washing away the unclean

Its be about 2 and a half years missing in the premiership, and technically about 14 days worth of pure stress for me - but the return of the tyne and wear derby - aka Newcastle United v the unwashed mackems was on the fixture. Its always the time of the year, when bragging rights are available to the winners, and its 12 months (or longer) til you can at least get them back. I know there is the celtic / rangers, spurs / arsenal, man city / manure, milan x2 etc etc - but the end of the day - nothing is as big as this, there isnt any bigger rivalry between two sets of teams and fans.

Pippa was going to the match and after a couple of texts, you know she was going crazy in the head - and frustrated because the game wasnt over right then and there. The news that Owen wasnt playing was eating every geordie up around the world - and made the fight for 3 points even hotter than a hot thing in hotland.

Rich was on about putting a bet on - because it matters more when theres money on it - and I still dont really know if he did or not - although he was swearing and cursing at sunderland at full time. Rich turned up about 10 mins after kick off, and I was already panicing - sunderland made a harsh challenge on Emre in the first 30 seconds and they got a yellow card for it. Ameobi managed to score a powering header, only for the unclean to claw one back 90 seconds later, Ameobi scored a second (from a header again) - for yet again, sunderland to score again. This was truely an advert for english football, and certainly for the north east.

We were watching this from the Well, and normally everyone is pretty chatty to each other - however, the black and white shirts, kept well away from the red and whites - not even a nod, not even a smile within 2 hours - even at the bar, toilets or if someone needed to get past a table or chair. The 2nd half kicked off, and again, Newcastle dominated the game, with the return of solano and emre - our quality started to shine through, and then fantastic, Emre scoring from a free kick - in off the post - fantastic - 3-2 - this time, the geordie nation prayed that we could keep the unwashed away from our goal for the remainder of the game.

We were very luckly - the width of a crossbar (Elliot chipped Given for the ball to bounce back out) we were sailing home free, with 3 points safely tucked under our captain's hat. Our win took us to the top of the bottom half of the table, the unwashed heading back into the relegation zone. After all that happened at wigan last weekend - we needed this, not just for the league, not just for the club, but for the players, the fans and once again, to instantly shut up any gobby mackem scum who starts to mouth off.

Advantage : Newcastle

The Magic of the Cup Roadshow

An early start to the day, as a trip to West Yorkshire was the plan to watch Leam FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifier Round to the FA Cup. Alot was to play for - a passage into the 1st round of the FA Cup proper - and I'd originally invited Bluntarian and Headworth for a trip to taste the delights - however both shyed off.

Anyhooo, the plan was to set off around 10am - and get up early - however, due to a bottle of wine lastnight, my eyes were wtill gel'd together and ended up leaving around 10:40 - getting petrol on the way. I had to take my own car, as John and Debbie were visiting John's parents down in Wales - so had a number of options on the cards - sadly, with the Newcastle v Sunderland game on live tv tomorrow - I came back. John and Debbie must had have about 25 mins head start, so wanted to catch up with the - and by the M1/M69 junction, I caught up with the first car with a Brakes scarf in the back window. Just after Nottingham, I managed to catch up with the cheeky pair and we took it in turns to lead.

We got there about 2 hours after me setting off from my gaff - which isnt too bad - and with Leeds being 10 mile north - reckon I can get to Leeds in about 2 hours 30 tops now. Anyhooo, first thing we done in Ossett Town was find a pub that sold food, and had toilets - which we did - and it was very nice. We timed it so well, that just as we sat down, there was 100s of Brakes fans piling in - and once we had our food - we wandered around the quaint little town and then headed to the ground. It was a strange place, with an even stranger triagle shaped practice pitch behind it - the grass was long - and the pitch quality was poor. We moved around a bit, and some guy offered to buy my programme for 5 quid (paid £1.50) - but we settled on 2 quid - because I'm so nice. Kick off came and went, and to be fair Ossett dominated the first 10 mins - over powering the Brakes, out running - then all of a sudden Ossett just slowed down.

The one thing that Ossett now has in common with the silver screen - Green Street - I know football is about opinions - however, I had the misfortune to stand about 10 metres away from Burberry wearing twats, trying to cause fights and problems within the first half. Of course, the sucker punch, Ossett scored from a corner in the 10th minute (John had 11 mins on the Guess the Goal Compo) to which the Burberry wearing twats starting to mouth off a little. We managed to pull one back (as well as having a goal chalked off for some strange reasoning) and the twats starting to get more and more mouthier. By half time, we were 2-1 up and thankfully, justice had finally shone upon the ground - as the foul mouth chavs were escorted from the ground. We had certainly taken control from the 10 min onwards and it was a fantastic game to watch - as the passion from the fans certainly kicked in.

After half time, we once again dominated and should have scored more goals, but we got pegged back to 3-2 and a man sent off - with "1 minute of injury time" left to play, last lasted at least 4, we were all on the edges of the concrete slabs and panicing that they could pull back to 3-3 - taking us back to the New Windmill. The final whistle eventually was blown, and if by magic, it started to rain - I'd like to call them god's tears of joy.

The FA Cup 1st round proper was ours - and was also bring drawn about 17:10 - thanks to Rich who text'd me the oposition - Colchester - away! Matches being played the weekend of 4/5/6th November

Att: 900

BACK TO BASICS WEEKEND

The official weekend of BACK TO BASICS has begun - please enjoy your new found freedom and enjoyment of not wearing pants - please feel free to use the graphics anywhere you like - print them out and place them on bus shelters and in shop windows.

No Pants for me!

Or Me!

First Cup of the Season

Another cold, wet, misry of a tuesday night - and it must mean that the Brakes are playing at home, and myself and John are popping up to watch them. A nice change to have a "friendly" game between Cov Sphinx - which allows us to keep one eye on the FA Cup Game at the weekend, but also have a good run around, without risking key players and cup/league position.

Around 200 spectators turned up to watch the match, which was end to end stuff, and very entertaining. It did look like it was going to be a cricket score but in the end, final score was 5-1 to the Brakes - winning "The Tony Allden Memorial Trophy" who apparently got killed in a lightening storm many years ago.

On the plus side - we've now sorted out our supports club membership - and now fully paid up. YAY!

Ecky Thump - Just what to do ?!?

Next weekend, Leamington FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifying round of the FA Cup - just outside of Leeds, my old stomping ground many years ago. So I'm a bit of a pickle to what to do. I have a couple of days left in holiday from work - so could take Friday and Monday off, and spend time around the place, and with John and Debbie visiting John's folks straight after the game, I've come to the following options.

• Drive up and Drive back down after the game
• Stay in Leeds friday and catch up with some old friends around Horsforth and Pudsey
• Go up to newcastle friday, come back saturday via Ossett
• Go to Ossett, then up to newcastle - come back Monday
• Go up with Bluntarian and Headworth and sham around Leeds and try showing them around my old places

One thing is for sure, I do miss the damp wooden smell of Headingly - esp this time of the year.

John's superdooperfantasticalldaybeersesssion #2

To celebrate John's birthday, he arranged a chinese buffet meal, followed by an all day session around NE leamington. Not only had I sat through a dismal game and watching the "mightly" wigan and their 12th and 13th men (Ref and Lines man) triumph against the lowly minnows of Newcastle United, but also had to battle around town to get a) home and b) back into town. Rich and I eventually arranged to meet up with John and his now fed gang in a pub, while I sorted my sham out and Rich fed himself - and in between, arranged to meet none other than Captain Bluntarian.

So there we were, heading into an area of town, which if you're honest, you dont very often - sadly - its a nice area - and my fav pub from last year, the (Jimmy) Sommerville where the bulk of the Team were playing pass the pigs. Two pints heavier, we moved onto the Holly Bush, then the Cask at which point Rich made his excuses and left. All the way way back in the Sommerville, Captain Bluntarian was suggesting a curry, as he was starving, only eating a babybell since he got back from Canada - and it was a quest getting closer to his goal heading slowly down town. We popped into the Newbold Brasserie for a final drink, then into Milleniyummy for our meal - which was very very nice.

