Drunk and in charge of ... The Internet ?

When I got back in, I recall chatting to my music mogal chum, Any - formally of Collapsed Lung and now of Junior Blanks. I was a little wasted, but we had a random convo - to which i suggested he and his Blank Chums come do a gig at the Well (yes, must have been really wasted) - and he said he would have a think. He give me a url to take a look at, which resulted in me seeing his baldy football heed, and turns out its his online photo album. He logged out and left me to the dregs of my Stella can, then I assumed, crawled to bed - however, waking up in the morning, I'd registered to the same site as Ant and started to upload some of my photos - cool eh ?

Anyhoooooo, here we go ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/docwharton/

Sometimes I scare myself!

You Better Smile!!!!

Lastnight, Captain Rich asked if I fancied a couple of late night beers - and who am I to turn down such an offer - so armed with money, shoes and our drinking pack - we hit the Well. It was a bit of a strange night - hot but cold, dry but wet and drunken although a sobering experience. Johno and Blunty were invited as per the norm, however Johno was at the flicks (with his lass - we assume) and Blunty didnt respond - probably due to the fact his battery ran out after being powered on - so we drank like merry souls that we are. Scary Connor turned up with one of the lads who was on my Go Karting team - so we talked football for a while - well technically, I slagged of Man Utd and the state (no pun intended) of Sir Alex and his All Stars.

A little later, cockney comments such as "Both he and his carving knife were shocked when one of their sausepan lids ran away from home" and "He was getting on her West Hams, she gave him the Samuel Pepys. It was clearly the White Cliffs behind them". Anyhoo, after managing to work out it was Jo behind the bar inviting us to a birthday party downstairs in the Well in a couple of weeks time, we managed to get a couple free beers out of them, we nodded and agreed to put it in our Davy Crockett (Pocket) as a reminder.

I can only describe the next episode as drunken, strange and part of the tales of the unexpected - one regular patron came up to me and said "Steve, I think you're a funny lad and I respect you, but sometimes I dont think you like me, maybe even think of me as a bit of a c*nt" After trying to keep a grin off my face without laughing in his face, I told him I thought he was a "c*nt" - but I also thought alot of people were, so for him not to worry about it.

Moments later, one of his partners in crime came over and started having a go at me, saying how I should "be happy", "shouldnt bitch about people" and "how he didnt respect me". After a couple of moments of silence while blood was boiling to my brain, I kindly suggested that he didnt blame his mum, dad and family for his misgivings, how I was happy on the inside, and it was only because he was there, that my exteria wasnt beaming and also, the fact that I had a proper job, earned good money and had friends and family to make me happy. He was like a rabbit in headlights, when he tried to drag Rich into the conversation, of which Rich, managed to successfully put the lid on his box and shutting him up for good. He then walked away stuttering and stammering claiming how we were "good friends" at one point.

Anyhooooo, using our Well secret and magical key, we ended up staying for a couple of swifties, before we could barely stand, bumping into scary connor (tm) outside and taking the piss. We managed to get to Sommerfield, where we saw a miserable looking figure stammering up the hill, turns out its Character Assasin #2 - to which, both me and Rich shouts "You want to be happy, cheer up you morky chuff". You see, i might not look happy all the time, but my merry little brain world is constantly ticking making me grin inside - sometimes too much (Emily knows random stuff that makes me laugh - beep beep beep).

Sex, Drugs & Sock and Roll

Well not so much of the Sex, Drugs and the Roll ... but... after a very stressful and destressing week, due to work, and personal issues - which I wont go into, what better way to chill, than sorting out clothes. It's commonly known that I have 100s of pairs of socks, thus, I can go months without needing to wash or sort out socks. However with my new plan of healthy living and cleaning up - I decided to attack this pile of socks and other items of clothing. 30 mins later, I was still sorting socks out, and getting extremely bored - and yet, still not making a dint into the sock pile.

Anyhoo, after completing the tidy up, I return to my fantastic brand new PC to complete the migration of my old music and photos over to the new hard drive. Basically, the new PC came with 80Gb SATA disk - which means you cant directly plug an IDE drive in the chain, so cunning Steve unplugged one of the DVD drives (1 of 2) and plugged that into the chain. However (and not wanting to be nerdy) the folders were locked down to my old PC user and computer ID - so had to faff around with some Windows XP management, changing file permissions and taking ownership of folders and drives. Eventually I managed to suck all my music across, repopulate my iPod rather than having to reImport all my CDs to iTunes.

