Things I hate ...#1

There are a number of things that piss me off right at this moment, there are alot of people that piss me off right now - all for different reasons - and all at different levels of anger - however, this is the thing that is pissing me off the most.

I bought my faithful kettle when I first moved into my new flat - my first kettle in fact - and I was a little annoyed that it just wouldnt switch off once it reached the boil. So, like all humans, I adapter to the little twat, and made sure I was around for the bubbles coming up - and then proactively switched it off before it over boilded, caused a fire etc etc.

Some people would say, "Young Steve, you should have taken it back to the shop and got it exchanged!" and yes, maybe I should have, but I like my little kettle - mainly because of its quirks. I accepted the fact it was broken, and in exchange, got a lovely piping hot cup of tea - thats life.

However, for some freak force of nature - the damn thing has decided to switch itself off now. You think, lucky Steve, a kettle that was broken, thats now healed itself - NO!!!! What the damn thing does now, is switch itself off half way through boiling - hence Mr Warburton gets semi cold cups of tea in the mornings!

As with the kettle, tempted to exchange it - however, its my first kettle - and I like its little quirks - but hate the fact I get semi warm water out of it!

Do you know the way to the New Windmill Ground ?

We had to look it up on a map - because it really is that long since we've been to a football match - the FA Vase game has been called off twice in a week, but the brakes returned in the Polymac Cup - playing Rocester.

Its been gradually getting colder over the last couple of weeks, so, being a hardened geordie, I've purchased a big coat, thermal leggings, thermal long sleaved top and a hat - which I have to admit, is very toasty when combined.

Once we got there, we enquired about Brakes Fluid - the beer brewed for the club, of which you can purchase a crate of 12 for 24 quid. I wasnt really sure - but at the end of the day, its alcohol, and its for the good of the club - so who am I to be force fed local beverages. The guy give us a nod and a wink and told us to come see him after the game and he would sort us out.

It was indeed a little nippy, however, to cheer me up a little, there was a nice female referee's assistant, who looked a little chilly. Of course, when there are two bloke lino's you dont think much about them, only to abuse them when the decisions are in/correct - but all of a sudden, was flooded with new questions such as;

Do they have special FA underwear they have to wear - or just a bulk standard thong type device?
Do clubs have to offer two changing rooms - just on the off chance that they have a female assistant ?
What her mobile phone number was ...

I personally thought she had a very good game, and not at all biased ... but at least she wasnt cockey like some of the ref's & lino's that I've seen this season. Sadly - didnt find out any of the three questions in my mind - damn it.

The game finished 4-1 in the end, with the Brakes going into the next round of the cup. Once again, I won the "guess the attendance" game - missing out on the total by 9 - which is pretty good going.

Brakes Fluid - Rocket fuel more like!

We picked up our Brakes Fluid after the game, John picked up his DVD of the Colchester game (I'm hoping he's gonna make me a copy) and headed home to warmth. Note to self - purchase some new gloves.

Meanwhile, else where in the Midland Alliance, Boldmere done us a fav by beating Stratford Town (2 points ahead of us in the league) 3-2

Cold Canal....

.... but not frozen over!

Icy Plant looking into the Canal

Cold Canal - View of Bridge

Cold Canal with view of barge and mist thats covered leam for two days

Saturday - Cold! Official

Is it just me, or is there a little bit of a nip in the air ? Just all a little scary really isnt it ? Last week, it was t-shirt weather (well for me anyhow) and now, its like the big freeze. Its well confused my tree and my plants - and looks like its going to kill them badly. My tree, up until Friday still had blossom, now, its covered in ice.

Icy plant, with swan in background - aww

Anyhooo, after last nights happy friday, I woke up at 11:15 - and John had suggested that we were going to leave for Biddulp at 11:30. So, with a hangover, managed to get ready in 10 mins flat - only to have an MSN from Debbie, and a text from John saying the game had been called off due to a frozen pitch. Typical - so decided to head into town after some breakfast, only to find that the whole town was covered in icy mist, got a few random things - including a hat from fatface and a baked potato cooking device - as well as Eutythmics Ultimate Collection & Beastie Boys Solid Gold Hits.

Got back, defrosted and "watched" sky sports centre and the Chelsea v Newcastle result come in - loosing 3-0 - damn cheeky cockney barrow boys!

Anyhoo, I sent Blunty a text to find out if he wanted some beverages and maybe some food - so we arranged to meet in the Jug, where we had a quick one - then shivered towards Millenium where we had a nice meal - although it was a little subzero in the restaurant. Once the meal finished, we hiked up to the Lounge where we indulged in rum based cocktails and thawed out. Strangely enough, when we left the Lounge - it was a lil bit warmed - and the rum based drink must have got into our blood system.

We had a couple in the Well, well, we had a large amount to drink in the Well, and chatted with the locals and barstaff - and it was a little bit too quiet for my liking - maybe it was the weather. I chatted to Neil who was arranging the Rock / Metal night downstairs - and managed to name three tracks in a row taht was being played. He give me a stamp for free entry into the Rock night if we fancied it - borrowed his stamp, stamped my other hand and give Blunty an imprint - incase he wanted to come down.

We moved from Morgan Spiced Rum to Sailor Jerry's rum - on the first taste - Blunty screamed "Its like Christmas, in a drink!!" I asked what he meant, and he listed off about 5 things which are important to Christmas - I tasted it, and yes, its like a Christmas Rush. After 6 more of the Double Christmas drinks - we both turned to each other with blurry eyes and announced that we needed to go our seperate ways and retire to bed. We did that and disappeared into the Winter mist.

I got back home and the two swans were on the canal, so decided to feed them - It was nice, peaceful and calm - cold as the coldest day you can imagine. After giving them a loaf of bread between the two and had a conversation with them, I returned to my flat and entered my rum based coma.

Jacuzzi Experiences

I'm a caring sharing kind of person - and thought I would share my experience with you. Just randomly in the jacuzzi the other day when I placed my stomach over the middle water shoot. I placed my hand on my stomach and it felt like there was nothing there.

I shared this idea with Debbie - and she agrees its certainly an experience to savour.

More random experiences to follow!

Preplanned Happy Friday

Friday returns to us, almost as quickly as I got over last weeks hangover - however this week, we've made a few suggestions of what we'd like to do tonight. I'm meeting Debbie in the gym after work - with a view to at least getting a little bit healthy and balancing the scales of getting ratarsed tonight and trying to get up at a decent time tomorrow.

We're hoping to meet in Lounge for Happy Friday cocktails - all Spiced Rum based of course - then head towards the Leam Bar & Grill - if we dont need a booking.

Then probably head towards The Well or Jug and Jester for a bottle of wine .. mmm!

Luckily John and Debbie are driving to the football tomorrow - so means I can get a little drunk and chill and relax. Hope there is a foxy single lass out there tonight - could do with a lil bit of romance in my life right now.

Tale of two days - and a fine right foot touch

Getting back to the footballing way of thinking, its nice to know after 4 games of a dry footballing spell, I managed to score twice over 2 days - today of all things scoring our team's first goal Shame that we lost something like 9-2 due to shambolic defending and a lad going home because he thought he broke his finger .

Be interesting times of fair weather players, now its getting a little nippy - this time last year, all the students went missing til april, because they couldnt hack the cold weather. GAYS, thats what I say!

Simple words, simple things

It's amazing what a few words can do to pick you up and make you feel better - in the space of 3 days - not only have I been asked out for a drink - and wait for it and be seated - by a ... female. Not only that, but its refreshing to be told that you look nice and you've lost weight. Shame I had to go spoil it all by calling her a wench - whoops.

Where did you get that .. er ... coat!