The group was getting smaller and smaller by the second - MC and Laura ended up going home to try on some oils or something - Garry reckson they were lezzing up, then by the time we got to the Jug, it was down to John, Debbie, Captain Bluntarian, Gav, Tracy and I. At this point, drink had deffo kicked in and the "Brian Blessed says ..." game kicked in. Photos were taken of the event, including two girls necking off with each other (Debbie, you still have to send me as promised) and "xyz looking angry and evil" photos. Last orders were ran, and we got into trouble for calling last orders as Brian Blessed would have ("Ahhh, Flash, Time gentlemen PLEEEASE") and ended up on the street. John and Debbie wandered in the direction of home - and being 00:30 - Myself and Blunty tried to get into the Well, only to be told by the bouncer that we were already an hour late and they couldnt let us in, although they did know that we were regulars and have seen us around before.

After 5 mins and being persistant like a pitbull and a small child's leg, they suggested that the Police were watching them because of some incident and would love to let me in, however they couldnt let me in the front door. I suggested that maybe the backdoor was left open and we could accidently fall in. Blunty just laughed and said that this had now chance of working out - and the chances are, they would all be laughing at us, from the other side of a locked door - and us looking like fools. True to the mans word - we got around and with a grin on his face, the door was opened quickly and blunty being so impressed - 12 drinks would be coming my way.

The lovely ooffyy was there - purrr, and we had a chin wag and apparently I smell nice - which is a nice change to being told that im a "skanky crackwhore and I should get out the pub". She is deffo in my top 20 females I'd bite my own arm off to be with *starts nibbling*

I'm assuming we left when beverages ceased to flow - only based on the fact that I woke up in my bed this morning with a beating head and felt like a badger had slept in my mouth overnight. Oh well, Happy Birthday John!

Wi-gan'ing home with no points

I ended up drinking a bottle of wine lastnight and having a chat with an old friend on MSN - and after watching DVD and TV - it was about 1am when I got to bed. I wanted to get up at a decent time, get into town, sort some stuff out - and have enough time to watch the Wigan - Newcastle down the Well, before hooking up with John for his annual birthday all day beer session around North East Leam.

I slept in, sleeping thru two alarm calls, and eventually waking up to Debbie asking if I wanted to join her on her Saturday trip to the gym. I declined and made myself a cuppa and read the news papers online - eventually getting a shower and recieving a text from Rich with Nintendogs in it - all very strange. I even told him about a strange dream I had, where he and I were in a lecture at a uni, where the tutor was playing music and asking the class to name the band and song - Rich and I won.

I met Rich down the well (well, I was about 5 mins late) and from the look he was giving me - I knew we were under pressure already. I ordered some food and sat down and we chinwagged about the state of football, the state of the high street in leam etc etc.

Just before half time, Wigan managed to score from a deflection of Shay Given - which should have been saved in my opinion - and my mood got gradually worse. The "Ref" looked like he was on the Wigan payroll by some of the decisions he was making - very very poor, again in my opinion. You just know when luck isnt on your side, when shearer clearly headed a ball over the line - only for the aging linesman to disagree.

Anyhoo, insert loads of crap decisions and 30 mins of poor passing and the final result (1-0) took Wigan to 2nd in the league - only for Ben (bar dude) to gloat alot in my face. Ended up coming home to get dressed for this afternoon and awaiting a call from John etc to where to meet them.

Hope my mood improves - football misery is taking over, slowly

Loosing something, and its not my marbles

I took an old friend out lastnight for a drink and a meal. Appears it was her birthday last week and she just returned from her holiday - she was due to have a session lastnight - but due to a number of people cancelling, I felt bad and asked her out to be sociable. There was nothing in it - whatsoever - and after being reminded on how great her Irish bf is - I knew this would be completely plutonic from now on - even telling her to behave herself at the up and coming Xmas Party at work.

Anyhoo, she managed to cheer me up by saying that I've lost weight - crazy how some simple things and words can mean alot to someone. I've never been confident about myself that much, and always paranoid what people think and say to me - some of which I just laugh and shrug off - but was nice to get a compliment such as that.

Anyhooo, after a quick pint in the Jug, then a Pizza and bottle of wine and Piccolino's - we returned to the Jug for a quick chat, and she was off to see her bf - so I returned home - had a bottle of old speckled hen - and ended up in a coma.

