Bob a Job Week

Well, in a week that could have been the simplest - it certainly turned into a complete shambles - which is something of an understatement. Monday was my first day back from my week off - so I expected everything to be grand, check my mail, answer some, get some tea, have lunch, catch up with friends and colleagues and then back home. No, sadly, it wasnt that easy - sadly, some very very bad news hit the IBM communication line, that one of the bubbliest and brightest young lasses from Service Management had died over the weekend. Rather a sober affair you may think to say the least, so it was a case of being very sensitive - as she had many a friend - esp around where I sit.

Wednesday, for myself personally, didnt get any better - I had to wake up at 5am, to be picked up by BC at 6 - to drive to down to Portsmouth for 8am. So there we were, grabbing a quick cuppa before the hard days work - well, until my boss pulls me into an office saying "I've had a complaint about you over the night about you - you have two weeks to fix it, or it will be made official". Now, as you know, I dont air my dirty laundry in public (well sometimes I dont) but seriously, what serious damage can I do in one day to upset someone ?!? I've basically narrowed the complainee down to about 3 people - and I'm still as angry as I was at 08:30 tuesday morning, and if its someone in the team, then I feel let down by them. So this on my mind, and a number of people suggesting I move on for the good of my career - it was only the below photo which made my sides chuckle a little.

A sign - on the canl, pictured middle

Pancakes from heaven.

Mmm - not to be out done by the rest of the nation, I also indulged in some pancake festivities. One of my fav. days of the year, mainly coz it involves loads of stuff combined to make you hyper. This year, on my pancakes I tried two different things;

• Belgian Chocolate Sauce
• Blueberry Jam

After the 4th pancake - I was feeling a little stodgy - god knows how I managed to put so many away when I was a kid. Sadly, the worst day of the year is about to drop on us ... Valentines day - should be banned for discrimination.

A pancake, made on tuesday - mm - was nice too

Normal Service Resumed

After rather an innocent night lastnight with lovely next door neighbours, John and Debbie, down the curry house. Today turned into some what of a shambles really. I had to pop into town to grab a few things and also my dry cleaning - ready for work on Monday Morning (boo!). The first time I popped into town, my dry cleaning wasnt ready, and with having to be back for 1.30pm to help John & Debbie move their sofa via the canal - I had to faff around a tad.

After getting back and snacking, I kinda semi missed the smooth running of the process - basically the sofa went in vr quickly with no hickups - and bumped into Captain Rich - who announced he was popping into town to sort a few things out. As I had to go back into town to pick up the dry cleaning, I decided to give him a bell to see if he fancied a cuppa, or even a pint. Next thing I know, I'm in the Old Butchers supping on Hoegaarden galore - well technically alot - next thing I know, its god knows what time and I'm boozed up on an empty stomach. Next call, Satchwells for a quickie, then Jug and Jester where we bump into the sofa-movers John, Debbie, Gav, Mike (his lass) , Super Gary (his lass) and PFH. After having a drunken ramble and further arguments with Mike to see who is more Northern than the other (Technically its me, as I was a) born in Newcastle b) live in Winlaton and c) on the top of a massive hill )

Last point of call ( I think ) was TJs, where I got my Dry Cleaning searched incase I had a bomb, gun, granade, as its obviously a terrorist target. After calming the dude up (where in reality I just grinned and pivotted on the spot for a couple of minutes) the captain purchased a nice brew.

Anyhoo, I can only assume I went to Vialli's as there was a chip box on the kitchen floor the next morning. MMM

Its my birthday, and I'll get boozed up if I want too - and I did!

Rich kindly arranged a thursday night beer session in honour of me reaching the age of 30. As he suggests in his blog, no one ever has a birthday on a tuesday, so the nearest available Thursday (in true & typical IBM style) - so the plans were made and set. So after ironing my new Ted Baker shirt, and downing my action slacks, we made our way to The Lounge - where my colleagues and friends were waiting. Rich promised he wouldnt stitch me up, however, a little shamming around on my own account, left me paranoid for about 3 days. He mentioned a couple of weeks ago (quite innocently) if I liked popcorn (he had a brand new popcorn maker up at Chesterfield which he was gonna give me). Of course, I took this to mean, prank - aka, get home and my flat is wedged tight of popcorn, or some busty & leggy lass walks in - wearing nothing but popcorn nipples - mmmm popcorn nipples.

Needless to say, I was paranoid and thus starting a running joke, where I would recieve text messages asking if I liked popcorn from colleagues and friends. Funny you may think, but the last thing you need is to get stressed about nothing, which it turns out - nothing happened, nothing was planned - so thanks Rich for sorting my Birthday Bash out.

Anyhoo, after many drinks were consumed, it was down to two choices - Rios or the Well for cheap drinks - the latter was selected and we drank spritely til around 2am - maybe longer - I cant quite remember. Monsuir Bellis was his typical self - aka getting boozed up very quickly on strong beer, talking to complete strangers, trying to tap up unavailable women and getting lost from the rest of the group. Captain Rich was having his usual drink fuelled night, yet providing amusement for the rest of the group in his typical style. The good old Doctor David Kelly (not the weapons inspector, but the student who abused MSN in our team for 12 months) turned up, then forgot about last buses, so I let him kip on my sofa. Sadly, his flatmate, the lovely Helen, didnt attend and was omitted from staying at my gaff.

I learnt a very strong and valuable lesson today - although I got so blind drink, I cant remember it.

30 Today!

A strange but cold day, of which I was suffering from a massive hangover (from the white wine coma the night previous) so took my time to get out of bed - although I could quite easily have fallen back to sleep, the number of text messages wishing me a happy birthday prevented that. So after a shower, shave and dressed, I started packing my gear to drive back to Leamington - only to be interupted by my mother who had been to the local bakers and purchased enough bread to last a small war.

After getting back to Leam, I contacted Heir Headworth and Princess Nomes to arrange a time and place to slowly get drunk and snack on. Of course, being the night of the Arsenal v Man U - nowhere was going to be quiet - so we settled for a seat in the hogs head (now the old butchers) where hoegaarden on empty stomach was on the menu. Chinwag, relaxed talk and the Captain Palin turns up to make it four. More hoegaarden and some food happened and myself and Rich moved towards the Well for more beer - but at this point I was hardly able to talk - leaving Rich to get served at the bar and I held onto the wall.

Thankfully, we were able to stay afterhours for more beers - which is just what you want to do - so to conclude, day 1 of being 30 - boozed up, unable to walk and talk - life starts here!

T-1 day

My sister was unfortunately working on my birthday, so it was arranged that we would go out on the Monday night for a family bash, to allow me to drive back down south to have drinks on the tuesday with friends. So it was arranged, 7pm in the Skiff Inn - my dad, mum, sister (Gillian) and her husband (Phil) - and of course, myself would be in attendance. So we all caught up, chinwagged, discussed the finer items such as the Bellamy/Souness saga - until my mother (always grand with footballing quotes - "Newcastle v Sunderland - just another game") turns around and describes the mackems manager as "a nice looking bloke" which kind of had my heart beating in all the wrong times.

Anyhoo, nice steak, nice food - chilled night out - just what I wanted really.

Ended up back at my mums where I then drank a bottle of white wine - mmmm - wine coma.

Northern friends, northern beer and northern music

I spent Sunday night with old school mate - EEN - as we dont really get that much chance to catch up with each other that much. He kindly offered me to stay over night so we could have a right old beer session. This was quite good as it meant I got to catch up a little with his wife, Sarah, and their little kid, Jess. After one can of Fosters and 60 mins of dirty looks from little Jess, we decided to escape to EEN's local boozer (the Mill something) which was about a mile walk away from his gaff. So we sat down, discussed past, present and future topics and the beer did a flow, then up pops a band. Now, as you may or may not know, I'm used to Open Mic music down the Well on a Sunday, but this was quite different - Cheerful for a start and not having to watch Paul R looking for any excuse to slide his hand in some birds pants. Refreshing really! Anyhoo, the band starts to play traditional northern music which got the feet a tapping, and some old songs starting to creep into the back of your head. All n' all, a good night out, and a couple of subjects crept up and discussed and put back to bed - probably for the best for all concerned.

Back to EENs after "last orders" for half pizza, 342385 turkey nuggets and more drunken rubbish, until I fell asleep in their spare room which was so hot, it was something like out of Tenko. I half expected some oriental fellow to storm the room at 05:43 and shove bamboo under my nails.

After waking up and feeling like someone was kicking my head all night (probably little Jess), a nice cup of tea, I dropped Een off at work and received a nice present from him and Sarah - then back to my mothers for a day of shopping.

Tale of two cities ( well, one, technically)

After a great entertaining night of Chesterfield v Bristol in the tinpot cocacola league, it was time for me to hit the road and see the folks and family. I havent spent my birthday up in the good North East of England for a long while now, so seemed fitting for my 30th to go up and just do that. I was supposed to be picking up the hire car (yes, my insurance has not yet been sorted) at 8.30 and making an early start - however due to vast amounts of Stella - this was rescheduled to around 11am. Newcastle played Cov in the FA Cup 4th round and it was 20 quid to get into the gaff, so decided it would be a great way to see the team and save some cash. Needless to say, a 3pm kick off meant that I had to yank it up the motorway.

After a flyby Hi/bye conversation to my mother (by this time she was already calling me Stephen) I managed to get a bus down to St James and purchase a ticket - for the said price of 20 quid. Missing 2 mins of the game, I managed to get to my seat to sit through amusing abuse of the fans ripping into Souness (after the Souness v Bellamy saga). "Souness, you couldnt manage a f**king shop, nevermind a football team, now just f**k off you scottish t**t" was just one of the comments. After a commanding 3-1 win, it was off to Newcastle to purchase some grub and stroll back to my mums for wine, beer and chinese food - mmm.

