Return of the Mac

With the kids swapping training sessions to Friday nights, I decided to return to my 6 til 7 slot for 5aside football. Yes, I've played football since my ankle broke way back when, however I think it was more of a mental thing to return to the same place, same time, same people and continue as life goes on. Yes, my chest was still sore from being elbowed in the ribs, and I think deep down, I shouldnt have really played, but just wanted to get out there. I decided, it would probably be wise just picking my fav position - ie, up front, and without the ability to track back - stay up front.

It did feel good, people were asking if I was ok, and to be honest, my leg was holding out pretty well, even when someone decided to hack my leg to shit to get the ball, I even had a couple of snap shots on goal, and touch wood, meaning my leg is back to full fitness. The chest really impacted my game, and I dont like to be known as the "one who goal hangs" and like to feel I put my effort in within midfield - today just didnt happen. I managed to set up 3 people with a goal and should have scored about 3 within 20 minutes myself - but its one of them days.

I managed to get in on goal and slot the ball between the keepers legs, just as I felt something twang in my muscle. I did warm up properly, but it happens, it was a very cold and damp day and it can happen.

Oh, how I missed the banter, how I missed the laughing. I was talking to my mum and she reckons since I turned 31, I've become a rebel, having never broken anything and in the space of 6 months doing my ankle in and potentially cracking a rib too. Its good to be back.

Ribcage!

Sunday was a fun day .. well actually, no it wasnt. After being woken by my mobile (cell phone to the yanks) at 09:20 and being asked to collect rainjackets for the kids at 10:45 ready for the afternoon, actually getting soaked while collecting the rainjackets and being told "shame none of them fit you, oh, dont you look wet". I got home, managed to get a shower (of all things) and then dry, myself and head coach Pete headed over to Coventry, having our usual team line up discussion in the car, we get to this nice little pokey village where its starting to slowly rain.

Under one tree was the "home" players, under another a group of "away" parents and under a safe umbrella, 16 kids huddling to keep warm - in the distance, a pylon and a railway track. Needless to say, 2 minutes later, thunder and lightening kicks off and no one really knows where to move too - I took the option and stood in the middle of the pitch. I was in a real twat of a mood and decided to only give those kids who didnt have a jacket, a rain jacket - with every intention of giving the rest out after the game. The rain got heavier so got our lads out training, trying to get that pyschological edge over the "home" team who were cowering and praying to someone that they wouldnt end up in Coventry's worse electrical storm. To conclude, the game got called off, I got soaked for a 2nd time.

With not running around like a headless chicken telling 10 year olds to "wake up", "get a grip" and "sort your sham out" I decided to play 5aside football with Captain Pete - it was about time I got some football playing into me - so on the 3rd attempt, I got drenched to the skin, and to make matters even worse - got a swift elbow to the ribs by an opposition player, and felt my rib go inwards. Very strange feeling and completely knocked me for 6 - not only in the mind, but also in speed. We ended up loosing 12-9 or something, but still managed to get a goal - scrappy though it was - decided if ribs are better by Wednesday, I'll play my old stomping ground of 6pm KO as the kids now train on Friday - huzzar!

Welcome to the nut house

As weeks go, the last couple of weeks have been that crazy rollercoaster that you dream about now and again. I ended up meeting up with someone I managed to get a number for a couple of fridays, had a couple of beers, and more beers, then some wine, then some spirits. Of all things I ended up in the local cheesy nightclub (Rios) and accompanied by more alcomohol - next thing I know, I'm getting kissed and told that she quite likes me and would like to go out some other time if I fancied. Well, you know, I'm one of these new men and welcome opportunities such as that and nodded and agreed as she shoved her tongue into my mouth (nice image I know). I have to say, I was a bit suspicious, but thats the kind of person I am - why would anyone like me - I'm just me ... you know

Anyhoo, 4 days later, I was in bed, having a special steve sleep - well trying too - and while hugging onto my special teddybear, my phone went off (time 23:34) to someone in tears asking why I havent been in touch and why I havent asked them out on a date, then a hung up tone. I smile, and rollover and fall asleep. 2 minutes later, the phone goes, and the same thing, at this point, insert the same routine 3 times, til the next time, I get a threat that they're going to "cut" themselves. Now, I'm not a trained specialist in the art of attention seeking, "cutting" or people who need that "special" help, but you obviously do the best you can to calm them down, and convince them, a) I'm really not worth it b) maybe they need some help and c) who would actually clean up the mess. Harsh I know, but my Cubs badge didnt really cover this kind of training, and I really needed sleep. So after 30 minutes of calming someone down, the phone goes dead again - then, as you know that at 18:00 the BBC 6 O'Clock news is about to start, the phone rings again, still to tears. I told her how it was and that she should go to bed, without any blades and everyones happy.

Needless to say - THIS FUCKING SCARED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME!!!!

I was busy the following week, so didnt have a chance to spend time on my own, nevermind entertain, so recieved a text from her and a phone call, with promises that it was a one off - so, like small shrew, I saw the best in somsone again. However this time, questions of where it was "all going" arose, small panic attacks, fist clenching and dragging nails into her own arms - I was ready to tell "Steve's Whitelie" of "Oh, I have to go meet my mate Rich down the pub, he's not very well you know". All of a sudden, her fist connected with my face - needless to say, after counting to 5, I politely asked her to leave, 18 pounds later of Chinese takeaway, I was still receiving text messages of "I've messed up, havent i?"

I know this is a little long, but my point is, where do you go from here - this seriously funks your head up and confidence with women and now can only think I attract a) crazies, b) people who deny they are crazy, but actually are and c) I really cant efford to spend 18 quids worth of chinese takeaway, everytime it happens.

From now ... crazy free town please!

Day off #1

The last time I had a day off, was the Bali trip, since then, I've returned to work and not stopped, so a couple of days off to chill, relax and continue improving the flat isnt too much to ask, is it ? You would think not, however waking up around 10.30 to monsoon style rain over the canal, I decided to turn over and fall back asleep.

After deciding that I needed to do something with the day, I replied to a couple of football related emails, made myself a cup of tea and decided to get ready for a trip to Ikea. Normally a 35/40 minute trip on a good day, why not ?! Well, I knew it was going to be a bad day, when the shower wouldnt run hot, so checking the boiler and 20 minutes later, getting the water temperature I desired.

20 minutes into the car journey up the M6 - I was stuck in tailbacks of around 10 mile, knowing Newcastle United were kicking off around 15:55, I wanted to get back with enough time to get at least a couple of beers inside me. I reached my destination after 2 hours, scooted around Ikea, and returned (via a diversion) at 18:05 - finding out NUFC had win 1-0. In that process, spending around 100 quid on nice funky things for the flat, when in reality, I went for a pair of curtains I could dye! Needless to say, I also managed to pick up norwegian style chocolate, pastry and alcohol - alls not lost then!

Different levels of desperation!

OK, I admit it, mainly before someone else spots it and takes the piss, I joined a dating website. Most of it was because I wanted to see who was out there on the market, and another part of me is fed up with being labelled as tapping people who, then going away feeling guilty about it. Why shouldnt I be "tapping" people up, I'm youngish, I'm alright looking, I'm single, and dont want to spend the rest of my life regretting things.

So, I've done it, I'm not convinced I'll do anything about it, nor am I convinced I'll spend money so I can "talk" to other people looking. But again, thats how I've always been, wait for other people to make the move.

Annoying this is, you can do a search by postcode, ie, who's single and local, and I dont know where the hell these people drink and/or socialise - if I did, I dont think I would be single. However, thats also assuming that they would be interested in such a shambles like myself.

U11 Colts - Match Day #1

You may or may not be aware that I've taken up the management of Leamington Brakes U11 Colts. This is the first season that I've done any type of football management, and also the first time the lads have played 11aside. An interesting combination.

The Colts were the only team playing away from home today against Coundon Cockerels with a 1.30 kick off. This is the first season that the U11 Colts have played 11 aside, and indeed the first time myself, Pete and JJ have been involved in training and coaching kids.

Following the destruction of the one and only friendly that the colts were involved with (9-1 against emscott colts) we played a 5-3-2 formation, with Dan Dyson, David Fairbairn and Matthew Robertson in the centre of defence. Left and Right back were the twins (Gabriel and Isaac Saxton-Knight). Running midfield were Rory Barber (Cpt), Harry Gane and Aidan Bradbury, while Charlie Smith and Wilf Dove played up front and supported by the midfield. Richard "the stopper" Cure was ever present between the sticks.

Playing for the first time on a full sized pitch didnt phase the lads as the back 5 kept strong throughout the first half, with the Brakes going into the first half with a commanding effort with around 3 close chances and the opposition hardly getting a sniff on target. Making subs in the 2nd half (including Julian Loscombe, Nilun Dubay, Zack Wilkins and Thomas Henderson) the Brakes were playing into the sun, however after a number of counter attacks, the lads broke through the Cockerels defence, and Bradbury taking in a strong shot on target and the keeping making a hash of it.

The remaining of the game was 50-50 with it looking like the Brakes were about to get a good away 3 points. However, disaster struck with 2 minutes left and the Cockerels itching through our defence and putting it inches wide of Richard who had a blinding game. Refreshing to see a referee (who was their assistant) having a good game - and being awarded full marks by Leamington Brakes FC.