Happy Birthday Mum

~~~~ Happy Birthday !! ~~~~

wot no glory hunters ?

You knew from the off, it was going to be a wet, cold night - as soon as I left my flat, it started spitting with rain - but the optimist that I am, I thought it would blow over. Luckily I wore my winter jacket - well I say winter jacket, I havent worn it for two years due to the warmth of Warwickshire. I buzzed John (Debbie couldnt make it due to work) and give him a lift up - armed with his sensible umbrella and sporting a massive grin.

Anyhooo, tonight was Leamington v Oldbury (remember, we lost 4-1) in the Birmingham County Senior Cup (Round 2 - we got a bye in the first round) and the away players turned up in jumper suits - looking like something out of a Beastie Boys video. We were 1-0 by half time and it looked like easing up (even then still looking on the brightside of life). The first touch in the second half went in the back of the net to make it 2-0 to the brakes - nanoseconds before hand, a bunch of kids said, "Thats a shit freekick and will never go in"

" We hate racing, we hate racing, we hate racing .... we hate racing"

We made it 3-0, then endured 15 mins of pressure - and heavy rain - and with a couple of minutes of normal time left - we were pegged back to 3-2 by some terrible defending and we started to take our mind off the game. Luckily for us, the Ref was getting soaked and blew the whistle for full time - punting us through to the next round. 273 people attended (more than NUFC v MUFC reserves - so I'm told) so a massive dive from the glory hunting "fans" from the FA Cup Qualifier at the weekend - but still brilliant. On top of that, we've applied for Supporter's Club Membership - so need to find out more about that shortly.

Does have to be said tho, although we were out in the rain (I dont mind the rain, John was stood clutching his umbrella) - hats off to the two lads at the North Bank side of the ground who sang their hearts out who got even damper than what I was.

Vote Rodman : Brakes Party

The FA have announced the voting for the 3rd Qualifier Player of the Round - and luckily, Leamington FC's Rodman has been included in the voting. The vote goes on until next Monday - but more importantly the winner of the round gets 1000 quid to spend on football gear for a local school, community group. Please logon to www.thefa.com and cast your vote.

Rodman, a winner!

If the process is the same as last year - then Rodman also gets invited to the FA Cup Final as VIP and wins a trophy - THINK OF THE KIDS!!!

He's currently in at around 40% of the votes - with Peters and Booth fighting it out a close 2nd - make it count.

Anger Management - Stefan Style

Another stressful morning, however, rather than taking it out on my PC, colleagues or randomly abusing people - I decided to use it to my advantage and take it out on the gym kit - after all, I pay 30 odd quid a month for the priv of a building being there. Over the last 3 years of gyming, I've done a "12 minute running/walking/run every minute program" and eventually just gets a little boring. I wanted to get a little more stamina in my legs so I could run around in football for longer, faster and not be completely worn out at the end.

Next to the 12 minute program, there was a 24 minute program, so assumed it was similar, however, 4 mins into the new program, I was well into some cross country exercise - with steep inclines, quick drops simulated by the running machine. I dont pretty well, got up to 22 mins without stopping, but needed a break as it went into its final decline - or I would have just fallen off the machine - so there you go, nearly 3 mile in 24 mins and the back of my leg muscles aching.

When I got back, I had the offer for an offsite meeting down the boozer - however, sticking to diet soft drinks, I was starving and tucking into a bacon and melted cheese sandwich at The Cape - MMM - it was nice, but didnt really feel the benifit of the exerise.

Anyhoooo, when I got back to my gaff, I closed the front door, knacking the lock - and having to spend 20 mins fixing that - obviously finding strength I never knew I had. Once I returned to my laptop to work - I felt slightly more relaxed and hardly any vains popping out of my forehead - although, they some how moved to my legs :o/

Back to Basics : An event for one and all.

Stefan Warburton is happy to announce the following event - Back to Basics 2005. The event is aimed any male and females, young and old - and its trying to get everyone back to basics and back to nature. I now bring you, official commando day of the year 2005, that not only gives you have the opportunity to reduce the washing for a day or so, but also gives you the opportunity to walk around with a smile on your face.

Thanks to Captain Cowie, the following official graphics have been designed so you can show your support to Back to Basics 2005 - the idea is, you add this to your MSN / Yahoo / websites / blogs. You can use the comment field on this blog to leave your url, name and address to show your support. An email address has been setup if you require assistance or pledge your support to the event backtobasics2005@hotmail.co.uk - once we get comments of support and encouragement, I'll post a selected number on the website.

Be one with nature again ...

Back to basics - for boys
Back to basics for girls

The official date for Back to Basics 2005 is from :

Friday 21st October -> 23rd October

Magic Of the Cup : Attracts Glory Hunters :- SHOCK

The long awaiting 3rd qualifier round of the FA cup took place today. Leam FC were at home to Woodford United. Now, we've started going to home games (and away) this season, we've attended the FA Cup since the first round, and its fair to say, the crowds have got a little larger - the last round attracted roughly 500 people - however todays crowd doubled that, plus a little bit more. Needless to say, if the weather was a little better (ie, not pissing it down, raining cats and dogs & rain rain, go away, come back another day) and there wasnt an England International - the figures could have been even bigger. Anyhoo, we turned up just after 2 and the carpark was starting to fill up - obviously the regulars had the same idea - get in before the glory hunters turn up.

The Magic of the FA sand Cup

We went to the club shop (Shed) where they must have had the knitting machine on overtime - as there was actually club stuff you could buy - scarfs, football tops, etc etc. Myself, John and Debbie purchased a scarf each to keep the wind from our faces, the water from dripping into our tops and of course - to support the team we dearly love. BBC Coventry & Warwickshire have also obviously started on the "Leam doing well in the FA Cup" bandwagon, by sending a van over with a couple of reporters - and the local police shamming around by taking away the chairman's job of directing traffic out of the ground after the game - apart from that, all they done was watch the game, tap up two local babes and drink tea.

The game it self started off pretty quietly and even stevens for the first 10 mins, with Leam getting in early with an attempt, then a goal chalked off at the other end for a foul on our keeper. We ended up scoring, from a free kick, just as news that england had scored a pen - one of their players got sent off and they continued to push for an equaliser. Towards full time, you could see the glory hunters just leaving, only to miss a brilliant bit of play, a through ball leaving us one on one with the keeper - making it a final score of:-

Leamington 2 - Woodford United 0

Worship the sugar coated god!

The weekend - at least - and thank the lord for it. I'm ready for the weekend in so many different ways - the sleep in, the football, the shopping, and most importantly, happy friday. My wrist still knacks from football on thursday lunch time, so its making typing a little harder, so what better way than to celebrate happy friday, then to go to the chinese. We went to the chinese on park street - it used to be home to my fav restaurant in leamington - the italian - however now been sold and reopened up as a chinese. Its the first time i've been there, so I was looking forward to it - its also been a while since I've had a chinese in town, so it was a nice change. For some reason, Brian Blessed came up in conversation, so we decided to order our food, in the style of Brian Blessed, in his character form from Flash Gordon

Ahhh Flash, Fried Rice for me please

With John's starter - there came a little sugary coated character - which I then pronounced the Sugar Coated God. Debbie licked it, and turned mad, while we ate our food and drank beer. Food was very nice, and reasonably priced too - would deffo go again - only to see the Sugar Coated God - mmm praise him!

We ended up in the Jug (passing the lovely ooffy on the way down - purrr), and we were joined by Mr Ian, to make it a group of four - Rich was going to come down, but was at home tucking into a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio and keeping warm more than likely. After the 3rd bottle of wine, people being man handled while being chucked out the Jug for ;

• drinking their own booze
• being far too boozed up
• being barred and still drinking in ther jug

I was feeling a little worse for wear, so was pretty pleased when they called last orders, however they decided to tell jokes on the mic - some of which a) didnt make sense, b) didnt make me laugh or c) didnt form a joke. I mumbled and talked about the sugar coated god again, then we headed home, thankfully.

I must have recieved a text to which I replied to one, then attempted to reply to the 2nd text - but due to my state - fell asleep with the phone on my bed - nice.

Anyhoooo, a nice wake up call from Scott and his missus, handing me a present - maple syrup from Canada - my own Sugar Coated God - mmmm. The offer is now out for a sexy lass to be covered in it, failing that, by the end of month, I'll bath in it myself - mmm

Stung!

I was on the phone to my boss yesterday afternoon, and due to the nature of modern technology, I was able to take my phone outside onto the patio and discuss things in the future, what we can do to improve work etc. Working from home that afternoon, I decided to chill from the suit, tie and shirt and work in shorts and football top

Anyhoo, at some point during the phone call, I felt a sharp pain in my arse - but thinking nothing of it. After we finished, I sat down to feel my ass throbbing pretty badly and on inspection, it appears that I was stung on the arse. I'm currently walking around with a massive Elastoplast (r) on my ass to cushion some of the pain and keeping it clean.

Conclusion - Wasps, even, kill them all!