I dont mind the rain, I dont mind the cold and I certainly dont mind the rain. So much so, that I prefer walking around town in the autumn weather, and most of this stems from my old job in ASDA when I worked in the frozen food department. Walking around town, when its wet and cold is class, mainly because everyone else cant be arsed, or standing in doorways trying to keep out the way - thus, pavements and streets are clear.

Anyhooo, after last Tuesdays Birmingham Cup exploits where I got cold wet and sodden through, I decided to make a decision - to buy a big winter coat, for the first time in 12 years. I wanted to before the Saturday League game at the New Windmill, so popped into town and bought a funky thick coat from GAP.

Its a nice funky 3 way coat - not to say, when you walk, it goes three ways - but you can take the inner layer out and wear either the layer. It also comes with a nice funky furry hood too. Needless to say, after paying alot of money for it, I was disappointed not to get soaked on Saturday and get my money out of it - DAMN YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!

Look to the Darkside

Pretty scary, but I was looking at my phone gallery of photos that I've taken over the last couple of weeks - and we must have been trigger happy lastnight when I found this photo of Blunty - or the emperor from Starwars.

Captain Bluntarian - using the force to get free drinks.

Happy Birthday Jess!

~~ Happy 21st Birthday Jess! ~~

Happy Birthday MC!

I knew it was going to be Chaos from the start, and being with Captain Bluntarian - the leader of Chaos - I knew it was going to get messy. Thats a story for later on, however, myself John, Debbie and virgin brakes attendee, Tom, went to to the New Windmill Ground to watch Leam FC play Quorn. The ground was a little more packed than the last league game we played (around 1924 was the year, I believe) and it was kind of expected after the FA Cup run we had up until last week. The final score was 1-1 and we headed off back to town to catch the England "friendly" against the Argies - only to be disturbed by the Brake's Chairman (Sir Mick) who asked if I could drive out of the exitting queue - and point my headlights into their "electrical garage" where a fuse had gone ... certainly not a Premiership moment - but its always good to help the club out in small ways where possible.

We got back to town and went our seperate ways, knowing it was MC's birthday and arranging to meet blunty - I knew I needed food - so headed to Mamma's for some "easy food" - decided to watch the 2nd half of the England game at home and chill before I went out. After shower, dressed up etc, I met Blunty in the Lounge for a beverage before heading to the Sausage. We noticed some cocktail menu's on the table to which we ordered one - and the one I had was like rocket fuel - so we got another - in between that, Nomes and Andy turned up to meet us.

By the time we got to the Sausage, I already had 3 strong drinks inside me and entered the pub with the widest grin in the world. We continued drinking with the Cuban Rum theme and got a little merrier towards the end (and Tequela), where time flew and we got kicked out. In between, picking up the black straws for the drinks - and we all know what that means - fake microphone headsets, and doormen Blunty and Stefan.

We dithered around outside the sausage for a while, before we hit Robbins Well, where for some reason, I thought if I said to the bar staff, "Did I tell you, You have beautiful eyes?" I would get free drinks. This was the basis for the convo for most of the night, where it turned into, "Did I tell you, your eyes remind me of Hailey's Comet?" and "Did I tell you, your eyes remind me of shooting stars". Somehow, this actually did work - where I came out with vouchers for free "Sailor Jerry's rum". We once again, used our magic key to the Robbins well, and promptly took to the end of the bar, while people were getting chucked out at drinking up time - only to have a chat with the barstaff about the best place to "pull" females.

We came to the conclusion, there are about 3 sets of people in the world - guys who can pull in pubs, supermarkets - or those who just dont try - but sometimes get lucky. The barmaids came to the conclusion that the flower or fresh veg department of the supermarket is the best place to pull - needless to say, I've polished my nectar card and heading up there this week to do some flower and carrot shopping. John, Debbie and Gav left at this point, allowing blunty and I to continue chatting and talking bollocks, allowing me to sing further Jaheebus songs (Michael row the boat to shore, and, He's got the whole world in his hands". Blunty went off to plat table football with someone who looked scary and someone else who looked like Jaheebus, so left him to it, while I contined to woo the barstaff with my "you have pretty eyes, can I have free drinks" chat up line.

Returned home, alone, yet again (awww) around noneo'clock to which, I entered my rum based coma - only to pass loads of people on the streets of Leamington dressed up in school uniforms - so so confusing!

Sign of geting old

You know how it is ... when you were at school, and someone said to you, "the best days of your life are at school" and you chuckled and laughed in their face - and thought, as soon as you get a job, then gooooodbye school. I done that many years ago, now, I feel old and I'm on the other side of the border having gone beyond passport control.

A combination of things have wound me up this week, I dont know if its a case of playing Civ4 til 2 in the morning a couple of nights, or just things have come to a head .. but I really do think, school is a better option. Maybe I should become a teacher or something, but the point is, I'm baby sitting people at work who should know better. I wont mention who I work from, although people from work read this - however, the simple crap you have to deal with, just stresses me out. Dealing with contractors (aka - get paid by the hour and get alot of money, while permies grin and shrug shoulders) who are battling with themselves. Its not an agest thing to say, but im probably the youngest in the team, ish, and the team leader, yet, you have people twice my age minus a couple of years, being so - well, unprofessional.

Needless to say, when Debbie asked if I wanted to go to the gym for a swim and sauna, I jumped at the chance to get out of working - and it happened. Walking up in the rain, I listened to El Presidente - that I bought of Itumes - that I've slowly got into. I done my 15 min run and joined Debbie in the pool. We had a couple of lengths swim and chilled in the sauna and jacuzzi etc - discussed plans for tonight and things - while attractive women came and went.

Anyhooo, Debbie, MC and I arranged to get to TJs for a cocktail at happyhour, while it appears John and "crew" were on an all day session. We had blue lagoons and chinwagged, and then met the rest in Millenium Curry House for a meal, went onto Jug and Jester for a couple of bottles of wine, where we had fun, laughed and talked about the colchester v leamington fc game.

Needless to say, we went our different directions and I came home, drinking MSR...

Special thanks to someone who was there when I needed a reply - thanks!

Josh Blake saved my life!

As Soul to Soul sing ... Back to Life, Back to Reality - and in what better way to return to reality - than high levels of wind, and it raining - quite litterally - cats and dogs. However, thankfully, it didnt "shit it down" as John put it earlier. Yes, for once, The Brakes returned to the Windmill Game, for the first time in - well I cant even remember - and played Solihul in the 3rd Round of the Birmingham Senior Cup. We were all hoping that the heavy defeat against Colchester (9-1) didnt bring the team down.

It was going to be interesting to see how many of the 1200 travelling Leam fans would turn up - even on a cold wet dank November night - and indeed, we guessed, with John picking 250, and I picking 314 - I was 4 out again - yay - and indeed like Rainman.

Anyhooo, by halftime, I was completely drenched through, feeling the jeans sticking to the back of my legs, so by half time and 1-1, we got a hot drink and stood under the roof for the 2nd half. Debbie turned up just after half time and wondered why we were stood there. By that time, my legs had failed to work and I thought I was going to die. Full time was 1-1, so extra time was being called - I was close to loosing the feeling in my eyes and mouth when we were reaching full time of extra time - thankfully Josh Blake (Joshy's Giants) put on in the back of the net, making it 3-2 to the Brakes. Any form of penalties would have taken me towards flatlining - so indeed, the Brakes saved my life and the ability to do my job (DAMN IT!)

I got home, had the hottest shower in the world (Temperature, not due to a woman - because I dont have a girlfriend!!) and switched the heating on - continued Civilization 4 with Rich while supping a hot cup of tea.

