Facts of the day :-

• 4942 steps achieved today with my Walker's Walk-o-meter
• The Hollywood version of "Planet of the Apes" is wank
• The kebabital doesnt have lovely nurses in sexy uniforms
• Grown men in nurses uniforms - not attractive - Halloween or not
• "a couple of beers" with Rich, isnt a couple of beers
• coming home to a rave, after an all day session, isnt the best thing in the world!

"Just a quiet couple"

Well, after playing GTA lastnight, I decided to sleep in a little today - mainly due to a Stelle induced coma, but got up around lunchtime. I thought to myself, have a couple of cups of tea in starbucks, chinwag with my old gentleman's club chum Rich and a compete in some shopping around town, before getting home to watch Sky Sports News Centre.

Anyhoo, it appears that Rich had a skin full, and attended the Kebabital before being sick and get a reply from my voice mail I left him, strangely enough asking if I wanted to go for a quick beverage, "Just a quiet couple, not stopping all afternoon, got chops in my bag and dont want them to go off". So, after a Hoegaarden, Guiness (x7) & Carling - taking part in Palace v Brum, Watching ALL of Saturdays normal fixtures, Blackburn v Liverpool - AND the fact that we were taking part in conversation with Robin's Well's resident Simpleton - it was time to go home.

Not before time, Rich enters the Kebabital - Ironic

Walk on by!

Life is so peachy, not only is it Friday, officially the weekend and GTA is available - The following device turned up in the post. Walkers walk-0-meter - which tracks how many steps you make, and up til now, im 387 - and thats just going to somerfield - how great is that. I've decided, boring although it maybe, to track how many steps I've taken

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid and Steve

Lastnight was only intended as a quiet night out, a couple of drinks with people at a leaving do for a guy I know to say hello too. Anyhoo, it was supposed to be quiet - it wasnt - well it was, and wasnt. John and Debbie kindly invited me out for a couple of beers before we met up with the rest, was nice, had a good chat. We then managed to "hook up" (damn yanks) with the rest in cuba, at which point we were told that we were going to my local haunt (The Well). We get there, and I decided for the night, I would wear my nice new funky jumper (getting a little cold - keep the chill of my chest - AND - look fashionble. Turns out, this isnt enough for the gits of IBM and Leamington Spa, they need to rip the piss. Some gimp decided that tonight was his night to try to be funny, and make embarressing comments in front of friends. I just couldnt be arsed to bitch back, so left it. HINT : Comments like, "Noel Edmonds would love a jumper like that" and "Where is mr blobby, your friend?" dont improve my mood.

We turn up to the well and they have live (Stupid, Stupid, Stupid and Steve) music on, it was quite touching, although being punk/rock stuff, they had a minute silence for ace, but dead, John Peel. To get into this section of the pub, you had to pay £1.50 - although not having any change, it was decided by one of the guys on the door, I could go in for free - only if I complete one of his dares. Turns out, this dare is to have a rubber stamp covered in ink, imprinted on my forehead. All good and well, perfect CSI, until I remembered a) Ink dries pretty quickly b) I had to be at work for meetings and c) getting as near to blind drunk doesnt help you remember its on your forehead.

Other fantastic parts of the night;

• Rich telling the lovely Helen that he beat me in a pool game, winning 70 quid from me
• Rich telling the lovely Helen that he was a regional pool champion (of Headworthshire)
• Rich telling the lovely Helen the Kebabital story - very very incorrectly
• Steve and Rich getting the fuzzy face gimp ID'd - just coz he was tapping off with the lovely Helen
• Winding up Vicky up about Jesus and God (being dead) and nearly making her cry (due to her laughing)

Steve - maybe not so shy

I've decided after hanging around, being shy, regretting a few things - that maybe its time to do something about females that I like. There have been plenty of times I've sat back, thought about it too much and spent weeks just regretting what could have been, if only I had opened my blushing mouth, even if it results in a knock back. I have done this once already this year, once - and yet I had the greatest 2 weeks of my life down in my second home. However, due to a few cack handed decisions in my world, my confidence was a little bit low.

Anyhoo, there is this attractive lass who turns up to football, seems pretty canny, and I thought she seems nice, so will do some digging around. Unfortunately my sources conclude that she's seeing someone - twat on a stick!

Nevermind, starting to get braver!

All Hail - The Toon

Although I have a massive passion for Newcastle United FC, I was determined not to turn this blog from Steve's Random Life, into a NUFC Fan page. However after passing into the next round of the Carling Cup (unlike Man City) and having a good game of football myself, I was over joyed with glee at the result (2-1 against Norwich).