Early Alarm Clock and Two Goals

Today was an early start, text messages from people at none o'clock, but also started proactively - ending up in sommerfield before 9am to purchase stuff like milk, cerial, and of course chocolate. I've been pretty good food wise this week, apart from when myself and Rich ended up down the boozer for a swift one on Tuesday - yet, it was still diet coke for me, and he had Smirnoff Ice. I got to the situation where I needed something sugary, so ended up getting some malteser style chocolate - but mint chocolate balls - mmmm..

I ended up popping over to Warwick for around 12:30 to play football with the rest of the usual group - so warmed up, went in goal while others took pens - I only let 2 in - however only 4 balls went near me and/or the goal.

We kicked off with one person extra in our team, which made it a little easier - well in theory, until they decided to reduce the size of the pitch to half width of 5 aside which made it narrow and passes needed to be exact - something my skill doesnt allow. I'm a more of a 'see space on target - the blast the damn thing and hope the keeper cant get to it' After my first touch of the ball, I was chasing down a ball about to go out, but got blocked by the opposition, so ended up shoulder barging him - in reply I got a barrage of abuse (to which he said sorry to later on) - but there was true anger management needed by him at that point.

EAT MY GOAL!!! - Collapsed Lung

Our team couldnt gel correctly, mainly due to the showboating of a certain welsh student who was more mouthy than Mr Mouth from Mouthville in Mouthcity. The net (no pun intended) result was us falling behind. With about 30 mins left, we were 4-1 down, but then a bit of luck, managed to get on a throughball, hit the ball which came off the keeper, rebounded back into my path, ready to be tapped into the net. We came back strongly, getting a couple more, taking my personal tally to two - although we started to conceed due to the counter. Anyhow, on the "last goal is worth 10 goals" rule - we managed to win and I'm starting to feel stamina in my legs a little more and running around more - just need to work out how to play football and pass now - DAMN IT.

Director Warburton!

We had our house meeting lastnight - and technically, the first one i've either attended, or attended in full due to random obligations. Anyhoo, rather than having it in someones flat like its traditionally been done before, I suggested we do it down the boozer. This gave the opportunity to have a) a meeting and b) be near flowing alcohol and c) there was live music on in the jug and jester. I popped in on the way down to pick up John (debbie was going to meet us later on) and we got ourselves a pint in, only to be interupted by the comedy duo of Rich and Aido.

We had our funky meeting, we chinwagged and got to know our neighbours - made minute meetings and continued the flow of guiness on an empty stomach - then it went a little mad and myself and debbie laughed about the club Mirage and meeting Adrian (didnt turn up) for the first time - much to the bemusement of the rest of them.

Anyhoo, we went down to the bottom bar, had ribbons tied around our arms to prove that we paid 2 quid entry and listened to fantastic music - the first dude was some pianist/singer, then there was lots of funny singing about dont drink cider, then someones birthday band - to be honest, I lost interest after my 4th pint of guiness and reminded myself of injustices of the world

The End...

Leamington Against Drugs

After walking around town today, I'm pleased that Warwickshire county council is taking the hard approach on drugs in our towns and hamlets. This sign is obviously warning street walkers and passerbys that you shouldnt do "coke"

" Whitelines - dont do em"

It had to happen in the end!

John and Debbie invited me over to Coalville to watch the away game of Leamington's continued up and down league season. I really wasnt sure if I was going to make it, esp after we had a healthy happy friday.

I eventually woke up around 11:30 from a good night sleep, mainly down to 2 shared bottles of wine and alot of exercise, and decided, what the hell. So, anyhoo, we ended up on the way up to Coalville via the M1 - driving through the old mining village, which looks like its grown over the years, but still has the mining look to the shops and houses. All very interesting I'm very sure, however it did look a little depressing as the streets were surrounded by chavs, teenagers with kids in pushchairs etc

We parked on an estate around the corner from the Coalville ground and it was already getting pretty nippy. Some associates of John reckon that as soon as it hits the cooler end of the year, we wouldnt attend the matches, this is the telling time - but armed with scarf - and this week - boxer shorts we paid out 5 quid ( FIVE QUID!!!) to get in and I went directly to the food stand to get a burger and tea - as I hadnt eaten all day and needed defrosting.

We sat in the covered seating area - and it was out the wind, however shaded by the sun, so chillier. We conceded a goal from a freekick, and you just get the feeling that the midweek FA Cup replay going into extra time and pen's had a jaded effect on the players. Coalville definately took the heavy handed approach to the game, one of their midfielders getting a yellow card by "taking" out our right winger within 5 mins. There is something very scary when you hear the clash of leather on leather (no kinky thoughts) and studs on studs (no kinky thoughts) - always makes me wince.

John getting rather passionate and excited at the 1st shot on target

This continued til around 15 mins left in the 2nd half, when subs were made - and players were playing in their correct positions (from left back to striker - surely that has an effect on someones ability to run with the ball) and we started to pass more than one pass together - having about 3 or 4 shots on target.

All in all, a very disappointing game, as the final whistle blew, the rain started to come down - pretty much sums the game up really - dark, dank, misey.

Final Score Coalville 1 - Leam FC 0

Just a nice 60 min drive back home now - hohum

exercise! great for the soul, and so is a bottle of wine

I somewhat stupidly agreed to meet debbie down the gym after work lastnight, in an attempt to tone myself up a little more. I've already played football for 2.5 hours this week, and due to feeling a little under the weather on monday/tuesday, I never attended the gym then. Pretty impressive, even tho my shins were completely in pain and agony, I still managed to score 4 goals within 2 games, one was a 25 yarder which I managed to connect very sweetly - mmm sweets.

Anyhoooo, as the stress of Friday went on ... I was looking more and more forward to getting down the pub and getting lashed up - however, true to my word, I headed up to the gym for the agreed 4pm - only to find that debbie wasnt there - grrr.

I managed to knock another 20 seconds off my running a mile - which pleased me, then headed to the jacuzzi and sauna to chill out, still no debbie. After 5 mins in the sauna and temperatures of 110 oC+ I returned to the pool area, only to see Debbie there, laughing at my some what red face. I done some weights after the running, so swimming was a little painful - and the effects of being pushed onto my back on wednesday night was starting to toll.

Anyhoo, we discussed what healthy happy friday should be based around, and we decided, that we should give Zizzi Zizzi's another try after the last attempt of being told to come back even tho there were spaces and spare tables. We done just that, again, told that we would have to wait to up to 30 mins - even tho there were around 5 spare tables, becare they were "booked". We politely told the bloke to fuck off, then headed to Ask Pizza place, and had a lovely meal there.

After the meal and being forced not to have ice cream, John, Debbie and I headed back to the bottom of town, and the Jug and Jester, where Rich turned up to join a sociable one. Rich and John discussed the robot's name from battle of the planets (nono or something) while sporting their geeky tshirts (Ocean and Space invaders). Loads of lovely attractive students now piling in - although lastnight was about relaxing.

We returned back to Canal House Luxury apartments * to find some chav tucking into a plastic bag full of booze (Primus I think) and when he got the hint, he moved on to somewhere else. A park, or down by the canal probably - joined by all the other Leam Chavs. I had some Morgan Spiced Rum - then entered a Coma

Chelsea Football club, Chelsea Buns, Now Chelsea in Leamington

After the Champions League* game lastnight of Liverpool Chelsea (*Warning, Champions League doesnt play host to Chesterfield nor Newcastle United) - and the obvious way it was going to be 0-0 at full time (well, only to Captain Johno who had money on it- while I had 2-1 and Rich had 3-0), its time for a different Chelsea. No, not the flowershow either, but Captain Scott has his bird flying over from Canada to stay with him. YAY! I've never actually met her, but she's in for a surprise after I flat shared with Scott for 6 or so years!

Chelsea - not really named after a simple minds record.

Anyhooo, welcome to the UK and our quirky ways - we drink tea here, dont you know - and wheres my maple syrup!!!

Howay the Lads (Leam win 4-2 on Pens)

The match report just appeared on one of the websites - sadly I couldnt make it tonight - however it appears we're through to the next round of the FA Cup. COME ON!

3rd Round Qualifier :: The Magic of the FA Cup

Just checking the FA official website, and it looks like they've drawn the next round (based on the fact that Leam beat Oadby tonight (about to kick off in 7 mins time) in the replay.

15 Leamington or Oadby Town v Redditch United or Woodford United

If indeed we do get through to the next round, not only do Leam recieve 5K for winning that game, we'll have to get up there at 9am that morning as even the last round proved to be successful for the club and popular with the local community - glory hunters!

Also, keeping a small eye on my "local" teams from up North, Dunston Fed Brewery play Thornaby in a replay and face Leek Town in the 3rd Q round.

The Magic, Of the Cup!

Yesterday was the 2nd round prim of the FA Cup against Oadby- and John & Debbie give me the nod and a wink that it was going to be pretty busy, so we needed to set off earlier than normal - to ensure we got a space, both in the car park and at the match. We got there pretty early and had vital "close to the exit" car parking spaces and due to the fact that John's mate Steve S, and Ian Hogster joined us, we had to take two cars - John parked close to mine - to test the sliding door / exit protocol with the Brakes Bus II. Forgetting he still had to open his doors, he squeezed his stomach in a little more than he needed too and shoe horned himself out between two wing mirrors.