Its not the winning, its the taking Kart! (Damn you Winners!)

Northern Vicky is due to leave us (from work - not from the planet, although sometimes we do wonder) so rather than having a stereotypical IBM leaving do, she arranged a gokarting night out. I've never done this, however, I was still able to drive, unlike Rich, who was the source of most of the jokes for the night (he doesnt have a licence, car or the ability to drive), but I was quite looking forward to it. Vicky had originally divided the teams up into groups of mates, I was originally with Rich, Johno (had a glint of insanity in his eyes lastnight), his lass, and someone else who I dont think anyone can rememeber. Wynne managed to get hold of the plans, and, in my opinion, designed a winning formulea claiming to be "splitting the girls and the fat blokes around the teams". Thankfully for me, there was a slightly larger bloke in our new team - Wahoo - I'm not an IBM Fatty!!

Anyhooo, after some rather disturbing and depressing news (good luck Sarah) about 20 mins before we got there, I was determined to have a great time, get us a trophy, and hit the pub as quickly as possible. One of the disadvantages of doing a night like this, then hitting the pub, is lack of food, which results in people getting very drunk, very quickly - but luckily no one was drinking at the track (that we're aware of).

We were given our protective outfits, Rich and I looked like painting decorators - while Fursal looked like a Teletubbie, and then given an introduction and education video - giving pointers such as :-

• That hot engine behind you - dont put your hands on it
• Don't get out the kart while the race is going on unless you're in the pits
• Don't press the break and the accelerator peddles at the same time
• Zulu's, 100s and 1000s of em & Don't shoot to you see the whites of their eyes
• 1st rule of Kart Club, you dont talk about Kart Club

After ignoring all the instructions due to laughter, we headed out for our 15 mins practice run, where we lost one of our team members. I decided to put some IBM management around the team, made sure that we all understood the rules of the team, tactics, who was doing what, and ensuring we had someone flagging for a pitt stop. After 5 mins of looking for the missing guy, turns out he's having a nice little spin on the track - while we're still trying to work out simple stuff. Anytime someone crashed into the barrier, they halt the race by showing red lights all over the gaff, which confused a few people, but also puts other people at an advantage if they are about to over take you, and someone else around the course has a crash.

Anyhoo, after faffing around, remembering the rules and regulations, we're 4th to start, quickling hitting 2nd spot, then disaster, one of our guys get told to return to the pits - for having his helmet not completely closed (the video told us not too). I raced to the car, getting checked over by the lovely northern vicky, then get into the Kart, only to be told to return to the pits for my helmet not being done up. In this siutation, whenever you get told to return to the pits, you get 3 laps deducted - so of course, we're being lapped while we're in the pits faffing around - plus these random ones they are taking off. At this point we're something like 9 laps down, and no real way of getting back into the race. We started to catch up, then again, my turn - and I made sure that my helmet was tied up - only to be told to return to the pits for the same reason. The bloke checked it, apologised and said he'd give me a lap back - er thanks - wasting my time, and my teams time!!!

Anyhow, insert loads of time, Rich feeling sick after flying around corners at high G-Forces (not the Battle of the Planets here boss), Vicky deciding she can get around tight corners without breaking EVER, and JT & Wynne's tactics paying off and winning by about 10 laps - we came last, by a long way.

Vicky, still trying to take tight corners without breaking, and VK Blue in hand. [ source : Rich Headworth. ]

We returned to Leamington, and hit the Jug and Jester - after the bad news, I decided to get drunk quickly, so picked up a bottle of white wine to myself and started to sink that. People started to regroup in the beer garden, and loads of female IT students looked pretty nice (not due to the wine) and we had a good old chinwag. The students went to Sugar, the older more responsible people went to TJs - I went home to slip into my wine based coma.

The final placings were:

1st - JT, Wynne, Emily, Keely, Blunty

2nd - Fursal, Jermaine, Tobes, Rich, Louise

3rd - Dave, John'O, Alys, Shaun, Sophie

4th - Edith, Baxter, JP, Mike, Rich

5th - Vicky, Wayne, Steve, Will, Neil

Good Lucky Vicky, You're humour and personality will be missed, along with your crisp sandwiches.

