A week : Broken down for your help

After an interesting weekend of doom, gloom, fun and excitement of putting Chelsea out of the FA Cup, the week took many zigzag trails - believe me it did. Basically Saturday was a typical Saturday where me and Captain Rich spent most of our time in the boozer - with what could have been an interesting story, but I really cant rememeber. Sunday was a little blah, I had a text from an old friend who we've had an on/off fling for a couple of years (so im told) who was having troubles with a bf. So uncle Steve was there on site, having his sunday lunch and being understanding (if not hungover from the night before) - who then asked me out for a drink for as possible relationship kind of style. I've always been a little shit at this kind of gubbins, but thought, give it a go, you dont know what might come out of it - you never know - I guess, "you have to go there, to come back".

Monday was a strange one, not only did I have to be in the office (which I've been avoiding due to a slur on myself and a complaint being lodged to my manager) I was also having to travel down to London Village for a customer disaster recovery test. I've been to that site a couple of times, and there are a couple of receptionists on the front desk, one of which is quiet but very attractive. Anyone knowing me, I dont approach women, not my style, so struggled to work out how to talk to her. Anyhoo, we retired to the hotel (myself and Mr C) for some bevs and chinwagging. Now, Mr C and myself didnt really get along about 3 years ago, for alot of peripheral reasons, but I do have alot of respect for him, and a hell of alot of time too. So after being in the States with him - it was good to relax on home turf with him.

Tuesday kicked off the DR test, which was pretty good and we managed to get our system back in 4 hours - which baring in mind we were building from scratch, is pretty good going. After faffing around, we retired to the bar/hotel (still not talking to the receptionist, Sophie) where we had food as a group, watched a bit of football, and drank more. The numbers reduced and ended up talking to one of the lovely barmaids before tracking back to bed. Anyone reading this (aka Rich) might think I do this often, but I dont, truely dont - so much to the fact that I would blush so much - people would laugh - how crap is that ?!?!?

Wednesday was a real scream, so much that there was so much banter in the group, and eventually I got to speak to Sophie. I truely admit that she is one of these girls, you would give all your limbs - and more - just to be with. She is French but picking up the language, she is pretty quiet and timid - but very nice with it too (although she didnt know what a Geordie was - she now knows). So, desperately trying to ask her out for a couple of drinks, she invites me out with her and her friends for a "couple" of drinks - to which I found them already supping 2 bottles of red wine - when I turned up 30 mins late. The night went on, and it was really grand, and this is where Stefan's luck really does take the biscuit - I basically got a new Nokia phone a couple of weeks ago, and caller display hasnt been working. So I give Sophie my number previous to going out (incase the moved on or went home - honest ). After going for some food, I drop Sophie off at the tube station and walk to the hotel about 10 mins walk away. By the time I get to the hotel (being boozed up) I had a missed call 5 mins after I dropped her off. Looking vr smilie, I remembered caller display wasnt working - so if it was her, I have know way of knowing her number ( "no number" ), no do I have her number to contact her - so for all she knows - i'm not interested and dissed her. REALLY - someone like that, and I'm screwed over by technology - DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY.

So Thursday, she phones up sick - boo!!! - and myself and Mr C previously arranged to book out of the hotel a day earlier, unless anything came up - either technically, or Sophie wise. Sadly, the latter was looking bad - so agreed with Mr C that we would go home (driving thru snow and rain). Sadly being disturbed by people from work - no matter - watched Newcastle beat some Dutch team 2-1 - yay!

Friday was working from home day, and catching up - to be interupted by shattering of glass next door. Basically John and Debbie had their conservatory double glazing knocked down to single glazing by some fuckers chucking a rock / duck / item at their windows. Friday afternoon, I heard the 2nd glazing go - so spoke to Debbie next door, and said I was gonna wander down the Canal. Needless to say, cold outside, central heating inside - so I was in england shirt, shorts, and nothing else - so a quick change into jeans and a jog along the canal. At this point, it was snowing and I was loosing control of any body functions that werent moving at the time. So called Debbie to let them know where the chavs were, which is now heading towards 2 miles away from home in the freezing cold. Only to be told that the police may do something about it and may send a patrol car to sort them out. Meanwhile, I'm watching Chavs throwing more stones at people's windows - how bad is that ?!?! Not only are the police taking photos of people doing 34 mph in a "20" zone, but they refuse to act on criminal damage while someone else is doing their job.