Cannonball run :: Colchester -> Leam

Gav kindly gave us a lift to the hotel where I left the car, we said our goodbyes (only to arrange to meet him in Leam next saturday for MCs 30th birthday) and after abusing the hotel's good nature & facilities once again, we were on our way up north. This time, we managed to avoid the M25 and M1 - and went the quicker route - listening to Radio 5 Live and 606 with Alan Green. At one point he started mocking the Leamington game, trying to get people to phone up and explain what went on - then someone did - and they tried explaining to Mr Green that it was indeed a fantastic game, and it didnt matter about the result in the end.

Anyhooo, we made it back into Leam around 8.15pm - so managed to get a Pizza from Mamma's across the road and got showered and changed - ready to meet up with Rich. We ended up going down the Well for a couple of beers to catch up and have a sociable one - where Rich didnt feel too well. Anyhooo, after a bottle and a half of wine later - we retired back to our abodes. Rich must have gone to bed, I continued drinking some beverage (trying to catch up with my lack of) and tried Civilization IV out. I tried version 3 a while back as a demo, and Rich had recommended this as a strategy game - so bought the game before we went to Colchester.

Sticking it on easy level - I managed to get pretty far, although one of the reasons I did get it - was to try the multi-player version and get an alliance together.

Anyhow, a fantastic weekend, lets just hope Chase Town dont get a mauling tomorrow afternoon

The Brakes :: Cup Final

The morning of the big day ... It wasnt down to not being able to sleep through tenstion, mainly because of some high powered industrial lights outside my hotel window. I woke up around 7am to someone sweeping the streets, and somehow - strangely enough, couldnt get back to sleep. I managed to get down to breakfast for around 8am, had more GTA 4 PSP fun - then I was joined by John, then 2 mins later by Debbie. We had our Full English Breakfast* chatted, discussed plans for the day, and headed to get checked out - well, in between watching Dic and Dom in Da Bungalow. First time I've watched this, and it was a complete scream - and I think it might change my view on missing Saturday mornings by default.

We had a wander into town, look around shops and see where we are compared to the ground, it was a little scary running up to the game, as everyone I spoke too, they've been to Colchester and this is my first attempt - even my mum who apparently got lost - somehow. We managed to find a nice looking coffee house, when Gav (a friend who used to live in leam - went to africa, build stuff, then moved back home to essex after giving his job up) called to arrange to meet us to get to the ground.

Strangely enough, this all went to plan, we got to the ground, inbetween getting abusive text messages from students calling me a "gaylord" for being in the Leamington Courier.

I bumped into and said hello to more people at the ground, than I would have in Leam - it was a good laugh - Leam were very vocal from the off - and you reckon, if the sun is in the right direction, the light is looking at the cat correctly, someone bought a box of tic tacs with 2 more tacs than it should and colchester had a bad day - we could get something out of it. We certainly started slowly - and by half time - we were 2-0 down. Leam Fans were still vocal - and way out singing the Colchester fans, regardless of taunts. The Manager, "Caddsy" even waved during his tactic rant when Leam fans were singing, 'Caddsy Caddsy give us a wave' - which in a way - shows that even tho everyone assumed a thumping, its still a family club, and at the end of the day, everyone was expecting a football lesson.

Everytime Colchester scored - Leam Fans came back with the "we're gonna win X - X+1" even wnen it eventually did get to 9-1. We even discussed on the way back that Leam didnt deserve to get beatend 9-1 - I reckon, in my opinion 4-1 would have been a better score line - but listening to 5live - we came to the conclusion if we lost 2-1 - it would have been lost under the media limelight.

Anyhoo - chats of the day

"are you pleased we filled your ground"

"Caddsy Caddsy give us a wave"

"we're all going to Wembley" (after 9-1 and 2 mins of injury time)

"theres only one Bill Bailey" - to the steward who looked a bad version of Bill Bailey

"we're gonna win 10-9"

FA Cup Dream is over ... for this season.!

The Magic of the Cup Roadshow II

Most of this week has been taken up with planning the trip to colchester - and I do have to admit, the excitement has taken over my life. I've been a life long Newcastle fan, yet, for some strange reason, I've never been so excited about a game. The Newcastle v Sunderland game could reach that level - however, its all based on Newcastel winning, Sunderland winning / or getting a draw.

I've always liked the FA cup, the oldest cup competition ever in football, and its good in my opinion to be involved so early in the stages, rather than waiting til the 3rd round when Newcastle get in. I do love my Newcastle related football - when I was working in America in Jan, Rich kindly hooked up his webcam and mic up to his TV and I watched Newcastle v Yeading over MSN - it wasnt good - but it was better than watching baseball - funnily enough.

Anyhooo, back to the story, John and Debbie went to Holbeach last saturday near Lincoln while I was on my flu death bed, and I think they came to the conclusion that my original idea of going down Friday night was a good idea. So come Monday, I booked two rooms at the Riverside Hotel, and we set off approx 4.40pm.

Mainly thanks do some planning arrangements, we arrived in Colchester roughly 4 hours lately, with me a little tired at the wheel. At the hotel, they had two rooms available, one double bedded room, one twin single room - obviously John and Debbie being together, it was suggested they took the double room, and I took the twin room. Once we got checked in, we ended up on one of the main streets heading towards a curry house - having a very tasty meal, beer and wander towards a "themed" pub the other side of the river to the hotel.

Time was pressing on, and I think ALL three of us NEEDED alcohol - so we took to the bar in the "themed" pub of schools. AKA - an excuse for the female barstaff to dress up in school uniforms. We asked when they were gonna call last orders, which turned out to be 11pm - however at around 10:30 stools were being piled and tables were being wiped. At 11pm, you get the distint feeling, that they wanted everyone out - so we give up - and left, me leaving 1/2 a glass of wine - NOOOO!

Not like any normal friday, I was in bed, by 11:45 semi sober ready for sleep - getting text's from my ex - wondering why I look scary in the Leamington Courier's FA Cup Special section.

Played 5 mins of GTA Liberty Stories on the PSP before "trying" to get some sleep - that didnt work

Embrace Change!

I've always been told to accept change with open arms and work with it - instead of against it - and I have, almost. Here are two bits of information that may or may not interest you and your lives.

Tuesday P-P-P-P-P-P-Pound Night at Robbins Well (its a quid) - Is now on Monday Night, and Tuesday night has been replaced by Bulldozer (Redbull and vodka for a pound)

The Brakes official website has been opened up today and can be found at http://www.leamingtonfc.co.uk/ replaces Braking News and folfc.org.uk

Needless to say this has benefited me in many ways - how, Pound Night extends my weekends, and also doesn't clash with any Brakes fixtures on Tuesdays

Singles and Doubles

I've been single for - well - since 2000 and never - and to be honest, yes, it has its ups and downs, but i think the injustice and plight of it all is getting to me and a number friends. You see stunning girls (albeit - might be completely brain dead) with complete gonks, piss takers and/or chavs. Fair enough you may say, you also may say, Steve (and friends) go out and make more of an effort - and believe me, we do - probably too much.

Sometimes you read into things too much, which is a shame, because then I would have someone I actually wanted, and was attracted too. Why do far too many women smoke too - you know, I've done it before in my past, most people have, just to see what its like (christ, I hope my mother isnt reading this). It just seems more women are doing it, or is it less blokes are doing it ? completely strange, but also very off putting - but I know you cant just put a certain criteria around "you're perfect partner".