Final Score :-
Coundon Cockerels 1 - Brakes U11 (Colts) 1 (0-0 HT)

MOM :-
Rory Barber

Summary :-
60 minutes of 120% commitment from the lads and more importantly, playing as a Team.

Man Stroking Cock

Man stroking his cock :- does what it says on the tin

The Magic Number?

Not happy with getting tickets for the Kooks this year, I found that the Magic Numbers were also touring the UK - and playing in Brum at the end of Nov. After doing a quick round of who's in and who's out, I ordered 4 tickets for myself, Andy, Nomes and the lyrical shamster, Bellis. This is something I've been looking forward too for a while, and a band that I certainly watch out for new tracks on itunes and on t'internet. Hopefully they'll play some new material on the tour, and give us the chance to purchase some fantastic stylish tshirts.

4 - the magic number?

Wot No Posting - Update I

After returning from Bali, I had a long weekend up in Newcastle, mainly to see the folks and sister, after all I hadnt been up since breaking my ankle all those months ago. Another reason was Abigail's Christening (Een and Sarah's new baby) back in my home down of Winlaton, and I'd arranged to take Philippa, as she cant drive yet - dur.

Normally when I go up, its all stressful and pressured, I think mainly because I dont go up that often, then I spend the whole time running around, trying to keep everyone happy, but not this time - it was pretty relaxed. I think it was due to still being in Holiday mode, but hey, it was still 5 oC cooler than in Leamington. One thing that didnt change, was my mum harping on about how me and Philippa are perfect for each other and oh, "blah blah blah".

I picked up Philippa as arranged and she looked stunning, she normally does, but this was drop dead stunning. The christening was nice, as far as churches go, and Abigail didnt cry at the ceremony, which is always nice. I bumped into Harry (Een's dad) at the party afterwards, where he harped on about me and Pippa getting it together, then Pippa decided to rate ties in order of niceness, mine coming bottom. I came to the conclusion, doesnt matter what it was, regardless if she does like me like that, I'd always rank bottom - but such as life you know.

We'd arrange to go watch Newcastle play Villareal that afternoon, then go for some beers and relax, however, when we got back to Pip's place, ordered a Pizza, she decided to go for a Powernap and I had to wake her when the football was about to start on channel5. We had a couple of beers, and decided that maybe we should just stay in and watch a movie instead - which we done.

A good long weekend, might actually go back up vr shortly.

Keep on running :: Nike +

I purhcased a ipod nano before I went away on vacation in Bali, and a couple of days later, Apple and Nike released a joint partnership called Nike+. Effectively, its a small device that slides into the base of the ipod nano, the same slot that you dock with your PC, which communicates wirelessly to a small device which slips into the bottom of your Nike+ trainer. The device itself is pretty cheap, at 15 quid, however the expense comes when you have to buy the trainers, which to be fair, I've been after a new pair for a while, so its a small excuse, isnt it ?

I also purchase a Nike+ top, which has an embedded little pocket on the arm that houses your ipod nano, and also includes cable holes, so you're not running around and also strangling yourself at the time.

To calibrate the device, I popped my trainers on and wandered into town a couple of weeks ago, managing about 400metres, however today, managed around 2.18 miles. How do I know this ? Well, when you dock your ipod into the PC, it automatically updates the runs up to T'interweb via iTunes, giving you graphical view of when you slowed down, when you speeded up and updates every mile (or Km if you're metric).

Nike+ :: faster than me, obviously.

The Nike+ application also allows you to setup goals, mine is to run 10 miles in 8 weeks (of which I've done 2.1 miles so far) and it also allows you to challenge other Nike+ users within the same area or same age or same sex.

The Leaderboard function gives you a list of people (per week, per month, or ever) which allows you to drill down per sex, per geo, per age. Currently, out of everyone, I'm 10125th, and in the UK, 786th, and finally, in the UK, between the age of 30 and 39 and male, I'm 268th - impressive.

Cor Blimey Guvnor

Strange that my life gets, lastnight just tipped it off nicely with a cherry. I got invited to play 5aside football with a couple of friends, and after 3 months out of injury and being away on vacation for 2.bit weeks - I thought perhaps it was a good idea to get fit once again. After arriving at the pitch, someone nudged me and said that no other than Ian Beale from Eastenders would be turning up. Of course, I laughed, then sure enough, he turned up, warmed up and was on the opposite team to me!

"Alright me ol' china!?" - Ian Beale, yesterday

Obviously being star struck, I managed to sandwich him between myself and one of his players on my first touch ... it felt good to be back. Adam Woodyatt, who plays Ian, managed to score a couple and put his team well in front, however up to the whistle, we managed to get a couple goals back to make it something like 5-3.

Not making excuses, because I thought I done alright lastnight, and the fact it was hot, and we played for 90 minutes, rather than the 60, I managed to come away without breaking anything - although I think my little finger is out of joint thanks to our celeb friend when I was in goal.

Duff Man - oh yeah!

Well, I'm back from Bali, and within 90 minutes of returning to British soil, I discovered that Newcastle United had signed Damian Duff from Chelsea for 5 million quid. Fantastic news. Hopefully getting to the Villareal game next week with Miss Pippa to check him out and any new signings if we're lucky.

Things that go wrong for me #23

Multimedia message
Originally uploaded by docwharton.

Bad Karma!

Good! Not winking now, oh Boo Hoo Hoo! *

"I miss my best friend Wayne!" - A Cry baby (yesterday) - centre

Fake Tiltshift

I was reading FNM a while back and noticed some guy had taken a number of photographs, and manipulated it so much that it looked they were minature models. With joining flickr, you get to see different types of photography and of course it inspires you to get involved, try different things and learn something new. I had a chat to John about it and he give me a couple of FAQ websites on how to do it, and was even so kind to provide a suggested item of free software that can recreate the perception.

I've never classed myself as an arty type person, I leave this up to the likes of John, Rich and of course, World respected Andy Palin. So I was quite suprised how good it appeared once you understood what the application was trying to do, what to highlight and what to bring into focus.

Bruge - not really that small

The original photo from the above was taken 4 years ago in Bruge, knowing what the buildings looked like anyhow, it was quite nice applying this technique to the photograph and make it appear to be a mininature town.

Ice formations around a fountain.

Not happy with just taking buildings and streets, I've attempted to apply it to objects too with strange but effective results.

The rest of my fake tiltshift online folder can be seen at :-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/docwharton/sets/72157594178594772/

Gaffer - to you!

The meeting I had up at the football club was all a little hush hush, not many people knew what was going on, and even I only knew the basics. I got up there in decent time, said hello to the people I already knew, got introduced to those who I didnt. Thats what I like about the club, its all very friendly, all very family so if you dont know who you're dealing with, someone will introduce you anyhow.

Anyhow, the reason I was there, was they were discussing the junior squad that they were putting out this season, turns out that after speaking to a couple of people about getting involved, that they were looking for a manager and a number of coaches. I've always wanted to do football managent, even got to the level where I was looking at how to do coaching badges. Anyways, I'd been asked if I wanted to get involved in football management with an Under 11's squad, and the talk I had with the Junior board was very positive, appears everyone is in the right direction - and they sold it to me.

We had a little handover from the guy who was currently covering the kids, as he was moving on to a new position, so got a couple of names and ideas, and got asked to attend a training session on Wednesday evening. All very sudden, but all very exciting - so much so I'm pondering creating a new blog for my experience - what do you reckon ?

Driving me to .. er drive!

I've got a meeting at the football club tomorrow, and with the ankle healing up quite nicely, I thought its good time to give that old driving malarky a quick whizz, mainly because the car has been sat in the same place for the last 8 weeks.

I wanted to make sure that the car could actually move, just incase the battery had given up on keeping the slidy doors locked - but hey, it worked well, I had a drive around the block and managed to park it nicely outside my place overnight. Today driving, tomorrow the world!

Driving me to shop!

Today has been planned for a while, shopping in Brum for the holiday - including clothes, technology and accessories. FHM were running a promotion where if you take a voucher you get 20% off - which isnt to shabby really - only thing is it ruined a nice photo Nikki Sanderson on the other side.

After lastnight we were a little knackered and hungover, but we stuck with it - including the heat and we managed to get into the city at a decent time, and started with Selfridges straight away, going out seperate ways, armed with our phones incase we got lost or bored. I headed straight to Ted Baker - spent a fortune in about 5 minutes, while in the same time frame - Debbie spent a small fraction.

I picked up an ipod nano to take away, its so small, you just think its going to break, but its actually fantastic. I didnt want to take my big 40Gb ipod away with me - incase it gets smashed - mainly because it has all my photos and ALL my music, some of which isnt stored anywhere else. Thats my reasoning anyhow, and I'm sticking to it - it does look smart tho.

After approx 5 hours, we got the O'Neills surf shop where we placed the voucher on the desk and the nice Oz guy was helpful to both of us - giving us hints and tips in Bali. As we spent over a certain amount, I also recieved a free surfing lesson which is worth around 80 quid - and 2 1/2 hours in total - just in cornwall. Its valid til december - so you never know - might be a laugh for a long weekend away.