Baby Blue

Captain Rich invited me out lastnight... Turns out that JT's wife had given birth to Teddy T - so in true tradition northern style, JT had decided to invite people out to wet the baby's head. Meeting Rich (who was supposed to be early, and turned up late) at the Lock Dock and Barrel across the road from me, with Sir Blunt, John O and the lovely Helen for a couple of pints before linking up with the remainder of the group. The lovely Nomes turned up midway and kindly purchased me another pint of beer - great - and we made way to the Lounge for Baby related conversations. This is all great, however some of the tales that JT told us, quite frankly put me off having kids, although he asked (due to me reaching 30) when I would be having kids. So I had to put him right that I did need some consenting adult to a) have sex with me and allow me to father a child - not an easy task I can tell you.

The Lounge was busy and bumped into one of our football chums and chinwagged - as people disbanded else where. Myself, Captain Rich and Sailor boy Blunty - and tag along Stuey ended up in the Well (for me, the first time for nearly a month) - for more beverage and Student piss take. Stuey got the last train, leaving it three, until the captain announced he was getting an early night (well, at 01:00 anyhow) - leaving me and Ship Ahoy Blunty to drink the good old ship Robbins Well as dry as possible. I dont really remember getting back home, but I do know that there is a bag of chips with battered sausage in the bin, so can only assume a) My Kitchen is magic and grows chip butty with battered sausages once a year or b) I went to the chip shop.

Anyhooooooo, I woke up approx 2pm on a Saturday and done very little apart from mooch and plant some Daffs. Welcome to my world!

Hello Hello - we're in a place called Leamington Spa ?

Coming up to my 30th in a couple of weeks, I decided it was probably best I get "jiggy with it" - and I dont mean in some kind of freaky Will Smith style song. Music wise, I've tried to keep up with the youth of today, but technology wise, I'm approx about 4 years behind with my minidisk player. With the force of the iPOD, I was always wanting to be someone different, however after years of putting up with "disk" I final Succumb to the ways of Harold and purchased a funky 40Gb Photo ipod. I'm currently through about 80% of my albums and have filled about 4Gb of the total. Fantastic!! Not only can you listen to hours of music (technically 12 hours with the battery) but you can plug this into your TV and play a slide show of your photos.

Anyhoo, I predict that in the next couple of years, you will be able to buy music on the Internet .... WOW

Shopping Shambles

After a week of complete exhaustion, and running out of food (well technically, I just havent had an appetite recently) - I had to pop around to somerfield to get essentials - like bread, diet coke and tracker bars. I had just been speaking to my fantastic neighbours John and Debbie on msn - when debbie announced she was going too - and would i like to keep her company and ensure she doesnt get blown away in the gales. So, being nice, I thought it would be good to catch up.

Anyhooooooo, needless to say, as soon as we get into Somerfield, she turns into some kind of shopping animal, purchasing random items, such as muffinbread - and then has the cheek to blame it on me - fantastic !!!

New York - OnLine

Here are the photos ONLINE from my New York trip.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles (and hooters) Part IIII

Thursday was my last full day in NYC, so was determined to use it to my full advantage, sadly, it didnt work out that way. Managed to get down to the bottom of the island again and attempted the Ferry to the Statue of Liberty. After spending 60 mins in either the queue for the tickets, or a queue in security - once again getting bags checked and scanned and man handled - the temperature was dropping. Then yay - we were allowed on the Ferry and started to head towards Libery Island, now - impressive from a far, but you get up to the statue - and its not really that big. In fact, I have to ask the question, in Ghostbusters II - how the hell did this statue get over to the main island ? Unless it had somekind of statue armbands - it's feet wouldnt actually be able to walk on the bottom of the river. Anyhoo, after a hotdog and tea - things were starting to warm up a little - we returned to the Ferry and bombed out the Ellis Island stop, mainly because it was a 3 hour visit of the museum.

We bombed around on the underground for a while - nearly being caught out my some local dodgy looking characters at a possible dead end if you didnt have a metro card to get into the subway. Was a little strange, myself and the captain walking down some stairs when dodgy looking character #1 looks and nods and dodgy looking character #2 - as to say, if they dont have cards, we'll get them on the way out. Needless to say, with speed being of the essence - we scanned through and hopped on the next train up to Time Square. From there we split up, the Captain went off to look for the I NY for friends, where as I went over to the shopping area on Lexington Avenue to have a look at the clothes shops etc. On my return, sad tho it is, I found the IBM building - I wasnt looking - honest.

We returned to P.J. Carney's for a night of food, beer and looking at the lovely barmaids - returning to the hotel when we could barely speak.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles (and hooters) Part III

Wednesday was a little more quieter - and was used as a shopping day. I promised the lovely Philippa a bag from the states that she was harping on about for months for her 30th birthday present. So, after the text;

"A small girly holdy bag, got 'little brown bag' written all over em Probably millions to choose from, in macy's I think :) Very touristy, take care hun XX"

you would expect - simple, Macy's, bag section, purchase, get out. No - not at all, after asking a couple of assistants where the hell they were to buy I get - "well sir (in a most annoying accent - and not in a liverpool accent either), you need to go to bloomingdales". Now Macy's is around time square / MSG area - Bloody Bloomingdales is further up north even more north than where our hotel was, and further east - 59th and something - fantastic.

On the plus side, captain happy got a ipod case, as we wandered around midtown. On top of that, he bought enough books to stock a waterstones in his garden shed. Once purchasing the formentioned bag, we returned to 57th street and found a small Irish bar that was showing the football, so $10 lighter after the entry fee we tucked into some beer and watching the Carling Cup Semi final between Man U and Chelsea.

After the 4th pint we then return to the hotel to get changed and freshen up and then bumped into BC in reception. I'd mentioned to people in Washington about Hooters ( apparently there was one around the corner from us there too) and it being a vegeterian outfit, stocking all kind of healthy food - just to drum up some interest. Of course, we bump into Helen, Barry, Brian and BC's wife and it was mentioned there - of how they fancied some healthy food and could they attend Hooters for a drink and some food. I had to sadly put them straight on the whole Hooters story, and strangely enough they were still up for it, so sure enough, a couple of pints later, they'd been scared off by some pot bellied american waitress wearing a tight tshirt and shorts that didnt help her figure. In fact, it was enough to scare myself and the Captain, to which I noticed a small bar a couple of days earlier and suggested we went there. The place is about as large as your living room and kitchen stitched together, but has a lovely atmosphere, and even better - stocked Stella for the captain.

The place was so nice, even the American/Irish barmaid decided to take the piss out of (mostly me) us by at one point refusing to serve me, then doing so - strange. Anyhoo, if you're in NYC - I would recommend P.J.Carney's - serves lovely food too - fantastic. We stayed there til gone midnight and to the point where we could barely talk.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles (and hooters) Part II

I wanted to do something American and Spoty while I was in NY - seems a shame not to really - so after getting a tip off the night before that the NY Knicks were playing Tuesday Night at MSG. I thought that this was a class idea, as it killed two birds with one stone, sports and one of the tourist places all in an evening. So after $119 per ticket, we ordered two for the night, BC was also interested, but didnt really get him two for him and his wife - and not that be interested.

After the purchase, myself and the captain left to get some breakfast and walked around, well so much walking we managed to cover about 5 mile and a bulk of midtown and downtime all in one day. We walked from our base (57th on 7th) down to time square, past Macy's and MSG, into the Empire State (as the queues were down and visibility was good), down to the World Trade Centre Site to pay respects and right down to the tip of the island and got a subway pass and train backup to 57th street. During the day it had been snowing, which was great, but we were getting a little wet, so we returned to the hotel, to put on harder shoes (instead of the thinnest shoes in the world which is what I was wearing) and returned to our site seeing tour. We wandered over to the RockerFella Centre to check out the ice skating and also to see where the Pokemon World Headquaters were - the latter being a little more difficult to find, but we managed it and was a laugh - although, again, tacky. We then found the largest TGI fridays in American, and I honestly think the Captain was impressed when his rack of ribs turned up - being bigger than the plate, although he did have a very very good stab at it.

Once we returned to the hotel, we then set off for MSG - and basketball. Now here are some people who can put a show on, and in typical american style, everything has to be 10 times as bigger, 10 times louder and 10 times longer. This must be the only country in the world that can make a game of 4 x 12 mins last 3 hours - no really. Good fun tho, esp when the home team starts to loose, the fans (3 more importantly) started to get on the team's back. Stereotypical american comments like - "You Suck", "You're a Jackass" started to stream from these people's mouths, only to be improved when me and the Captain started shouting, "You're a Mess and a Shambles". My fav comment has to be "Sack Lenny, You Suck Man"

To which, we returned to Hooters for a couple of swift ones.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles (and hooters) Part I

Monday marked the end of our time working in Washington and although fun tho it was, I was looking forward to NY, and time from work to relax. As I was flying out on the Friday afternoon, I was determined to do as much as possible. Leaving Washington was fun, there was a fire alarm (yes, another one) and an evacuation at 3am. At this stage of our washington visit, the temperature decided to decrease so much that night, it was below freezin. Anyhoo, the alarm goes off, and I was pondering to just sleep through it, as the last one was a false alarm after a test went wrong. After about 20 minutes, I thought bugger this, I'm off to investigate - wandering down to reception in jeans and tshirt only to be told to get out. Not expecting this evacuation, here was me in flimsy clothing in front of all my colleagues who decided to be cautious and wear coats ... and hats and scarfs. After the firemen had turned up, using stereotypical "Backdraft" walking with their kit, searched the area and decided we were all safe - so we all moved back to our warm toast beds *

The morning came oh to quickly, and the people going up to New York (BC, his wife, Helen, Barry & myself) met for breakfast at some god unearthly hour, chit chatted and checked out, then drove up to Washington to dump the hire car and get a nice train up to NYC. This trip only lasted 3 hrs 15 - but felt like 60 mins - there was no hassle, no delay - basically no english running of the system.