We got to the match and was glorious sunshine, and the cardboard FA cup was in place next to all the flags at the backend of the ground. It soon filled up, and the practice pitch was being used as a car park - and yet, people still came in. I saw Jim who I play Thursday football with, who gave his Cov ticket away to come see the magic of the cup. When we had diet coke to drink, we estimated the attendance - it appears that my guess was FOUR (4) out from the total given at half time - good guess huh ?

Anyhoo, kick off went, and it just so happens that a number of times when I've been to get chips from the burger van, the Brakes have scored. I joked about this and went on my way with a skip in my step - just as I got served, the Brakes scored - thats 3 goals I've missed due to chips! (not the american police show). Anyhoo, the usual happened, the Brakes took their foot off the peddle (well, the Brakes) and ended up conceeding a goal.

Anyhoooo, final score - 2-2 and a replay on Tuesday up and Oadby. My opinion - should have been resolved in the first half. Match report can be found here and noticed that there is an update on the new official website here

Why oh Why oh Why!

Happy Friday continued as per normal lastnight, this time venturing to Pizza Express, then the usual haunt for wine. John didnt want a heavy night - due to the fact I think he burnt his candles enough lastnight going clubbing with the usual suspects (where as I was a good boy and skipped). However, after our first bottle of wine, I half expected John to pack up and go home - yet, he suggested we had another bottle of wine while he had a pint (medicinal, I assume).

When I returned home, I found a bottle of open wine from the night before and as it was only one glass full in total, I thought it would be a great idea - then came the 25 year old whisky and then the MSR. I then woke up around 2am on the sofa from an alcohol related coma to crawl into bed and fall asleep - with a huge beating head.

I woke up just after 11 from a text from Debbie asking if I wanted to go to the gym, flash backs of me suggesting we went swimming and gym'ing to be healthy from a conversation lastnight occurred - always bad. Bad Steve, no biscuit! I should learn to keep schtum - always when drinking. I sent one back saying no, but after sniffing my freshly brewed tea, I decided it was a good idea. I done some weights, and smashed my arm in a little more - though it didnt hurt as much as the other day. I then done some treadmill gubbins and putting it on level 9 (out of 12) - and managed 4 mins - although doing 1/3 of a mile in less time than normal. After feeling SOO dry and hungover from the night before, I joined Debbie in the swimming pool - managed 9 lengths and hopped into, what could have been the worst room you can think of going into when you're dry and hungover - the Sauna. Although it did make me chuckle when I saw it was made my Sven Sauna's - how stereotypical can you get ?!?

We then spent about 40 mins driving around Leamington, trying to get to Subway to get my lunch - only to find 98% of the roads blocked, closed or packed full of traffic. Nevermind 1 hour til the Brakes play in the FA CUP Prim 2nd round! yay!

101 things to do before you die :: Sports

I bought a book a year or so ago, in an attempt to continue *that* crazy side of my world, as well as adding a motivational side to a spiralling crap mentality that most IT employees are faced with - work work work, when you've worked - you work a little more. Anyhoo, yesterday we had what is now classed as my fav time of the week - the two hours of work where I get paid not to take shit and play football with random colleagues. It works pretty well, you get to warwick around 12:20 - we kick off at 12:30 - and we play, roughly for about 120 mins - or how the mood sets us.

Anyhooo, yesterday, we were playing bad - its commonly known that I hang around midfield most of the time, as part of that, we have the ability to have a counter act, the downfall is, you have one man less marking an attacker - but, being from newcastle, you cant have the defensive mind - simple as that. There was one lad who turned up, lost the ball, stood there - meaning i had to track back to defend - which is something i rarely do and you could see the regulars getting a little pissed.

Anyhow, with 5 minutes left, and us being 7-1 down, the organiser announced that the next goal is worth 7 goals. After hitting the ball over the secure fence about 4 times and my legs near enough stopping working. Captain midfield was still stuck in his pit of er, and me running box to box to compensate and starting to hurt. Anyhoo - a fantastic cross later and being in the right place at the right time, I managed to hook a ball from the right wing into the left hand corner of the goal - making it 8-7. Although the organiser tried to deny all knowledge of the "next goal is worth 7" - based on the fact he was on their team - you can agree, that is goal #55 - "Scoring the winning goal" completed.

Fancy a Duck ??

Not happy with having noisy ducks around on the canal 24 x7 - I now have my own e-Duck - welcome world to quacky mctwat!

adopt your own virtual pet!

SO Ironic, no ... really

I was faffing around on the T'inter-supehighway - when I found the following link - not only rubbing salt into wounds - I laughed so hard, my wounds nearly reopened.

Lucky for me, I havent managed to get a part time job in writing books, nor have I become a relationship advice councilor - so dont ask questions.

Lucky for us, there are a number of other publications - with "my" advice added to assist without having to purchase the books :-

• How to feel great about yourself - drink lots of Stella and Wine
• How to get back to work - stop drinking lots of Stella and Wine
• How to restore your life-work balance - Drink lots of Stella and Wine at lunch time & after work
• How to stop that bully - Kick him in the nuts!!

Aye Lad, Trouble Down T' Well

You know its a bad day, when you wake up and you cant remember much about lastnight, you know its a bad day when you find a flat cap next to the bed, and its certainly a bad day when your phone goes and someone is asking for the cap back. Luckily, I knew the caller and have to pop the cap back into the Well tonight on the way back from the gym.

Anyhoo, I managed to find this photo that I some how took lastnight in my boozed up state - just before I dippbed into MSR and Scrubs Vol II

Nora Batty's new mate - trouble down t' mill

This is day one of Rich being away - god help us over the next week!

I FEEL LIKE A DALEK INSIDE!

First song I listened too on iTunes this morning, was SMILE, by Supernaturals - today is the biggest game in the season for NUFC - we loose - we sack our manager (with a bit of luck), and still remain 1 point above the dirty mackem scummers. and 3 points adrift of the above pack. Once again, finding out that they sold me doubles lastnight, I was feeling a bit crap - bit stillll smiling.

I was about to put muffins under the grill to have some nutella - mm - when John (from next door) asked if I fancied going into town for lunch. After a shower and a change of clothes, my eyes started to see thru the slits - and met J&D on the street. We ended up in Toyk - first time I've been there and was very suprised how nice it was. I ended up having a breakfast muffin, which had fried egg ( not had for eons ), sausage, bacon and muffins (still makes me laugh) in the background - they had keane playing, so was pretty relaxing for a sunday "morning". After we all finished up, we went our seperate ways, J&D went to tesco's, I went back home to release the back and white strip for the first time this season in the public house. I ended up in the Well, Rich was gonna come over, but was with captain happirous, but was faced with student geordie folk - who were very friendly, looked after my pint.

After 45 mins of misery, abusive texts from Mike and Pippa about the state of the football club, we ended up 0-0 - thats 3 goals less than I expected to our disadvantage. Shearer scored a freekick at the edge of the box, then Owen scored while lighing a smoke to make it 2-0.. Captain Charles N'Zogbia scored a fantastic goal from close range, beating the keeper one on one. At that point Captain Johno joined me, we had a couple of pints and watched the Saints -v- Derby game - and we retired to our homes for 0.0000003 nano seconds, where we ended up in the pig and fiddle.

Getting into the pig is a different world - they are about to release the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe near Xmas - go to the Pig - its a different world altogether - without lions, witches or wardrobes. There was alot of people asking where I was from, what my name, and on England (got a funny look) and Steve - I was pronounced "one of them" after Saint Stephen. No, I dont know either!!

We ended up in the well, a little half cut, and listened to the end of the quiz. Ooffii (purr) was celebrating her birthday, so got her a drink in and we eventually had to leave, before a) I fell off the pool table after grinning so much or b) Captain John could see again thru the medium of finger puppets (Rich, did you take them with you??)

Anyhoo, somehow, I managed to walk home with a flatcap (no, I dont know either) and decided to update blog and sip Morgan Spiced Rum - mmm - this time, its the stuff that J&D brought back from america for me.

Anyhoooooooooooooo, 3 points, more than 3 pints, we've more than doubled our current goal tally, in 15th - and we now have a leading goal scorer of more than 1 - life is rosey.

Ironically, one of the last songs of the day - SMILE - oh, and I am for more than one reason!

Rich on *ANOTHER* holiday - BYE THEN

I felt rough from the night - a combination of thai food, wine and then - somehow, getting back and playing Colin McCrae Rally when blind drunk, then watching Scrubs Vol II til 2am. I recieved a text from EEN at 05:00 which disrupted my sleep and I felt like death warmed up.

After reading the news ONLINE I ended up popping into town, to grab some weekly food - ended up "passing" someone "unprofessional" in the street, and when I mean pass, it was pass, no eyes, no smile, no nod - just passing - great - so fuck that, fuck it all. Anyhoo, popped into town, bumped into a couple of friendly faces, no passing, bumping - which makes a nice change.

