Lads Night Out

Myself and John popped up to the New Windmill Ground to watch Leam play Tipton, which was supposed to be one of the hardest games of the season, even at home, and loads of prematch banter between the two sets of supports on the message boards - including YAMYAMs. John said he would drive up - due to the fact my car still hasnt been fixed, nor have the garage even called me to discuss when they can do it. Anyhooo, we got up there with enough time to grab a cuppa, a pie (or burger) and find our usual place. I'll not bore you too much with the details, however, Leam won 3-0, with the 2nd looking a bit dubious for offsite - but you have to take your changes when you can.

John mentioned that with Debbie being away, and Tom H having a night pass, they were thinking of a lads night out - and at the time I wasnt sure if I should sleep, or go out and have a laugh - as its a while since we towned it around Leam. After takeaway pizza to fill me up and place a layer on my stomach, myself and John (I was 10 mins late) ventured up town to, grabbing some cash and ended up meeting Tom and his mate "Nige" in the Willoughby, where double JD and coke / Southern Comfort and coke was on the menu. It was discussed that we would embark on a Goonies style trip around Leam - and for one night, become Townies. We ended up in Satchwells next, where again, doubles on the menu, taking in the sights and sounds of the "legal" drinkers and so so short skirts. On our wander up the Parade, we managed to get flyers to CodeRed - which said "next door to the White Horse" - to which we laughed. It appears that they've split the White Horse into two, the old side being the White Horse, and those just about old enough to drink go to R&B friendly CodeRed, where the girls were wearing even less.

We ended up in Moo next, where we managed to chinwag, say hi to a couple of people I knew, and look at the lovely ladies with the a) trendies b) chav c) just so wrong boyfriends. We had a couple of drinks in there - and spent most of the night drawing things on the windows covered in condensation - Tom managed to pour a glass of spirits all over his trousers, making it look like he's pissed his pants. One round in Moo - £21.60 for 4 drinks - cheap then! From here it went a little hazy, but it goes long the lines of we end up in Rios - Tom paying for us, and then us paying Tom back, then more booze and a bit of dance. It also introduced the new game of "Which one of you lovely ladies is single, Steve's single and looking?"

After more dancing, and loosing John, Tom and Nige, I bumped into a couple of people that work at the Robbins Well, so "hung out" with them - including a foxy minx who i've seen around, yet, never spoken too. We got dancing, at one point some random crazy dancing behind me grabbing my arse - turning around and grinning, thankfully the Minx grinned and saved me. There was this bloke there, who is about as camp as a field full of treehugging hippies - at a camp-expo, and gay, apparently. So, finding little miss minx snogging Mr Gay, my humour started to go dramatically south, and after chasing someone away to China, I now have some how managed to convince a girl that snogging a Gay bloke, is a much better option. Time to give up I reckon!!

Anyhoo, I managed to get back and into bed around 3.30 and find blood all over my shirt, although I wasnt bleeding - nice. I woke up with the nice sound of "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in my ears - and ventured into town, trying to clear my head. I managed to catch up with Nomes and Andy, and had lunch in the Lounge - and very nice too it was. After food shopping and buying a tshirt, I returned home, to tidy and chill - need sleep - badly.

Alwight?!?

Myself, John and Debbie had a quick curry (which extend to about 90 mins) in town, then due to Debbie having to travel to London, and Celeb Big Brother concluding - we ended up back at theirs. Thanks to Mr Tivo, we were able to track back and it appeared that Chantelle, Barrymore, "Maggott" and Preston (not north end) were left as the final big 4. Brilliant you may think - and to be honest, Mr Barrymore's first week's antics, I thought the public would have taken a disliken to him. Fair play to him and fair play to the public for backing someone who was pulled apart by the UK press. I personally have nothing against him, nor his shows in the past, and I certainly wouldnt have an issue with him coming back to the UK screen - although you have to worry if he gets knocked back down a peg for whatever reason. Personally - I think he is the only celeb to use big brother as a medium and use it successfully - and to that, I take my hat off to him (if I was wearing one) and say congrats.

The Chantelle situation, you have to worry, that if (as believed by the media) she was led astray by miss marsh - what happens now she's "famous". Good luck to her tho, its everyones dream to come from "nothing" to being a real "celeb" overnight - lets hope she does it with style - and if she's looking for someone ;o)

Where is your Family?