Well, this is true, until we got to Penn Station in NY where we waited for 1 hour for our bags to turn up ( these were travelling seperately in another train. We managed to successfully get a Taxi to 57th on 7th - which was to be our base for the time in NY - a nice old fashioned hotel -- of which I was on the 16th floor. Once everyone got settled, we met up in a little deli/cafe type thing across the road for coffee and muffins, then set off for a little wander around Central Park. Arrangements were made for that night, and although it appeared to be a "couple night" I was invited along, but declided - mainly due to the fact that on the way up in the Taxi, I noticed Hooters around the corner from the hotel. I've never been in a hooters before, and thought it would be a funny thing to do as its tatt and a good place to meet the Captain. 5 pints later of drinking the beer "blackboard" I receieve a call from the captain sounding almost amused, saying he'll be about 50 mins. [ The story behind this is probably best told by himself, but basically, he was due to fly from Brum, transfer in Dublin and fly to JFK. Instead, he got a cancelled flight, complained, shipped in a taxi to Heathrow and boarded a BA flight. All of which improved his humour for the day I'm sure ] So sure enough a tired looking captain arrives in Hooters after directions from my good self - sup a couple of beers and I tell him I'm retiring for the night and he is probably wise doing the same. Needless to say, he decides a couple of beers in the hotel bar is needed - and spends about 5 quid on bottled beer.

half way around the world in 23 hours

Well, I've arrived in Washington (well technically just outside) after an exhausting day and night most of it due to my own stupidity. I went out and had a couple of beers with Boots while watching the Newcastle v West Brom game - and strangely enough arrived back at my place, but found hoegaarden in the fridge - so drank that - well all of it. So getting into bed around 1.30 after chinwagging with fellow MSN'ers it was just lovely when the alarm goes off at 4.45 - no really. Anyhoo, I got picked up by Mr Chester around 6am and we drove pretty quickly down to Heathrow, checked in via express checkin - which was nice, and tucked into some nice breakfast. We got on the plane to be told that a) the flight was going to take a little longer due to winds, and b) we werent gonna take off for a while due to some passangers checking in.

So we get on with it, have lunch, free beer, listened to some music - chatted to the nice young blonde sat next to me, had a bit of chin wag while she heated up, cooled down, heated up again - so Dr Wharton ends up getting a nice cup of tea for her - see - NICE!.

We eventually get to the airport to be faced with a huge queue at customs, due to new regulations - having both index fingers scanned and digital photos taken. Great, then hire cars, which took a little longer than expected, then to the hotel, where checkin took even longer than expected. I decided to freshen up, have a shower and meet the rest in the bar - where I get ID'd - class isnt it - 30 and still getting ID'd - must be that cream I use ;o) We grab some food, have a couple of swift ones and I decided to call it a night, well, decide to work for 2 more hours. So by the time my brain stopped functioning, it was 23 hours and I couldnt take it anymore. Needless to say, a firealarm going off at 5.50am is just what you want - no really. Turns out to be a false alarm and was only someone testing it.

We had to be ready in reception for 8.45 as we were visiting where we are supposed to be working, so american breakfast me up. We do the tour, get kitted out with security badges etc and got kicked out - so plans were made for the rest of the day - shopping or Georgetown - needless to say I joined 9 other travellers to "the largest mall in the area" - yeah ... great, I was impressed *. Although I did have a toasted subway sandwich - nice idea - simple but effective.

We're out tonight to a steak house (mmm steak) although myself and Mr Chester have to be up at 4.00 to start on this Test - fantastic - loads of beer for us tonight then.

And now, the weather

You may, or may not know, but I'm off to the states tomorrow with Captain Chester and his wife (sadly not the lovely Rachel). Random bits of information;

10 day weather forecast is here for washington dc
Web cam of the road between work and the hotel is here

For those who maybe in NY around the 10th Jan - you can get a weather report here

Massive thanks to John and Debbie for keeping an eye on my place.

60 mins run

Well, what would you expect to do in the early hours of the first bank holiday of 2005 - sleep ? ooh, I would so like to be in your shoes. I always promised to not use this weblog as a form of anger and frustration, but - my friends - this has to end this morning. At 01:55 I got a text message from Jess asking if I was still up and another at 01:58 asking if I was there. So, "being the nicest guy" I decided to jog up towards the pub and beyond - only to recieve a text message around about 2 mile away to say that Jess wasnt at home and I should forget about her. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC - NO REALLY!!!!! You see, you could have sent that AND saved the cost of two text messages AND saved my sleep & my energy!!!! I know this sounds really onesided, but I have put my neck on the line in front of my friends. They have said to just leave it and let it go, but my inner body said no, and myself and Rich have had this before to make him understand how I feel. Needless to say, I feel an even bigger fool that I should, and probably an older fool with a number of opportunities I've put to the side because of her.

JESS - THANK YOU & GOODBYE

Kneel before Sir Les!

I try not to link to football websites, if possible - but Newcastle United's ex-striker - but still someone I respect as a striker has now left Bolton. At the age of 38 - it looks like this may be his final season in the premiership, sadly, however we're all hoping he can continue. Some players have asked in the past "who was king when you first started playing football" and "what was football like in the dark ages". I for one, know what impact he has at St James Park when he played for the toon.

Sir Les, may it continue - as long as you dont score against NUFC

Single ? Get a bowler hat !

Yes, strange tho it may seem (and probably doesnt make any sense due to drinking heavily since none o'clock) bowler hats attract women. As you may or not know ... I dressed up as Mr Benn for new years eve, and decided to carry this off to the quiz (where we came joint 2nd with 3 plays - oooh weee oooow). So, decided to carry the theme, minus the tie, suit, shirt and sadly the sexy boxer shorts, no one saw by wearing & the bowler hat to the quiz. Needless to say, with me, the general knowledge monkey and the sports monkey, we thought we did OK - until the final results came out and we came joint second- which, I think is pretty good going.

Anyhoo, back to the story, countless girls (well 3) started talking to me, asking where I got the hat from etc etc, then pleasent convo's appears. Anyhow those knowing me really well, know that I aint a tap up merchant, regardless what Rich reckons - but was nice. The lovely Jess, was there, but starting to understand her slowly - however sadly, seeing her going off Captain Wharton's Radar for good (good luck Jess - baring in mind she knows how I feel).

Regardless what Rich, Cherry (mmm) or whoever think - this was a massive step, and to counter-act the fancy dress theme, the quiz - I will end up with a number of random head-dresses over the yeah. One of the real nice things someone has ever said was from the general knowledge monkey saying "you are THE nicest person I have ever met" - which may not seem alot, but means alot.

Happy New Beer!

John and Debbie were very kind enough to hold a new years eve party at their gaff, so obviously it was great for me, as I only had to roll out of the door, and into bed, while others arranged taxi's and walked to eons. Rather than just a bulk standard houseparty, John and Debbie insisted on fancy dress - all themed around kids TV/film/book characters. I decided to go as Mr Benn as I've always fancied wearing a bowler hat. Anyhoo, armed with 54 cans of lager, my special potatoes and my bowler hat, I struggled to walk that massive distance of 35 paces. Needless to say, even tho I was "late" I was still the first one to arrive - so started on the Chang beer - mmm. After a couple more beers and more people turning up, it just got strange - here was Mr Benn, talking to the rather lovely Mini Mouse (ok, albeit Mr Benn was blushing alot and very shy), Shrek and Dogtanion. Later on, Mr Benn also got talking to Fred Flintstone and other random stuff. Beer started to flow (far too much for some) and everyone had a merry time, playing that dreaded game singstar. Someone had a blonde wig - and suggested I tried it on - I dont know why, coz I'm Blond to start with - crazy. John thought I looked like Boris Johnson as per the below. I think they are crazy to suggest such a thing!

Arrogant Tory Wanker (pictured centre)

Anyhoo, we saw in the new year, shook hands, got kisses on the cheek by the lovely ladies and continued drinking beer. Getting voicemails and text messages is great - just not at the sametime - I'm a simple person, I can only do one thing at a time - and thats drink beer. Anyhow, a great night had by all, and a massive thanks again to John and Debbie for putting up with drunken louts trashing their place. John has put his photos up - and available here.

Sale Sabotage

Trawling the internet can be often fun ... it can often be very scary if you come across some strange websites - but managed to find this :-

http://elitedesigners.org/sabotage/09_sabotage.asp

Basically you create your sabotaged poster for the ikea sale poster - and it gets posted on t'internet. Some are a little x-rated - some are amusing in the archive which you can search around. My efforts;

http://elitedesigners.org/log/pics_sabotage/721.jpg

&

http://elitedesigners.org/log/pics_sabotage/715.jpg

Christ on a bike (part 2)

Remember this and that

Things are about to get even more creepier - believe me - and its all down to John

Anyhoo, to make some sense of this entry .. I was having a retro 2 hours - going thru some of my old CDs - one of which collapsed lung - I have this fantastic tshirt which I bought at a CL gig in leeds many many years ago, and its now towards the end of time. So dug around on T'Internet for places selling T-Shirts with the infamous C**LER blue and white tshirt. Sadly couldnt find anything, then decided to switch my search tactics to the newly formed band. I knew ant way back when life was simple and there was a thing called student grants, so decided to check out his name. Came across a hotmail/msn address - so decided to add it on the off chance - sure enough - up pops MSN.