I've been thinking around what catagory I would fall into - and its difficult. There is the "Mr Darcy" type catagory - which I dont think is me - I'm kind, considerate and like a laugh - but obviously being from Newcastle, I cant be. I'm not the Sports type, because I only do Sport because I have too, to socialise and get fit or to escape work. I certainly aint a trendy with the slick haircut, tanned skin and up todate clothing. You have to think, what other areas are left - which kinda scares me. Have a real think about it - do you know what catagory you belong to ?

I guess its a bit like Breakfast Club and the final quote :

Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

Stefan Warburton - The ANTI-CHAV

After digging around t'inter super highway for random things (NUFC results and Fancy Dress Related stuff) I came across the following website. It beat me to an article I was going to personally write, mainly due to being sick of the number of chavs kicking around town, forgetting any kind of respect that I, a northerner, was told to give my elders and the other towns people.

I give you http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/index.php which allows people to register and moan, add comments about the state of their town, city or hamlet and the invasion of chavs. One article that I really liked about Leamington Spa is here. What isnt mentioned, is the chav club that now stands outside my front door, finding it amusing to press the intercom buzzer on a sunday evening, only to laugh at me when I open the door and tell them to twat off. Nor does it document the conversation that I heard just after, about one of the chavs wanting to "spark" his so called chav bro-inlaw because "he did the night before". Needless to say, the group of chav twats, had their own chav princess who looked doped up and probably 30 seconds from being impregnated.

It also doenst go into the details of me passing a group of chavs at 10:45 last saturday morning on the way up to Leeds - when they were drinking "White lightening" and "raaring me" from across the street.

As a nation, and Blunty's original suggestion, we should gas the little fuckers. Who really owns the streets ? The Police ? or Chav twats. Come on Blair - introduce a Chav Task Force and get these idiots off the street - and put the Great and into Britain like you said you were gonna do. Lets face it, this is not a fad, this is here to stay, and, if nothing is done about it - a full generation of workless goons. Jeez, I sound really old now!

clean becomes the unclean

Bloody typical isnt it. I took Monday and Tuesday off work to chill and relax, and as soon as I get to bed on Sunday night I knew something was up. My throat started to tighten up and breathing was a little difficult - this continued for a couple of days until Wednesday morning when, after 3 hours sleep, I returned to work feeling like a sack of potatos - dont ask me what it feels like - no idea, just making an assumption.

Anyhooo, it Warburton's moment of madness with Wednesday night football - where I decided playing football would be good for my body and help sweat the crap out of my body. After 10 mins of running around, I thought my normally healthy organs were about to fall out and someone would kick them thinking it was the football. After a 30 second moment of complete football genius, someone punted the ball over the top, with (me being onsite for a change) only a defender and keeper (annoying welsh twat) to beat - of which I did. Heading the ball around the defender, beating him without my vital organs working and sliding the ball past the keeper. Certainly one of the best goals I've every scored - considering my state of health. Even people were saying what a great goal it was - while I was trying to catch my breath - nice!

Anyhoooo, I arranged to meet Rich down the Well to watch Grimsby v Newcastle in the Carling Cup - esp after Souness announced it was going to be a big team against a big team - I was worried about getting kicked out of the cup. After a quick shower, changed and out again, my bird flu kicked in again, aided by a couple of medicinal pints of tetley and msr's - the toon strolling to a 1-0 win over 10 decent grimsby players and a thug who decided to kick the 256 shades of grey out of shearer. During the post match interviews, Shearer didnt look too chuffed, but no matter, my eyes were starting to sink and suggested to Rich that we left, before he had to carry me home.

By Thursday I had to cancel my Thursday Lunch football session as I could barely walk or last 2 seconds without coughing - and sitting in the kitchen (coldest room in the flat) with a tshirt on, shorts, and the windows wide open, sweating like something hot, in hotland. Managed to get a good night sleep lastnight tho, which made me feel a little better today - hoping tomorrow I should be OK to get into town or even to Holbeach to watch the FA Vase game!

washing away the unclean

Its be about 2 and a half years missing in the premiership, and technically about 14 days worth of pure stress for me - but the return of the tyne and wear derby - aka Newcastle United v the unwashed mackems was on the fixture. Its always the time of the year, when bragging rights are available to the winners, and its 12 months (or longer) til you can at least get them back. I know there is the celtic / rangers, spurs / arsenal, man city / manure, milan x2 etc etc - but the end of the day - nothing is as big as this, there isnt any bigger rivalry between two sets of teams and fans.

Pippa was going to the match and after a couple of texts, you know she was going crazy in the head - and frustrated because the game wasnt over right then and there. The news that Owen wasnt playing was eating every geordie up around the world - and made the fight for 3 points even hotter than a hot thing in hotland.

Rich was on about putting a bet on - because it matters more when theres money on it - and I still dont really know if he did or not - although he was swearing and cursing at sunderland at full time. Rich turned up about 10 mins after kick off, and I was already panicing - sunderland made a harsh challenge on Emre in the first 30 seconds and they got a yellow card for it. Ameobi managed to score a powering header, only for the unclean to claw one back 90 seconds later, Ameobi scored a second (from a header again) - for yet again, sunderland to score again. This was truely an advert for english football, and certainly for the north east.

We were watching this from the Well, and normally everyone is pretty chatty to each other - however, the black and white shirts, kept well away from the red and whites - not even a nod, not even a smile within 2 hours - even at the bar, toilets or if someone needed to get past a table or chair. The 2nd half kicked off, and again, Newcastle dominated the game, with the return of solano and emre - our quality started to shine through, and then fantastic, Emre scoring from a free kick - in off the post - fantastic - 3-2 - this time, the geordie nation prayed that we could keep the unwashed away from our goal for the remainder of the game.

We were very luckly - the width of a crossbar (Elliot chipped Given for the ball to bounce back out) we were sailing home free, with 3 points safely tucked under our captain's hat. Our win took us to the top of the bottom half of the table, the unwashed heading back into the relegation zone. After all that happened at wigan last weekend - we needed this, not just for the league, not just for the club, but for the players, the fans and once again, to instantly shut up any gobby mackem scum who starts to mouth off.

Advantage : Newcastle

The Magic of the Cup Roadshow

An early start to the day, as a trip to West Yorkshire was the plan to watch Leam FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifier Round to the FA Cup. Alot was to play for - a passage into the 1st round of the FA Cup proper - and I'd originally invited Bluntarian and Headworth for a trip to taste the delights - however both shyed off.

Anyhooo, the plan was to set off around 10am - and get up early - however, due to a bottle of wine lastnight, my eyes were wtill gel'd together and ended up leaving around 10:40 - getting petrol on the way. I had to take my own car, as John and Debbie were visiting John's parents down in Wales - so had a number of options on the cards - sadly, with the Newcastle v Sunderland game on live tv tomorrow - I came back. John and Debbie must had have about 25 mins head start, so wanted to catch up with the - and by the M1/M69 junction, I caught up with the first car with a Brakes scarf in the back window. Just after Nottingham, I managed to catch up with the cheeky pair and we took it in turns to lead.

We got there about 2 hours after me setting off from my gaff - which isnt too bad - and with Leeds being 10 mile north - reckon I can get to Leeds in about 2 hours 30 tops now. Anyhooo, first thing we done in Ossett Town was find a pub that sold food, and had toilets - which we did - and it was very nice. We timed it so well, that just as we sat down, there was 100s of Brakes fans piling in - and once we had our food - we wandered around the quaint little town and then headed to the ground. It was a strange place, with an even stranger triagle shaped practice pitch behind it - the grass was long - and the pitch quality was poor. We moved around a bit, and some guy offered to buy my programme for 5 quid (paid £1.50) - but we settled on 2 quid - because I'm so nice. Kick off came and went, and to be fair Ossett dominated the first 10 mins - over powering the Brakes, out running - then all of a sudden Ossett just slowed down.