All in all, an exhausting day, but enjoyable. Given a couple more hours, think I could have spent SO much more - so probably wise that we headed home.

Driving me to drink!

John headed off to the magical mystical world that is called Wales for a stagweekend, leaving Debbie to lead me astray once more. We'd promised to have an early night as we'd planned to pop up to the Bullring in Brum to do some holiday clothes shopping.

Once we both mentioned cripsy duck, we had the taste on the tip of our tongues, so it was decided, we'd pop to the home of the sugary god to have a bit of chinese related food. We were going to ask MC to come out, as super gary was away with Mr John, however MC was warned to stay away from good people like us, incase she led us astray.

Once we'd finished our lovely food, we popped down to the Well to watch the 2nd half of a world cup game, and bump into some friendly faces. It was also the Leamington Peace festival, so of course, it was an excuse for everyone within a 25 mile radius to a) not wash for 3 days b) to pull out their hippy clothes from 20 years ago and c) talk about the NHS problems that are faced thanks to the government.

We bumped into a couple of Debbie's students (none of which offered to buy her a drink) who appeared to have social problems, one looking like a serial killer (and gets called that by his mates), one who has tourettes and then finally, one that looks like Chico from the X-Factor. Of course, I had to remind them of this fact - shouting "ITS CHICO TIME" and moving my arms like a clock in front of him.

Fun had by all... shopping tomorrow!

keep on running ...

Today marked the 8th week that I broke my ankle - so what better way to celebrate it, by going out for a small jog / walk. Well thats what the intention was at the start, however it turned out to be a mini marathon. Trying to get myself fit for the holidays is going to be hard, but with eating sensibly (chips and fish fingers in the oven as we speak) and regular exercise (shopping in brum on saturday) I'm sure I can trim up. After a quick text convo with Debbie about if herself and John were out for exercise, I said I would do around a minute jog, then walk, and turn around and let them catch up when they went for a jog. Debbie explained what they would be doing, which involved a warm up walk to the bridge near the asda turn off, then jog to the "grate". On top of that, it was a walk for an extra minute, then jog back to the bridge again - cooling down with a 5 minute walk once again.

Sounds simple, so I started to walk and when they turned their backs and said they were off for a jog, I thought bugger it, lets jog - and I did - infact it was more comfortable than walking, a minute passed and I continued, next thing I knew, I got to the grate which apparently is around 2Km from our house - not bad going for 8 weeks of no exercise. John and Debbie continued for a minute around the corner, and I headed back, walking/limping a little - then when John caught me up, I thought I'd wait til Debbie turned up and jog slowly back with her - although a couple of stops and starts - managed to get back home without breaking anything or my heart leaping outof my body.

Hopefully this has eased my foot up a little more without putting too much pressure on the ankle - but we'll find out tomorrow/friday on that - although my good leg seems to have pulled/strained a muscle - not good.

In your face ebay bidders!!

A cunning plan, so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a fox! What the hell has this got to do with my world - well you see - with Captain Rich not being too great at the moment, and being away from work, I decided to invite him down for a bit of Deal or No Deal and a sandwich and a sociable tinny while I worked a little more. I found that M&S had a nice deal on where you get one sandwich free if you buy another, and knowing that he's a massive fan of steak sandwiches with onions - thought it would put a smile on his face!

The previous night, I asked Rich if he would put a bid in for some tickets on ebay - and in the mix up, we missed it by about 20 seconds - gutted. I done a further search and there were a couple of sets of tickets on going for the next 24 hours - fantastic. So the plan was, get Rich buttered up, so he would put a bid in for me :o). We were discussing this, and it appears that I live in the 18th century, being an ebay virgin (although I do have a user ID) and dont use online banking. I tell you what, nothing like still using pigs and sheep to barter with - safe and you wont get some chavvy idiot stealing your pin number!

Anyhow, appears that we had 2 minutes left to bid for the Kooks tickets that I was after (sold out in 10 minutes apparently) with with a bit of tinkering, we managed to get a higher bid in and win the tickets - having not put a bid in previously. Sounds to be like a scandal really - you can win anything, as long as you put in a last minute bid which is high enough. After all this online-superinternethighway excitement, I managed to convince Rich that he didnt need this money "electronically" and I would write him a nice cheque.

World Cup Madness

Yesterday saw England kick off their world cup campaign over in Germany and you can feel the pressure cooker of passion start to fill up in England of expectation. It was arranged that we all would meet in the pub around the corner as a massive group, cheer on england and have a couple of beers. This did in fact happen, however, with two mini groups on different floors - which was quite nice, as it give an excuse to walk around and be sociable. We tend to use this pub when there are major footballing championships, mainly due to the number of large screens - nothing to do with the locals - honest. We got there around 12:30 ish, myself, Rich, Nomes and Andy P ended up on the top deck, while Debbie, John, MC, Gary, Tom and Abbi were down in the basement. Two years ago, the top deck was packed, however, this year it didnt seem that busy - we came to the conclusion it was down to being a Saturday, being very hot and people staying at home having a BBQ

Kick off came and went - first half was pretty good, second was pretty poor - with England winning 1-0 if you just came back from space.

After the match, I'd arranged to have a BBQ at my gaff, to say thanks to friends for their support after breaking my ankle, so once the BBQ got hot, food started to cook, beer started to flow. Needless to say, John and Debbie got revenge by being the last people there - which was nice to just chill and relax in quiet. Fortunately, there was no "big bloke falling over on patio" or "nomes drinking half a pint of morgans spiced rum" - just chat, laughter, banter, warmth and booze.

Confessions of a 31 year old - part one

I've just been watching "The Hits" channel on the digi-foofoobox and after a couple of 80s tracks from Spitting Image & Star ship, Sonia came on. Way back when (and pleased my sister doesnt read this t'interwebblogpage) I used to like Sonia, and I thought she was pure talent, thanks to Stock, Aiken and Waterman, and my sister used to take the piss everytime I listened to my records. My sister suggested that I fancied her, and I would blush whenever Sonia was on top of the pops or the such like. With fantastic tracks such as "Listen to your heart", "Better the devil you know" and "You'll never stop me from loving you"

Sonia - Listen to your heart

Needless to say, after all these years, I confess, I fancied Sonia. Reckon she's still out there, somewhere, stunning, single and interested.

Future confessions to follow, maybe...

Hey Dr Nick!!

During the 5aside football, I recieved a phone call from a colleague from downsouth, Dr Nick, saying he was in Leamington over night (probably wanting water due to their drought) and wondered if I wanted to go out for a couple of beers.

Dr Nick isnt in fact a doctor, but it makes a nice change from cabinboy and captain - so lets go with that theme. Nick is a nice chap and we've spent alot of time on the phone talking about this, that and t'other - so thought it would be nice to get out and about, and try my newly fixed ankle with the big bad world.

"Hello Everybody!"

I managed to walk from my flat down to the Well without the use of my crutches, which on a good day is about a 10 minute walk with the wind in the right direction. By the time I got to the bar, the back muscle was throbbing and pulling, nowt like pushing yourself a little too far hey!

Rich and Aido were already stood at the bar, so had a bit of a chat with them, had a couple of pints and decided that Chinese was the way forward, so a little light headed, we went to the nice posh Chinese just around the corner. We ordered duck pancakes, and a couple of main meals that we shared, and of course, Chinese Beer.

After we chinwagged, ate and paid the bill, we returned back to the Well, for a couple more, then sensibly called time when last orders were called (well, Nick called time, technically) and stumbled back home. A good night, nice to get out, nice to have peking duck too - mmm

Cast off!

Debbie, my very nice Neighbour, took me over to the Hospital for my 6 week check on my ankle and trying to be a little positive, I packed my right trainer into my bag, but also expecting the worst too. Once we arrived, we sat in the waiting room and nattered about random things, including Debbie's weekend away at the hen-party with MC (who is special, apparently) and my trip to Sheffield.

I was expecting an Xray, however the woman who puts on and takes off casts came out and announced my name - this was looking good. There was a young girl who was waiting outside in the corridor peering in the room and just jokingly, I made out it was painful and that the woman was sawing my leg off - to which, this girl got very scared - whoops, sorry. The woman said after she'd take the cast off not to put any weight on it at all, of course, being a good boy, I listened and done as I was told.

I then went to see my Lion style doctor, Mr Aslan, who asked me if I was ok, to which I said yes, where his reply was OK, we'll sort you some physio. Not complex this medicial specialist malarky really is it ? Anyhooo, the lovely Physio Kate came to see me, asking me to "Par..." to which i asked, "Party?" where in fact she meant "Partially". We had a bit of banter, carry on and flirt, while Debbie just shook her head at me. Kate ( the lovely physio - did I mention she's lovely) give me some exercises to do with my ankle, told me how to use the new crutches and answered questions on what exercise I can do, and arranged an appointment for 3 weeks time to update each other. I managed to get this down to 2 weeks, to see if I could step up to some jogging before my holidays in 6 weeks time, rather than just swimming etc etc, she accepted the offer - yay.

An all round entertaining day with random chaos really. When I managed to get home (via Somerfield) I managed to discard the crutches and start walking around and do the foot exercises, then recieved a text from John O asking if I wanted to go watch the guys play 5aside football over in Warwick.