Conclusion;

Delia Smith - might make a mean roast - but your team is cack in the Carling Cup

Will the real Steve Wharton - Please stand up! (Part 3)

Sorry for not bringing the Sunday update for "the real Steve Wharton" but here you go ...World, I give you Steve Wharton. Appears that he's some kind of Principal

(Steve Wharton, pictured centre - Nice Jumper, pictured bottom)

Rooney, sit down you fat waster.

In the magical mystical world of Wharton, it doesnt rain ... it pours. I've had a couple of days off from work and, well, it hasnt been to relaxing, hasnt been to stressful. I could have slept more, I could have done more exercise. I got to work relaxed, done some nice fixing things, which makes me smile, then fixed myself ready for football. (As per Mike's blog entry about nurses - this is certainly true, and she wasnt in any kind of uniform. Maybe I needed a little more beer from the night before. Anyhoo, she suggested I used some bandage around my foot to protect my foot.) Turned up at the pitch and the wind was whipping up slighly, and wasnt too much of a motivator running around in that. Anyhoo, turns out I had a complete blinder, our team (which was full of, well not very pacey players) appeared to gel together pretty well compared to the other team (which was full of pacy players). Not sure if the bandage give my foot and leg (and mind) more energy and pace, but had enough energy that I managed to score 4! Fantastic!!

World Record ?

Apparently, 15, is a world record for pint pulling in the Well - however, I'm sure I've pulled more in previous Quiz Sessions.

.

Beer (pictured all over the gaff)

They seek him beer, they seek him there!

Well, last week, I decided to give the quiz a miss, to CSI, and to keep my sanity from the Leamington Goldfish bowl. I invited down John and Debbie and Rich was supposed to be attending later on (which he didnt). Due to lack of numbers, I invited Neil who works behind the bar to join us. Then one of the activists decided to invite half of Zambia into our Team. We were going OK - keeping 2nd all the way through, and we thought we would nick it. Then, prize of all prizes - the sports round - "Minute behind the bar to pour as many drinks as you can". We came joint first and the tie breaker was to eat as many cream crackers as you can. John has done this before and won, so we suggested he done it - not taking into account his cold and his inability to hold his breath for more than 1 nano second. Anyhoo, John was doing well, until he started going pale, retching and looking like he's about to puke - but rescued himself. We ended up loosing once John decided enough was enough and his mouth started to bleed. Andy (top bloke) thought it would be fitting to award both teams with a minute behind the bar
Now, I've done this a couple of times and know how to wing it, but Neil was insistant on him going up, though Andy (manager of the Well) stopped him and allowed me to go up. After bending a couple of the rules, like;

• Having more than a minute
• The Bar dude (chris) helping me pour pints
• People at the bar helping me to pour pints

So we ended up with 15 pints of random drinks, and comments from Andy like, "You'll never drink in this pub again" etc etc

We continued to drink and drink and drink, until we ran out of the beer - and purchased more.

Where were you when you were shit? (You were next door)

Newcastle United played Man City yesterday in a typically exciting manner - at half time - we were drewing 0-0, with Man City basically not being anywhere in the game. Earlier, a bit of banter between myself and the neighbour, also known as Debbie took place. I'm a typical geordie, grew up a long stones throw from St James, so know when to keep my gob shut. However Debbie was suggesting that Man City were gonna win 7-0. I was kind enough to give her access to Metro Radio's live streaming of the game, knowing that it wasnt on Sky or BBC Radio. However, all she could do is moan about how the radio program was bias - imagine that hey, a geordie radio station, being presented by ex-newcastle players, at a home game.
Anyhoo, to cut a long story short, the 2nd half was thrilling, exciting and everything you would expect from the entertainers. We won 4-3, scoring the winner in the last 60 seconds of injury time. To conclude - Newcastle were brill, Man City were relegation dog fodder.

To conclude this, John became one with the geordie nation by playing Hovercraft-Wars on the canal - I won!

Updated, thanks to Pickford being picky

Guilty as charged!