First rule to Medicine club, you don't talk about Medicine Club

You may or may not know, but I'm a Doctor Who fan .. and I'm not afraid to mention it. After searching this here super inter connected webby highway, I found some photos of the new Doctor, David Tennant, and the ever so lovely Billie Piper. Appears they've moved from the "I'm the Doctor, a little on edge and could flip at anytime - oh and look at my leather jacket, isnt it nice" look to Geek Chic.

I'd like to get into Billie's Box! - fnar

Don't know if its on purpose, but it appears this is more mysterious and a little darker - 'Rose' appears not to be wearing the bright colours of the last series. I really do want a TARDIS for my patio tho!

1st Rule of Share Club, You dont talk about Share Club

A couple of years ago, I invested in Newcastle United PLC shares by bunging in 400 quid or something, each share was around 21p. Oh how my mother laughed at me, she made sure that she put her point forward that I would never make any money, and it was a stupid thing to do, and if I wanted a some shares - I should have just got a couple as a fan. However, I very rarely listened to my mother, so armed with my filofax and 80s style cell phone and purchased them.

I've been recieving healthy divi returns ever since, anything from 20 quid to 35 quid every half year - not bad really - pays for a pizza and a couple of drinks - who can complain?

Anyhoo, turns out there is "talk" about some invester coming in and buying the club, bumping up the share price in turn. I know we're not talking Wall Street here, but this is nearly 3 times what I paid for them - and the highest price for about 5 years.

WHO IS LAUGHING NOW MOTHER?!? Technically her, probably

Newcastle Shares as of COB today - looks more like the skyline of NY City

I dont know what does happen if there is a buyout, if the price of shares drop if they payout to take it back into a private company, rather than a public limited company - maybe I need to get some money matters advice from someone, probably Rich over a pint.

Grand Theft Auto : Leamington Spa

After attempting to get an early night - you know - start the week off as you mean to go on - I was awoken by a massive smashing noise, followed by the noise of an alarm going off. I could only assume that someone was trying to ramraid the computer shop over the bridge, but about 30 seconds later, screaching of tyres and another massive bang. I decided to bung some shorts, tshirt and trainers on to have a scan - just incase someone was hurt, so wandered up to street level at Ranalegh Terrace - where next door was hanging out the window on the phone to the police and I was met in the pouring rain by my two neighbours (Kerry and the lovely Jo).

Appears some boozed up idiot had decided to drive home, coming around the corner at high speed, must have hit too much rain water, smashed into some punto, which crashed into the 4x4 in front of it (smash #1). In an attempt to cover up, the boozed up fool must have tried to get away, only to wheel spin, hitting a 2nd 4x4 diagonally opposite just outside my place (missing Jo's car - and luckily for me, John and Debbie's too). Not content with smashing into these automobiles, he must have tried to get away for a 2nd time, smashing right into the body of another car, where the wheels and suspension on his must have just given up. When I got out and had a look, there was some bloke (owner of the 4x4 possibly) was dragging the bloke out of the car as he was trying to escape again, although, this time by foot - litterally - as he wobbled around in circles.

5 minutes later - there were police swarming all over the gaff. Here was us, me in shorts and tshirt in the pouring rain, Jo in her PJs with no shoes on, and Kerry concerned about her car inches away from where they were. I went to get umbrellas and a pair of shoes for Jo to stand in rather than her catching death of cold (Jeez, I am getting old, I'm using phrases like that now) - We watched 3 chavs walk around the corner, being twats as BAU, not working out the police were around, shouting louder and louder - then walking around the drunk's car trying to work out what happened, screaming, "Has there been a crash?". Probably more suprised that they couldnt actually steal the car, they wandered off headbutting random objects and trying to flirt with their chips.

After working out that Kerry's car was actually OK, and we were so drenched it was silly, we decided to go our seperate ways (damn it) - I was returned my trainers, and umbrellas - had a quick dry off before slipping back into bed - this time I wasnt so hot, strangely enough!

some blog shit

its nearly 2am - im pretty drunk and looked at my visit stats

some dude - sure he's a nice lad and/or lass - but cant understand a word he's and/or she's on about visited my blog - so thought i would do the fav of linking back to their blog :-

http://takezero.blogspot.com/

Thanks

PS - now just ate my chicken pakora - it was nice - are you

Hole in John!