After a bit of abuse, banter and chinwag with Mr Bluntarian, he passed on the following link that shows the approx area of people with a certain surname at different times in history (1881 and 1998). The root link is :- http://www.spatial-literacy.org/UCLnames/Surnames.aspx

For close friends, I've linked a couple of examples;

Me (under Wharton - dont ask) - 1881 1998

Headworth - 1881 1998

Hartnup - 1881 1998

Pickford - 1881 1998

Dee - 1881 1998

Wildsmith - 1881 1998

And you thought this blog was based on chaos, shambles and drunken jibberish and not science and fact - shame on you!!

Oh You ChittyChittyBANGBANG

I was on the way to wednesday night 5aside football, driving up towards the roundabout where the Ford Factory and Blockbusters are located - doing as I do most Wednesdays night. Nothing wrong with the night - completely clear, traffic was average, and I had to give way to some traffic around the roundabout. Once it was clear, I started to accelerate (5/10 mph) over the roundabout - then - BANG!!! - next thing I know, this 206 is swirving all over the road heading towards MacDonalds. My first reaction was, "oh, hello" then, "hang on a tick, thats not supposed to happen" then "best find out who hit me then I suppose" - strangely enough - all very calmly.

I managed to get his details - and it appears he was in the right lane coming from behind me, trying to left! Reminding myself of basic physics, no, not the law about touching light bulbs, mains sockets when the electricity is switched on, but cars are not gaseous bodies and infact, if you hit one into another - it makes a big bang and a bit of mess. Trying to get this message across to the "3rd party", as my insurance company now call him, was a little more difficult so reduced to the basics. If you want to go left, you stay in the left lane, if you're in the right lane, you turn right, or merge in the ahead lane - once again, I think this failed, only to get a comment of "Well your car doesnt appear to be damaged". Well Mister, trust me - 5 minutes before you smashed into my car - it was even less damaged.

Anyhow, the car appeared to be driveable - so headed over to the football area - had a semi decent game - missing about 5 changes, hitting the post once - but starting to get the feel for right midfield as well as up front. I'm getting the hang of protecting the ball using my body and being able to turn pretty quickly - and at this rate, when I'm 40, I could join an U15 team with my newly developed skills.

One of the lads followed me home - just incase the whole steering column knackered up and left me stranded in the middle of Warwick - luckily its fine. Just got a small problem of forking out 200 quid for excess while the insurance company investigate my demolition derby friend "Mr 3rd party". I phoned my sister who was in the police, trying to work out if I had to get them involved - as its one of lifes funny situations, where there isnt a documented procedure as to what to do.

Cold Weather, Arctic Monkeys!

I've been keeping tabs on the Arctic Monkeys for a couple of months, managing to get ahem-hold of some of their tracks, and on Monday, their new Album has just been released called "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not".

I bought it from iTunes as I couldnt get into town and only just been able to sit down and listen to it properly - all I can say is buy it - its different, but refreshing.

Cold Cold Football

Tuesday night football was back on the menu tonight, with the brakes playing at home against Romulus. With Debbie at work, I tend to take John up as he's without the car, so was over the moon when we get outside, to find that the windscreen was iced over and had to clear it. The in-car/bus thermometer was reading -1 at that point - but, wearing thermals, I knew I'd have the last laugh (ah ah hahahahahaha - thats my evil laugh, if i could develop one). We managed to get up there a couple of minutes before kick off, mooched around and I handed over the prog and fanzine that I bought for John at the weekend.

We decided to get a cuppa on the way to the other side of the ground, just as we kicked off - while we were stuck in the 2 people long queue, we managed to give away a pen, and the opposition score from it - all after a cup of tea and our backs turned. Debbie then turned up after getting rid of kiddy winkles from college and joined us. We played "guess the attendance" with 322 - John and Debbie being piss takers, decided to block my answer, but guessing one either side - the result being 321 - not bad really for mine - so I'm going to claim that result. John managed to win the half time raffle, by claiming a bottle of white wine - bonus and we managed to slowly freeze while watching football. We managed to get goal back and looked like we could have gone on to win it - only for 90 mins to be blown.

Return trip back home - the in-car computer registered -4 - lovely - sat here shivering trying to get feeling back into my fingers. Hard fought battle - but, end of the day, the opposition are 2nd in the league or something - so well deserved really. Might even be a "we've turned the corner" style comment that Mr Souness might come out with.

Why oh Why oh Why - II

I think someone summed it up well today - "you must have done something wrong in a former life", of course, this is related to the woman situation in my world - well, lack of I should say. Just before Xmas, I bumped into and met a nice lass, someone I felt comfortable with - then, all of a sudden, she's jetting off to China. I thought I was a decent snog, you know, nothing bad, nothing good, but decent - but never as bad as someone moving half way around the world because of me!