I've been accused of many things in my life. Pouring water on my sisters frogger game when I was young, not paying attention in class at school, drinking alcohol at 14 and being a little shy with the opposite sex. However its all starting to come to a head - this week alone I have been accused off;

• Breaking the largest Oracle database in the world - belonging to o2
• Breaking a friends arm/hand/wrist (wrist is what he broke) while playing football
• Breaking IBM's Ebusiness Division
• Leading next door astray

This is all starting to get a little tiring ... I mean point one - wasnt my fault, people shouldnt design systems so big. Point 2 - I was at the opposite end of the pitch - about to score a goal when it happened. Point three - OK ... not my fault - but I'll take the wrap for it. Finally point 4, let me allow you into a little secret. John and Debbie like to have a little drink, John and Debbie like to have a large drink and finally John and Debbie would drink until the cows come home. Poor John has been feeling really ill lately (well - a gay sniffle) - so I thought Friday, I'm off Monday and Tuesday - they are both off next week - so why not enjoy a sociable drink - why not, its their second fav hobbie (their 1st is stamp collecting). So suggested after work beers - little something to eat, chitchat, and allow me to take in the local talent. Needless to say, if anyone egg'd on anyone, it was Debbie from next door, forcing me to drink far to much, make MSN faces in pubs and force me to ask for drinks at a reduced rate. To conclude, if Debbie wants to accuse me of asking them out to be friendly - THEN GUILTY!!!! However, there are always two sides to a story, mine being the innocent one - then she needs to be locked up in a beer cell and the key thrown away.

I dont think it helped matters when John was begging me to not take them out for beer tonight, because he couldnt take anymore

One Letter - its only the start of it!

Randomly searching the Internet for trash - trying to avoid chav style crap - and came across the following blog - do you know anyone that needs something fixing ? If so - get them to email in. Handy and Free ... Just remember, you might get more than you bargained for!

So true...

Recieved a top quality present from my lovely neighbours - a pin badge to go with "Go Blonde"

A badge, today - pictured middle

Why?

http://chrismoyles.net/mw/mls/watch.shtml

two nights without drinking anything *

* Warning :- Beer was included.

In true big brother style,

Day 1. Newcastle United (the greatest football team in the World - just ask Mike) were playing some two bob greek team away from home - so wonderful idea of getting Stella in, invite Rich around - enjoy the game and then potentially pop down to our local public house for last orders. Well, infact, I bought quite alot of booze in, and I think it was a mental challenge that we had to ensure it was all finished - just incase it went off. Anyhooo, Newcastle beat the Greek side 1-0 - Shearer scoring a lovely penalty. Once that was completed, we decided to be sad, and play PS2 game - Gauntlet Dark Legacy - was fun - we blinked and it was 00:45.

Day 2.

After a long bad week of breaking things - namely the company, Gav's wrist and my sanity, I thought what could be better - than a couple of drinks after work with my fab neighbours, John and Debbie. So give John a lift home (mainly coz he's being gay about a small cold he has) get changed and knock on their door. Off to TJs for cocktails at 5pm - always a bad sign to the night (although I did see a foxy lass who turns up and plays football), we then moved onto the Jug where Laura gay'd on about how hungry she was - then John decided to gay up with Laura and push me and Debbie into having a Curry and Millenium-mie. Managed to squeeze a couple of swift ones in the Well - being told by some crazy that I'm drunk when in fact this mentalist ( **** [ Edited due to legal action from Rich ] is what Rich likes to call them) who is bouncing of the 4 walls in the pub.
Anyhoo ... we bumped into a sexy lass who studies in Leeds (who is down this weekend), made our excuses and went to the Avenue - which I've never been too before - had a couple of swifty ones there. Then it went all to shit - I tried - I really did try. John and Debbie invited me in for some lovely malt whiskey. After the second glass, the room was spinning and my throat was hotter than a hotair balloon - in Hell. We listened to some dodgy version of "our tune" on vinyl which confused me a tad, so thought it best to go home and fall into a Carling/Whiskey induced coma.

Normal Service Resumes ... almost

Wednesday nights are my 5aside football night - last week got cancelled due to the England International (something the UEFA will be receiving a letter of complaint about). I was kind enough to suggest to social friends Mike and Gav that if they fancied getting fit and fancied a game of footie - they were more than welcome to turn up. So Rocky style, we warmed up on the darkest, dampest day of this year. We select teams, and kick off - what a better way to start a game - me scoring the first goal of the game. Great I thought, this is going somewhere.