I havent been to pitch and putt for years, so I suggested it to Captain Rich and Mad Irish Johno, so after getting out of bed pretty late, I arranged for us all to meet up at Newbold Common for a knock around and some banter. After Rich admitted that he'd never played golf - and accurately said "I've never hit a club before" and me correcting him by telling him that he needed to hit the ball, rather than the club - or he would be around for a long time. We got up just after 13:15 and it did look like it was going to piss down, but thought it would be an end of week stress relief. You could see in Rich's eye he didnt fancy this at all, mainly due to being out of his comfort zone and I also got the feeling he likes to be in control of things - like I do. You cant control golf balls, its basically hit and hope - where with PCs, Photography - and to a certain extent, drinking vast amounts of beer - it does what it says on the tin.

Fore!!!!

After showing Rich the basics :- Tee, Ball, Club, hole with flag, point, swing hit, stay away from bushes - we were underway big style. Johno plays some golf, so obviously bleezed ahead in the steaks, I've played before, but tend to be better mid hole - ie, not the teeing off, or putting - aka, hitting and hoping and being jammy. Rich picked this up pretty quickly and started hitting good balls, mean while, I was in the "rough" trying to find my ball - and Johno was still leading the way, and me and Rich neck and neck. Rich gets alittle bit cocky, and rightly so, he was playing well for his first attempt. This little lad starts waving his club at rich, and mumbled something, to which, Rich replys, "Shut up you little fucker" - while waving his clubs to him from afar - this is where I believe Rich is the devil's son, and the kid starts crying - after being stung by a wasp - coincidence or Rich's evil wrath ? you decide!

After about hole 5, Rich notices the clubhouse and the fact that there might be beer in there - and all of a sudden his game picks up, not before I accidently hit the ball towards Rich and him having to, and wait for it, RUN! All I got back in reply was, "Howay man, I havent ran for 30 years, do you think I should start now?!?"

We ended up the 9 holes with Rich taking the scores - and photos, sadly - which will be available on display shortly, with Johno winning clearly on 39 points, me getting 54 points and beating Rich very very narrowly by 1 point and him coming in on 55. I'm sure Rich has other tales to tell, so when he's blogged it, I'll link it in. All in all, a relaxing afternoon, doing something different and destressing in the summersun - and LOOSING!!!!

Noo Music Scene :: Leamington Spa 1923

After an indifferent week at work, I met captain Rich and Johno down the Pig and fiddle at lunch time - mainly to fill them in with what happened at the quacks earlier today, while they ignored me and watched the cricket. I had to get back pretty early as I had one of my guys going on holiday tonight, and didnt want to leae him in the lurch when I needed to help him. We parted our different ways, gave rich back his WD40 which i had borrowed for 14 months and arranged to meet in the Well later on that day for some festive friday beverages.

They wont get their hands on my lucky charms! *

I got a call about 8pm from Rich saying he was having a wander down, so I set off, and bumped into Johno who said he was going to the Pig and Fiddle for a swift one and we would see each other later on. I half expecting to see Blunty propping up the Wells beer garden table up and Rich just looking unamused about random things - mainly the injustice for the women with idiots. Of course, I get there and Rich is propping up the bar with a bottle of stella and we retire to the beer garden, awaiting our beverage buddies....Turns out Blunty was up town, in Mumbai Bluu, buying beverages and placing his car down as payment, and Johno was staying in the Pig listening to live Irish music - fair enough, each to their own you think - so myself and Rich - and now accompanied by Steve ( from stupid, stupid, stupid and steve ) sat down and put the world to rights - including what we done for a living (Rich, you don't earn 45K), the state of London and musical tastes, then we got kicked inside at 11pm for the beer garden closing.

At this point, anyone in the area who was over the age of 45 walked in, looking shifty and scary - appears there was some Euro Dance Hip Hop Wigga Wigga Woo Trace Night on downstairs - and for some reason it pulls in middle age men having a midlife crisis. After 4 glasses of MSR with DC, I was starting to get miffed (and pretty young looking at this stage) so we called it a day - back before midnight - I am getting responsible!! yay!

Fast Response Units

After the fantastic speedy review from the docs today, I was more than suprised to receive a call from Dell asking me when they could deliver my brand spanking new PC. I thought it might have been next saturday as per their realtime system, but was very suprised to find out its going to be delivered earlier in the week - wahoo, toy time.

Want to play tic-tac-toe?

Hopefully this time next week I'll have my iPOD synced up with new music I've bought over the last couple of months, and be able to write DVDs - yay - as well as having fast access to the super-t'internet-highway-ecommerce-atmlink

Doctor Doctor, Can't you see I'm burning burning!