Bank Holiday Monday

Traditionally, Bank holiday mondays are for DIY, digging the garden, and painting that shed that you've had out the back garden for years, which is surrounded by 3 foot tall grass. However, after wasting the last couple of weekends due to the British Summer, something was called for, something different.

Luckily, it just so happened that Jon Adams (Leamington FC attacking and skilled footballer) was called up to the England squad. Rather than the 11aside world cup squad, he'd been called up to the Futsal England squad. Yes, Futsal, not football, you heard me correct, I wasnt talking in tongues. The Futsal squad were (and are) playing in a 3 day compo, including other teams from Belgium, Cyprus and Belarus - all based around the Sheffield Sports Institute. Monday's game consisted of Belgium v Belarus (the latter winning by some goals to alot).

Now, the rules werent exactly clear to anyone on the motorway when we discussed it in the car, at one point, fairy cakes, ewoks and elvis were mentioned, but once we turned up, and started watching the game, it became a little clearer. For example

• The 'keeper can only have the ball for 5 seconds, unless he goes over the halfway line, and then he becomes an outfield player.
• 20 minutes each way, however when the ball goes out of play, the clock is stopped.
• Throw ins and corners have to be taken in 5 seconds, or goes to the other team
• Once you reach 5 "team foul points" each foul after that becomes a penalty - this value being reset at half time
• Each team can have 1 time out per half, for 1 minute at a time
• Rolling subs can be used at any time, making sure that there are always 5 players on the pitch
• There are two refs on the pitch - no linesmen - and one "daddy ref" who appears to control the board.
• Its played on a court - not a pitch - apparently.

Now, thats all clear, isnt it ? well it was to us too, once we echoed the rules around the stand three or four times, and 10 minutes later, JJ still said "look, theres two refs and no linos". It all appeared to be a different type of football, apart from the rules, but wasnt as rowdy as a normal 11 aside game, probably because its in doors.

Anyhow, back to the game, Jon Adams came on in the first half for about 5 minutes, and managing to have a good run around, understanding the game and scoring a fantastic goal on his debut, just before being sub'd - which was a bit of a shame. In second half he was brought back on again, and once again had a good run around, proving that his 11aside ball control can be transfered to an indoor pitch.

Mr Adams - Ball skill master

The final score was 5-5 and England were unlucky to win, but it was a fantastic experience and good day out. Was also good to see and support Mr Adams, was also good to get talking to his Dad, Mr Mr Adams. Sadly, the following two games of the compo are today (tuesday) and thursday, so I wont be able to anymore of the games.

Drought? What Drought?

When I popped around to Rich's the other day, there was an article on Sky News about some drought in the south, due to lack of rain. Now May has been a bit of a strange month, 3 days of stunning weather, followed by about 3 weeks of near constant rain.

After a weekend of rain, flooding is starting to occur, so if anyone from "darn sarf" wants some water, I'm willing to sell by the bucket load - say, 10 quid a bucket ?

" 22 boxes, only one question - deal, or no deal?"

I've enjoyed watching the channel4 quiz show deal or no deal over the last couple of weeks. Its one of them shows that a mate gets you into, and you pass it on, and I thought for a laugh, I'd try to get us on the show as part of the audience. Its recorded in Bristol, so thought it would be an ideal opportunity for myself and Rich to pop down and see Captain Blunty and make a weekend of it - seems as we havent had a chance to get down there yet.

I filled the forms out that they automatically send back, and emailed them to the correct address - and within about 10 mintes, I had a reply from a very helpful and friendly Audience Coordinator (Zoe) stating that we're on the list for the 3rd series, in Sept / Oct - Brilliant.

On a bit of a mission, I thought I'd ask for signed photo of Mr Edmonds, so sent a very nice begging letter off to the (we hope) so lovely Zoe to ask for a couple, one for me, one for Rich. I recieved a reply stating that they are not given out WillyNilly and that only because I'd asked very nicely, she'd send me out a couple. I have to say, when I told Rich, we were both a bit sceptical, but true to her word - they turned up this morning, a little wet, but looking fantastic.

Got to see if I can get a fluffy a5 frame now to ensure that its looked after correctly.

"Hello Noel"

Next on Steve's random plan, getting Joe Pasquale's autograph from "the price is right".

NY WIFI IN CP?

In the words of Collapsed Lung's song, Interactive;

time, time to get technical, no need, no need to get personal, could be
virtually in invirtual, be interactive.

Turns out that Central Park in New York City is to become wireless area for laptops, PDAs and even gaming systems such as the PSP and DS. If the yanks can do this for free, whats stopping the UK doing it, however, will Central Park be sponsored by AOL or Microsoft as part of the deal. Anyways, you can read more on T'interweb (not free) here :-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4988792.stm

Cup Final : Sad way to end a fantastic season.

Tonight we played Barwell in the cup final up at Walsall's Bescot stadium. We'd previously thrashed Barwell in the league 4-0 so there was alot of optimism and banter going around the message boards and mates when you speak to them on MSN. I was lucky enough to have, once again, John and Debbie drive me up and we made it in good time, got to the ground and the pitch looked nice, something that could help us have a good game.

Once we started getting into the ground, the noise was massive, mainly down to the elite club that is known as the North Bank, this time purched on the back row of the stadium and the volume just catapulted to the rest of the ground. Captain Pete then started the "you've only got one leg" chant, to which I blushed a little and we happily joined them at the back.

The team lined up, and the North Bank chanted each of their songs, then went on to "Clap your hands if you went to Merthyr" which frustrated me (post to be added) along with "We saw Rich's c**k" aimed at Richard Adams who was the team ringer in Wales and on the pitch for support.

At kick off time, Barwell set their stand out pretty obviously, taking out one of our players on their first "touch" along with shirt pulling, elbowing. However, this is something that the Brakes doent adjust very well, but we continued to chant, sing and clap, much to the unamusement of some of the "fans" around us. We conceded a sloppy goal, taking us into halftime, where we gradually managed to get a grip on the game, and the break coming a little too early for us.

The second half started a little better, with the Brakes getting into the game a little more however after 60 mins we conceded yet another sloppy goal taking it to 2-0. We managed to claw back a goal after 70 minutes, and the game was there to be won really. There was a sense of urgency, then the sucker punch of a Barwell player going down in the box, with a comedy dive, and then of course, 3-1 came from that. This got the Brakes's backs up a little and the volume lifted even higher than you would think was possible, where there was quiet parts to the stand, was now lifting. Hands started to clap, feet started to stamp and fans started to sing, however, this wasnt enough, and the final whistle was blown.

The players clapped the fans, the fans clapped the players louder, however when the Barwell players went up to get their winning medals, the Brakes fans sang even louder to droan out the Barwell fans. The only time the Barwell fans were noticed, was when their three goals went in, apart from that, it was complete silent support from them.

Well done to the team, well done to the fans.

Worst Day - EVER!!

I woke up this morning, feeling very dodgy - I'll spare you the details - its for the best. My eye sockets were constant pain, and as the day dragged on, mainly due to meaningless meetings, I worked out, round about now, I should be on the road up to Newcastle, getting ready for Shearer's testimonial. Yeah, its on ITV4 tonight, but its not the same as being in the stadium, surrounded by 52,000 other geordies chanting and shouting at Shearer. Its not the same as being there with Philippa a life long friend who tried to help out.

So, I suspect that I'll stay in, with part wine, part nurofen cheering in my black and white top, snuggling up on the sofa, rather than being in a crowded stadium then heading back to see the folks and my sister.

My sister, dad and friends are looking out for a couple of testimonial programmes so I can pass on to Mike and Tom H, but most importantly, my dad managed to get hold of a Shearer limited edition bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale for me. Sounds like they havent even released them outside the region, so chances of getting them in the West Midlands are next to nothing.

My Dad phoned lastnight to ask if I wanted the BBC 1 (Tyne and Wear only) prog of Shearer recording onto VHS. I dont have a video player, so will have to see if Mr John next door can rip it off and encode it onto DVD - or sit there watching it myself ;o) Failing that, trawling thru bittolerant to see if they have it on there - heres hoping.

No football, so rugby will have to do

Lastnight was due to be the cup final between Leam FC and Barwell up at the bescott, due to weather reasons this was called off and with the up and coming 6aside compo in Wales this weekend, I suggested a meet up and a couple of beers. I initially suggested bottom of Leam, mainly because it meant I could get there, but then received an email from Mr Vince asking if we wanted to go over to Rugby and he'd pick me up.

Now, after living down here for, well, 8 years now, I've never been to Rugby yet, and pretty ashamed of it, seems as its not too far. I thought why not, be a good laugh, and there was mention of real ale too, so as directed met Vince at the correct time on the street and sure enough, they were on the dot. After a brief introduction to Pete (scary stalking lad) and "headbutt pete" we were on our way to Rugby. We were given rough directions to the pub of "behind M&S", of course, we didnt know where M&S was, so we just drove towards the town centre - within minutes we were there at the Merchants.

I was introduced to a couple of the Rugby leam fans, turns out that their Rugby Town club turned on the fans and treated them badly, so they went to find a new club, and that turned out to be the Brakes. Fair enough and they all turned out to be nice chaps too, although, expecting to be heading up to the Cup Final, they'd been in the pub since 3pm, so were a little on the drunk side. A little later, the lovely Liz turned up and the guys started to swarm around her, I blinked and had around 4 pints of "Jarrow Ale" which was very nice, but went straight to my head.