We get chatting, have a laugh - talk about past, present and future - I let slip where I live, what I'm doing. Turns out Ant (my teenage hero) knows someone from the same area, working at the same place via his gaming channels - turns out to be no other than Gary Barker.

Bunch of Arse -nal

They say football is all about the highs and lows - now let me tell you *waving fist in your general direction* - 2004 has been a complete waste of a year in terms of Newcastle United (maybe with the exception of reaching the semis of the uefa cup. Anyhoo, the last couple of games have been dross - please - someone - tell me - how can you play a central defender on the right and a right back in central defence AND the same in midfield - just chaos all over again. We are now playing like the dalglesh era - aka - getting up to their box - bricking our pants and punting it back to the keeper - and starting all over again. Like I say, if you're a geordie and support the toon, then you'll know its been a bad time lately. When Sky billed the Newcastle v Arsenal game as last game of 2004 three things sprung to mind;

• whitewash
• shambles
• Where's my Carling Rich ?

Anyhoo, it turned out to be a good game, entertaining and more importantly - passionate and Newcastle playing for a little bit of pride for a change. Yea yea, we have Shearer injured, Kluivert out, blah blah, its still not excuse for people raking in 20/30K a week for being scared of a ball. Turns out that a) we should have a pen due to some dodgy refereeing and b) arsenal's only goal was spawny if not a little brilliant.

After refusing a lockin (Rich is off swanning around Europe over New Year and had a flight at 8am) we ended up in the Kebabital and bumped into JT (Dirty Mackem scum - but very nice bloke - even after the "Dont tell Mrs T - but Newcastle are a massive team compared to Sunderland" convo at his 30th) who decided to rip into my new funky jumper I purchased from GAP that day - THANKS!

BYE THEN, XMAS!!!

Xmas is a time to be with those you care about, and I done just that. After work and a good game of football on Wednesday night, I drove straight up North in the top quality 110 quid for 7 days hire car. Managed to get to my mothers around 10:30 so, not a bad journey really. However (and this isnt slating my mother off) but she has the smallest, coldest spare room in the world, with the smallest, coldest single bed in the universe. Needless to say, with the M1 still going through my head I didnt get to sleep til around 3am. Bless my mother, she put a hot water bottle in my bed to take the chill out of the bed. A couple of things you may or may not want to know, but as I fall asleep, I somehow become the hottest material in the solar system - this is great when its cold - not what you had a hotwater bottle in the bed.

As I was working from the Newcastle office, I had to be up at some unearthly hour of 7.30am - Within seconds of being the hottest object, I went to the coldest as soon as I managed to crawl out of bed. Knowing my mum had a shower, I attempted to warm myself up - although she has one of them showers, you know, one twist to the left, the water is minus 802 degrees, one twist to the right, you loose your skin - never a happy medium. Between here and Xmas Day, I visited Philippa, a close friend that I've been in touch with since school. We had a laugh, I had a can of carling and got sent on my way.

Xmas day was cool (in more ways than one) - had a nice sleep in - well, I managed to staple myself to the bed so I wouldnt fall out. Opened nice presents from my mum - then got showered (at this point I dont have any skin left) and we went over to my sisters (Gillian) who was cooking Xmas Lunch for us all - she was looking a little green around the cheeks, so said I would help her out, where she left to go upstairs. Already stinking of garlic from her Kebab from the infamous Xmas Eve Beer Session - she came back looking a little rough and admitting that she had just chucked her guts - at which point I took control of the dinner - incase she collapsed in the turkey - to which point my Dad turned up. Lunch was nice, even tho I may say so myself - and we had a laugh, they all drank in front of me (sure they were trying to rub it in) - also got a suprise call from the lovely Jess to wish me a Merry Xmas too - purr.

Boxing day was chilled (in more ways than one) - and managed to find Ikea open - so done some shopping there before going back to Winlaton to take some photos of the pubs. After my hands going blue, I went to visit another close friend from school, Een. It was their baby girl's birthday (little Jess - not sexy stoodent - that would just be wrong) 1st birthday last month, so felt guilty and only met her once. She is the sweetest thing in the world - very intellgent already - and got me thinking about having a kid (although, technically I have to find someone to have a baby with). Een and myself made plans for a drunken night up in Winlaton, while having extra large buttons forced into my arm and kids juice poured all over my jeans.

So it was set, I was going to stay at my sisters for the night, go out drinking with Een and Harry (Een's Dad). Winlaton is like the wild west of old - you cannot predict what will happen - ever. Its a constant source of amusement for those who know where to stand and who to watch, the girls are lovely looking, yet knobbing complete Chavs, Crimmies and those with half a brain cell - hence me and Een never pulling in Winlaton. We chatted, chilled out and eventually got drunk - so after last orders, myself and Een decided that chips and gravy would be ideal to close the night. I promised I would take my sister a kebab back (at this point she was at a house party down her road). I managed to stagger back to my sisters street (through one of the dodgiest estates) and had a couple of bottles at this house party - which was nice - traditional geordie welcoming - well apart from who's house it was. After chips, I fell into a Carling/Stella/Fosters Coma until the next morning.

Said my good byes to my sister and my mum - packed the car, drove down and arrived 6 hours later - lovely - no food, no beer, no women at my place. Managed to resolve 2 out of the 3 by going to costcutters for Stella, and Mamma's Pizza for Pizza. Watched Lara Croft - which is probably the worst film I've ever seen - then watched Star Wars Ep 4 - had another suprise call from the lovely Jess. Collapsed into another Stella Coma - woke up Tuesday - went shopping - the end.

Pubs Pubs Pubs and More Pubs

After John and Debbie's top quality mini-project of photos of Leamington's Pubs, I decided I would do the same for my home town when I was up for Xmas. I give you - Public Houses of Winlaton. In comparison - not very good to John's collection - but you can see what life up north is like via the power of the Internet. It's probably very much safer than a visit to the Wild West of Winlaton.

Merry Weekend.

Well apart from the Chaos of pub mania ... which has turned out to be a whole year round activity. I have managed to sort out a hire car to newcastle. How the mighty has fallen, from Ka -> Rover 25 -> MG TF - how to class a hire car. Not trying to be a snob, but I like my comfort - doesnt matter if its my Ted Baker tshirts, my canal side flat, or comfy sports car - but its getting me from a to b - with a little more than I expected. Anyhoo, as of Wednesday lunch time, I will be hiring some dodgy Sinclair C5 or something. Going back to Newcastle is going to be a little strange, baring in mind I havent been there since April for friend Een's daughter Jess's chistening. I have the car til Wednesday lunch time, so I expect Monday/Tuesday return - depending on how stressed my family get me. Harsh I know - and its probably my fault because I dont visit as much as I should and could. I am looking forward to it .. mainly because its an excuse of getting out of the Leamington goldfish bowl, but also in the same nanosecond, very scared of whats going to be up there - my parents getting older, memories from yesteryear and the pull back to the geordie nation. I never thought I would want to go back, but experiences over the last 3 or 4 months are starting to suck me back. I've started to drift further than I expected too, getting stuck in that very very usual ruck - which can be good - dont get me wrong.

Anyhoo, I've managed to get into the Xmas spirit - mainly by buying Mincepies and wearing a Santa's hat - which I gave away in my festive mood - I've managed to get nearly all of my presents purchased - so I'm on course. I just know that come April/May I'll be humming Christmas Tunes at work - confusing people as I have already this year.

I have three christmas wishes for this year - one of which no one can provide - I'm sure, one I can provide to someone else, and one I wish could happen to a close friend - because "I like to see my friends happy"

Football - Gumball more like

I had a hazy text message session with an old, close and trustworthy friend of my lastnight. This was in the middle of a session with Captain Rich. Anyhoo, Een - close, trustworthy friend has decided to arrange an unofficial gumball in the UK - invite only of course. I think the idea is that we start off in a location in the UK - and finsh at a predefined location in the fastest possible time. I called Een back up today to see how his arrangements were going - and what the fuck he was on about - turns out its a little like the cannonball run - so decided I might turn up like the below fellow - Captain Chaos

However, one small problem at the moment, I dont have a car - so the only things I can think are;

• Push bike
• Sinclair C5
• Buy a car when insurance comes through
• Hire the "66" bus for a weekend as a laugh.

mmmm Christmas Punch (part 2)

Strangely feeling OK and working from home, I suggested that Captain Rich & Admiral Bob meet me in the Hogs Head for lunch. To which Rich then arranged some kind of gathering when Captain Blunty and Princess Nomes turned up at 13:15. So we have a couple of pints, spot of food and nomes goes back to work. Things started to flow and I thought I could get used to this, however 2 hours into the session, I got called out with a project I was working on, so went back home, leaving Blunty and Rich to talk about lastnights party. After fixing the problem due to one character being incorrect, I gave Rich a shout to see if he was still in town, to which I recieved slurring, swearing and abuse - told him I would be up in 10 mins.

Once again the beer started to flow, Rich kept repeating the fact that he was drinking through the pain barrier to sober up, grinned for a while and finished his drink. Blunty then makes an exit as he was meeting friends in Kenilworth, so myself and the Captain decided food was in order - Bodrums Fish and Chip shop, where I had the hardest chips in the world, and the Captain had the ropiest looking kebab in the world. Rich was about to head home until I told him that the IT students were having a Xmas do at Yates around the corner. Of course, this was like a kid in a candy shop, we attended, bought beers and took the piss a little more - managing to aquire Santa hats each. We went down to the Well after this, where the IT students left one by one, however before this recieving a call from the lovely Jess asking if I wanted to meet her. So, of course, speechless I met up and we had a swift one in the Jug and had a little chat. Jess said that she was going back to Leeds for a couple of days to get away from the place, and might see me after Xmas. Her mum then came to pick her up, so like a gentleman, I walked her to the car. She did look vr foxy lastnight - sadly not staying any longer - which is a shame coz she is a lovely lass, got alot of time for her - being foxy and clicking with me has nowt to do with it - obviously.