I've not been feeling to great over the last 2 or 3 months - the details I'll not go into, but after putting of going to the doctors from last week (being messed around with someone I was interviewing) I eventually turned up at Park Street Doctors. After the lovely old dear behind the counter slammed her fingers on the computer keyboard, tutting, kissing and looking at me, the clock, the PC, the clock, then me again, she pointed to the waiting room. I assumed that I had turned up and just narrowly missed open surgery, however, she then calmly said that there was no one else in the waiting room, and the doctors had seen everyone else - so would only need to wait 2 mins.

Oh Matron!!!

Impressed I've been in the past - and blaming Thatchers destruction of the NHS is another one of my soap box discussions, however, getting seen by a doctor in 2 mins is about as good as it gets really. After the "how much do you drink?", "whats your diet like?" and "how much exercise do you do?" - he revisited the "how much do you drink?" question after my first reply was "probably too much".

I spoke to my mother a couple of weeks ago about the situation and she suggested (and scared the living day lights out of me) that it might be an ulcer - thankfully its not - so the nice doctor sent me on my way with a slip, to see the nice old dear on reception again. This time, they had mulitplied into 3 old dears, one fanning her face with some paper saying "i get hot flushes dear, dont worry" and "I'm 21" and winking at me - not good for the imagination really.

Anyhoooo, I'm booked in for a blood test for god knows what on Tuesday afternoon.

Unpacked .... eventually

I may have moved in on St Georges day last year, but its only taken up til now to be proactive and unpack some of the "gear" I've had stacked away in my dressing room. Yes, I have a dressing room, and its not a queer as it sounds, its just a little room thats attached to my bedroom thats used for storing clothes - and obviously for the last 12 months and a bit, my "gear". This gear was stored in 3 sports bags, 1 ruck sack and 3 storage boxes and consisted of computer equipment that I may need in the future (Warning, only if the year is 1992 and I need a 9600 modem and a serial cable to connect to my mainframe).

Anyhoo, after being rather ruthless (poor ruth) with what I was keeping, I managed to get this down to two storage boxes and 2 black bags of rubbish. On top of my proactive work tonight, I've managed to screw the three doors to my wardrobe which have been hanging around in my passage way for 12 months.

This combined with hanging up photo frames that have been on the floor in a corner for 12 months, some photos I've had for 3 years and polyfilling some cracks - I've had an interesting week staying away from the Booze.

Now I just need to work thru the stuff I have in my living room and minimise all of that and make space for my ever increasing DVD collection.

He's Football Crazy, Football Mad

Believe it or not .. this week has been pretty dull, mainly due to the fact I havent been down the boozer, getting into scrapes and "amuzing situations" when i'm out of my skull. Also, believe it or not, I havent had a drink since Saturday night - which is some kind of minor (read major) miracle.

Instead, I popped down to the gym on Monday, managed a mile of run/jog/run/jog in 10 mins - not bad going really. On top of that, I played 90 mins of football lastnight, scoring once (nice little nutmeg between the keepers legs - sweet) followed by 60 mins of football at lunchtime today - scoring 2, setting up about 3.

Obviously now, I'm hoping that my legs will grow back, after they've falled off today - couple of tablets and a pint of milk - we're sorted. All in all, an exercise-crazy week - now, wheres my can of stella gone ...?

Cold Winter in Dell!

My fantastic and nippy micro system blew up about 3 months ago - meaning I'm doing all my correspondence on my laptop - which isnt great - esp when i've lot the ability of uploading songs to my iPOD and potentially access to my digital photos I've collected over the years. I've been plotting on buying a new motherboard for a while, to replace the zapped and fried one, but fancied upgrading to a PC thats growable - rather than the one PCI slot that this micro system had.

Now Rich got a Dell PC a while back and he's never reported any faults with it, however coming back to me saying its like shit on a stick fast - so I thought I would look up the website - see what they could do with it. Luckily they've got a promotion on (free delivery, 57 quid off for so much spent, a further 57 quid if you go over a certain second price) - so after adding bits to it (DVD RW drive, WinXP Prof, Graphics Card & 1Gb mem) I managed to get a decent price. Now that I've bunged it on my card - I want to play, sadly, wont be here for another 10 days :o(

I didnt go for the 17" TFT monitor - maybe in a couple of months - but it does come with a spanking brandnew black monitor - mmm black monitors!

The year is 1975 :: Lets, EXTERMINATE!!!!!!