We managed to sort out tactics out, Reddich Adams will be playing up front, and we're packing the midfield and defence with beefy lads. Beyond that, nothing made too much sense, and the Rugby lads started to sing drunken football chants, getitng louder and louder, with some of the "locals" getting a bit miffed. This egged the Rugby lads on a little more and started to sing "its all gone quiet over here" while picking up a little more volume. In the end, the barman came over and warned them - great, first time in Rugby and asbo'd straight away.

After a quick call, I entered a real ale based coma, waking up around 9am, ready or work - really do hope today is going to be quiet.

back to the NWG

I've never claimed to be a nice person in the morning, even tho I used to work in a Newsagents on a Sunday morning - I learnt through experience, I'm a late riser. Oncall with work certainly drummed it into me, so when I promised to help out at the New Windmill ground again, and told that they were starting at 8am, I was in a little shock.

After making a cup of tea, having a nice bath and dressed, I was in the car again back to Leam FC's ground. When I got there, the rest of the organisers were in the kitchen making tea, coffee and bacon sandwiches - and after the two bottles of wine lastnight, when they asked if I wanted a sandwich, I jumped at the chance to soak the booze up.

I got a little more involved today, writing out cards for the games, and to be honest, thats about it, but it was getting a little brighter, so armed with my iPod I was able to chill out, watch slightly older lads play in compos against each other.

Lunch turned up and we were offered more free tea, and free burgers from the burger bar, along with chips - which was nice, considering. I had a chat with one of the organisers and they said that they reckon to raise about 2K for club over the two days - which can only be a good thing.

After the last final was played, it was agreed that the organisers (including kids and adults) would have a knock around. Me being in my situation meant I couldnt get too involved so said I would referee, this lasted about 3 minutes til the novelty of hopping around wore off, so one of the official refs took over. Meanwhile, someone was away cooking sausages (free again) and we had a nice quiet pint and chattered.

A long heavy weekend, but made a lot of new friends and felt that I was accepted by a community. Have to say that the kids that were helping to organise the event, were good as gold (christ, I am getting old with phrases like that) and even helped me out. They have it all to do again next week, however with Wales on the Saturday, I doubt I'll turn up for the Sunday session - at some point, everyone needs a bit of special time.

Helping out at the NWG

With the premiership and noneleague football finished on saturdays, I was at a bit of a loss on what to do today. A heavy late night lastnight, meant sleeping and getting out of bed just after midday - lazy you may think, but well deserved after a cruddy week.

Leam FC was holding a 6aside compo and I'd said I would get up at some point to show face and hopefully show alittle bit of focus for the master plan I mentioned a couple of weeks ago on here. I managed to scrounge a lift up there - just as it was starting to rain, so well timed, and got introduced to members of the club who I know, but not to speak to - so it was nice to get involved.

A couple of the players had turned up to referee and help out, as well as some of the fans, but it was nice to see the club putting something back into the community. With being on crutches, I felt a little left out and unable to help, apart from stand there, watch the kids play football and keep out the way. I spoke to one of the guys who is one of the youth managers, and my 5aside friend Mick had mentioned I was interested in coaching. It was good to catch up with Kev, and he said they were looking for another coach for the Under 9's and would mention me in a meeting on Wednesday coming, but didnt see it being a problem. This brought a smile to the face straight away, being involved in something, even tho I've never done it before - see it as a challenge tho.

By 5.30/6pm the last final of the day was played and it was time for the organisers to chill out and relax with a pint, and thats probably the most I done all day - downed 2 pints of "xxxx". I managed to get a lift home and put my feed up and relaxed, watched TV and got into the rut of having a bit of a late night. I'd said I would help out again the next day, albeit in a "standing out the way and not annoying way" type of help

Legends * (warning, only includes 4 legends)

In true channel 5 style, they managed to destroy what would normally be a good idea, and entertaining show, by placing 3rd rate presenters and contestants. Tonight was the football legends of England and germany playing against each other at Readings stadium - fun you may think ?

The show went into great depth about the clashes between England and germany and was interesting, then when the game started, the England team consisted of a couple of Legends, and them some celebs and sportsmen from different areas of sport, of which England had 3 x number 11s (the idea being that the players picked their own favoured positions and numbers).

After 10 minutes, the first player came off, with a sub replacing him, the swapped player harped on how hard it was and difficult it was against the germans (who at this point were already 1-0 up). The germans looked like the were gel'ing well together, and it turns out, that they go on tour and play football together alot, where as England, managed by Monkey's Heed Peter Reid, hardly spoke to each other.

The game was more or less was given to germany, but a moment of comedy genius and excellent sportsmanship provided entertainment to millions - Boris Johnson, taking out a German by running him down "bull style". Maybe he's our answer to England's Rooney problem. Anyhooo, have a scan for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA

Cast away, in 4 weeks!

Today marked my second visit to the nice fracture at Warwick Hospital - where I was hoping to get the damn cast off. I know it was looking on the brighter side of things, but at the back of my mind, I'm thinking two weeks to full recovery is probably nigh on impossible. Debbie was kind enough to take me over for the 14.30 appointment and we got there in good time, checked in and sat in the waiting room - along with the other 45 people. There was a good mixture of people in the waiting room - old, young, normal looking, funny looking, happy and sad people - so, to skip the time, we took the piss.

After an hour, my name got called by a nice looking nurse and she led me to the xray room - unsure what was happening, she got me on the bed and set my leg up for an xray, without the cast coming off - I was a little confused to say the least. 10 minutes later, she handed me the xray and pointed us in the towards the specialist corridor.

After a small wait, we were invited back to Doctor Aslan's room, just previous to that we managed to get a sneek preview of the xray and couldnt see anything. The good old Doctor confirmed that the healing was going well, and then expected him to say, "cast off - take care". We talked a little, he asked what I'd been up too - so I told him that I've packed myself full of milk to build up the calcium - to which he laughed, alot. So much so, he couldnt keep a straight face when he handled the xrays. He in turn packed me off to the plaster department, to get a new cast placed to replace this old skanky looking one.

Twenty minutes later, the plastering nurse was taking a drill to my foot, and promised that I wouldnt be cut, or have my leg hacked off accidently. Fair play to her, she was right, however, she then ended up cutting half of my leg hair off. Due to the colour of my toes the last couple of days, I half expected the colour of my foot to be the same, so ended up taking my camera to record the evidence, however was a little disappointed when the cast eventually did come off. All that was there was normal skin colour, and my foot still a little swollen up, and within minutes the next cast was on and drying.

All that happens now, is 4 weeks worth of sitting around waiting til it fixes itself, assuming on top of that - a couple of weeks of physio. Which in theory gives me about 6 weeks to walk, jog and swim before holiday. Fingers crossed, that gets me up to the world cup finals and off with it - so I can get around pretty freely.

Nothing to play for??

With 5th place sorted out, and last game of the season, you'd think we wouldnt have anything to play for. Leam FC payed host to Loughborough Dynamo as the final game of an already impressive season by anyone's standards, what with an FA Cup first round place, a very good run in the FA Vase, a Cup final in a couple of weeks time against Barwell, doing very well in the league at the start of the season.

I'd missed the away Barwell League game on tuesday, sadly, however reading the reports, it appeared that it was a fantastic night, and gives us the lift before the cup final against the same team.

The first half against the mighty dynamo was good, we could have scored a couple and had it sorted by the half time whistle, but we had to settle with just the one, and Leam do it the hard way. The 2nd half was a slightly different story, but more or less the same tale that we saw at Westfields a couple of months ago, where we just lost the formation and lost the control and flow. There were a number of moans and groans from all areas of the ground, but this just made the opposition stronger and stronger and by the final whistle we were 3-1 down.

The goal keeper was being given a bit of abuse from the North Bank, as they do with most keepers - its all a bit of banter, sometimes it gets a bit serious, but hey, its football. At the final whistle went, the keeper cheered loudly and was given even more banter - suggesting that they had won a cup, or the league, or something, in reality, they got 3 points, nothing more, nothing less. As the ground started to empty, the Keeper came over to me, and I expected a punch or something when he opened his mouth, I was assuming he was blaming me for the banter, or picked up on something I'd said.

Refreshingly enough, he asked what I'd done to my leg, told me a story about him doin the same thing, told me to be patient and patted my back and sent me on my way. We were all a bit gobsmacked, I dont know if he was mixing me up with one of the players or was just being genuinly nice - was nice tho, much to our amusement!

The brotherhood of the North Bank came over to speak to me, to ensure he wasnt taking his frustrations out on me, which was nice too, but told them the story and they laughed, then went to grab booze, where as we left to go back home, to find out that Pompey had stayed up, thanks to some fine silky football from NUFC.

Zutons, Calcium & Sainsbury's

I was kindly invited to sainsbury's to get some weekly shopping, and this time, John, Debbie and I were joined by Laura. After picking up Laura from somewhere out west, Debbie skidding on Laura's lawn, we were on our way.