It was a swift in and out operation, I wanted to spend the afternoon to myself - football, PSP, sitting in the sun, listening to music - grinning like a fool - if I wanted too. Still no text from Sarah sadly, obviously she doesnt know there is a PM in Wharton world - but hey - balls in her court.

Although I did receive a text message from someone who told me to fuck off a couple of days ago, asking, since we "passed" in town, would we like to meet up - fuck that, fuck that for a right game of soilders. In between that, cleaning up and sorting myself out for the weekend, I recived two calls - I assume either to tell me to fuck off again, or asking me if I still wanted to meet up. Her secret will remain with me to my grave, it really will, but I'm not being fucked over again.

Rich was due to go on holiday tomorrow, and although he's been a little off colour, I thought it was only tradition to take him out for a couple of beers before hand - after all, if we went on holiday he'd come back "in pieces" according to a colleague of ours. Anyhoo, we ended up in the Well for a change, and propped up the bar ordering pints, which then went to shots, not knowing that when we ordered rounds, they were giving me doubles - nice - no, really. We had a good laugh, both myself and Rich didnt want a heavy night, mainly coz rich would have to sleep in his suit case as it was on his bed. So at the point where he couldnt "take anymore", sipping move of his "remaining" beverage and I'd sprayed him with my remaining MSR with DC laughing at him - we departed.

I ended up watching three episodes of scrubs, before I was about to pass out in a coma, not knowing what I had drank, who I spoke to on MSN or how many trees I had ran into in Colin Mc. Still ended up in bed with a huuuge smile on my face tho - interesting song stuck in my head tho - Barenaked Ladies and If I had a Million Dollars - still stuck in my head now - even had to download it from iTUNES. If I Had $1000000, I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkEEE?)

When a vase is a cup

Catching up with football is part and parcel with the weekend, Newcastle United arnt playing til Sunday afternoon - in a much need for 3 points, and the dirty mackem scummers are hoping to pull three points out of the West Brom hat. I was much pleased to find out that West Brom scored in the last minute of injury time, making it 1-1 - allowing NUFC to rest gently on top of them, with a game in hand. Lets hope we can get something out of the Blackburn game tomorrow - although, right now, not much hope of that. Nevermind tho, sour faced Scot (not Souness this time), Dalglish reckons we'll do better - makes it all right then, doesnt it

I managed to stick my brake's car sticker on thunderbird IIII today - looks pretty smart. Speaking of which, the Brakes were involved in cup action again today, in the FA Vase - where they beat Studley 1-0 right at the death. Match report can be found at Braking news - also noticed that the official webpage is starting to develop.

Jacket, Shirt and Thai

I had Friday off - a well deserved rest for the amount of crap that I've been through lately, so it was fantastic to hear people stamping feet upstairs from me at such an early hour. I rolled over and went to bed for about 45 nanoseconds, then decided to get up for breakfast, a cup of tea, then read the newspapers online.

I then popped into town, I was going to go to the gym, but after pulling my hamstring after Thursday night football, I was in a little pain. Anyhoo, I found series two of scrubs and had to purchase that - making the dark autumn evenings a little more humorous.

I also found a film that I've been waiting to come out on DVD for a long time - The Breakfast Club - fantastic 80s movie

HEY HEY HEY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

I also purchased a suit jacket type thing from GAP to look casual smart when out having beverages in town - and also I refuse to wear coats, so I thought a jacket would be a gobetween.

I'd sent a text to Sarah this morning, to see if she fancied meeting up for a coffee, however, she tends to switch her phone off and not read messages for days on end, so sadly that didnt work out, although when I did get a reply, she suggested coffee on saturday morning. Yes, thats correct, apparently there, is, an AM on saturday!! I always thought that time frame was used to recover from awful hangovers from the night before.

Anyhooooooooooooooooooooo, I got back home, picked up my two new PSP games from Scott from codemasters, where he managed to get them on the cheap. Rich got a copy too, so that we can look at wireless gaming - although, TOCA Racin Driving 2, and Colin McCrea Rally - is solid as a rock - and we're not talking about 80s music here.

Debbie MSN'd me to see if I fancied going out with her and John for a Thai meal - I really do love Thai - esp at the Thai Elephant - once of my fav places in the world - so agreed, and we got up there about 7:45 (after dropping games off in the jug and jester to Rich). The Thai Elephant is normally very busy due to its reputation, so I said I would attempt to put my puppy dog eyes on, to see if we could get in - strangely enough, for the first time in years, they actually worked - giving us 5 mins before a table would be ready. After 30 seconds, we were taken downstairs - and ordering beverages - we ordered food and it all came very very quickly. I had some Chicken stripped spicy stuff (number 40 on the menu) which made my mouth burn, my eyes go red, and allow me to speak in tongues.

Once we finished up there, we popped back to the Jug for a couple of bottles of wine - laughed, carried on and discussed Iceland (the country, not the supermarket). Still sporting my new jacket, we returned back to the Canal House and went out seperate ways. I poured myself the biggest Morgan Spiced Rum with Coke Zero (American Diet Coke that John and Debbie brought me back) and tucked into disk 1 of Scrubs Vol II - blinked and it was 02:00 - then went to bed

Nomes, Andy P & Pizza

For one reason and another, its been a while since I've caught up with Nomes and Andy P - mainly with working away from the office and those guys trying to buy a lovely house together - so we've been like ships in the night. I asked if they fancied a nice night out with Captain Steve, to catch up on gossip, relax and catch up - and really, all in the name of having some food and some beer.

We'd arranged to meet in the Lounge, where the lovely barmaid was very chatty and friendly while I waited for them. We had a quick beverage and got chinwagging - then all three of us needed food - so we decided to pop over to Zizi Zizi's for a pizza. We got there and opened the door, seeing about 8 or 9 tables empty, we grinned to each other thinking we were going to get fed pretty quickly. The night was a little funny, it was wet, but warm, it was also very quiet, the assumption was that the students that have come back home over the summer had left, yet the new allocation of students this year, were either not here, or up at the uni.

Anyhoo, the waiter at the door announced that it was going to be aboout 20 mins for a table - because we hadnt booked. We looked at him and laughed and semi pointed at the sea of empty tables - but he still said to come back in 20 mins time. We werent having that - so we ended up buggerig off down to Pizza Express, where we had a fab meal, chinwag and view of lovely looking females - purr.

Rich called me, to see if we fancied meeting him for a quiet drink in the Jug, of course, we were still eating, so he came and joined us in Pizza Express, then we did eventually venture over to the Jug and Jester for a couple of quiet ones.

John, Debbie, PFH and Super Gary joined us, just as Rich, Nomes and Andy P were leaving (Rich managed to spawn another lift home) - the lads had some pretty bad business / job related news that day, so they were on a mission to drink it out of their system - some more than others as they acted the goat a little too much. Anyhoooo, we discussed the different street names of Leamington Spa, and how they are pronounced different ways, depends on where you come from originally in the country.

Little Man U

Not often will you see a photo of the Manchester United Allstars on this website - however I was checking out Teamtalk.com for football news and came across it. It made me think about the Little Britain sketch of Dennis Waterman, where, because he is small, the set they filmed it in, is really large. Suppose you really have to see the sketch to understand - made me laugh anyhow!

Wayne Rooney - Like a smurf, really

Anyhoo, dirty little bastard - should have signed for us instead.

Next week, Sven and Steve McClaren star in Andy and Lou - "3 points against Northern Ireland, want that one

Nice Brakes, Nice Jugs!

Yesterday was a strange day in its own right, all week I havent slept very well due to stress and drinking til 1am and expecting to be completely OK in the morning. I got stitched up at Monday Lunch time with a nice visit to a customer site in Nottingham and had to be there first thing Tuesday morning. I tried to get away from going up, using my business head and my common sense head - but failed Last time I went up there - it took 3 hours and now with some of the kids back at school and uni, I thought I would take this into consideration. Up at 06:15, in Warwick to pick up the hire car for 7:30, I was sitting at my desk in Nottingham, tired looking and working with a nice brew of tea in my hands. Anyhoo, I had my meetings, and set off knowing that this petrol sham would hit at some point ( we have to refuel the hire cars, or we get charged an arm and a leg by the hirecar people). By the time I get to Warwick and passed two petrol stations, both with "Fuel Sold Out" signs, I give up and drop the car, pick my car up and head back home.

I got back home, working out I had 30 mins to get changed, something to eat and pick Debbie, John and John's mate up and take them up to the New Windmill ground. Rich was due to come up with us, but got the feeling when I spoke to him on the phone in the car, that a) he would go straight to bed or b) end up in the Pig with Johno, getting boozed up watching Champions League * football - he really sounded hacked off

* Warning : Champions League Football excludes Newcastle & Chesterfield

Anyhoo, after taking one bite from my sandwich, I was getting hassled so just left it, I was very close to just dropping out, but thought it would do me some good to get some freshair and release my frustration, stress and anger on the lino, ref, or some left back opposition. We got up there and I purchased a Leam FC ar sticker for my Brakes Bus II - yet to be applied and we took our usual positions, John reading his newly purchased programme, Debbie stood next to him and me trying to find the fit birds in the crowd.