Needless to say, this was short lived when Gav went down in a heap on the ground clutching his arm. After inspection by every "arm chair doctor" on the pitch, it was decided he'd broken his wrist and would have to be taken to A&E. During this "arm chair surgery" Gav was then hit accidently by three footballs which made me laugh when he told me later on that night. Anyhoo, Gav got carted off in the Ambulance and Mike kindly went with him, leaving the rest of us concerned, but not concerned enough to continue football. At which point, the opposition team decided to step up a gear, and we lost (although I did score a 2nd for the night)

After football, I thought I should go check on Gav as I knew he and Mike had left their cars at the football gaff and thought I could help out. So kitted in shorts, long sleave football shirt and football boots walked into A&E at Warwick Hospital greated by many bemused looks. Got sent in different directions then managed to find Gav on a top quality trolly. He was about to go for an Xray, and told to go sit with Mike. After amusing stories of life up north, the gentlemans clubs and how newcastle united are going to win zillions of trophies this season, Gav gets back.

15 mins later - a nurse comes in, says yup - you've broken it (see, "arm chair doctors" does work) shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Five mins later, another nurse comes in, shows us the Xray, starts laughing and walks out. Anyhoo, at which point myself and Mike sort out the cars and drop poor Gavs night stuff over as apparently he has to have his arm frozen and pulled back into position - Lush.

Still, I scored two goals!

Earth to Common People

Well worth a scan - for humour alone ... Listen to "Common People" - fantastic

Signs that are true (Part 1)

its true!

Comrad Headworth!

Welcome back!

A Russia Monkey (middle) - as seen today

Will the real Steve Wharton - Please stand up! (Part 2)

Sunday brings ... Another Steve Wharton ... This time, a Banjo playing Steve Wharton - Comedy you cant really buy. If you want to learn more about the fake Steve Wharton and his Banjo fetish - you can see here. Information about his band here

I am a music man, I come from far away! I play the bea-bea-bea-anjo!

A home from home

During our trip into North East Leamington, it brought me back to what I'm used to in the pubs in Winlaton

A toilet sign, yesterday

101 things to do with a sprout

Mooched around town feeling a little sluggish this morning, been after a CD for a couple of months after hearing a "trial version" from T'internet. Although not very CSI :-

• 101 Things to Do Before you Die - Richard Home
• The Best of Prefab Sprout - Prefab Sprout

Both, you'll agree, fantastic purchases.

John's SuperDooper Beer Supreme Birthday Bash

Once again, in the World of Canal House Holdings ... Nothing appears to be normal. John decided that for his birthday, we would attend the public houses of the north east of Leamington Spa. Fab I thought - but also very scary. John and Debbie gave me around 15 mins to get out of bed, showered and changed before we wandered up into Town for Top Quality All you can Eat Chinese for £5.99 (1pm). Many people were greedy, and must have eyes bigger than their Bellies (Garry must have HUGE eyes). From there we ventured into the toy shop - and played with random noisy things (John bought a Sheriff's badge) We then went to Chico's (Ayae Ayae Ayae) for some dodgy Tequila style drink, then moved onto the magical mystical world of NE pubs of Leamington. More and more people attended as we moved around. World record attempts were made, some failed, some went well, some almost ended in scary death moments. We ended up in the Cask (one of my old haunts) and watched Chelsea loose to Man City. At this point, Debbie decides she's going to convert me and Gav to turn gay and become gay lovers. This isnt going to happen - Gav - Nice bloke - just a bloke and I aint gay. After this, it was suggested that we were gonna give Debbie a Roast

(a roast, today - pictured centre)

She downed two x blue WKD in approx 7 seconds in total ... then got a little sick - she then got offended at the roast - I think it looks nice and tasty.

Anyhoo, we marched on into town, had a couple more pints, then people sifted off. I was going to go to Sugar, however started feeling a little yuk (Gay and Queer by others) so mooched off home (11:34). Recieved random text messages from John and Debbie through out the night reminding me of what I'm missing.

Time Check : 15:01 - John in Bed, Steve about to go watch Charlton - v - Newcastle.

You know when its a bad night when ...

...this happens in the morning! Taken post "quiet night" with John & Debbie after Pizza Express and Pint in Town

Ah Remember When ?

I bought the Goonies a couple of weeks ago, and only just got around to watching the film tonight - Fantastic, takes me back to when I was at school and being young. Top quality quote which made me laugh when I read it a couple of months back and when the DVD was showing;

Bad Dude: Tell us everything! Everything!

Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Strange but true .. made me laugh - maybe you need to watch the film!

Kids - Hey!