Turns out Laura is one of these Super Shoppers, as it appears that as soon as we got there, she used her Shop-time-machine to complete her shopping and she was waiting patiently for us to complete ours. By the time I picked up my wheel chair, wheeled around the veg department, and the entertainment department, it was looking more likely we needed a bigger trolly.

I picked up The Zuton's new album on my wheeling, and turns out its absolutely fantastic, although my other purchase "the producers" on DVD wasnt so fantastic. But, you live and learn by these experiences, and move on from them. Packing the trolley with enough calcium to grow new bones altogether, and enough ready meals that would last a nuclear war, we were well on our way to the alcomohol department. I tried to be a little independant, by grabbing my own beer, including a bottle of wine, 2 bottles of american beer, and a bottle of Cat Whiskers (a real ale - not actually a drink made out of cat's whiskers). On the way back to join John, I accidently dropped a bottle, well it rolled from between my legs. Have to say, being in a wheel chair, you can get away with almost anything, with me apologising, and the sales assistant telling me not to worry. I really wasnt, I was more embarressed by the fact I'd done it in front of a stunning blonde who I'd had my eye on, couldnt happen any other funking time, could it !?

After picking up the medicinal ice cream we managed to get to the checkout and pay pretty quickly. On the way back, we discussed our purchases, only to find out that I was chuffed with my album purchase, John was sitting on a massive bag of compost, and Laura was over the moon with her pumpkin seeds.

See, shopping days REALLY can be fun!

Broken Happy Friday

John picked a project up, which consisted of recording using the medium of photography, the indepth passage of a curry. So to help him along his way, myself, Debbie, John, MC and Super Gary ended up in a curry house, not far from where we live. This was quite an achievement, mainly because it was the first Friday that I've been out since I knackered my knee up, although I went out with Rich the other night, this is the first time I've sat down with a meal, and stayed out all night - all quite exhausting.

After the evidence of the starter, drinks and main meal, the curry house ended up geting packed out with emo kids (not chavs like Super Gary thought). Now Emo's (not the birds thats emu) to me, its a bit of a poor man's goth, you know, you do the dressing up, but you really dont make the effort to apply the makeup. I suppose the only real difference is the colour of the clothes, ie, there is some colour and its not just black.

Anyhow, Super Gary got a bit scared of the crowd, so we convinced he and MC to come to the Jug for "one" beverage, while I went looking for some attention from some fit lasses. We managed to get a small table next to the window, so was nice, esp with the light nights, but I was really hoping that the beer garden was going to be open - a little optimistic I reckon. This is also the first time I've worn jeans in about 10 days, so I was a little confused, luckily a pair of my jeans had been ripping slightly at the bottom of the leg, so rather than cutting a new / old pair, I was able to wedge the material around different angles.

Yes, I did fancy a bit of attention, and was egged on to go find it, however, what I wasnt expecting was the Jug's landlord coming over asking questions, with his fantastic tash. A nice bloke, but just not what I was looking for in terms of attention seeking. Anyhoo, MC and Super Gary didnt want to drink too much as they were going for a jog in the morning, however, 3 bottles of wine later, MC entered her usual point of the night, where she's either vr quiet, or vr loud, her head dances a little then ends on Gary's shoulder before her eyes glaze over.

I was worried about getting back, esp after a bottle of wine and a pint inside me - however, with the medium of alcomohol, we were able to get back in about 15 minutes. I was feeling a little drunk, so decided to watch a bit of TV, and managed to get a good 45 minutes of the London Carling Festival, which was fantastic - although did eventually need sleep before I entered my coma on the sofa.

Booze or No Booze [ ? ]

You'll have to excuse the two links to a story here .. but they do meet in the middle, somewhere, I think, well I'm sure of it. Rich has got me into the quiz game show, Deal or No Deal, and find it pretty relaxing, so been catching it when I can, when I'm not busy, or clocking off early. The format is pretty good, and to me, its a case, if you get on the show, its free money - not really using the brain cells as such.

Hello Noel!

Anyhow, Rich popped down and helped me get down to TJs for a couple of sly beers - between the two of us, we had enough crap to deal with, so we give up and buggered off to the pub. We went for TJs, as it was easiest to get too and have a quick and quiet beer - and take it from there. It was nice, it was also the first beer that I've had since Sunday, and the 2nd for about 10 days - which is pretty good going. I promised myself that I wouldnt get lardy while I had a cast on due to lack of exercise, so trying to stay away from booze and doing situps when and if I can.

Anyhow, after TJ's beer, we went over to the Well to see our old bar staff friends, and had a couple, we got talking about Deal or No Deal (see, there is a link) and managed to make up a new related spin off game, Booze or No Booze. Rather than money, you get booze, so, you invite x number of friends around and place a bottle of something in a box, mix them all around. The smallest prize consists of a pint of water, then you go up to lemonade, diet coke, full fat coke, getting to stronger and/or more expensive beverages - a nice bottle of champers for example, as the top prize.

Anyhow, at the thought of this, we couldnt stop laughing, and then had another spin off game, bird or no bird, but then the walls of reality started to crumble and I dont think either of us made any sense at all. We wandered back to TJs for a final pint, talked to a lovely lass at the end of the bar about my war injury, and watched the final minutes of the 2nd champions league semi final. Although it wasnt late, and because it was the first "session" for a while, I was a little blah, so crutched it back home, taking around 25/30 minutes (when it normally takes about 5 minutes). Starving that I was, I bunged in a "toad in the hole" in the oven, managing to talk to someone on MSN, thinking it was them, turns out it was her brother, so tried to fix things by texting, and making things worse by taking the piss out of her boyfriend. To make things even worse, I went to get the food and burnt my thumb on the boiling fat from the food - it hurt.

Toe Panic

One of the things that the male nurse said to me when he put the cast on, was that if the toes start to go blue, come into the hospital to get checked out. I've never broken any bones before, so this is complete trial and error to me. I'm not going to give you the sob story about being single blah blah blah, I admit, its not easy, but I like being independant, but do miss company. Anyhoo (oh, a while since I've said that) yesterday around 4pm, my toes started to go a funny colour, part of me thought its just dust, or muck, part of me thought about them becoming bruised, but seemed strange that my toes bruise when its my ankle.

I sent Debbie a text asking if she had the time, if she could take me over to A&E - you know, just for some reassurance, and I think I'm at that point of life, where I'm getting old and sensible. Normally, I would have shrugged it off, and maybe have gone down to the pub instead - then think about getting chips. Debbie was on her way back from WeightWatchers (tm) and called me to find out what was wrong. I explained the situation and agreed that I should go over (accompanied by John), although this was putting John and Debbie's jogging night off.

Once we got to A&E, I checked in, as it were, and then we waited, and waited and waited - well for approx 45 mins (missing Hollyoaks - damn it). Once I got to see the nurse, she confirmed it was bruising, and it was OK, and just to keep my foot upright. At this point A&E was full of attractive, but broken young women, so we left and went back home. A couple of hours later, my toes had gone to a new level of black and blue - and not very pretty. I apologised to John and Debbie plenty of times for wasting their time, mainly because I didnt want the humour starting to wear thin. Anyhow, I still have all my toes, even tho they are currently fat, round, black and blue, thanks to the swelling - but better to be safe than sorry. I do like my toes, even if no one else likes them.

Wheelchair fun around sainsbury's

Fun around Sainsbury's last Thursday

oh hollyoaks - you know, those people from the tele.

The long awaited Leam Youth Squad v Mersey TV (including people from hollyoaks) was kicked off today. It was a charity event in the aid of the MacMillan fun, on behalf of the Major Of Leamington, and it was expected to be the biggest crowd of the season, on top of Leam v Warwick and the FA cup qualifier - way back when.

Once again, Debbie drove myself and John up and we got there just a lil before kick off. The place was occupied mainly by the younger range of females, and some regulars like us trying to cheer on the town's football club.

The first half ended goaless and we ended up popping into the club house for a sly beer and a chinwag with the lovely Liz and the not so lovely Vince (well, he's a bloke). We had Brake Fluid - and this being the first drink for a week, went straight to the head - mainly because of the painkillers. The second half kicked off, and John and Debbie left me chinwagging with one of the chaps from work, explained how the ankle had buggered up, then joined John and Debbie at the Harbury Lane end.

This went to Pens (Leam going 1-0 up, then the "stars" being given a penalty which was very suspect - esp when the guy was going in the opposite direction. The stars ended up winning 5-4 on pens, or something - but anyhow, I ended up taking some photos.

I thought the lads done very well, based on the fact that they were playing older guys and them being TV stars. Some of the stars were swearing and we reminded them that there were young impressionable people around - like me :o)

Bye Bye Mr Shearer

I was talking to my old school mate, Philippa, yesterday via Text. She's a radiologist up in Newcastle, and often sees the NUFC squad down her corridors. Pippa was the person who managed to get me tickets to Shearer's testimonial, so thought it was only fair to text her and let her know as much as I could about my injury.

When I got the text message she mentioned that Mr Shearer was in the hospital awaiting a scan from one of her colleagues - however, from Pippa's description, "He looks fucked". Needless to say, the papers were covered with stories about Shearer retiring.

Legend - pure and simple.