Brakes were playing Causeway, and had a couple of games in hand, so it was imperative they started climbing the league table and scoring goals. After 14 mins, we went one nil up, but done the usual thing of as soon as we scored, took of foot off the pedal and let the opposition take over again. Luckily for us, we defended pretty well and after some frustrating play, went 2-0 up, before they pulled one back. We made it 3-1 in the second half, with some terrible scrappy football, and even worse referring decisions which not only stopped the flow of the game, but became a joke to the locals as he was giving totally the wrong decision. Although the chairman came around and spoke to the locals, giving the ref his "unbiased" opinion on a few things - which is one thing I'd like to see at NUFC - the people at the top, listening to the people at the bottom - afterall, we pay their wages.

We left the new windmill and dropped John and Debbie off at the Jug, with an invite once I parked Thunderbird III - so I thought why not - however, the lack of sleep, huge amount of stress and little food hit me, when after starting my third pint, I felt vr light headed - and I was only drinking Carling - fantastic, not been like that since I was 14.

Bloogle ?

Google have announced a search engine for blogs - not just blogger - but all other types of blogs.

This can be found at :

http://blogsearch.google.com/

They are certainly the brainy bunch!

MR East BENNders

What a strange and wacky world we live in - however strange, it all links into one thing - complete chaos. I sat down with my Sunday Lunch, switched on the TV and watched the replay of eastenders, grinned and sat back on the sofa. I was so engrossed in the sunday roast, that I heard a voice from on the TV - not a usual character, but something that took me back to my childhood.

I thought for a couple of minutes, removing the cobwebs from my brain, drilling back into my child hood memories, to find out that the chracter on Eastenders, was actually the voiceover to Mr Benn, Ray Brooks.

Lucky the BBC have provided a clip, ON-LINE, for you to jig your memory too. For those who wish to take their obsession with Eastenders that little bit further - or to scare colleagues in the office, they've provided us with a wallpaper to the Millers

Cricket - I dont like it, I hate them

For the last 2 months, I've had the quote from Rich of "Cricket, I dont like it, I love it" - and it was getting a little annoying - but hey, we all have to put up with him.

Anyhooo, for the last three nights, I've been in my kitchen, and heard some funny noise, like a violin or scratching - so came to the conclusion that some insect, or bird had managed to get trapped between the floorboard from upstairs and the raised ceiling in my kitchen - and technically it would eventually die or something. I tried pin pointing exactly where this noise was, esp thursday night when I got in blind drunk - but ended up talking to the picture frames instead.

I stayed in lastnight, had a bottle of wine, talked to Teacher Helen on MSN, then sat down to watch the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on DVD (the film, not the TV Series) - and thought while the "up and coming films" was playing, I could get myself comfy and ready for bed - and I was feeeling slightly drunk.

I got to the bathroom and this violin/scratching noise was getting louder - then all of a sudden, this cricket/grass hopper looking insect hopped around the corner. After waving my fist and talking to him for about 10 mins, grinning and giggling, I decided setting him free would be the David Bellamy way of thinking, so paper, glass, and patio later, he was free to jump for freedom.

Peace and Quiet now ... MMM ... just hope the poor little bugger didnt jump into the canal

Utility Mathematics

I've had a few things on my mind of late - so the post has built up from the last couple of days - after putting my PSP down for 5 mins, I've eventually looked at the "important" looking letters. These being the electricity, the gas and and car insurance - and it roughly breaks down as follows

• I currently owe the electric £198
• The gas company owe me £103 in credit
• The Insurance people are supposed to owe me £500 - but have refunded me some money and reduced my premiums (to pay 11 quid a month).

All very confusing - time for some consolodation of debts with one utility company I think. Although I do have to say, with all the offshoring call centres, I got speaking to a very nice lass at the electricity board called Kate, who had a very sexy voice and was very charming. Not exactly a situation to ask if she was single, where she lived and was she foxy or a munter.

Beer -> Cocktail -> Beer -> Shots -> Alcohol Based Coma

Rich invited me out to a leaving do in town lastnight - with an added twist - the venue was Bar 44 at 8.30pm (20.30 - damn canadians) - but Rich had arranged to meet "someone" for a quick drink before hand. I'd invited Blunty out for a spot of food and beer, but due to us both being a little busy, that didnt happen, so ended up meeting Captain Ireland down the Jug around 20:40 - had a quick pint and wandered up. Rich was there with some boarding management people (basically Project Managers, without process and procedures and without a clue), with a grin the size of Africa and a cocktail in his hand.

I noticed a couple of people I recognised, Rich said it wasnt them, but I kept at it - eventually Rich betting a round (or Johno's betting slip) that it wasnt them, with comments such as, "Thats just a fat lookalike" - eventually, Rich lost the bet - when our group was staring at them all and she turned around waving. So Rich got a round of cocktails in for us all, and we spotted the lovely Student Sarah at the cocktail bar, where Johno planted the seeds of ther rumourplant, stating that Rich was on a date and she was in the bar - of course, students being students, spread this around - without Rich knowing.

We had a couple more cocktails, the jazz piano dude was getting funkier, myself and rich decided to act backing singers for a while which was a laugh, then we drank our drinks and went out seperate ways - the Leaving group going to a club, and the usual suspects going to the Well. By this point I could barely stand anyhow, so tried to keep my mouth shut, which never works - so we had MSR, Vodka etc til they called last ordered there - and we headed home.

Rich said that the lovely Sarah had IM'd him at 09:01 asking who his date was, so he was already on the warpath at home by the time I got into Johno's office to see how he was. The lovely Sarah was giggling already so decided to call Rich and take the piss a little more, asking him how his date went and sarah was asking more questions. Rich's rant turned into something that would normally get an 18 rating at film level - so much so, I placed him on speaker phone and the whole office laughed - then *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO* as Rich hung up in a bad bad mood.

Fun, and technically he didnt go on a date or try tapping - for a change.

Who put on the brakes ?

Lastnight we went up to see the brakes play, not only was it Tuesday night, but we also had our own "glory hunter in tow". A couple of weeks ago, you may or may not remember, but Rich claimed that I was a glory hunter for supporting my grass roots football team, however, Rich decided to make an appearance this season. I picked him, John and Debbie up in the "team bus" and headed up to the New Windmill ground, so we could have a scan at what they had in the "club shop". By all accounts, not very much as no orders had been placed due to some admin sham.

Anyhoo, the Brakes scored after 2 mins thanks to some lovely dipping shot from the edge of the box - however, rather than pressing on, the brakes, er well, broke. The attractive football from the first couple of weeks in the season had stopped, and it was route 1 football all over the gaff. Even the start to the seaon I've had, I had to look away once in a while.

Anyhoo, into the 2nd half, we moved to the other end only to stand next to some of the locals who must have followed the club for eons. They spoke about the brake's first defeat of the season saturday gone and the strattford game, where for some reason, Rich managed to control the convo. We didnt have this - and managed to put Rich in his place by telling them all about the "glory hunting tales" and how this was his first game of the season.

Things were getting a little frustrating for the locals, and it became known that the locals didnt really like the Brake's manager due to his lack of tactics (not tic tacs) and his inability to play players in their correct positions, play old school players instead of fit youngsters who can control the park. However, he manages to pull some "parting of the sea" every season to impress the board

It also became apparent that the light humoured New Windmill also has a dark side - with rival fans chanting at one another due to their positions - all very strange, but amusing - "You're young and stink of piss" was one of the chants from the older section of the crowd - nice.

Anyhoo, we managed to get a scrappy win, winning 1-0, which sometimes you have to do once in a while. Rich had two hotdogs, tho I'm not supposed to say that.

New Windmill Ground - Home of the Brakes

I took the below photo a while back at the New Windmill ground, home of Leam FC. I've been faffing around with some stitching software and it never really worked out until I spoke to Nextdoor John, who suggested some software.

New Windmill Group * Warning, no windmill included

I'll upload the full version to fotopics once I get a chance - this still looks a little small - dont know if blogspot is messing around with it a little.

*** Update :- Full sized version can be found here

PSP me up

I've had a number of "caller withheld" calls on my mobile lately, and while in the middle of doing some important PD at work, I recieved another - I answered it and was about to give someone a mouthful. Just as well I didnt, it was the nice chaps from Game telling me that, although I had placed my name on the 2nd batch for the PSP (due to be in at the end of this month), they had a number of cancellations and my name was bumped up available if I wanted it. I must admit, I wasnt 100% sure about getting it - 159 quid (paid 20 quid deposit a couple of weeks ago) plus the cost of a game etc etc.

Anyhooo, after I finished gaying around with the pro's and con's - I decided to get it anyway. So I left work a little early, popped into town, and purchased something which I can only explain as pure craftsmanship. Its not as good as the iPOD, however, its pure class.