I thought life was supposed to be simple when you're a kid - well it was when I was young. How thinks have changed! For example, I decided to throw back to my youth and have something different to eat - so decided on Fish Fingers, Chips and Beans - Simple you may think ... Wrong - Wrong - Wrong. Trying to get a top quality photo of fish fingers for my MSN photo - came across the following;

http://www.birdseye.co.uk/products/listRecipes.asp?category=fish&type=thecaptainsrange

Five, yes, Five different kinds of fish fingers!! Im my day, it was breaded or battered - now the choices are endless!

You're Conkers!

As promised - pfh has placed his conker championship ONLINE. The photos can be found here - and I stole his photo of me becoming the Master of the Conker-verse!! Sure he wont mind. Feck knows how I won - look a little worse for wear after umpteen Guinesses

Steve - all northern

In a northern mode - after meeting Mike last week ( and being stressed to fuck at work ) - been thinking about home a little too much - so here you are - my "home"

Store Street :

http://www.multimap.com/map/browse.cgi?lat=54.9549&lon=-1.7222&scale=5000&icon=x

For those who are stalking me ... (very few) my family dont live there anymore

When will I be famous ... ?

....Never!

Stevos (Pictured Left) A real lady killer when I was young - What went wrong ?!?

It's a Northern thing - Deal with it (part 1)

Blaydon Races - Top quality northern tune - you'll hear it at newcastle united games ;

http://www.nufc.com/html/blaydon-races.html

(and Man U games - although they'll change the words - dirty mancs
Oh, me lads,
You should have seen us coming,
Fastest team in the League,
Just to see us winning,
All the lads and lasses,
With smiles upon their faces,
Walking down the Warwick Road,
To see Matt Busby's aces.

- Ironic - Pick a song from 100 miles away, twist it and force it for their own - TWATS)

Become northern - its great!

Around the pubs in 80 days

Another top quality text-photo from Rich - A Pub with a View II - Russian Edition
Note :- Lack of whores

Happy Birthday

Many Happy returns to the following people;

1. My Mum (13th)
2. John H - Next door neighbour (Today)

Hip Hip Horray!

Will the real Steve Wharton - Please stand up!

Strangely enough, I'm not the only Steve Wharton in the Universe (although I at Master of the Conker-verse). So as a weekly appriciation to all the Steve Whartons in the world - I present - Dr Steve Wharton (Photograph copyright (c) Dr Diego Saglia, 2001)

If other Steve Wharton's would like to email me ... you're more than welcome too ... Lets have a huddle! If you are a Steve Wharton, and know others, or if you know a Steve Wharton that hasnt been documented ... feel free to contact me, or them ... in order to bring the world to rights

Scream if you want to go faster!

Following allegations that Prince Harry cheated in an exam - T'internet Investigations (Warning - T'internet Investigations are not liable against King, Queen, Prince and Crown) can reveal the art work Prince Harry submitted for his exam

Trust Headworth

Trust Rich to get to the Red Light district in Red Square - previous to the excellent news about fuzzy hats - I recieved a text message "You want to lay with beautiful russian lady?" The picture isnt that clear ... so not sure if thats Rich, or some Russian Hooker (not TJ Hooker)

Best thing - in the world - ever!

Catching up with the Chronicles of Headworth in the eastern block. I recieved a text message saying "Comrade, we have furry hats" - never will my head be so cold again, and nor will MI5 hire me!

Kids :: Why should they have fun ?

The graphic images (Pictured below and in the blog entry before this) shows why the European Court for Human Rights got it spot on. Basically suggesting that Conkers (tm) should be banned from children, if they dont wear the correct head gear. I know why this is a good approach by the bigwigs on mainland Europe, mainly because in my quest to become Master of the Conker-verse, I was violenting attacked by one of this bastards - right in the eye! If a 29 year old lad cannot protect himself, what chance does a 12 year old have ?

I say, ban conkers;

1. to protect my masters of the conker-verse title
2. to solve thousands of kids being deformed by such a weapon

If you want to read more about what is being done to protect the youth of today ... you can read on here (and keep them away from Super Gary B)



* Warning - no children were harmed in the making of this blog entry

Kids :: Why should they have fun ? (part ii)

Strange but true - protect your children (and 29 year old drunken lads) - keep conkers out of their way



A child yesterday - cumbria - "Wow, big conker"

Steves 9er!

As the title suggests, it was announced that my Conker - was a 9er - no idea how that came around - seems as it played only 4 people - however rather than being embarresed by some spotty 12 year old in the park. It was decided I should launch it over the pub wall with a golf putter.

Masters of the Conker-verse!