Before John and Debbie left for their holiday, John returned a number of objects that belonged to me - including coldplay's new album, a couple of PS2 games and some other stuff I cant recall right now. In his other hand, he had a black CD wallet and a big grin on his face. As he opened it up, it became clear that he had a number of DVDs - some of which were backup of his music, some horror flicks that he'd downloaded, but a dual pack of DVDs that he said I would be interested in.

These were a 6 parter to Dr Who (Tom Baker) and the Genesis of the Daleks - I watched 3 episodes lastnight and the remaining 3 tonight - fantastic story line, fantastic visual effects and acting - baring in mind this was 1975 and special effects were hardly a known back then. Basically the story line is that an "unknown" time lord, has asked the Dr to destroy the existance of the Daleks and removing them from history & future. The 6 episodes explained how they first became invented and by whom (Davros) - also included the reasoning behind the invention and why the Daleks killed Davros - only to be locked in a bunker for thousands of years. The usual dilema that we've seen the recent doctor faced with - does he have the right to destroy and kill species - so there is still the same moral story line over the years. Certainly worth watching and now I'm trying to get hold of Invasion of Earth etc.

BBQ Saturday

With the nice weather kicking around, thought it would be a good way to get friends around for our first full weekend together, with vacations and people being away etc - so invited the lovely nomes, mr palin, john-o, his bird, blunty and captain headworth, and a couple of the new/old students. Blunty shyed off, due to be nearly on his death bed from the night before, the students had a birthday to attend, so it was left with, once again, the usual suspects.

BBQ got going nicely, i made my special spuds, Rich kindly brought some crisps that I forgot to pick up and we had a sociable drink. We chatted, nattered, set tea lighters off down the canal, which then sank sadly (need to plan here) and continued to drink, and listened to music and stared into the night. Rich and I took some photos, so be interesting to see how they went.

We went inside, continued to chat and listen to music, then Rich,Nomes and Andy left, leaving me, Johno and his lass too talk for 20 or so minutes, then they left. Once again Nomes done a fantastic job of clearing up, without anyone noticing - so thanks Nomes.

Ikea :- Bad for your wallet

I've been after some kitchen curtains for ages, I've also been after some nice ikea towels to match my bath "sheet" and 2 x magazine racks to make my lovely flat look tidy. I popped up to the Brum store with Captain Shabby Cowie, sadly, only came back with one set of items, the towels, yet still managing to spend 128 quid, plus a further 10 quid at the swedish store. The breakdown is as follows;

• The towels I was after
• 4 x wine glasses
• Veg Drainer
• 6 x colourful vases for my small kitchen window
• 2 x glass vases with
• 2 x bags of sand (1 x silver, 1 x blue)
• 3 x picture stands
• 1 x set of prints
• 2 x 8 clothes hangers
• 4 x storage jars for the kitchen
• 2 x storage boxes
• 4 x scented candles
• 1 x light for the bedroom minus bulb
• 3 x funny shape icecube holder thingys
• 1 x ikea plant

At the swedish shop I got;

• Gifflar - kanal (cinnamon rolls)
• 3 x cans of swedish lager
• 2 x cans of swedish cider (for captain blunt)
• chocolate
• Mini D'aim

Still good day had by all, didnt they ..

Skoobie Doobee Doooo!

I got back from work the other night to find a nice present through the post. Its a Skoobie pack, which what all the hip and street 8 year olds are doing these days. Basically plastic strips which you can make into keyrings and er, things which I havent thought of yet. One of the girls on holiday sent me up - I've mentioned her before - but I introduce Emily - Welcome to the Internet. She also doesnt believe I have a photo of her - so this is to prove her wrong :)

Emily, pictured centre - she's very nice you know.

Pep talk friday

After a long, knackering week, I thought it would be nice to relax by the patio and just chill. I done this, listened to music, I blinked and it was around 7.30, so decided food was probably a very good option at this point, sadly there wasnt anything in the fridge, and lazyness kicked in, so ended up with a Mamma's Pizza from across the road. In between this, Captain Rich asked if I wanted a couple of beers down the Well, to continue the chill aspect, which I agreed and we got down there around 10ish.

I had a bit of a character assasination from someone - labelling me immature and a tw$t - so the last thing I really needed was her turning up to the pub, blanking me all but evil eyes across the beer garden/pub. I totally admit I am immature - I like a laugh, I'm a child trapped in a blokes body, but when you have a full time job, interviewing people on the phone and away from the PC - you dont need this kind of abuse, nor do you really need text messages at 05:20 in the morning saying that she's bored.