The PSP


Woah, Rad. Duuude, wheres my game!

I picked up Tony Hawk's (not the comedian, the skater) at a special price because I bought the device, seemed only natural really and headed home with a glint of joy in my eye. Read the manual, worked out I hadnt put the battery in, put the battery and charged it up. When I went back to it, the light had gone out, assumed it was nice and funky and inserted the new firmware disk in upgrading it to 2.0. It blocks out the ability to run emulators (Rich has emulators on his and looks nice), but comes with a funky web browser and fixes alot of stuff by the looks of things.

Anyhoo, managed to get the wireless internet access sorted - used the browser to checkout www.nufc.com a little slow - but hey, as a friend of mine says, "if you want to look at the web, buy a computer"

Conclusion - completely ace, cant wait for Grand Theft Auto to come out and get some wireless gaming going

Messing about on the river II

After rushing around town to get ready for a) the England International and b) Blunty's Birthday Bash on the River over in Warwick - I managed to pick up the vital supplies - consisting of food, beer, pirate hats. On the way back, I managed to get fly-by abuse from Rich's mate Aido, claiming the Jebus Bus in Leam Park was mine. Outwitted by his Cannon and Ball sense of humour, I could only tell him to go screw himself as I ran in the opposite direction.

Popped the food home, then met Captain Rich in the Well for England International misery, where we won 1-0 against the Wales. On the way back, managed to bump into an old friend of mine, Lynne, who's getting married in a couple of weeks time - who claimed that I put a little bit of weight on - cheers, but ironically, she's lost loads - damn you weight loss plans!

Anyhow, after shamming around for a bit, we decided the mode of transport to Warwick would be the train, and arranged to meet at 18:55 to get the 19:01 over to the next town and walk over to St Nick's Park. On our trip, there were kids obviously dodging the ticket money and the bloke caught them, using is as prime examples of upstanding members of the community. "These gentlemen's fares go up because of you kids" - which we laughed at - hugging our two bags packed full of booze.

Anyhooo, we get over to the boat house, dump out food and beer off, grabbing a can each and then pop out onto the river for a mooch around. Blunty decided he was going to row, after all it was his birthday, so who are we to argue?! I took the chance to take some photos from river level, almost twisting and breaking my spine in 3824.3 places by leaning on my stomach at pointing the camera at the local scenary. Blunty got bored and decided to go back ashore - and fetch us replacements, then myself and Rich went out on the river again, talked about random stuff, mainly about injustices of the world #434b to #762a, supped more beer and moaned how the "nights are drawing in quicker".

View of Warwick Castle from the River

Rich - Keeper of the BBQ, still mystified by fire

We managed to get back ashore safely, dodging swans, angry fishermen and general abuse for people old and wearing pirate hats. The BBQ was already up and running and as hot as the sun, so I bunged some burgers on the grill and supped some more beer. Banter was good, some scary man was juggling balls, beer flowed, but no sign of the nurses blunty had a) promised and b) used as a tool to convince people to turn up!

Me, Hail to the Bus Driver !!

As the night wound down a little, blunty put some of his music on - to which Rich moaned asking for "some music with words" and "Blunty, you're music is shit, what is this w*nk" which then led to the Killers being played on the "HiFi" system. Blunty's mp3 player looked almost like his phone, just not as big, and probably with more battery life - oh, how the jokes still turn up.

Dance music Blunty? or you dancing to Cotton Eye Joe?

The night slowed right down, so myself and Rich decided to be proactive. Armed with our pirate hats on our head, we booked a taxi to Leam, to drink ourselves daft(er) in the Well. We turned up and the taxi was there waiting for us, and we nearly scared the living daylights out of the bloke, and that had nowt to do with the pirate hats, then he saw the pirate hats and laughed. He then went on to tell us stories about

• Taxi driving is dangerous, he knew someone who had been killed in her taxi, and someone who cant walk anymore
• How he kicked the 256 shades of crap out of someone because the lads were taking the piss and called him fat
• How he doesnt like violence, but if we attempted to do a runner on the fare, he would hunt us down for the rest of our lives (not really)

Anyhoo, we got into the Well, and took the normal position at the bar and had a chin wag - only to attract strange and mad looking lads who kept asking questions about me owning a farm in cornwall ( I think it was me doing ARRRR pirate noises, rather than OOOH ARRRR farming noises ). Rich went to the toilet, only to be abused left right and centre by anyone, and came back a shell of a man, where as I was feeling argumentative, so decided to see what would happen if I went. I was greated with "Nice hat mate, looks good on you" and "Cut up him with a rusty razor" - although one bloke just looked at me in the bogs, never a good thing - believe me.

Anyhoo, after so much booze i could barely stand and talk, we decided to call it a night - only to bump into the lovely Rachel and the lovely Jess - where I probably didnt make any sense what so ever.

Currently in a hungover state and unable to do anything proactive - might go back to bed for a while

Curry Club, Beer Club, Fight Club

I ended up drinking half a bottle of wine that Captain Rich brought me back from Germany or somewhere via some 12th level of Hell. First sip and mouth full was like paint stripper, but as with most beverages, it soon went down well, so laughing all the way to the alcohol bank, I ended up playing til none o'clock with simcity 4 again, taking my city from passionate hub of profit and industry to some sham ran global corporation, taking short cuts, sacking people and taking out key people.

The normal day was a little slow to start off with - keeping in touch with my core guys, well technically one of them had a day off and Bruce keeps me sane, so him being in the office was a plus. We tend to talk crap, he makes light humour of things ( the way I used to be, before I lost my humour and true grin) so really does keep me on the straight and narrow.

Fursal, big breasted tho he is, is a nice chap, and it was his last day, so drove over to Warwick after a barrage of abuse about my new car. I drove past Warwick's site, expecting to miss them, sadly drove past them, discovering that my new car horn is the gayest one in the world - I wont be using that in future - just my vocal cords and my over use of the abusive oxford dictionary. Where in reality, I should have just stopped, took the piss and parked up in the bus stop and went along with their banter. There was beverage (which I didnt do), food and cheer - I even saw Captain John H at the bar with his colleagues. I left after an hour or so and went back home - only to be faced with bright sun shine so worked outside for 30 mins.

Debbie engaged in Happy Friday convo - something I havent done for a week or so, and was pretty up for it, after the week I had - so agreed to meet her and John H down a curry house. Apparently John was still out in town on the booze, so we agreed we would walk down together - only to recieve a phone call on the way - John being drunk, introducing himself as John and he would be joining us soon.

We had a lovely meal, joined by SUPER Gary and his missus, where we moved onto the Jug where PFH and JV ( technically at that point the most unhappiest man in the world ) joined us for a happy happy beverage, then later on by Rich. SUPER Gary, MC and Happy Happy JV decided to be the gayest of the gay and go home - where Rich, myself John and Debbie continued drinking none gay drinks. Rich left, due to the fact felt light headed and we followed closely behind.

We got back to the housing - where we watched for 5 mins, while two renagade groups from across the road kicked the 256 shades of shit out of each other. The cops turned up in their CCTV van, off loaded some "troops" and then the van just fucked off, leaving their men in the field of action. When the troops didnt come back and loads of people were speaking in dodgy lingo ("flat beats, armagedon on the streets") we decided to part ways and go home.

Well, interesting nights, lets see what happens after the standard closing standard time regulation stops.

PS car still there

Behold - the car of the future - today!

I was up at the crack of dawn today (wasnt she a lucky girl - gfwar gfwar) to pick up my new toy. I test drove the new Peugeot 1007 a couple of sundays ago, and placed a deposit - only for them to suggest it might not be available til the end of Sept due to high demand. I was nicely suprised last Friday when they called up, telling me if they get the car down from scotland in time - then it will be ready to collect on the 1st (today) or maybe a couple of days after that. After spending most of friday on the blower to insurance people and the bank, I had everything in place.

I arranged to pick the car up at 07:45 this morning, hopefully able to use it to get to 5aside football at lunch time - and indeed getting into work. The handover went perfectly, paid for the balance on my switch card, and drove back home to get changed and pick up my bag for work - seeing next door John, I offered him a lift (first official passenger) into work and give him the opportunity to see the car in the flesh (metal). I got the feeling he wasnt too convinced about it - but appeared to like it afterwards.

Something the Jetsons would drive ?

After faffing around at work, playing football and getting back home to complete my working day, only to be faced by the usual piss take and abuse from the comedy club (Rich, Johno, Blunty and the Breastman of Surf, Fursal). This didnt bother me, it was more the fact I was baby sitting people's problems at work and being stitched up once again for work that doesnt concern me. I took Rich out for a drive around town, and further a field, and after the piss take - was very close to dropping him off at Harbury to teach him a lesson.

Anyhoo, regardless of what anyone says about my new motor, I like it, I like it alot - and with the added bonus of it being cheap to run, cheap to insure and cheap monthly payments