After walking/running/stealthing towards bridge 36 on the grand union canal, I thought it was probably best talking back - as I had a conference call at some point during the day and technically the chavs had entered an estate I really didnt want to go into incase I got lost and/or murdered in. Kindly John and Debbie invited me out for a curry, wine, wine and more wine - where I got shit faced and lost the ability to speak and even tho I was chatting to a lovely looking lass, I couldnt be understood.

So, thats the week in full - tomorrow - the weekend described in even more detail - every pint, every conversation.

Thanks ...

Alot has gone on over the last couple of weeks - some of which I cant really talk about, some I can - but wont. I just wanted to say a big thanks to those who have picked me up and supported me over the last few weeks - captain, princess, the wolf and my lovely neighbours.

I know it sounds a little lame - but those mentioned above have become close friends which they probably really never understand - I hope all are happy forever!

On the negative side - Newcastle play Chelsea tomorrow ... mmmm!

Not so easy!

Oh ...

Know it sounds funny but I just can’t stand the pain
Girl I’m leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girl you know I’ve done all I can
You see I begged, stole and I borrowed
Yeah
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
I wanna be high
Soo high
I wanna be free to know the things I do are right
I wanna be free
Just me

Oh baby
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning

Hard Limits & Forgiven Love

Monday I was working in London, of course it was my fav day of the year - Valentines - which I coul easily ban if I was PM, King, or President. Not only does the day fuck me off, it also wants me to wrap my hands around someones neck. Oh, always the romantic, but dont get me wrong - I fucking hate it, so much. I have only recieved 3 cards in my life - which is pretty sad - all from the same girl - my ex.

Needless to say, I wanted to stay in bed on monday morning, pref with a bottle of whisky and drink myself back to sleep - you know, you get the idea - loved up fuckers. So, it was always a pleasure getting up at 7am to get picked up at 8 to drive down to london village. Needless, the last person you really - ever - want to get a text message from, is someone who you used to give so much a damn about, you would give your "right" arm to be with. Text messages such as "Happy Valentines Steve, hope you find someone who deserves to be with u" is not the best way to go for a shite day such as this. So, on and on and on and on my crap progressed, including 2 pints of guiness in london town and alot of frustration with a B50 pSeries Server - bastard.

So, we return to Leam, getting a call from a friend - Paul - saying he needed to get out of his house coz his friend was lovey doveying it up with the gf. So, being a friend, and also not having too much to stay in for - apart from sleep, nice food and eastenders - I said I would meet him, only to have no food and picking up my brand new Nokia 6630 from my lovely neighbours John and Debbie. So on arriving, we talked, we drank, we watched lovely semi single ladies and fell for the juice of the gods, only to recieve a 2nd text from the "used to be nice Jess, but not just not getting the message that I dont give a fuck about her" fling I had over the summer, this time spelling, "Happy Valentines Steve X" in fridge magnets. Some may think this is sweet and cute - but you have to remember a) I'm single, b) it would be great if you were seeing the lass c) she wasnt screwing with your head and d) ""and sing & dance and find romance and we'll find romance & we'll stroll to the edge of the world" - it gets a little - blah. Advice to big Jess - leave me alone - just not interested, ever! really!

Anyhoo, after a number of beers, abuse from Captain Rich and sticking my fingers down my new Nokie 6630 and nearly turning into the electronic dude from Superman II by sucking the wrong end of the phone, I was ready for bed.