When I eventually woke up today, there was a statement on the unofficial NUFC webpage saying that the great man has officially retired from playing professional football. By all accounts, the interviews that I've seen today, he's trying to get fit for some kind of appearance in the testimontial next month. Good luck to the chap, he's been a complete legend for Newcastle, England and the Premiership. Just a shame he was unable to finish the last 3 remaining games of the season. Sir Alan, I take my cap off to you!

Hotdog, Jumping Frog, Alvechurch-y

With being either in my flat, or hospital, I was desperate to get out and get some fresh air, regardless of where it was. Thursday nights tend to be football free, however Leam FC had to play a previously posponed game up at Alvechurch, approx 35 minutes drive away from home. It sounded like a great idea, a football game, not to far, so if it did rain, or I was exhausted, we could come back with pretty much ease. We invited MC along to her first Leam FC game, and sure enough, the roads were clear enough, we got there 5 minutes later than expected - with the game already up and running, 1-1 was the score (I thought it was 0-0).

Captain Simesy was there on Wedneday night the accident happened, so came over and spoke to me - it did look like it was going to rain, so when I mentioned I needed to keep the cast dry, he invited me up to stand / sit with the "North Banker's". These were a group of friendly chaps, who stand behind the goals at the home games, and start alot of the singing - and personally speaking, the heart and soul behind the fan base. They'd already started with one song, "ONE leg, He's only got one leg, he's only got one leg, ONE LEG!" and "He's got a leg that can be used as a goal post".

When I went to join them up some old stone steps, every time I jumped with one leg, they "BOING'D" like Zebedee from the magic roundabout. All very amusing and in good taste, and I continued to watch the game from a fantastic position at the back of the stands, talking to the guy who does the filming for the Brake's (no pun intended) Videos.

We cheered the players on and ended up coming away with a vital 3 points, moving us nicely for a 5th position finish in the league. We made our way back to the car, however forgetting it was on a gentle bank, but on crutches, felt like a mountain - but made it. Once we got back, my shoulders, chest and arms were red raw with blood rushing around my body. However this meant that I would get a good night sleep, certainly after all this adventure over the last couple of days.

Going back to hospital - already

Thursday morning saw a return to Warwick Hospital, this time, the fracture clinic, and the next desk away from A&E. Sadly no sign of the foxy doctor that dealt with me the night before, however, you'd really expect her to be tucked in bed after potentially a huge shift. We got there a little later than the 09:05 appointment, mainly due to the fact that it takes about 3 times as long to do anything with a cast and a set of crutches. Luckily Debbie was on vacation for half term, however, I did feel guilty that she'd basically dropped her holiday to help me out.

Once we did get there, the "everyone wants to be a comedian" continued with OAP's trying to be funny, and then a 20 minute wait. We got to speak to the specialist (Dr Aslan - no, not the Lion from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - much to Debbie's amusement) who said he wasnt happy with the Xray - something to do with breaking that bone, meant that you put pressure on another bone and that breaks too. He cut open the cast open and the foot was still swollen, mentioned a possible operation, larger cast and even longer to return to "action".

He packed me off to teh Xray department once again, this time to get a full leg Xray - this wrecked as I had to twist and turn the knee and foot so the Xray lady was happy. Back off to the specialist with new Xray in hand, he still wasnt happy, so decided to wrap my foot around in a cast again and get me back in 2 weeks time. This gives the swelling a chance to reduce and maybe a little bit of healing. He give me a cast that I could "stand" on when I go to the toilet - but I was still not to put any pressure on. I started to take the painkillers then and there, and we set off towards Starbucks next to Sainsbury's to get some brunch, with us being up so early.

With a cup of tea, sandwich and muffin inside of us, we decided to have a wander (hop) around the shop to get supplies til the weekend. I'd gone to customer services and managed to get a wheel chair - much to Debbie's amusement, and not to the sales assistant, who couldnt understand why Debbie was laughing at me. I took to the wheel chair straight away, managing to do 180's and 360's - also managing to surf around corners. This was truely the most fun I've had for a very long time, and certainly in the last 48 hours.

Debbie was very good, she put away all my shopping that we got, and harped on about the state of flat, even threatened to come around and clean it up, when her cleaner turned up at 4pm ish. I couldnt get this right in my mind ... they had a cleaner, yet she was willing to come around and clean my gaff up - just strange, not natural.

Anyhow, 4.30pm came and a knock on the door, as she started to clean my flat up, putting random items that I've collected into storage plastic boxes. wiped the work top. I was still working away, blinked and turned around, it was like the place was brand new, like the day I moved in, just with my possessions in. It was clean! To be fair, I had washed and put away loads of dishes, plates and cups, and the week before, had thrown away alot of rubbish, so I think the job was made a little easier - but still thank you.

To say thanks, I cooked the ready meals that we had bought earlier and ate together, we even worked on a plan on how I could get a bath, without a) Debbie seeing me semi/naked and b) getting my cast soaking wet. This involved me twisting and turning my body around, using the shower head to wash my hair and back.

All fun - yet clean, I hadnt wash, bath or shower since running around for 45 minutes, covered in sweat, dirt and sand - was so nice to be clean - mmm, clean

If its good enough for Shearer, its good enough for me - Hero Worshipping

Before anyone else decided to blog this and post the photo up, I thought I'd get in first. Right now, I'm in alot of pain, and it all happened at 19:45 on the football pitch when I went for the ball, with someone chasing after it too. I slipped, skidded, slipped again, heard three tears/cracks and yelped. I'm not a fraid to admit it, I yelped, and I wasnt scared because I'd broken anything, but because of the noise it made.

After speaking to the first aid at the sports centre, he suggested going over to Warwick A&E to get it checked out - within 5 minutes, it had gone from moveable to unmoveable and very painful. Captain Johno at that point had turned up for a game of football and a big beam on his face, only for it to turn to a concerned look. One of the lads, Bill, took me over to A&E in his flash (but very low down) BMW convertable, Johno had roped one of the students to drive my car back to my place and drop the keys off.

Meanwhile in A&E, I was a little worried at the "The Queuing time is approx 2.5 hours" - however got seen by, I guess you call them male nurses. He took more details and said the doctor would be there in a couple of minutes. He was right, and she was stunning, we talked, she prodded, I blushed, I grimaced, then after 10 minutes consulation I got, "Oh, you have got funny feet havent you". After smiling more, she packed me off to the XRay department, where I had a nice chat with the XRay man - now called X Ray, not because his name was Ray, but because it made me laugh when I was in agony. He give me a plastic folder with the Xrays, after updating me on the Arsenal score, and told me to go sit "somewhere". I bumped into the lovely Doctor, who by this time I had taken a real shine too, and she said she's sort me out in a tick.

When she got back, she looked at the plastic folder and said "its got a red dot on it" - when I asked if that was bad, she said I was going to need a cast. Within seconds of her saying that, all I could think was, 6aside compo = fucked, shearer testimonial = fucked, dancing in Mirage = fucked. She said that a nurse would come sort my cast out and waved goodbye, then Debbie, followed by Johno turned up and waved and laughed. At that point the male nurse said he was ready for the cast, brought a very bad looking wheel chair (see below) much to Debbie and Johno's amusement. Johno shouting in the background, "never let Shaun drive your car again, I dont think he had a driving licence".

"Help me lady doctor, please - pitty me"

Obviously, put someone in a situation, and this day and age, people will take photos on camera's, mobile phones, and this was no change. After reminding those two that phones and cameras are not permitted in the hospital, the male nurse just laughed and told them to get on with it. Typical, only under Blair's NHS!

Anyhow, add 20 minutes and a cast later, I was hobbling around like Mr Hoppy the Hopmaster in Hopland and heading towards home (Johno leaving and Debbie giving me a lift home) - only to wave nicely at the lovely Doctor - medicine woman - purr! Got set up at home, text'd my mother, Pippa, and the oh so lovely Jess, took a couple of painkillers, didnt make it down the pub and wrote this. Thanks to one and all to helping me out.

Only got to get up at such an early time to go back tomorrow, and get it seen to by the specialist - I currently cant shower, and after 45 minutes of running around and football, going to make an interesting day, thats for sure.

Good Friday, pah! Bad Friday more like

I woke up at 10am today, expecting to get this work done and dusted, then enjoy the rest of the day. That didnt happen, in fact, around 17.00 I gave up and stopped working. What miffed me more was that it was a fantastic day outside, and probably the warmest we've had this year so far. Enough was enough when it got to 2pm and I hadnt had anything to eat all day- so popped around to the shop to buy some grub and get some fresh air, and it was real spring.

Being unable to get out and about to test my new Sony T9 camera out properly - I took Steve's Stereotypical Canal Photos to see what they looked like. As you can see below - nice and clear.

One thing that I dont really like about the new cam is the fact it doesnt really have a proper old fashioned view finder, you know, you look and point, just the bit window you can see on the back of the camera to aim and point. Call me old fashioned, I like that, I like to know what I'm taking photos off. On the plus side, its really light, and compact - probably even more that Rich's newish digi cam he got a while back. I'm not really impressed with digi cam providers in a whole, based on the fact that you buy a cam, you expect enough to go away and take photos - yet the T9 comes with an onboard memory cell, plus the ability to put Sony Memory Stick Duo's in. Now, I thought I was being pretty smart as the PSP came with one by default a 32Mb card, however, I now know that allows 6 photos to be stored!