Anyhoo, at this point, Rich slips into semi drunk state and decides to lecture me about how I'm an attractive lad, good laugh, good sense of humour and "how the students love a bit of magic steve" - continued by a rant of "why do you fall for the wrong people, you could have the run of the place if you put your mind together". To conclude .... the following equation is now being followed closely. I will not fall, flirt, chat up anyone who is :-

• Seeing someone / has a boyfriend
• Mental

Easier said than done!

Show me the Money!!!!

After successfully getting rid of John and Debbie on their "vacation", I've now put their flat up for sale - allowing me to make a massive profit. Just their car to part exchange now, then its like theyve never existed!

Only joking, woke up this morning to find a for sale sign there, which certainly wasnt there when I stumbled past lastnight at none o'clock.

Dont know who's put their place up for sale - certainly not me, unless I done it lastnight when I stumbled in lastnight, I dont think Laura has done it, unless she's had my idea and decided to put it up for sale. I've now got my bible out, praying its going to be some fit single lass who likes blond headed geordie - reward me jebus for my good work to the lord!!!

BYE THEN HELEN!!!!

The lovely (but smoggy) Helen is leaving towards the end of the week, to return to the rich and prosperous land of 'Boro - where the streets are paved with gas masks and smog. A leaving do was typically arranged, IBM style to allow all her friends and colleagues to send her off and basically an excuse to purchase alcohol. The "gang" started off at the Oriental Star for some grub, where as the sensible three hit Pound Night at the Well for some preJug and Jester beers.

We met up in the beer garden and being socialites, we talked to students new and old, as well as the usual suspects. Beer started to flow pretty well and and the random world of Steve, Rich and Blunty started to kickin as part of Leamington Spa's Summer of Free Entertainment campaign.

Helen - Without gas mask.

Usual suspects : me, rich, cabinboy blunty

The stereo system in the beer garden suddenly changed to "Themes of James Bond" - where myself and Miss MoneyBlunt reinacted the scenes from James Bond - using the medium of ... Beer, fingers and mime. At one point, I tried to do something from the Matrix ... and nearly put my back out - myself and blunty turning around to find people staring at us in wonder.

Bye Helen - you'll be missed.

Rallying around the UK

As you may or may not know - but John and Debbie are now in the states - starting their trip across country. I dropped them off at Heathrow and made a slow trip back up north - theyve started to document their journey, however concerned that they have the wrong impression about my driving technique. I wont even tell them about the fact that I nearly crashed into someone on the first roundabout out of the airport due to the dodgy angle of the wing mirrors - but hey.

You can catch up with them on ...

http://hartnup.net/travels/category/oregon-trail/

Episode one and a bit ...

http://hartnup.net/travels/2005/07/09/packed-and-ready-to-go/

Tale of Two Airports

After John and Debbie kindly picked me up from the Airport on Thursday morning, I agreed I would take them down to Heathrow, rather than them having to a) get a taxi b) get a train or c) end up having to leave their car in the long stay carpark for 4 weeks. They kindly offered me the loan of their car while they were away, to get to work, and simple stuff - very kind. Debbie phoned up the insurance company while I was away, to which they quoted her 68 quid for the 4 weeks, or 22 quid for the year - strange - anyhow, I was insured for their car - yay - wheels.

I popped around to their gaff at 2pm today, where I found they had 4 small bags in total, 2 "luggage bags" which were the size of small rucksacks - and their laptop bags - talk about travelling light. Anyhooooo, we were on the road, Debbie drove down the M40 and headed towards Terminal 4 and we got there in good time, I took a photo for them to start their travel log, big them good day and was on my way back to Leamington - took around 90 mins to get back - not bad really.

I'd agreed with Rich that if I had access to the car, I would try doing them a fav by picking him and his mate up from Brum airport - His plane was due to land around 22:45 - but luckily I checked the T'interweb and found it set off a little early and was due to land at 22:30. Sat behind the slowest carravette in the world, I get a text from Rich saying he was waiting outside - managed to get back for 23:30 in the end - not bad for someone who hasnt driven properly for 4 months! YAY!

"Cute - like a new born hamster"

John took this when he picked me up - and showed me lastnight before we went out for curry, not really fair after lack of sleep and being suprised by a flash going off in my face at none o'clock

Notice also the fact that im gripping to my duty free bag - protective of my fine purchases. Proof that I did catch the sun in some form

Coming Back Right Atcha!