The one thing that Ossett now has in common with the silver screen - Green Street - I know football is about opinions - however, I had the misfortune to stand about 10 metres away from Burberry wearing twats, trying to cause fights and problems within the first half. Of course, the sucker punch, Ossett scored from a corner in the 10th minute (John had 11 mins on the Guess the Goal Compo) to which the Burberry wearing twats starting to mouth off a little. We managed to pull one back (as well as having a goal chalked off for some strange reasoning) and the twats starting to get more and more mouthier. By half time, we were 2-1 up and thankfully, justice had finally shone upon the ground - as the foul mouth chavs were escorted from the ground. We had certainly taken control from the 10 min onwards and it was a fantastic game to watch - as the passion from the fans certainly kicked in.

After half time, we once again dominated and should have scored more goals, but we got pegged back to 3-2 and a man sent off - with "1 minute of injury time" left to play, last lasted at least 4, we were all on the edges of the concrete slabs and panicing that they could pull back to 3-3 - taking us back to the New Windmill. The final whistle eventually was blown, and if by magic, it started to rain - I'd like to call them god's tears of joy.

The FA Cup 1st round proper was ours - and was also bring drawn about 17:10 - thanks to Rich who text'd me the oposition - Colchester - away! Matches being played the weekend of 4/5/6th November

Att: 900

BACK TO BASICS WEEKEND

The official weekend of BACK TO BASICS has begun - please enjoy your new found freedom and enjoyment of not wearing pants - please feel free to use the graphics anywhere you like - print them out and place them on bus shelters and in shop windows.

No Pants for me!

Or Me!

First Cup of the Season

Another cold, wet, misry of a tuesday night - and it must mean that the Brakes are playing at home, and myself and John are popping up to watch them. A nice change to have a "friendly" game between Cov Sphinx - which allows us to keep one eye on the FA Cup Game at the weekend, but also have a good run around, without risking key players and cup/league position.

Around 200 spectators turned up to watch the match, which was end to end stuff, and very entertaining. It did look like it was going to be a cricket score but in the end, final score was 5-1 to the Brakes - winning "The Tony Allden Memorial Trophy" who apparently got killed in a lightening storm many years ago.

On the plus side - we've now sorted out our supports club membership - and now fully paid up. YAY!

Ecky Thump - Just what to do ?!?

Next weekend, Leamington FC play Ossett Town in the 4th Qualifying round of the FA Cup - just outside of Leeds, my old stomping ground many years ago. So I'm a bit of a pickle to what to do. I have a couple of days left in holiday from work - so could take Friday and Monday off, and spend time around the place, and with John and Debbie visiting John's folks straight after the game, I've come to the following options.

• Drive up and Drive back down after the game
• Stay in Leeds friday and catch up with some old friends around Horsforth and Pudsey
• Go up to newcastle friday, come back saturday via Ossett
• Go to Ossett, then up to newcastle - come back Monday
• Go up with Bluntarian and Headworth and sham around Leeds and try showing them around my old places

One thing is for sure, I do miss the damp wooden smell of Headingly - esp this time of the year.

John's superdooperfantasticalldaybeersesssion #2

To celebrate John's birthday, he arranged a chinese buffet meal, followed by an all day session around NE leamington. Not only had I sat through a dismal game and watching the "mightly" wigan and their 12th and 13th men (Ref and Lines man) triumph against the lowly minnows of Newcastle United, but also had to battle around town to get a) home and b) back into town. Rich and I eventually arranged to meet up with John and his now fed gang in a pub, while I sorted my sham out and Rich fed himself - and in between, arranged to meet none other than Captain Bluntarian.

So there we were, heading into an area of town, which if you're honest, you dont very often - sadly - its a nice area - and my fav pub from last year, the (Jimmy) Sommerville where the bulk of the Team were playing pass the pigs. Two pints heavier, we moved onto the Holly Bush, then the Cask at which point Rich made his excuses and left. All the way way back in the Sommerville, Captain Bluntarian was suggesting a curry, as he was starving, only eating a babybell since he got back from Canada - and it was a quest getting closer to his goal heading slowly down town. We popped into the Newbold Brasserie for a final drink, then into Milleniyummy for our meal - which was very very nice.

The group was getting smaller and smaller by the second - MC and Laura ended up going home to try on some oils or something - Garry reckson they were lezzing up, then by the time we got to the Jug, it was down to John, Debbie, Captain Bluntarian, Gav, Tracy and I. At this point, drink had deffo kicked in and the "Brian Blessed says ..." game kicked in. Photos were taken of the event, including two girls necking off with each other (Debbie, you still have to send me as promised) and "xyz looking angry and evil" photos. Last orders were ran, and we got into trouble for calling last orders as Brian Blessed would have ("Ahhh, Flash, Time gentlemen PLEEEASE") and ended up on the street. John and Debbie wandered in the direction of home - and being 00:30 - Myself and Blunty tried to get into the Well, only to be told by the bouncer that we were already an hour late and they couldnt let us in, although they did know that we were regulars and have seen us around before.

After 5 mins and being persistant like a pitbull and a small child's leg, they suggested that the Police were watching them because of some incident and would love to let me in, however they couldnt let me in the front door. I suggested that maybe the backdoor was left open and we could accidently fall in. Blunty just laughed and said that this had now chance of working out - and the chances are, they would all be laughing at us, from the other side of a locked door - and us looking like fools. True to the mans word - we got around and with a grin on his face, the door was opened quickly and blunty being so impressed - 12 drinks would be coming my way.

The lovely ooffyy was there - purrr, and we had a chin wag and apparently I smell nice - which is a nice change to being told that im a "skanky crackwhore and I should get out the pub". She is deffo in my top 20 females I'd bite my own arm off to be with *starts nibbling*

I'm assuming we left when beverages ceased to flow - only based on the fact that I woke up in my bed this morning with a beating head and felt like a badger had slept in my mouth overnight. Oh well, Happy Birthday John!

Wi-gan'ing home with no points

I ended up drinking a bottle of wine lastnight and having a chat with an old friend on MSN - and after watching DVD and TV - it was about 1am when I got to bed. I wanted to get up at a decent time, get into town, sort some stuff out - and have enough time to watch the Wigan - Newcastle down the Well, before hooking up with John for his annual birthday all day beer session around North East Leam.

I slept in, sleeping thru two alarm calls, and eventually waking up to Debbie asking if I wanted to join her on her Saturday trip to the gym. I declined and made myself a cuppa and read the news papers online - eventually getting a shower and recieving a text from Rich with Nintendogs in it - all very strange. I even told him about a strange dream I had, where he and I were in a lecture at a uni, where the tutor was playing music and asking the class to name the band and song - Rich and I won.

I met Rich down the well (well, I was about 5 mins late) and from the look he was giving me - I knew we were under pressure already. I ordered some food and sat down and we chinwagged about the state of football, the state of the high street in leam etc etc.

Just before half time, Wigan managed to score from a deflection of Shay Given - which should have been saved in my opinion - and my mood got gradually worse. The "Ref" looked like he was on the Wigan payroll by some of the decisions he was making - very very poor, again in my opinion. You just know when luck isnt on your side, when shearer clearly headed a ball over the line - only for the aging linesman to disagree.

Anyhoo, insert loads of crap decisions and 30 mins of poor passing and the final result (1-0) took Wigan to 2nd in the league - only for Ben (bar dude) to gloat alot in my face. Ended up coming home to get dressed for this afternoon and awaiting a call from John etc to where to meet them.