Tuesday was a different matter, well - almost, and only due to the fact I had to be in the office for project workshop meeting. Thus, excitement was left my body, around 08:05 when my alarm went off, knowing I had to catch the bus from Leam to Warwick - and not being in town for around 9:30. I knew, not being in the office for a while, would cause some problems - for not only myself becoming a semi hermit, but also people accepting I wasnt around - so needless to say, my desk was taken up by someone. Rather than being a twat, I decided to leave the guy be, and let him get on with his work. I then took up a "hot desk" which basically means anyone can sit there, although I was then pushed out of it because the team that had given them up, now wanted them all back ... yes, because thats how it works. So you see, my already low motivation, moral and care for the company was the divided by 2 and take away the number I had originally thought of (348902334890945 - if you really want to know). So after a ruck, I decided swearing and cursing could only harm my "complaint" so walked up to Cptain Heaworth's desk - only to recieve a barrage abuse from his co-workers and surrounding colleagues. After working for 30 mins, I had my meeting and walked back to my "desk" only to approach one of my chief suspects for my complaint - which, part of Steves interegation procs - has now been ruled out.

After a meeting and faffing around, Captain Rich and I had a slow couple of beers (hard limit of 2) turning into 5 pints of Stella down TJs - which then lead to the magical mystical world of fairies. Knowing I'm off to Portsmouth tomorrow at 6, I had better get to bed

I know the above doesnt make much sense, but appriciate the support from friends on such a sensitive subject, and helping me play the game - against some two faced back stabbing fucker (Warning, not the view of my company - but my own personal time) who cant even speak to me - but has to speak to my mananger and complain about my personality. Again, needless to say in the world of football, that "no one is bigger than the club" - but I know your fate - and indeed, the future is Orange.

Bob a Job Week

Well, in a week that could have been the simplest - it certainly turned into a complete shambles - which is something of an understatement. Monday was my first day back from my week off - so I expected everything to be grand, check my mail, answer some, get some tea, have lunch, catch up with friends and colleagues and then back home. No, sadly, it wasnt that easy - sadly, some very very bad news hit the IBM communication line, that one of the bubbliest and brightest young lasses from Service Management had died over the weekend. Rather a sober affair you may think to say the least, so it was a case of being very sensitive - as she had many a friend - esp around where I sit.

Wednesday, for myself personally, didnt get any better - I had to wake up at 5am, to be picked up by BC at 6 - to drive to down to Portsmouth for 8am. So there we were, grabbing a quick cuppa before the hard days work - well, until my boss pulls me into an office saying "I've had a complaint about you over the night about you - you have two weeks to fix it, or it will be made official". Now, as you know, I dont air my dirty laundry in public (well sometimes I dont) but seriously, what serious damage can I do in one day to upset someone ?!? I've basically narrowed the complainee down to about 3 people - and I'm still as angry as I was at 08:30 tuesday morning, and if its someone in the team, then I feel let down by them. So this on my mind, and a number of people suggesting I move on for the good of my career - it was only the below photo which made my sides chuckle a little.

A sign - on the canl, pictured middle

Pancakes from heaven.

Mmm - not to be out done by the rest of the nation, I also indulged in some pancake festivities. One of my fav. days of the year, mainly coz it involves loads of stuff combined to make you hyper. This year, on my pancakes I tried two different things;

• Belgian Chocolate Sauce
• Blueberry Jam

After the 4th pancake - I was feeling a little stodgy - god knows how I managed to put so many away when I was a kid. Sadly, the worst day of the year is about to drop on us ... Valentines day - should be banned for discrimination.

A pancake, made on tuesday - mm - was nice too

Normal Service Resumed

After rather an innocent night lastnight with lovely next door neighbours, John and Debbie, down the curry house. Today turned into some what of a shambles really. I had to pop into town to grab a few things and also my dry cleaning - ready for work on Monday Morning (boo!). The first time I popped into town, my dry cleaning wasnt ready, and with having to be back for 1.30pm to help John & Debbie move their sofa via the canal - I had to faff around a tad.