Anyhoo, after most of the students had left, we decided to go for a wander for a change of venue - Kelsey's - a funny place, we were the only ones looking remotely festive, so we supped our pints and left. Rich suggested we might get into TJs - Leamingtons finest Bistro and Bar - still wearing our hats and now deffo feeling the effects of basically 48 hours constant boozing. John and Debbie where at the IBM Ball in Birmingham, so kept receiving text messages saying how I was probably their best neighbour and how I'm so nice blah blah. So we get into TJs - even tho its a private party - where Rich produces a black straw and bends it to look like a microphone - looking dapper - I decided I should follow his cool actions - after more beer, 80s music and looking like a pair of tits - we called it a day - still wearing microphone straws.

mmm Christmas Punch (part 1)

Well, what can I say, xmas is all about friends, family and basically getting shit faced as much as you can, in a small space of time. So much as happened over the last couple of days, I've tried to document it in small, and semi-understandable chunks - so here we go with Thursday.

The Day : Thursday, The Place : Leamington, The time - Thursday and Friday.

It was the IBM xmas do for ebiz at Maccy's, although I wasnt invited out for the meal (damn you - and let me tell you!!) but Rich and Nomes kindly asked me to the after beer mele (oh, so true on so many levels), before we went off to the sales Xmas do for more of the same, but for me - some food as well. After spending an hour waiting around for Rich for finish his 702 desserts - I decided to to go to the Hogs Head (now called the old butchers - not frank) for a sly one. Of course, in true Headworth style, he calls up as I get myself a pint - so being across the road he decided to slip out for a sly one and join me. To which he suggested if I wanted to have a laugh, I should suggest to a fellow Geordie about taking out his 18 and 21 year old daughters. Up for a laugh, I decided this would be funny - however I dont think Rich found the funny side when fellow Geordie Steve G grabbed him around the throat asking why I'm sniffing around his daughters. Anyhoo, we went over to the party to meet everyone else - where I was greated by Rich's manager shouting - "you're not ebiz, get the fuck out of here" - being a quiet and shy lad - I decided to tell him to shut the fuck up and sit down, he was a shambles, mess and couldnt manage a xmas pudding - nevermind a Team. This piss take basically continued for about 20 mins, when the next thing I know - three people are running out of the party and one of the team leaders holding his head with blood pouring out. Not someone to miss out, myself and Rich went over and mocked a little and got given more drinks by people who I've done favours for over the last years.

We moved on to Baroque to the sales gig, was good - less people, more fancy dress. JT - was dressed as homer simpson. Anyhoo - half way through the procedings, one of the lads gets a text message saying theres been more trouble, the same guy who hit the team leader, tried to headbutt the team leaders mate, and failed - and the lad's gf got a smash pint glass and threatened him - it all kicked off and family unity decreased as the lads brother started to make his feelings know.

Anyhooo. After this - we all piled into Rio's - some had beer, some had water - some left early - some stayed until after kicking out time.

What do you do ?

In the heart of my confusing, mental, adhoc world - there are a number of things which are still unclear - some of which are probably best kept like that - or my mind would explode. Anyhoo, its the festive time of year, drink starts to pour. There is someone in my magical mystical world who I really care deeply about. We're talking the type of person that makes the world stand still apart from you and her (you know - the matrix special effect gubbins) , the type of person that leaves you feeling weak at the knees and the type of person that you instantly click with that she leaves you speachless. You're probably thinking, this is all a little cheesy, and maybe it is ... but its coming from the heart. I havent felt like this about anyone, ever, and some people know about my history and what i've been through. Sometimes I dont know what goes on in her head, and I dont pretend too - sometimes i think we're so close but so far away. Strange hey ? Guess its one of them things when you've just met someone, but also feel like youve met them all you're life.

ANYHOO - here comes the complication / other hand to the story. Someone I've basically copped off with many times in the past (and friend) - well, we managed to do it again at an IT related xmas do. It was a corner of the pub/club situation, but she's seeing someone. I know she likes me, and I do think sometimes there could be a future of it. Anyhow, she basically told me I need to go away and think about stuff - what do I want, etc etc etc.

So what do you do when you close your eyes and think about someone constantly, think of their smile and stand still until that image leaves your mind (sometimes 5 mins until your grin goes). There is no pressure nor is there any stress, nor is there any kind of advertisement needed. Do you go for the safety and know that if you go for the latter, you are safe - but risk missing out on something that would be and will be so great

I know what I want, I know who I want - Its a case of if she wants the same thing, she wants someone she can trust, and maybe help her through alot of gubbins

Deep huh ?

For some reason, and I guess its mainly down to loosing the car - I REALLY hate Xmas this year. I know its harsh, and I know its a scrooge thing to do. Basically I could sleep for Xmas day and boxing day and not give a fuck. Its even got to the sitation where I'm waving my fist at festive things and screaming DAMN YOU!!!.

It might be because, Woolworths stock Xmas Festive Chocolate packs in August, it might be because you can book your Xmas Lunch at Hogs Head in Sept - its just boring.

On the other side, I'm really looking forward to seeing my folks again.

Trains Planes and Automobiles

After 3 months of no car action and xmas coming up very very very quickly, I am starting to worry how I'm going to get to Newcastle for xmas. Captain Bob (rich's team leader) said he would lend me his company car, however had to then take back the offer due to some legal rangling about only being used for work business. To be fair, his dad was in hospital with some small issue - oh yeah, heart attack - that'll be it.

Alison (my team leader) also offered me her spare car as her boyfriend and she are swanning off to Mainland Europe snowboarding. However, the added complication is that she's in India and her boyfriend is in Spain at the moment and dont return til Tuesday.

Anyhoo, decided to call my mother up after I got in from football - just to hear a friendly voice (explained in the above) - of course, she rants on how its close to xmas and I need a fall back plan - basically everything you dont want to hear, because you know its true - and you're bricking your pants about it.

Question of Sport ?

I bring you ... Duck Football

Canal United (pictured above) utilising the 4-4-2 formation.

Shake your music maker!

A list of good albums I've purchased this year;

The best of Bananarama - Bananarama
Who Killed the Zutons
Prefab Sprout - The best of prefab sprout
Keane

Haircut 100

My hair has been getting into a state lately, I'm trying to grow it before its too late and I cant any longer. So trying to keep length on top, but keeping it nice looking at the back and sides has been a pain. I tend to try doing it myself, and end up shaving it all off, back to square one. Over the last couple of weeks, things have been living in my hair, things like squirrels and chipmonks - so prompted me to pay a professional £8.50 to cut and shape my hair. This is the first time I've been to a Gents Barbers for about 3 years - needless to say, it was an experience and was a little scared.

Lock Shock and Barrel

Saturday was the re-opening of the Lock Stock and Barrel in Leamington (Hiya John) - litterally over the road from Canal House Properties. One of the lads from work and his brothers * had taken over the place and we were invited via loads of emails at work. I was going to have a quiet one, but thought - bugger it, why not. So, after pre-pub drinks with John and Debbie, we had a quick pint - at which point Captain Geordie Mike, his Girlfriend, Super Gary and his bird, and Tom turned up. Feeling a little dodgy about strange looking people walking around, obviously setting up some drug run/eating/drinking/getting knocked over by pikey kids - we decided to venture down to the Jug and Jester for quiet drinks, where myself Tom and Mike reminised about the Keegan era, the pro's and con's of the season that nearly was and our failings over the years.

Anyhoo, after huge amounts of alcohol we stumbled back - although unlike the previous times, managed to avoid next doors "come in and have a quick one - Warning : You will stay til 03:45 drinking & singing Gold at the top of your voice very very badly" offer - and somehow got into bed around 01:00.

Hotel California - well Hotel NY

Well, after weeks of faffing around trying to coordinate the hotel accomodation between myself, Captain Rich and General Chester in NY managed to get resolved. After weeks of fact finding to which hotel was best suited, decent price and easily located in the fine city of NY, I managed to find a nice one - priced at US$109 per night. So, all that was needed was for everyone to book the room at the same to ensure there was enough rooms. Of course, typical Wharton style, the General booked his on Friday without thinking about asking if he could do mine and Rich's at the same time. Needless to say, myself and Captain Haphazzard have now managed to reserve our rooms - c'est fantastique!

No news on insurance payout for the car - god damn it! Gonna give them a nice call tomorrow to chase them up, but been looking at the rather nice looking Fiesta Zetec S which isnt out til Jan 8th. Once again, I will be rallying around Leamington (hello john) like I used to in my Rover 25 and Ford Ka - lush

Woah, Pizza Dude

Its been about two weeks since I saw my top quality neighbours, and probably 3 or 4 since I indulged in beer fest with them. So I thought I would be a little sociable and a little bit if a cheapskate, so asked if they fancied going to Pizza Hut with some vouchers I won at the quiz months ago. So, of course, in true traditional style, two bottles of wine later, we're down the Jug and Jester drinking Stella. I blink and its closing time, but not before bumping into one of our other neighbours, the rather lovely, sexy & cute Jo.

We retire back to John and Debbie's for (well me, water - coz I could barely talk) drinks and singstar 2 - of which I end up loosing against someone singing Gold - arse.