Hope my mood improves - football misery is taking over, slowly

Loosing something, and its not my marbles

I took an old friend out lastnight for a drink and a meal. Appears it was her birthday last week and she just returned from her holiday - she was due to have a session lastnight - but due to a number of people cancelling, I felt bad and asked her out to be sociable. There was nothing in it - whatsoever - and after being reminded on how great her Irish bf is - I knew this would be completely plutonic from now on - even telling her to behave herself at the up and coming Xmas Party at work.

Anyhoo, she managed to cheer me up by saying that I've lost weight - crazy how some simple things and words can mean alot to someone. I've never been confident about myself that much, and always paranoid what people think and say to me - some of which I just laugh and shrug off - but was nice to get a compliment such as that.

Anyhooo, after a quick pint in the Jug, then a Pizza and bottle of wine and Piccolino's - we returned to the Jug for a quick chat, and she was off to see her bf - so I returned home - had a bottle of old speckled hen - and ended up in a coma.

Happy Birthday Mum

~~~~ Happy Birthday !! ~~~~

wot no glory hunters ?

You knew from the off, it was going to be a wet, cold night - as soon as I left my flat, it started spitting with rain - but the optimist that I am, I thought it would blow over. Luckily I wore my winter jacket - well I say winter jacket, I havent worn it for two years due to the warmth of Warwickshire. I buzzed John (Debbie couldnt make it due to work) and give him a lift up - armed with his sensible umbrella and sporting a massive grin.

Anyhooo, tonight was Leamington v Oldbury (remember, we lost 4-1) in the Birmingham County Senior Cup (Round 2 - we got a bye in the first round) and the away players turned up in jumper suits - looking like something out of a Beastie Boys video. We were 1-0 by half time and it looked like easing up (even then still looking on the brightside of life). The first touch in the second half went in the back of the net to make it 2-0 to the brakes - nanoseconds before hand, a bunch of kids said, "Thats a shit freekick and will never go in"

" We hate racing, we hate racing, we hate racing .... we hate racing"

We made it 3-0, then endured 15 mins of pressure - and heavy rain - and with a couple of minutes of normal time left - we were pegged back to 3-2 by some terrible defending and we started to take our mind off the game. Luckily for us, the Ref was getting soaked and blew the whistle for full time - punting us through to the next round. 273 people attended (more than NUFC v MUFC reserves - so I'm told) so a massive dive from the glory hunting "fans" from the FA Cup Qualifier at the weekend - but still brilliant. On top of that, we've applied for Supporter's Club Membership - so need to find out more about that shortly.

Does have to be said tho, although we were out in the rain (I dont mind the rain, John was stood clutching his umbrella) - hats off to the two lads at the North Bank side of the ground who sang their hearts out who got even damper than what I was.

Vote Rodman : Brakes Party

The FA have announced the voting for the 3rd Qualifier Player of the Round - and luckily, Leamington FC's Rodman has been included in the voting. The vote goes on until next Monday - but more importantly the winner of the round gets 1000 quid to spend on football gear for a local school, community group. Please logon to www.thefa.com and cast your vote.

Rodman, a winner!

If the process is the same as last year - then Rodman also gets invited to the FA Cup Final as VIP and wins a trophy - THINK OF THE KIDS!!!

He's currently in at around 40% of the votes - with Peters and Booth fighting it out a close 2nd - make it count.

Anger Management - Stefan Style

Another stressful morning, however, rather than taking it out on my PC, colleagues or randomly abusing people - I decided to use it to my advantage and take it out on the gym kit - after all, I pay 30 odd quid a month for the priv of a building being there. Over the last 3 years of gyming, I've done a "12 minute running/walking/run every minute program" and eventually just gets a little boring. I wanted to get a little more stamina in my legs so I could run around in football for longer, faster and not be completely worn out at the end.

Next to the 12 minute program, there was a 24 minute program, so assumed it was similar, however, 4 mins into the new program, I was well into some cross country exercise - with steep inclines, quick drops simulated by the running machine. I dont pretty well, got up to 22 mins without stopping, but needed a break as it went into its final decline - or I would have just fallen off the machine - so there you go, nearly 3 mile in 24 mins and the back of my leg muscles aching.

When I got back, I had the offer for an offsite meeting down the boozer - however, sticking to diet soft drinks, I was starving and tucking into a bacon and melted cheese sandwich at The Cape - MMM - it was nice, but didnt really feel the benifit of the exerise.

Anyhoooo, when I got back to my gaff, I closed the front door, knacking the lock - and having to spend 20 mins fixing that - obviously finding strength I never knew I had. Once I returned to my laptop to work - I felt slightly more relaxed and hardly any vains popping out of my forehead - although, they some how moved to my legs :o/

Back to Basics : An event for one and all.

Stefan Warburton is happy to announce the following event - Back to Basics 2005. The event is aimed any male and females, young and old - and its trying to get everyone back to basics and back to nature. I now bring you, official commando day of the year 2005, that not only gives you have the opportunity to reduce the washing for a day or so, but also gives you the opportunity to walk around with a smile on your face.

Thanks to Captain Cowie, the following official graphics have been designed so you can show your support to Back to Basics 2005 - the idea is, you add this to your MSN / Yahoo / websites / blogs. You can use the comment field on this blog to leave your url, name and address to show your support. An email address has been setup if you require assistance or pledge your support to the event backtobasics2005@hotmail.co.uk - once we get comments of support and encouragement, I'll post a selected number on the website.

Be one with nature again ...

Back to basics - for boys
Back to basics for girls

The official date for Back to Basics 2005 is from :

Friday 21st October -> 23rd October

Magic Of the Cup : Attracts Glory Hunters :- SHOCK

The long awaiting 3rd qualifier round of the FA cup took place today. Leam FC were at home to Woodford United. Now, we've started going to home games (and away) this season, we've attended the FA Cup since the first round, and its fair to say, the crowds have got a little larger - the last round attracted roughly 500 people - however todays crowd doubled that, plus a little bit more. Needless to say, if the weather was a little better (ie, not pissing it down, raining cats and dogs & rain rain, go away, come back another day) and there wasnt an England International - the figures could have been even bigger. Anyhoo, we turned up just after 2 and the carpark was starting to fill up - obviously the regulars had the same idea - get in before the glory hunters turn up.

The Magic of the FA sand Cup

We went to the club shop (Shed) where they must have had the knitting machine on overtime - as there was actually club stuff you could buy - scarfs, football tops, etc etc. Myself, John and Debbie purchased a scarf each to keep the wind from our faces, the water from dripping into our tops and of course - to support the team we dearly love. BBC Coventry & Warwickshire have also obviously started on the "Leam doing well in the FA Cup" bandwagon, by sending a van over with a couple of reporters - and the local police shamming around by taking away the chairman's job of directing traffic out of the ground after the game - apart from that, all they done was watch the game, tap up two local babes and drink tea.

The game it self started off pretty quietly and even stevens for the first 10 mins, with Leam getting in early with an attempt, then a goal chalked off at the other end for a foul on our keeper. We ended up scoring, from a free kick, just as news that england had scored a pen - one of their players got sent off and they continued to push for an equaliser. Towards full time, you could see the glory hunters just leaving, only to miss a brilliant bit of play, a through ball leaving us one on one with the keeper - making it a final score of:-

Leamington 2 - Woodford United 0

Worship the sugar coated god!