After getting back and snacking, I kinda semi missed the smooth running of the process - basically the sofa went in vr quickly with no hickups - and bumped into Captain Rich - who announced he was popping into town to sort a few things out. As I had to go back into town to pick up the dry cleaning, I decided to give him a bell to see if he fancied a cuppa, or even a pint. Next thing I know, I'm in the Old Butchers supping on Hoegaarden galore - well technically alot - next thing I know, its god knows what time and I'm boozed up on an empty stomach. Next call, Satchwells for a quickie, then Jug and Jester where we bump into the sofa-movers John, Debbie, Gav, Mike (his lass) , Super Gary (his lass) and PFH. After having a drunken ramble and further arguments with Mike to see who is more Northern than the other (Technically its me, as I was a) born in Newcastle b) live in Winlaton and c) on the top of a massive hill )

Last point of call ( I think ) was TJs, where I got my Dry Cleaning searched incase I had a bomb, gun, granade, as its obviously a terrorist target. After calming the dude up (where in reality I just grinned and pivotted on the spot for a couple of minutes) the captain purchased a nice brew.

Anyhoo, I can only assume I went to Vialli's as there was a chip box on the kitchen floor the next morning. MMM

Its my birthday, and I'll get boozed up if I want too - and I did!

Rich kindly arranged a thursday night beer session in honour of me reaching the age of 30. As he suggests in his blog, no one ever has a birthday on a tuesday, so the nearest available Thursday (in true & typical IBM style) - so the plans were made and set. So after ironing my new Ted Baker shirt, and downing my action slacks, we made our way to The Lounge - where my colleagues and friends were waiting. Rich promised he wouldnt stitch me up, however, a little shamming around on my own account, left me paranoid for about 3 days. He mentioned a couple of weeks ago (quite innocently) if I liked popcorn (he had a brand new popcorn maker up at Chesterfield which he was gonna give me). Of course, I took this to mean, prank - aka, get home and my flat is wedged tight of popcorn, or some busty & leggy lass walks in - wearing nothing but popcorn nipples - mmmm popcorn nipples.

Needless to say, I was paranoid and thus starting a running joke, where I would recieve text messages asking if I liked popcorn from colleagues and friends. Funny you may think, but the last thing you need is to get stressed about nothing, which it turns out - nothing happened, nothing was planned - so thanks Rich for sorting my Birthday Bash out.

Anyhoo, after many drinks were consumed, it was down to two choices - Rios or the Well for cheap drinks - the latter was selected and we drank spritely til around 2am - maybe longer - I cant quite remember. Monsuir Bellis was his typical self - aka getting boozed up very quickly on strong beer, talking to complete strangers, trying to tap up unavailable women and getting lost from the rest of the group. Captain Rich was having his usual drink fuelled night, yet providing amusement for the rest of the group in his typical style. The good old Doctor David Kelly (not the weapons inspector, but the student who abused MSN in our team for 12 months) turned up, then forgot about last buses, so I let him kip on my sofa. Sadly, his flatmate, the lovely Helen, didnt attend and was omitted from staying at my gaff.

I learnt a very strong and valuable lesson today - although I got so blind drink, I cant remember it.

30 Today!

A strange but cold day, of which I was suffering from a massive hangover (from the white wine coma the night previous) so took my time to get out of bed - although I could quite easily have fallen back to sleep, the number of text messages wishing me a happy birthday prevented that. So after a shower, shave and dressed, I started packing my gear to drive back to Leamington - only to be interupted by my mother who had been to the local bakers and purchased enough bread to last a small war.

After getting back to Leam, I contacted Heir Headworth and Princess Nomes to arrange a time and place to slowly get drunk and snack on. Of course, being the night of the Arsenal v Man U - nowhere was going to be quiet - so we settled for a seat in the hogs head (now the old butchers) where hoegaarden on empty stomach was on the menu. Chinwag, relaxed talk and the Captain Palin turns up to make it four. More hoegaarden and some food happened and myself and Rich moved towards the Well for more beer - but at this point I was hardly able to talk - leaving Rich to get served at the bar and I held onto the wall.

Thankfully, we were able to stay afterhours for more beers - which is just what you want to do - so to conclude, day 1 of being 30 - boozed up, unable to walk and talk - life starts here!