busy" and not get stressed. After picking up the cards my family sent down, I went out to pick the mystery present John and Debbie had promised me, after they said they would drop it off in the early hours (they have keys to my front door). I have never laughed so much, so early in the morning when I found this in my alleyway.

Anyhow, after sorting my mail out and doing "work", Rich kindly phoned up to wish me a happy birthday and invite me down TJs for a swift one *. To which I had a bit of Veggie allday breakfast, couple of soft drinks and a natter with Rich and the lovely bar lady, and even invited her on Holiday after her "I do football, drinking and look very sexy" view on life. After two rounds of softdrinks, I couldnt take anymore, so indulged in some guiness, knowing this would impact my footballing abilities later on. Typical to the "women front" of late, sexy barmaid is seeing a "pecker" as Rich suggested, and he was right.

Plans for this afternoon, play football, then sup slowly down the Well, watching football with some drinking mates, trying to forget how old I am.

All in all, 31 - not a bad way to start a new age, and yes, made a couple of wishes and birthday resolutions.

* Warning - might be two hours