The weekend - at least - and thank the lord for it. I'm ready for the weekend in so many different ways - the sleep in, the football, the shopping, and most importantly, happy friday. My wrist still knacks from football on thursday lunch time, so its making typing a little harder, so what better way than to celebrate happy friday, then to go to the chinese. We went to the chinese on park street - it used to be home to my fav restaurant in leamington - the italian - however now been sold and reopened up as a chinese. Its the first time i've been there, so I was looking forward to it - its also been a while since I've had a chinese in town, so it was a nice change. For some reason, Brian Blessed came up in conversation, so we decided to order our food, in the style of Brian Blessed, in his character form from Flash Gordon

Ahhh Flash, Fried Rice for me please

With John's starter - there came a little sugary coated character - which I then pronounced the Sugar Coated God. Debbie licked it, and turned mad, while we ate our food and drank beer. Food was very nice, and reasonably priced too - would deffo go again - only to see the Sugar Coated God - mmm praise him!

We ended up in the Jug (passing the lovely ooffy on the way down - purrr), and we were joined by Mr Ian, to make it a group of four - Rich was going to come down, but was at home tucking into a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio and keeping warm more than likely. After the 3rd bottle of wine, people being man handled while being chucked out the Jug for ;

• drinking their own booze
• being far too boozed up
• being barred and still drinking in ther jug

I was feeling a little worse for wear, so was pretty pleased when they called last orders, however they decided to tell jokes on the mic - some of which a) didnt make sense, b) didnt make me laugh or c) didnt form a joke. I mumbled and talked about the sugar coated god again, then we headed home, thankfully.

I must have recieved a text to which I replied to one, then attempted to reply to the 2nd text - but due to my state - fell asleep with the phone on my bed - nice.

Anyhoooo, a nice wake up call from Scott and his missus, handing me a present - maple syrup from Canada - my own Sugar Coated God - mmmm. The offer is now out for a sexy lass to be covered in it, failing that, by the end of month, I'll bath in it myself - mmm

Stung!

I was on the phone to my boss yesterday afternoon, and due to the nature of modern technology, I was able to take my phone outside onto the patio and discuss things in the future, what we can do to improve work etc. Working from home that afternoon, I decided to chill from the suit, tie and shirt and work in shorts and football top

Anyhoo, at some point during the phone call, I felt a sharp pain in my arse - but thinking nothing of it. After we finished, I sat down to feel my ass throbbing pretty badly and on inspection, it appears that I was stung on the arse. I'm currently walking around with a massive Elastoplast (r) on my ass to cushion some of the pain and keeping it clean.

Conclusion - Wasps, even, kill them all!

Early Alarm Clock and Two Goals

Today was an early start, text messages from people at none o'clock, but also started proactively - ending up in sommerfield before 9am to purchase stuff like milk, cerial, and of course chocolate. I've been pretty good food wise this week, apart from when myself and Rich ended up down the boozer for a swift one on Tuesday - yet, it was still diet coke for me, and he had Smirnoff Ice. I got to the situation where I needed something sugary, so ended up getting some malteser style chocolate - but mint chocolate balls - mmmm..

I ended up popping over to Warwick for around 12:30 to play football with the rest of the usual group - so warmed up, went in goal while others took pens - I only let 2 in - however only 4 balls went near me and/or the goal.

We kicked off with one person extra in our team, which made it a little easier - well in theory, until they decided to reduce the size of the pitch to half width of 5 aside which made it narrow and passes needed to be exact - something my skill doesnt allow. I'm a more of a 'see space on target - the blast the damn thing and hope the keeper cant get to it' After my first touch of the ball, I was chasing down a ball about to go out, but got blocked by the opposition, so ended up shoulder barging him - in reply I got a barrage of abuse (to which he said sorry to later on) - but there was true anger management needed by him at that point.

EAT MY GOAL!!! - Collapsed Lung

Our team couldnt gel correctly, mainly due to the showboating of a certain welsh student who was more mouthy than Mr Mouth from Mouthville in Mouthcity. The net (no pun intended) result was us falling behind. With about 30 mins left, we were 4-1 down, but then a bit of luck, managed to get on a throughball, hit the ball which came off the keeper, rebounded back into my path, ready to be tapped into the net. We came back strongly, getting a couple more, taking my personal tally to two - although we started to conceed due to the counter. Anyhow, on the "last goal is worth 10 goals" rule - we managed to win and I'm starting to feel stamina in my legs a little more and running around more - just need to work out how to play football and pass now - DAMN IT.

Director Warburton!

We had our house meeting lastnight - and technically, the first one i've either attended, or attended in full due to random obligations. Anyhoo, rather than having it in someones flat like its traditionally been done before, I suggested we do it down the boozer. This gave the opportunity to have a) a meeting and b) be near flowing alcohol and c) there was live music on in the jug and jester. I popped in on the way down to pick up John (debbie was going to meet us later on) and we got ourselves a pint in, only to be interupted by the comedy duo of Rich and Aido.

We had our funky meeting, we chinwagged and got to know our neighbours - made minute meetings and continued the flow of guiness on an empty stomach - then it went a little mad and myself and debbie laughed about the club Mirage and meeting Adrian (didnt turn up) for the first time - much to the bemusement of the rest of them.

Anyhoo, we went down to the bottom bar, had ribbons tied around our arms to prove that we paid 2 quid entry and listened to fantastic music - the first dude was some pianist/singer, then there was lots of funny singing about dont drink cider, then someones birthday band - to be honest, I lost interest after my 4th pint of guiness and reminded myself of injustices of the world

The End...

Leamington Against Drugs

After walking around town today, I'm pleased that Warwickshire county council is taking the hard approach on drugs in our towns and hamlets. This sign is obviously warning street walkers and passerbys that you shouldnt do "coke"

" Whitelines - dont do em"

It had to happen in the end!

John and Debbie invited me over to Coalville to watch the away game of Leamington's continued up and down league season. I really wasnt sure if I was going to make it, esp after we had a healthy happy friday.

I eventually woke up around 11:30 from a good night sleep, mainly down to 2 shared bottles of wine and alot of exercise, and decided, what the hell. So, anyhoo, we ended up on the way up to Coalville via the M1 - driving through the old mining village, which looks like its grown over the years, but still has the mining look to the shops and houses. All very interesting I'm very sure, however it did look a little depressing as the streets were surrounded by chavs, teenagers with kids in pushchairs etc

We parked on an estate around the corner from the Coalville ground and it was already getting pretty nippy. Some associates of John reckon that as soon as it hits the cooler end of the year, we wouldnt attend the matches, this is the telling time - but armed with scarf - and this week - boxer shorts we paid out 5 quid ( FIVE QUID!!!) to get in and I went directly to the food stand to get a burger and tea - as I hadnt eaten all day and needed defrosting.

We sat in the covered seating area - and it was out the wind, however shaded by the sun, so chillier. We conceded a goal from a freekick, and you just get the feeling that the midweek FA Cup replay going into extra time and pen's had a jaded effect on the players. Coalville definately took the heavy handed approach to the game, one of their midfielders getting a yellow card by "taking" out our right winger within 5 mins. There is something very scary when you hear the clash of leather on leather (no kinky thoughts) and studs on studs (no kinky thoughts) - always makes me wince.

John getting rather passionate and excited at the 1st shot on target

This continued til around 15 mins left in the 2nd half, when subs were made - and players were playing in their correct positions (from left back to striker - surely that has an effect on someones ability to run with the ball) and we started to pass more than one pass together - having about 3 or 4 shots on target.

All in all, a very disappointing game, as the final whistle blew, the rain started to come down - pretty much sums the game up really - dark, dank, misey.

Final Score Coalville 1 - Leam FC 0

Just a nice 60 min drive back home now - hohum

exercise! great for the soul, and so is a bottle of wine