I woke up, rolled out of bed and rolled down to the Well to watch Chelsea v Newcastle - Tom and Abbi joined me, and remotely assisting in Managerial Armchair strategy was Geordie Mike. Of course, we end up loosing 4-0 - which improved my mood *.

I wandered into town, to be surrounded by shoppers who just stop for no reason - this pissed me off, so popped into Fop and purchased "Who Killed the Zutons" - which by all accounts is a great album.

Tonight, we're going to the grand opening of the Lock Dock and Barrel (just over the road) - hopefully a short one tonight tho

Should have gone to King Baba's

Bit of a strange night lastnight. One of our insurance related customers was visiting work and the account manager was taking them out for entertainment. Although they had a couple of people to attend already, it was a case of getting techies to attend to make the numbers up. I was told;

• I wouldnt need to buy any beers or any food
• I had to behave myself and not call anyone a "shambles"
• Be polite, not use my typical geordie charm of swearing constantly
• Not to get too boozed up, as my drinking mate Captain Rich and I tend to lead each other astray.

So, Rich and I walk up into town to the Lounge to be faced with - "Put any drinks on tab 100 - thats 100". Myself and Rich just grinned from ear to ear with a licence to complete alcohol abuse, but still held back. Next thing I know ... I hear one of the other techies calling the customer a "shambles", of course this raised an internal giggle, but no - behaved myself. After 2 or 3 pints there, we went to the lovely Five Rivers (a posh curry place - "If I wanted a curry, I would go after 8 pints, expect dodgy wallpaper and pay 12 quid for 3 courses"). The table wasnt ready so we went to the lovely Jug and Jester. At this point Bob [ Rich's Team Leader ] (his dad was in hospital last week with a heart attack - so willing myself and Rich in with the details) decides to contantly talk, get boozed up and tell the lovely tale of how he went to ASDA and purchased a full outfit for 40 quid. Funny the first time ... after the 8th - no amount of Stella can help you.

Anyhoo, we ended up back at the Five Rivers, get some Moet down our necks, and order some food. It turns out (baring in mind I was sandwiched between the two customers) that Catherine doesnt like spicy food, so in Rich's wisdom hands her the plate of Spicy Starters - "You like kebab dont you? Surely you like kebab". I dont know why, but I found this funny (ok, maybe the amount of booze I had on an empty stomach) - so funny in fact I started crying with laughter. To which, the customers were a little concerned incase I was choking. Anyhoo, after some tiger beer and more moet, they all decide to go clubbing - myself and Rich were in a little bit of a state - so slipped off to the Well for a sly one, without really saying goodbye or thanks. Had a pint in the well to the point I could barely talk or stand and tried tapping up the lovely, sexy and cute Emma

Weekends ... They are for YOU!

People who are sober : Part 2

Captain Andy - aka The Wolf

A russian wolf, pictured centre

People who are sober : Part I

A photo of Princess Nomes .... when she was sober (and on-call)

A russian princess, pictured centre

CSI : Codename "Stop Spending"

After the London Town situation and pound night, it was good to be back in the usual place, usual time & usual people. So a little bemused when I rolled it at 10am because of the dodgy bus systems, my desk had been taken over by someone and my power pack for my laptop missing. After a cup of tea, I was feeling like I was on top of the world, until moments later, Captain Headworth decides pops up, looking like death warmed up. We met for some lunch later on to discuss the NY trip and where we were going to stay, and now if you cast your minds back to him taking the piss out of me at the football.

"So ill, cant eat food, tummy sore"

Much amusement. Anyhoo, turned up for football and carved the two teams up myself to make sure it was fair, needless to say, the big baby who moaned about me tackling was on my side - incase I accidently took his legs out again and having claims direct on my back. Managed to score one, hit the post 6 times, setup about 3 goals and we managed to win 5-3. Enjoyable really

I then get back to my gaff to find council tax demands etc etc - which has now been resolved. On top of this, I also have to pay the inland rev £2!!! On the plus side, the insurance people are going to settle with me over the stolen MG princess which was taken away from my arms and I wont have to supply the inland rev with anymore tax returns next year. Bonus!

Rich and Steve - both have beer Bellis

Part of both CSI and watching the mighty toon march on Europe, I invited captain rich down for a couple of beers and ITV2. Turns out that our Crazy Brummie friend, Captain Alan Bellis, was in town for a night out celebrating the hard work* he's done on a certain Scottish bank. It was arranged in the following way

• Steve & Rich drink themselves stupid at my gaff while Newcastle play
• 21:00 Captain Mentalish would get a taxi from Warwick to my gaff and join in the Stella-fest
• 21:45 Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy would pop around to my place and meet us
• We would all go down to the Well for CSI beers and have an early night

Needless to say, at 21:45 we couldnt get hold of Bellis, so we thought, bugger it, we'll all go get boozed up and he can find us. At some random point of the night, I see some Hobo struggle over the bridge then wiped my Stella glazed eyes and worked out it was Bellis. After convicing the bouncers that he wouldnt create any trouble we managed to get him in the pub - to which he necked 3 x Double Vodka & Cokes in 2 nanoseconds.

Anyhoo, Princess Nomes and Wolf Andy probably took the correct option by leaving at that point, we stayed (although I was drinking water) until no one could take anymore. We went via the Kebabital where Rich got his stable diet and Bellis got chips with mayo (not simon), claiming I wanted mayo although I physically hate the stuff. Apparently Bellis fell over into his chips and mayo, drank more, woke up in the morning and drove home, never to be seen by anyone again.

The streets are not paved with gold! Part 2 of 2

I get up in the morning looking like death warmed up to the cabin boy looking even worse than I did - looking for direction for the day, we call Alison to see what she wants us to do. As they were still restoring at this point, the account team didnt want us to leave London incase it went belly up. Right I thought, I'm going for a little wander, I've had my sunday wasted - so with personal cabin boy in company, we stroll along the Thames over Tower Bridge, to find a nice starbucks where we conduct private conf calls and supping tea. With still no direction from the account and my mood dipping already, I decide that I'm going to take the piss and prepare for another night in London village - so go shopping and find another starbucks for more tea. It was then announced that we would stay overnight again, and go to the Southbank office. I ask the cabin boy how long it would take to get to southbank "40 mins by foot, we could get a taxi, or get the tube" - I have a few experiences of the tube and still felt a tad dodgy so decided management stylee, that we would work. Luckily, the cabin boy "knows the way to Southbank so we dont need to worry" - 55 mins later we manage to find IBMs eBiz secret DR location - but no Southbank office after "its around here somewhere, I'm sure of it - maybe we should have turned right"

We get there and my mood is at an all time weekend low, do a couple of hours work, conduct a couple of conf calls and head back to the hotel. Go out for more booze and food and abuse the local cockney sparrows. Luckily I decide to bypass the hotel bar this time and retire to bed - just as well really as I receive a nice call from Alison at 08:30 Tuesday morning telling us we can go home. One conclusion from this shambles is that the cabin boy would suit living in London - mainly due to his shambolic driving and lane swapping every 30 seconds.

My attention span was at an all time low - so it was decided when I got back to Warwick, I was going home to bed early - only for Admiral Headworth to suggest we go for a sly pint as we aint had once since thursday night. Needless to say, we had a couple in the hogs head (with some food) and moved onto pound night, where things continued, the beer continued to flow and the students turned up. It got to such a bad stage where the students were then going home because they had too much. I dont know what time I left the pub, nor do I know what time I got in ... or what happened, although I must have replied to a text message from the lovely Student Jess (puurr)

The streets are not paved with gold! Part 1 of 2

Well, I dont know where to start really... I havent posted anything for a while because I've either done nowt at all (Zip as the americans call it) as part of my CSI project, or being stitched up a right good one. An overview is basically Friday night, did bugger all, but chilled, saturday done bugger all apart from listen to the footy on t'internet radio (mainly due to rain) and got boozed up while getting cozy. I decided that rather than a complete booze session with Admiral Rich, I would chill out, relax and entertain myself. I played GTA for a while as I havent played it for a couple of weeks, watched Old School while tucking into a nice bottle of wine, which turned into belgian beer. Anyhoo - at this point its 03:00 sunday morning, I can barely walk and I'm watching a BBCi doc on little britain.

At approx 07:30 I received a call from my team leader, Alison, asking if I could go down to London to work - of course, I was a little confused that why was I being asked to work on a sunday and why the hell had I only had 4 hours kip. I kind of suggested I had better things to do - like shop, the quiz, shopping and not going to London on my weekend time off. She said she would try getting something else arranged, but called about 20 mins when I was snoozing off again. So ... the story develops that one of our customers has invokes a DR (not a test, not a site being blown up by a bomb) to fix a few problems. So, I end up having to travel down with Cabin Boy Woods where we manage to check into a swanky hotel, park the car and make our way to the building where we are to be working. In parallel, two guys from liverpool are supposed to be coming down to fix their side of the issue - but are no where to be seen - being tired, annoyed and a little bemused - the answer was public house, sunday lunch and decent football. What I got was a room full of cheeky cockney sparrows, a crap "chicken" burger and Birmingham v Blackburn - so with my mood spiralling out of control, we wander back to the building to where the guys have turned up. After 50 mins of faffing around with equipment, we fix our side of the deal, and let the 2 scousers kick off a restore - to which I suggested going back to the hotel. All sounds a little dull, techie and dweebie at this point and it doesnt get much better - until I convinces the cabin boy to get sorted as we were going to paint the town red and risk getting paged out with things going tits up.

Well, the area we were staying in - was the finacial side of London - so Sunday night, not exactly great for talent - so bugger than, lets get my bad mood flooded with stella .... So after drinking nigh on 2 bottles of wine myself, 2 pints of carling, then 2 shots - I decided it was probably best if I retired for the night, but being unable to focus, I had to stay up for 2 hours to sober up enough to stop the room spinning.