I just dont understand why they cant package a camera with everything you need - a decent size card, a case so your fantastic new light camera with a massive viewing screen, doesnt get scratched.

I promised my sister my old camera, as a fav, so need to take that up to newcastle the next time I go up - which will probably end up being the shearer testimonial!

not so post office

I had a delivery notification lastnight that my digital camera had turned up, however because I was out at the time and at the office, its returned to te depot. The note was a little misleading, with one area ticketed to say it was going to be redelivered shortly, yet another bit saying "Parcel is at .. Coventry". In my hungover state from lastnight, I tried to call the depot to see what the score was, unfortunately, the line was constantly engaged - so had to make a decision - risk going over there and collecting it - or just wait.

My misery of the week continued to mount with inprofessional comments being made and aimed at my team and I, and when you have a hangover the state of mine, it made things twice as bad. I decided, best thing I could do, was take my lunch hour and drive over to coventry to collect it. When I got there - I had to wait about 20 minutes to get served, and when I did, the guy said it was about to be delivered this afternoon - around 13.45. So pleased that I would at least be getting it today, I nodded and left, getting back home to more work related abuse.

When it got to 5pm, I called them back, managing to get through this time, only to be told that there was a mistake, the parcel hadnt actually been loaded onto the van, and in fact, I could have picked it up then and there the first time around. As they shut at 7pm, I decided to risk it - however hitting the bank holiday traffic starting to move on the M6. 2 hours later, I was back home, with my boss's boss's boss on the phone to me, asking how the problem I'd been working on was progressing. What confused me more, was that he'd called my personal mobile, rather than my work number.

Having started work at 8am today, I was slightly less amused that I ended up finishing work at 11pm, and two x old speckled hen bottles to the good later, I entered a baby-type sleep.

Oh Whoops!

OK, I told a pork pie! Things can get worse, you could wake up, hungover, by a text message from your neighbour asking if you want to go for a jog. Same as yesterday morning, you think? Well kinda, only to find my credit card on my keyboard and a bemused look on my face, and my desk covered in Tiger beer bottles. Part of me trying to get ready for this jog, part of me trying to work out what I've ordered, so switched the PC on, connected to T'interweb and read my new mail.

Turns out, I ordered the digi camera that I've been after for a couple of weeks, managing to get a decent price on it - 100 quid less than what the Sony shop were offering when I popped in. However, there was another email there....

Thanks very much for your email, the Prime Ministers Office will read the email
and get a reply to you, and if of interest, will be placed on the PM's monthly
discussion list

Turns out, I got fed up of the chav element around town and the increase of yobs taking over the streets, that I emailed the PM - nice, not something you really expect in the morning.

To make myself feel a bit better after the jog, I popped into town to do a bit of clothes shopping, getting a nice new tie and shirt for work, and a hooded top (ironic) and some bright white underwear - mm.

Pride of Warwickshire

The last thing you need in the morning, when you've had a skinful the night before and not really slept, is a text from your nice neighbours asking if you're up for a saturday morning jog. I could have easily just got up, made a bacon sandwich, a cup of tea and watched Saturday Superstore (or whatever they call it these days) in my boxers. However, in the magical world of Warburton, and being sensible, a jog came out on top - so 5 minutes later, trainers or and the cold wind blowing into my eyes, we set along the canal, getting even further than we did the other day.

30 odd minutes later, we got back, a little tired, made a bacon sandwich, a cuppa and sat in my boxers watching some other saturday show for youngsters.

After a shower and clean up, we met in the street, ready to depart to the Leamington v RC warwick derby. We got up there pretty early and 5 minutes later, we were told already 200 people had come through the gates. The wind was strong, blowing the ball around and we knew it was going to cause both teams a problem - and then bang! 2 minutes into the game, the scummers managed to score. We held strong and got the better of the posession, however as is the case in most derbies, it was a scrappy affair. Both teams only had a league position to play for, nothing more, nothing less, and of course the bragging rights til the start of next season. By the half time, we managed to crawl it back to 2-1 and more or less faced a battering in the second half - but we defended well.

I had an interesting chinwag with someone at the ground, and dont wish to say anything as yet, but its something I've always wanted to do. Got a chat with management next week to discuss the possibilities and then learn a little bit more about it - not being cryptic, just dont want to be disappointed.

We got back and it started to sleet/slush it down - lovely. Welcome to spring!

Happy Shiney Restaurant

I joined Debbie in the gym after what has been a very very hard couple of days. These have probably been the worst set of days of my working career, and to be honest, it had nowt to do with my job, it was down to someone else not doing their job correctly. Unfortunately, its becoming more of a theme with work, people are just either on a piss take, or lazy - and its up to the "good guys" to pick it up and run with it.

Anyhow, I digress, I managed 50 lengths in the pool, and worked out that I've done exercise 8 days in the last 10 - which is pretty good going. After a relaxing jacuzzi and sauna, we headed back home with arrangements made to meet in one of the new italian restaurants in town, Prezzo, accompanied by MC and Super Gary.
Its very shiney and new, and the food is very tasty. I ended up having pizza, followed by a cheesecake. The Cheesecake turned up with chocolate on the top, however scrapped that off and gave it to Debbie and Super Gary. Thats really how broken I am.

We ended up in the Jug (not for the want of trying to go elsewhere, honestly) where we managed to grab a table after 10 minutes as it was vr busy, but chilled at the same time. After the 2nd bottle of wine, I think the exhaustion from exercise kicked in and was ready for sleep, but we managed to get a round of shorts in - myself having Morgans Rum and coke - mmm.

Tomorrow is the local derby, between Brakes and RC Warwick scummers - also promised Debbie I would go for a jog with her, and John might turn up!

Chasing the Cup

Tonight saw the 1st semi final to the Polymac cup between Chasetown and Leamington FC - well basically the lowest two teams in the 1st round of the FA cup this season. After a quick jog along the canal with Debbie, something to eat, and a quick shower, we were on the way up the motorway on an unusual Tuesday night jaunt to cheer on the Team. On the motorway, we encountered briliant sunshine, rain, snow, and wind - looking at my footwear, I expected it to be a repeat of Saturday, loads of mud and monsoons.

We bumped into the friendly familiar people, chinwagged and got ourselves hot drinks as the temperature started to tip towards zero. As soon as the whistle went to kick off, we were under the cosh and an early sub bringing Leon Morgan on, give us a huge amount of strength up front, to hold the ball. We went in at half time 1-0 town, and most doom and gloom mongers expected a trashing, and a hell of alot of work to do in the home fixture to get into the final.

The second half, we came racing out the traps, managing to equalise, then go 2-1 up - to the frustration of the home manager (Mr Charlie) and the local fan (well, an OAP who told me to shut up - because I was giving the lino some correction abuse). We managed to seal the first match of the round by Josh Blake being pulled down in the box by their keeper, the keeper being sent off and us scoring a pen from the foul. One of their outfielders had to go in goal as it appeared that they didnt have any goalies on the bench, or they made their full 3 subs at least. I thought at this point, we would have sealed the tie, maybe scoring a couple more, but to be fair to chasetown, they didnt just sit back, they kept us under pressure for the final 10 mins.

Final Score - Chasetown 1 - Leam FC 3. 2nd half of the tie, next Tuesday.

Fish Eye Photos - Volume #2

Scan10023
Originally uploaded by docwharton.

I've spent the last couple of weeks playing around with the Fish Eye Camera in my patio, trying to capture different light, seasons and the up and coming Daffs.

The nice people at Jessops didnt provide a CD that I asked for (luckily didnt pay for either) so John kindly let me borrow his new scanner while he played outrun 2006 on my PSP - fair deal I think!

Stefan :: Broken

Gone are the days where chocolate, lard and lager munching Warburton used to ride these lands, thats all been replaced with exercise, fruit and veg. Its got to a state where I have given up chocolate for Lent, now, I'm not a religious man, infact, since the catholic school, it more or less turned me against it. I decided it was probably a good thing to do, improve my health, complextion, all for not eating something for 40 days and 40 nights. Yeah, every so often, I get the craze, but in years gone by, I would have thought "bugger it chocolate time".

I've ended up in Somerfield, craving chocolate, drooling at the chocolate stand, but then think, "oh well, I'll get some fruit instead" - thats not real is it ? Maybe its because I'm getting old, sensible for once - no idea.

Today, I've taken my broken state too far, and enough is enough. I'd suggested to Debbie that I was going to go swimming, however after a bad night sleep, I missed her going up, but still managed to get up there at lunch time, getting 50 lengths in - not bad for a Sunday. When I returned from town, Debbie mentioned that her and MC were starting up training for a "race for life" and asked if I wanted to join them. Now, the canal isnt the safest of places at the best of times, so part wanting a bit of a run, part making sure the two runners were safe. The idea of the program is that you start simple and build up stamina - todays was 1 minute run/1 minute walk/run/walk - for a total of 20 mins. This was OK, however there was rain, wind and chav's randomly taking the piss - something you dont really need. I managed to get back with my heart lightly beating, Debbie and MC more or less on their knees begging for oxygen and water.

Still, "rest" day tomorrow ... time for more swimming.