Well, I'm back, tales of the trip will appear below once I get the chance and place them in some kind of diary form. I got kicked out of the Emerald Apt's Room yesterday around 10am UK time, and we had to hang around to get picked up to return to the Airport. Our flight that was flying into Brum was leaving around 2am (Thursday), and out coach pick up was around midnight - a drain on any enjoyable holiday. Anyhoo, I think because there were some other delays flying into the UK and everyone checking in nicely and quickly, we got a headstart. John and Debbie had kindly offered to pick me up from the airport, regardless of the early start, so once I got via passport control, text'd Debbie not really knowing what the time was - it was about 60 mins before we had originally agreed to meet, but bless them, they were up (Debbie going to bed around 9pm to get an early night, John going slightly later around 00:20). My bag was the first on the baggage reclaimbelt - which has never happened.

Was nice to be picked up, up to speed on the goss (Paul's moved to Japan, apparently) - then dropped off. After 3 hours kip, I dazed around home, cleaning up and started the post-vacation washing, and then headed into town to purchase;

• 12"/80s/#2 CD
• Green Day's American Idiot
• Food
• Mr Men Fridge Magnets

Butternut Tracks

After setting back in to the world of the living, I checked my MSN emails and found a mail from Mr Ant, passing on a URL to some music that I might be interested in. Turns out, its one of the guys from Collapsed Lung, Jim, who's band, Butternut, had just posted some new tracks online. Ant mentioned in the email that they are pretty similar to Collapsed Lung, upbeat & catchy lyrics - so I thought I would give it a whizz.

Turns out that its pretty cool - three tracks;

• What is Art
• Uncle b-boy
• Freed

Anyhoo, you can download the tracks from the website:

http://www.purevolume.com/butternut and you can find the downloads in mp3 format so you can listen on ipods at :

http://www.purevolume.com/butternut/music

Ant also mentioned that he was doing some Bass playing up at Leicester on Friday Night 15th for a mate. Venue info is :

http://www.ents24.com/web/venue/34149/Leicester/The_Firefly.html

and Flyer information can be found at :

http://kabukikore.net/sarandon/images/FFlyer.gif

Oh Why Why Why!!!!!!!!

Greek Night again, at a special price of 10 Euro's for food and some drink, I decided it would be a good investment. The only downside was the return of the Karaoke nightmare from the previous - we had a massive plan, drink our drinks, finish our food and RUN. Fair play I thought, and it worked, we had a secondary plan, the ring of trust - where we decided that NOONE would sing, regardless. This worked all of about 3 nanoseconds, when the king of karaoke sham pointed to me and screamed on his microphone, "We have someone to do 'Delilah' - he was here last week" - I was scared, like first day of school scared, but hey, at least we had the ring of trust.

The guy was singing the Monkee's 'Cheer Up Sleepy Jean' - and came around with his microphone and got people to fill in the gaps, he headed towards the ring of trust - at first, we were strong, after the first person, then it broke - the curse of karaoke set in. The knees were going, the hands were shaking and anger took over - there is a Geordie chant called 'Cheer up Peter Reid' - of course the bloke hit me at the wrong time - enter Steve - "Cheer up Peter Reid, With your Monkey's Heed, Shit Mackem Bastard, and a Shit Football Team" - I of course learnt from my mistake the previous week and left out any bad language to avoid any further embarressment and prayed this would be enough to put off the man with the mic coming back.

This didnt work ... he came back and asked the lads to sing Delilah - the wrong side of a lager based coma was heading towards us, but we agreed to help his gig kick off. We sang it, and like the week before (with the addition of a beer glass in my hand) I would sing the "Why Why Why" section. It went quicker than last week - strangely aided by booze - but we were actually clapped off the stage - so so bad. Even Beccy and Emily said that we were very good - and from then on .. we rated everyone else on our standards.

Then cometh the sucker punch, the bloke walking around singing "Hey Jude" by the Beatles - of course, I was singing the live version in my head, and moving my lips at the sametime, so then the dude homes in on me - and hands me the mic and I reenter Beatles Live mode and "Judey Judey Judey Juuuuudey". The dude is then in stitches due to my "duet" and can barely go on, leaving me to plug the gaps, singing more "Hey Jude get me a beer"

Still receiving texts from shipshape blunty!