10 pound more the richer

Well ... technically £11.50 richer. After the sham of the football, we were involved in the Sunday Night Quiz and having monday off, I wasnt really that fussed about how much I drank - Truth be told, I fancied a little bit of a session as I hadnt had one (apart from Thursday night's post work session of stella - mmm sweet Stella). Our old friends and team mates (General Knowledge Monkey and Sports Monkey) had returned for the weekend from Uni - so it was good to get the well oiled quiz machine working again.

Anyhoo, we started well, winning the first round, it started to get hazy for a while until we managed to win the jackpot - £69 between 6 of us ... fantastic - at least the students can eat this month.

Things got alittle hazy when Rich slid off as he had a 9.30am meeting with a customer - so I continued to drink with the students, who decided to slid off at some early hour - Students these days hey! they dont know the meaning of the word. The usual ended up happening, by staying after hours having a couple of pints. Points from the night that are starting to be recalled;

• Playing balloon football with Chris (getting covered with beer and water in the meantime)
• Waking up with to massive inflatable yellow hands
• Waking up wearing a blue tshirt with "moose" written on it
• Declaring I would be working at the Well on Monday night

Armchair Manager

After the sham of Car Stolen/Unable to get to Newcastle/Unable to hand the tickets over to Mike - I never imaged for one minute that the Newcastle Utd v Man Utd (scum) would be a walk in the park and, well, lets put it this way - aid my stress and mood. I left my lovely flat to wander down to the Well leaving the captain to walk down after fixing his tax fraud problems and sat in a very warm area of the pub, supping a nice pint of diet pepsi. Needless to say, being an avid armchair general I started ripping into the line up (three strikers, bellamy on the left and bowyer - just does not work - Fact!) and my mood diving after 6 minutes when Rooney (past toon target) scored and OK goal (ok, it was better than OK, but you cant say that). Shearer managed to pull us level after 70 odd minutes (by this time I was well on my way to drinking) with a lovely left footed chip. This is where things got a little to much for me - surrounded by man u fans - a pen was given to man u (at which point - the man u fans decide its safe enough for them to take their tops off to reveal their Man U strip). Needless to say, they won 3-1 - I reckon 1-1 was a fare result myself - as that would have given us one point.

After the game ... more Armchair Manager tactics were discussed via SMS with Captain Mike

Grass Roots Football

After a strange, exhausting week in many different ways and missing out on going to see the Might Toon v Scummy Small Club Manchester United - I thought it was probably best to do something with the weekend. I've tended to waste weekends by going into town, meeting up with the captain and getting boozed up and rolling home and falling into a Stella/Carling/Hoegaarden coma - never a good thing really.

Anyhoo, I thought, why dont we go see Leamington Brakes for a day out - Rich was around, sure enough he agreed. Knowing what football is like at a decent stadium such as St James Park I managed to take scarf, fleece and wooly hat to protect myself from mother nature. Met up with the captain for a swift one at the Wind Mill pub where the bus picks people up. Fantastic ... anyhow, by this time, the sun is starting to set and the wind is whipping up, so there is a little bit of a chill. Now, I used to work at ASDA in the Frozen food section (ie Industrial Size Freezers) and they never give you the correct uniform - ie Jumpers and Gloves - so I'm used to the constant cold (and the fact I lived in Newcastle for most of my life). By Half time, the Brakes were 2-0 up and myself and Rich were having to purchase hot drinks, just to keep our hands warm. The captain had to purchase a club scarf to keep warm when we turned up (and to inject a little cash into the club too I suspect)

Coming from a priv'd footballing background - I've always noticed that the ref and linesmen ( I know its not very PC - but its a man's sport) get alot of abuse from players. So it was refreshing to hear after a player got caught offside and was moaning to the linesman, the linesman replying "Shut up and get on with it". Myself and the captain chuckled a couple of times (Warning :- may have been 80 mins). At one point the opposition were moaning about an offside judgement to be incorrect - to which he replied "You played him onside you fool" - again we chuckled. I would have loved to have payed the linesman £3 quid extra for the comedy.

Anyhoo, after 90 mins (plus 10 mins stoppage time and the final score being 2-1 to the mighty Brakes) we managed to get the bus back to civilisation - well, the Well for a couple of swift ones before rugby no necks stole live prem plus and watched the tri-nations.

Upstanding member of the community and not a Hooligan (pictured centre)

If you have spare time - I would suggest going to see them ... good laugh and all to a good cause.

Pro's and Con's of Public Transport

I admit, its been an eye opener this week, not only have i had to work out how to get to work without car, but also ensure I have enough cash in my pockets to do so. I've also had to master the art, of getting a lift when I can, rather than standing at the bus stop in the cold, listening to chavs/pikeys/crazies talk. One of the good things on the bus server is they have a sign saying "Get fit, get off a stop early and walk". Great idea ... however;

• I pay £2.90 return - If I wanted to get off a stop earlier - I would pay less
• Its cold - that extra 3 mins of natural crazy/chav/pikey body heat around you is important
• Sometimes it takes 20 mins to fight for a seat - why give it up to a lazy.

Anyhoo, as I have today off, we decided lastnight to disembark a couple of stops earlier, and have a couple of pints to celebrate the "Rich and Steve cause Random in NY" tour. So, after 7 pints, we visit the kebabital where I'm told that it wasnt the finest Kebab the captain has ever tasted.

To conclude ... Buses can be good and bad (mostly at the same time)

5 portions of fruit and veg a day ? no just the Big Apple please

After a bad week at work and, well basically some twoc'ing bastard stealing my car, I decided to do something good to cheer myself up. I'd just had word from work that I could arrange my travel for the disaster recovery test in Washington DC in Jan. However, things are never really really that simple. The idea is that;

• After the DR test - myself and Mr Chester (and his wife) will travel from DC to NY
• Captain Rich will fly from UK to NY and meet me
• Spend a couple of days faffing around with yanks
• Fly back to UK

All sounds simple ... NO ... you wouldnt believe the shambles I had to deal with to coordinate flights etc. Anyhow ... after the captain was stuttering and pondering around over should he or shouldnt press the "confirm" button for the tickets. Needless to say, its all sorted - ish - with the added complexity of;

• Steve flys back to Heathrow
• Rich flys back to Birmingham via Dublin
• Both flights land within 30 mins of each other at different airports
• Rich still wants to go see the mighty Chesterfield 6 hours after jetting around the world.

Needless to say, Steve & Rich in leamington is just about bareable, Steve and Rich in New York, with loads of americas to take the piss out of .... ooh, so many people, so little time!

Bar Service

we ended up in the boozer on free ebiz food and drink. So after a day of "harmless" banter - all I needed was harsh piss take from car related jokes from friends and co-colleagues. After 6 beers, we decided to call it a day. Unfortunately my dream of someone picking up my car at an early hour, cleaning it, giving it a free MOT, filling the petrol up and cleaning up the mess, never actually happened and reality is about to kick in. I bought tickets to the Newcastle v Man U game at the weekend, and the only chance of meeting up with the lovely Philippa is;

• Hire a car
• get a train

both of which will encur costs to the unknown. I had also started to look forward to seeing my sister (Gillian) my mum and dad, and had actually planned a hell of alot of the time. I had taken 2 days off from work to do the trip coz I've felt bad about not seeing them since April and now its all gone to shit. To conclude;

• What ever happens, Newcastle v Man U will be the wrong result, if I go - we will loose, if I dont - we will host the game of the century
• Car theives are lower than the low - personally, should have as many car keys shoved up their arses until they cry like children
• Winlaton's pubs, will have to wait to be photographed until Xmas
• Although I respect Blair and the improvements he's making to the UK - how can someone have 3 crime numbers to the same car, within a 100metre radius, not have Pikes/Chavs/Twats protected against him
• Leamington is going down in my estimation and feel safer in Winlaton ( one of the hardest/roughest towns in the North East)
• Friends really become friends when the chips are down and you need cheering up
• Someone up there has decided that they will bloke any kind of semi attraction between me and Pippa
• The Kebabital is never your friend, no matter how many Stella's you have
• THE person you want and really really want to be with, always decides its just not cricket and puts a spanner into your perfect engine RE:book

Anyhoo, I have to get up early to grab a bus - to get in for 9am ...

PS :- anyhow seeing VX52 DHL on the streets and me not driving - you know who to call ( Hint : Not ghostbusters)

Bus Service

.... got on the 66. I know it sounds a little snobbish (and I mean snobbish coming from someone from Winlaton, and living in Leamington) but I have never ever had to get the bus into work... hence calling my bus-active friend - Rich. So, after having to pay £2.90 return for a 3 mile journey (baring in mind, in newcastle I paid 1.90 for return from the outskirks of gateshead into newcastle [ 5 mile ] and from Headingly to Horsforth [ 4 mile ] for 1.75) I was a little shocked. Only to be confronted by more shock tactics by the government - Chavs, Pikeys and strangely looking people on public transport. Much to the delight of the captain, I thought it was my duty as a tax payer, and as I'm paying;

• car insurance
• road tax
• random other get the environment healthy tax's

for the privvies of having to ride the bus and not having a say in the service.

Anyhoo, after the local jibs and jibes - we get to work to more jibs and jibes from colleagues basically saying :-

"Have you been to see a car show room", "wheres your car?" and "why get the bus into work when you can drive your car" blah blah blah... to which ....