Anyhow, before she left, she sent me a text with her MSN address - and once in a while we chat - you know, nothing heavy, just chinwag, trying to flirt a little (never works well on MSN, i tell you). So, being a brave lad that I have been recently with Sarah, today I asked if I could have a surname to add to my phone's address book for her number. Instead I got, "might as well delete that number, doesnt work anymore". So, as Paula Abdul used to say, two steps forward, and three steps back - but then she also danced with a cartoon cat, so dont trust her too much!

Anyhow, doubt there is much I can do in the next x number of months, while I'm stuck here in oh so warm England, and young foxy Sarah is stuck in China - damn my cursed women luck!

England - Nation of Animal Lovers

We already know that we're a race of cat, dog etc lovers - and its highlighted when an animal is an abnormal situation - such as the Whale which has swam up the Thames. Rather than calling it/him/her a Whale, I've decided to give the Whale a name - William - feels more friendly. Rich told me yesterday afternoon that Sky News were running the headline story of "Whale in Thames" and I thought he was winding me up. Needless to say, after switching Sky News on - the WhaleCopter flying over the Thames, Whalexperts from around the world being interviewed on the chances of survival, and random punters texting in offering their advice;

Why can't we airlift the creature out of the Thames and dump it back in the
North Sea?

I'm distressed at the state of the Whale, it looks tired

Myself and Rich had a few suggestions - including letting sharks (I'm calling Simon and Sid) loose in the Thames to push the Whale down the Thames, then release something bigger to scare the sharks out of the Thames. Rich suggested taking the Whale for a pint and sorting out our differences, then get the 632 bus down to Southend and dropping it off at the beach.

William - The Whale - look, he's smiling!

Some guff I stole from the BBC news website about Whales - and as you can see - they live in the sea! wow, and people are suprised that the Thames is in the area of "Where they live"

After about 5 hours of live feed, Sky News returned to the desk, interviewed Terry Nutkins (friend of Johnny Morris, Dolphins and other sealife creatures) about the Whale, and Terry, bless him, offered more common sense than anyone, including the 101 "Whalexperts" on the banks of the Thames.

Then, all of a sudden, "Someone has been arrersted in Buckingham Palace, but now, back to the Whale in the Thames, more on that story later"

Anyway, I'm off to London to cash in on this, with my printed tshirts of Charlotte Church saying "I love Whales" and to offer my "Whalexpert" advice on the species, everyone else is doing it - why not me! No, I wont be heading to the Whaleway Station, like some pecker suggested on Sky News.

Film 2006

I have a reputation for avoiding scary / horror / thriller films - just dont like them at all, and its just not the fact that my finger nails are embedded into the nearest chair for 90 mins, its the fact it embeds into my head and continues to scare the crap out of me. Needless to say, I avoid these type of films, and stick with comedy and action films - just on the off chance I watch something creepy and dont sleep for a week - and in all honesty, the scariest movie that I've bought for my collection is Men in Black, or something strange like that.

I bought War of the Worlds, mainly because it looked pretty good, and something that I've been after for a while, one way or another, so on my Happy Friday In (In is the new Out, divvent ya knar) I settled down with some Tetley and switched the lights off.

I know the film isnt supposed to be scary and probably due to my current state of constant paranoia - well - and the flow of alcohol, I slowly and surely started to brick my pants. Personally I thought it was a good film, good special effects and decent acting - and no Debbie, I didnt cry at the end! I dont know how the son managed to get to Boston at the end - which was a bit of mystery to me.

Needless to say, I mentioned that it wasnt just a normal film to Rich and got back, "State of you" - so I've decided to keep my experiences skin deep, to avoid embarresment and any further piss take. Anyhooooo - good film, easy watching, still pants bricking tho.

Stressfree football

Normally when you play football, you try putting all kinds of misery out of your mind - or it reflects in your game. This was true for last thursdays sham of a thursday 2 hour lunch football session, when I let work get in the way of my game - missing the target 20 times - so I was eager to put my shamtastic football to one side for a couple of days.

I've been swimming a bit this week and I could feel the way my running was improved, able to keep up with people and in fact, for the first time in a long time, able to beat people - yay! I managed to score a left footer lastnight, even tho, I have to admit, I thought I scuffed the ball and put it wide - but hey, as my old man told me - "Son, they all count".

Today was revenge day, I missed so many last week, I had to borrow hands to count them on - and feeling a bit bloated from a 12" pizza at 23:00 lastnight I expected a repeat performance was on the cards - however, nope, managed to score about 5, setting up 2 - and yet we still lost! Felt like I worked my socks off (just as well I bought a new pair at the weekend) and came out feeling great - got back home, made a drink of water - only to find out I had to be on 2 conf calls between 2 and 4 - yay, sitting in sweaty gear for me.