Once again, another random day in the world of Wharton. Got out of bed around 12:00 ish, had breakie as any normal person would. Read Newspapers online as part of CSI ... then John & Debbie came to take me down to the Townhouse - of which Ive never been there before. Anyhoo, upon drinking vast amounts of alcohol while watching England v Wales (tin pot sunday league team) PFH declares that he as conkers. Conkers you say! Yes Conkers. Now, I remember very little about my childhood, I remember collecting Conkers with my sis and Dad all those years ago, but never ever remember playing Conkers (tm) in the playground. Anyhoo, We move towards the bowling green, another place ive ventured upon - to which its decided that we will play Conker Cup. Thankfully, Gav had to go to a wedding, thus giving me the opportunity to defaultly go into the next round. Of which, I managed to win the Cup - THEN!!! go on to defeat Debbie in the Masters (feck knows how she got there - she was a shambles with conkers)

Anyhow, to conclude, I am Masters of the Conkers. From there it went down hill, we ended up in Pig and Whistle (?), then Millenium Balti - then Jug for final Beers.

Total Drinkinking time = 9.5 hours (one Major Conker Championship)

The Record bites back!

After the disappointment of missing out on a guiness book of record for eating the most FAB lollys in 24 hours - ive decided to create the following blog

if you have a random world record you want to set, and then email;

Ivegotaworldrecord@hotmail.com

Red Square in Red Square?

Never let it be said that I dont hang around with un-cultured people - Got a nice text message from Rich (who's on holiday in Russia at the moment)

"A better view from this boozer on req square than the Well"

So Hurts!

Toe Damage after football, last Wednesday night. This is also my bad toe which I think is broken, but it'll grow back I'm sure. On top of this, weekly wounded update, someone back heeled into my foot (same foot) and thats knacked now too!

Scared ? you will be!

Well, turns out that the freaky tale from lastnight, is just getting freakier. I called my sister up to tell her the story of Winlaton. She said that she knew Mike, and also Mike's best mate ... appears that Gillian used to be best mates with a lass called Alexis at school, Alexis' brother is Graham, Graham is best mates with Mike ... How freaky can you get ?

I think I've scared Mike tho, I think he thinks that I'm stalking him and will probably get hand delivered a restraining order by the courts

Christ on a Bike

What happened lastnight is now taking confusion to new levels. Went out for a quiet beverage with John, Debbie, Gav and Mike (couple of other people turned up too) around town. Ended up in Satchwell's having a couple of Cost Saving Iniative beers when someone's phone recieved a text message saying "Where are you, please say you arnt in Satchwells or Jug and Jester" - so half jokingly suggested, "Put Rose and Crown, Winlaton down" (Winlaton being my home town, and Rose and Crown being a public house I used to frequent). Mike, who before tonight I've only known to say Hi too, turns around and scratches his eyes - asking what I said and why. So I repeated, Rose and Crown and Winlaton. Turns out, not only does know what pub I'm on about, but also that Mike went to the same Primary School, his folks live down the road from my family. After a good old natter, I've invited Mike to play 5aside on Wednesdays so he can show off his silky skills and embarress me like buggery.

As the night moved on, more and more CSI beverages were taken aboard the good ship Wharton, to where we arrived at the Well. Also bumped into the lass with the nicest smile and personality in the world ... she was working in M&S before summer, then disappeared - now appears that she's seeing a gonk - perfick

After this, myself, Debbie and Gav managed to talk ourselves into going to Mirage for boogie & more beverage. Noticed a nice looking lass that I saw a couple of weeks, typical thing - I bottled talking to her - fantastic.

Rice, Tickets, Cork Screw, 80 quid - but no trip to Paris

No real update since ummm Wednesday. Thursday stressed at work, came home & chilled.

Friday, Rich came around after work, we played Burnout 3 and drank vr much stella - then went out to the pub for a couple of pints. Saw Helen, with friends (including fuzzy headed gimp)

Saturday, slept, mainly because of friday night and loosing approx 3 hours of my life - spent 40 quid on weekly shopping, including strawberry cheesecake icecream, beer, etc etc. Watched James Bond, and Mike Bassett - England Manager - had a couple of bottles of Peroni - fell asleep

Sunday - slept, recieved parental phone call - had sunday lunch, listed to newcastle draw 2-2 with birmingham. Went to quiz, managed (some how) to come 2nd and pull off a massive coup by winning 20 quid each (including Debbie, John and Rich) - Fantastic

Mental Note to self - Rich went to Kebabital - wont see him for 3 days!