Car Service

Many people laughed when prefab sprout were around, many people still laugh that I folked out 10 quid for the best of album, but I quote

"At the hands of life - stinkin' car thief, thats my concept of sin"

Needless to say, on an already bad morning trying / struggling to get out of bed, I walked up to the main pavement to find, and I wager - not many people have felt this confusion, my car missing. At first, I thought it was me, at second, I thought it was me then resorted to top quality neighbour Debbie to double check that I hadnt gone mad, and that the car was just not there. After minutes of poking at a spot were a 4x4 was now parked (no, i'm not david blaine and hadnt made a convertable into a 4x4) we decided;

• I'd either parked it else where, or
• it had been TWOC'd
• infact I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep

after ensuring I hadnt parked it 2 metres away, I decided to phone the police who;

• asked if i had parked it else where
• basically said it had been TWOC'd
• asked if I was david blaine, and I could indeed, make a MG convertable into a 4x4 jeep

After a motivational talk with the police, I decided to call comrad headworth for some support - who decided I was on a piss take and winding him up. After 20 minutes of convincing him other wise we ....

Sunday Service

After a fully deserved all day session on the Saturday, I decided it would be nice to just chill on a Sunday night and refresh myself for the working week. However, things didnt go to plan as Comrad Headworth asked if I fancied a couple of sly beers. I made it perfectly clear, that I would only have a couple as I was due to Team Lead monday with Alison being out (made that mistake on friday and felt like crud). So I agree to meet up with Headders and we walk down to the Jug for a sly pint, then over to the Well to catch the tale end of the Quiz (where we helped out normal quiz team a tad). Rich had some Stella Tokens (collect 4 - get a lovely Stella glass), so after 3 pints of Stella there and watch the ever depressing Newcastle 1 - Fulham 4 match which I'd listened to earlier on the radio and got post match depression. We then visit the infamous Kebabital for more shambolic cheap labour antics where I had chips in pitta bread.

Anyhoo, wandered into work at 9am for a funky management call, to lots of "Newcastle are rubbish", "Haway the lads" and "alreet pet" comments from so called profressional management which set the scene for the rest of the day. Not happy with listening to my beloved team loose to a second rate second division team, I then managed to get Newcastle -v- Man Utd tickets for me and the lovely Philippa, next weekend.

Things on the Canal

Ducks (as per normal) and Traffic Cone

Lounge to Lounge in 12 hours 22 minutes

After thursday nights beer session, and feeling extremely ropey all day friday, it was decided that the weekend would be another chilled out one. John and Debbie were kind enough to ask me to the Lounge for lunch with Laura and her two drunking friends. Its been a while since I've ate in the Lounge - mainly because 2 years ago, it changed hands and the food went down hill. After the refurbish, I thought why not give it another gan. So we did - 13:00 - Pint of Guiness - lush - it felt smooth and like funny tasting ice cream.

I did feel like a little bit of a session, but tried to keep the calm - mainly because John and Debbie together tends to lead me astray - such a shy lad that I am. While we were in the lounge, I noticed one of the lasses who plays football with us on Wednesday - she's lush ... but was eating with a friend, so decided to leave it (and being shy)

After the Lounge and lack of TV for Saturday football, I suggested going to the Hogs Head. We chitchatted, then moved to the Star and Garter, to which we went to Macy's then onto the Sozzled Sausage. Finally onto the bowling green for more beverages. When we get there, there was a fantastic looking lass, someone who is completely out of my league (you know when you wont even get a look in). I've noticed her around ages ago and developed a massive crush. Turns out, the injustice of sexy birds took effect, Nice lass + Meat head = relationship - nevermind hey?!?

Anyhoo, John and Debbie were kind enough to go get Kebab's and Chips for us, and Chang beer. Now, I remember getting a couple of text's from the lovely Jess, but cant remember replying - one of them things, but apparently I did. So we play some dodgy Donkey Kong Konga on my Gamecube, watch the Simpsons that John had recorded from Friday night. To which point, things get a little fuzzy - Ive started to remember (thanks mainly to Debbie reminding me)

• I declared myself as President of the Canal House (declaring John as vice-president and Debbie head of entertainment)
• Loosing my trainers and finding them at the top of a step ladder
• having my crotch hoovered
• and having the use of my legs taken away due to alcohol abuse.

So I wake up on Sunday morning, assuming I'm going to feel like toss, as per Friday - strangely enough, feeling pretty OK - reports are that so do John and Debbie.

BYE THEN Toby!!!!

Our friend Toby decided that he's gonna take 6 months off from IBM and travel around South America. Not content with just leaving us all in misery, he decided he wanted a beer session night named after the event too. Selfish I tell you! Newcastle were playing Tbilisi on ITV2 - so as part of my CSI'ing - I got some cans in and watched that - hooking up with good friends later on in the hogs head. After moving on to the Star and Garter, some of us decided the only way was up with our friends at the Well. After getting in, Toby enters some random drunken state after a pint and can barely stand. Rich (also boozed off his tits) decides that it would be amusing to slap a J20 sticker on Toby's head ( see below )

Toby, pictured centre with J20 sticker - pictured slightly left

Anyhoo ... the night gets a little stranger by the minute, and people decide they are gonna bugger off home (01:05), yet, I, with still half a pint left, decide to stay. I ended up talking to bar staff and regulars while slightly supping my pint. I even had the bollocks to ask a lass out for a drink, but she was to pissed to arrange owt - typical - so let that go. Moment of pure magic, I ask Andy if I can buy a Stella to wash down the Carling - to which gives me a free bottle. Fantastic - pure CSI'ing it, or what. Needless to say, I've had about 3 hours kip, I had to attend a management meeting at 09:00 this morning, then feel like shit all day. Its now 18:30 and still feel dodgy as a kebabital meal.

Good Luck Tobs!

strike it lucky

I've had a bad week - emotionally - dont know why - but monday morning, I should have stayed in bed. Its one of those weeks when you know its gonna be twat on a stick and from the moment I opened my eyes, I knew it was going to be. It was probably stella-fest from the night before, but it was crud - pure crud.

It gets to Wednesday, I'm still feeling a little shitty, low in confidence etc etc - and time for football - one of the highlights of my week. Over the last 6 months, ive taken alot of stress on at work, and its shown in my performance on the pitch and I expected a repeat performance tonight to be truthful.

Anyhoo, turns out I scored three, set up many and played decently well all game and we won. Thats 7 in two weeks, which is good going - esp being labelled "fucking shite at football", by some doncaster student at work. Suprised really, watching doncaster play week in, week out - you would have thought it would be entertaining watching some unfit idiots run around a pitch - oh, we're talking doncaster again.

Summary of the week so far.

Well, nothing much has happened, so thought I would manage to scramble nigh on 3 days into one blog.
Monday.
Worked, struggled to get out of bed after the Stella from the night before. After the post-bolton-v-newcastle-match, I got a text message from one of my dearest and oldest friends Pippa. She lives in Newcastle, I've been mates with her since the 2nd year at comp (no i didnt wear shorts and a cap), she's a lovely lass and my mother has her heart set on me and Pippa getting it together. Although being a very close friend, she is very attractive, albeit, having two cats and smelling of cat wee. Anyhoo - after Newcastle could barely get out of our own half, Pip asked if we could get tickets to Newcastle -v- Man U - so god knows what kind of thrashing we'll get. So I thought I would make a long weekend of it, arrange to meet friends and family etc.

Tuesday.
Struggling to get more than 10,000 steps with my Walker's walk-o-meter - so much so, I spent 10 mins jogging on the spot to get 5,000 steps. Also involves in a dragging day which resulted in me going home, getting ear ache from my mother about not going up over the weekend and watching Teachers (on Channel 4).

Trying to work out what I can do for Xmas and New Year - managed to get some kind of schedule in place
Week before Xmas = Travel to Newcastle
Xmas in Newcastle & Faff around
New Year = In Leam - Next door for fancy dress party - theme yet to be decided, although Kids Film and TV characters seems to be a semi fav. If so, I'm going as Jamie from Jamie and his Magic Torch.
Then 5th Jan = Fly out to Washington (DC - not Tyne and Wear), working out there for 5 days

Wednesday.
Football day, and I'm also struggling to get towards 10,000 steps today - and I class myself as a semi healthy guys (minus the chips, stella and lack of exercise) - I am very tempted to wear my walk-o-meter tonight to see how many steps I do during football. Probably not many as I hand around on the right wing and wait for the ball to be punted at me. Current step level = 1733

A Mess and a Shambles

Rich was kind enough to invite me around to his gaff yesterday for a CSI related football, beer and relaxing sunday afternoon. I didnt really fancy the quiz, nor after spending most of saturday in the well, watching the game down the pub. So in fact it was very lucky the way many events turned out. I thought I would pay my way by getting some cans of Stella in to thank Rich for putting up with my abusive bad language for 2 hours while Newcastle struggled to get out of their own Penalty box. It turns out that Rich had also gone a purchasing Stella and we filled his fridge, getting to the extent where he had to remove all the healthy fruit and veg to get the cans in *****

Anyhoo, to cap off my great mood, Newcastle lost 2-1 to the 2 bob team called Bolton - scrappy game and we deserved at least 1 point out of it. As the Stella flowed, Rich shows me his Xbox and we played Outrun2. I've never played it, boozed up on Stella and in a bad mood - I managed to equal Rich's best performance, and beating his best time on one of the timetrials - which improved his mood. After sinking alot of Stella, I started to get the munchies, so it was decided Pizza is a good option - which it was.

To conclude;

• I achieved 6611 steps
• Newcastle are a fab team, bolton are cheating scum
• 6 stella's is not a quiet night
• 10 quid of Stella and a Pizza isnt CSI
• Rich is very bad at videogames.

***** Warning - no fruit and veg were in there.