Everyone has a Fairy Godmother

You know in the olden days - when people used to have fairy godmothers and such like - well I dont think times have changed so much. For example, tuesday was a bit of a shit day, and probably was a result to 2 weeks of spiralling sham that came to a head. To be fair, I really didnt to too much on Tuesday, apart from doing 100 lengths at the pool, held a team meeting, got shouted at by people - the usual tuesday gubbins. It got to about 2pm, when I thought, why do I bother, why do I put up with this - anyhow, in the same 3 minute time frame, I ended up talking to Rich who suggested a couple of pints to put the world to rights.

So, after a couple more meetings, more people shouting at me - it got to 16:45 when I thought bugger it - I asked Rich if he could get off from work a little earlier than normal and invited him down to the Well. Rich has a real knack of putting things in to perspective - "Pint of Carling Steve?" and you know what, it worked.

However, due to rushing around, swimming and having conf calls etc, I forgot that I only had a gammon sandwich all day, so after the 3rd pint, I was completely minced and unable to speak. I ended up getting a cheesy chip putty from the Well, and ended up forcing another pint down my neck. Rich has some kind of a pizza fetish at the moment, so we ended up in Piccolino's while he shammed around getting a take out, giving me the opportunity to have a swift half pint - mmm.

Thanks Rich, 60 more mins and the men in the white coats would have come and took me away - and no, not the lab technicians.

Healthy Steve - two words you would never think are linked together

I'm in a healthy frame of mind for a change - it all started in the car this morning while I listened to Radio 1, and they had some health dude on, suggesting ways of getting fitter. Normally, it goes in one ear and comes out the other - but for a change, decided to listen, and do something about it more importantly. I got off to a bad start when I had a twix with my cup of tea, but my defence is that they didnt have any apples in the vending machine. I was due to go to a meeting, however got told I wasnt needed, so came home - after a number of meetings and presentations, I decided enough was enough and I should go for a swim.

Swimming is like running, apart from getting wet, not having to concentrate on running and really, you dont have to make too much of an effort - I find - which suited me well. After 50 lengths I decided to go for a sauna, mainly because there was a scary fat man in the jacuzzi smiling and talking to himself. I relaxed, chilled and tried to find out if the fat scary man had left - just my luck - still there. Bugger it I thought, I'm away home - watch some TV, do some work, eat some healthy food - be happy - only to find, when when I was walking out, some fit lass smiled and said Hi to me. I'd walked too far to turn around - damn that crazy scary fat man!

When I returned home and had a chat with upstairs, I switched my George Foreman grill on, bunged some rice to boil - slapped on chicken and red & green peppers on the grill - 10 mins - healthy meal - and I'd made it myself. To be fair, it was boil in the bag rice - but still - healthy all the same. I even washed it down with OJ and a healthy style cheesecake - mmmm.

Holland & Football - normally linked - not today

I had an email from my boss's boss asking if I could help some point out in Holland - running around like a headless chicken trying to get ready for Thursdays Work/Life Balance 5aside - it didnt really help my cause. Apparently they had some massive issues which they asked for help - and I said I could help in PD - but also get one of my guys to assist if need be. Before I know it - some Dutch dude is phoning me up asking me to travel to Holland to assist - er aye! Steady there skipper!

I turned up for football, where we had one man advantage and we played half pitch - which personally I think its a bit poor, but hey - less to run. I knew things were starting to go badly when I tried to chip the last man and ended up missing pretty badly. The general jist of this story is - insert 50 mins and 20 shots on target, with no goals, and alot of banter from the opposition. Normally I would have got at least 3 or 4 of them on a good day - however their keeper was in complete form - at which point, I was 1-on-1 with the keeper, I hit the ball, the ball deflected off the keeper back to myself - and again, and again - missed.

We got hammered, completely hammered and when I got back to my place to continue working - I had an instant message from the guy who arranges Thursday football saying, "One of the attendants felt sorry for the one who missed all the goals - they give us discount" - cheeky little sod. Need to get fitter again, starting with swimming on Friday after work, with Debbie!

Lost with LOST

It was Debbie's birthday today, and with being manic at work, I had to pop into town to get a couple of bits and bobs and her present. After returning back home to continue to work, I never got the chance to wrap it - then had to pop out again to organise 5aside football. Its starting to become a bit of a drag, because you know what its like - some weeks you just cant be arsed - however, I've got to make that extra effort because I pay for it, arrange it and have to ensure that people turn up the next week.

Anyhow, after a crap game of football - by not scoring any - however setting up someone with a fantastic threw-ball/chip, I returned back home, wrapped up Debbie's presents and took them around to her flat where I said a quick hello to herself and John.

I returned to my gaff, continued making my roast dinner - sat down with a pint of Tetley's Smooth and switched the TV on. The last two episodes of LOST series one was on tonight and although having not watched the full series, I decided it would be a nice chilled out thing to do. The first episode completed and I thought to myself, after pouring myself a second can, that they would have to run with the conclusions pretty quickly in the last episode to make things a little more clearer. OOOH, how wrong can you get - invisible tree lifting gubbins, pirates stealing kids and a hatch being opened up - all left me in a bit of a disarray. In fact, some would say, left more questions than answers, and only to be told that the 2nd series would be shown in the spring.

Looking vr confused, I went to bed, but not sleeping due to the lingering cold and hearing things outside next to the canal - handy.

Tester Warburton!

Mr Rich was kind of enough to give me one of his invites to the Windows Live Messenger (Basically MSN version 8) Beta testing. There are a number of versions kicking around the joint that you can download, but requires some proxy software to bypass the Mircosoft security systems, however this just needs to assign an OK against your name and allows you to sign in.

I have to say, its a massive change in terms of the interface, and its taken a bit of getting used too. Its all a bit XP'y - with bright colours and billy big buttons - but once you get there, it is actually pretty good. I signed up for another Beta yesterday, Windows Live Mail beta, which apparentl I'll hear about in the next couple of weeks - all sounds a bit like hotmail - but draggy droppy kind of gubbins with a 2Gb mail file - I only get 100Mb at work!!

Moment of Bright madness

I've had a couple of light bulbs that have litterally blown up - leaving part of the bulb ( the metal bit ) inside the light fitting. Its been like this for a couple of weeks, and I decided to do something about it, well, when I came across the spare bulbs in the cupboard anyhow. I done the sensible thing and turned the lights off, and had a good look inside the fitting and tried turning the bits that were left over.

I have to say, in a moment of stupidness, it looked safe and decided to try turning the remaining bulb while the light was on - thinking nothing would happen, well, til *BANG* - plunged in complete darkness with only a massive bright light around my thumb. My first thought was feck, what have I done, the next bit was, what do I do ? do I earth myself? do I run my thumb under a tap?

Luckily, due to the fuse and wiring of the flat, it had done the tripswitch in - stopping me from doing any further harm.

Light still not fixed - thumb throbbing slightly!

Boring Boring Football

After lastnights relaxing and taking it easy happy friday, I slept in a little, popped into town to get a very cheap copy of Mario Kart - Double Dash, to play on my Game Cube. I've not played on my Game Cube for a while - mainly because John and Debbie have had it next door to play Donkey Conga (honestly - tut!) and I got the idea from John who's just purchased a new Nitendo DS.

On returning from town, and venturing via Subway to get a sandwich, it was time to get changed into warm gear to watch the Brakes play Boldmere St Michaels'. It was starting to snow, and rain, and get cold - so a couple of layers went on, including thermals and a wooly hat. We got up there just before 3pm and the weather had improved and was getting a little warmer due to the shelter. I ordered myself an FA Cup limited addition Brakes football shirt from the guy, and he also mentioned that he had an umbrella for me if I was still interested - fine by me - so he's going to call me when they are ready.

The game itself, was vr scrappy, its what you expect in the middle of winter, a mudpit, scrappy play and very little chances. This continued til about 85 mins into the game, then the Brakes managed to step up a gear, previous missed passes, were now hitting the targets, and they were becoming vintage Brakes again. Then the final whistle - another draw at home (never going to beat Chesterfields') - final score 0-0 - match report can be found here. I also won "guess the attendance" with my answer of 412, actual attendance was 423.

Got home, warmed up, played Double Dash, had food, watched "Walking with Monsters" and indulged in a bottle of wine - got drunk, entered coma, The End.

Junior Blanks - Free Music!

I had an MSN from Ant (used to be in Collapsed Lung, DJ Scissor Kicks and now of ex-Junior Blanks) saying that the band has posted all their music online. There is the option to either download the zip files (consists of about 20 tracks) or email them and get actual records sent out.

I was only missing three tracks and have to say, I was impressed with the ones I have now got in my collection - including Medicine Show and Heaven Help Them All (which includes a backing track of the Crash Test Dummies' mmm mmm mmm song)

Anyhow, you can download them free of charge at :

http://www.juniorblanks.co.uk/

Festive Time of year - not at all commercial

Anyone interested in Easter Eggs ? Somerfield now has them on sale - not bad for 5th Jan!