I somewhat stupidly agreed to meet debbie down the gym after work lastnight, in an attempt to tone myself up a little more. I've already played football for 2.5 hours this week, and due to feeling a little under the weather on monday/tuesday, I never attended the gym then. Pretty impressive, even tho my shins were completely in pain and agony, I still managed to score 4 goals within 2 games, one was a 25 yarder which I managed to connect very sweetly - mmm sweets.

Anyhoooo, as the stress of Friday went on ... I was looking more and more forward to getting down the pub and getting lashed up - however, true to my word, I headed up to the gym for the agreed 4pm - only to find that debbie wasnt there - grrr.

I managed to knock another 20 seconds off my running a mile - which pleased me, then headed to the jacuzzi and sauna to chill out, still no debbie. After 5 mins in the sauna and temperatures of 110 oC+ I returned to the pool area, only to see Debbie there, laughing at my some what red face. I done some weights after the running, so swimming was a little painful - and the effects of being pushed onto my back on wednesday night was starting to toll.

Anyhoo, we discussed what healthy happy friday should be based around, and we decided, that we should give Zizzi Zizzi's another try after the last attempt of being told to come back even tho there were spaces and spare tables. We done just that, again, told that we would have to wait to up to 30 mins - even tho there were around 5 spare tables, becare they were "booked". We politely told the bloke to fuck off, then headed to Ask Pizza place, and had a lovely meal there.

After the meal and being forced not to have ice cream, John, Debbie and I headed back to the bottom of town, and the Jug and Jester, where Rich turned up to join a sociable one. Rich and John discussed the robot's name from battle of the planets (nono or something) while sporting their geeky tshirts (Ocean and Space invaders). Loads of lovely attractive students now piling in - although lastnight was about relaxing.

We returned back to Canal House Luxury apartments * to find some chav tucking into a plastic bag full of booze (Primus I think) and when he got the hint, he moved on to somewhere else. A park, or down by the canal probably - joined by all the other Leam Chavs. I had some Morgan Spiced Rum - then entered a Coma

Chelsea Football club, Chelsea Buns, Now Chelsea in Leamington

After the Champions League* game lastnight of Liverpool Chelsea (*Warning, Champions League doesnt play host to Chesterfield nor Newcastle United) - and the obvious way it was going to be 0-0 at full time (well, only to Captain Johno who had money on it- while I had 2-1 and Rich had 3-0), its time for a different Chelsea. No, not the flowershow either, but Captain Scott has his bird flying over from Canada to stay with him. YAY! I've never actually met her, but she's in for a surprise after I flat shared with Scott for 6 or so years!

Chelsea - not really named after a simple minds record.

Anyhooo, welcome to the UK and our quirky ways - we drink tea here, dont you know - and wheres my maple syrup!!!

Howay the Lads (Leam win 4-2 on Pens)

The match report just appeared on one of the websites - sadly I couldnt make it tonight - however it appears we're through to the next round of the FA Cup. COME ON!

3rd Round Qualifier :: The Magic of the FA Cup

Just checking the FA official website, and it looks like they've drawn the next round (based on the fact that Leam beat Oadby tonight (about to kick off in 7 mins time) in the replay.

15 Leamington or Oadby Town v Redditch United or Woodford United

If indeed we do get through to the next round, not only do Leam recieve 5K for winning that game, we'll have to get up there at 9am that morning as even the last round proved to be successful for the club and popular with the local community - glory hunters!

Also, keeping a small eye on my "local" teams from up North, Dunston Fed Brewery play Thornaby in a replay and face Leek Town in the 3rd Q round.

The Magic, Of the Cup!

Yesterday was the 2nd round prim of the FA Cup against Oadby- and John & Debbie give me the nod and a wink that it was going to be pretty busy, so we needed to set off earlier than normal - to ensure we got a space, both in the car park and at the match. We got there pretty early and had vital "close to the exit" car parking spaces and due to the fact that John's mate Steve S, and Ian Hogster joined us, we had to take two cars - John parked close to mine - to test the sliding door / exit protocol with the Brakes Bus II. Forgetting he still had to open his doors, he squeezed his stomach in a little more than he needed too and shoe horned himself out between two wing mirrors.

We got to the match and was glorious sunshine, and the cardboard FA cup was in place next to all the flags at the backend of the ground. It soon filled up, and the practice pitch was being used as a car park - and yet, people still came in. I saw Jim who I play Thursday football with, who gave his Cov ticket away to come see the magic of the cup. When we had diet coke to drink, we estimated the attendance - it appears that my guess was FOUR (4) out from the total given at half time - good guess huh ?

Anyhoo, kick off went, and it just so happens that a number of times when I've been to get chips from the burger van, the Brakes have scored. I joked about this and went on my way with a skip in my step - just as I got served, the Brakes scored - thats 3 goals I've missed due to chips! (not the american police show). Anyhoo, the usual happened, the Brakes took their foot off the peddle (well, the Brakes) and ended up conceeding a goal.

Anyhoooo, final score - 2-2 and a replay on Tuesday up and Oadby. My opinion - should have been resolved in the first half. Match report can be found here and noticed that there is an update on the new official website here

Why oh Why oh Why!

Happy Friday continued as per normal lastnight, this time venturing to Pizza Express, then the usual haunt for wine. John didnt want a heavy night - due to the fact I think he burnt his candles enough lastnight going clubbing with the usual suspects (where as I was a good boy and skipped). However, after our first bottle of wine, I half expected John to pack up and go home - yet, he suggested we had another bottle of wine while he had a pint (medicinal, I assume).

When I returned home, I found a bottle of open wine from the night before and as it was only one glass full in total, I thought it would be a great idea - then came the 25 year old whisky and then the MSR. I then woke up around 2am on the sofa from an alcohol related coma to crawl into bed and fall asleep - with a huge beating head.

I woke up just after 11 from a text from Debbie asking if I wanted to go to the gym, flash backs of me suggesting we went swimming and gym'ing to be healthy from a conversation lastnight occurred - always bad. Bad Steve, no biscuit! I should learn to keep schtum - always when drinking. I sent one back saying no, but after sniffing my freshly brewed tea, I decided it was a good idea. I done some weights, and smashed my arm in a little more - though it didnt hurt as much as the other day. I then done some treadmill gubbins and putting it on level 9 (out of 12) - and managed 4 mins - although doing 1/3 of a mile in less time than normal. After feeling SOO dry and hungover from the night before, I joined Debbie in the swimming pool - managed 9 lengths and hopped into, what could have been the worst room you can think of going into when you're dry and hungover - the Sauna. Although it did make me chuckle when I saw it was made my Sven Sauna's - how stereotypical can you get ?!?

We then spent about 40 mins driving around Leamington, trying to get to Subway to get my lunch - only to find 98% of the roads blocked, closed or packed full of traffic. Nevermind 1 hour til the Brakes play in the FA CUP Prim 2nd round! yay!

101 things to do before you die :: Sports

I bought a book a year or so ago, in an attempt to continue *that* crazy side of my world, as well as adding a motivational side to a spiralling crap mentality that most IT employees are faced with - work work work, when you've worked - you work a little more. Anyhoo, yesterday we had what is now classed as my fav time of the week - the two hours of work where I get paid not to take shit and play football with random colleagues. It works pretty well, you get to warwick around 12:20 - we kick off at 12:30 - and we play, roughly for about 120 mins - or how the mood sets us.

Anyhooo, yesterday, we were playing bad - its commonly known that I hang around midfield most of the time, as part of that, we have the ability to have a counter act, the downfall is, you have one man less marking an attacker - but, being from newcastle, you cant have the defensive mind - simple as that. There was one lad who turned up, lost the ball, stood there - meaning i had to track back to defend - which is something i rarely do and you could see the regulars getting a little pissed.

Anyhow, with 5 minutes left, and us being 7-1 down, the organiser announced that the next goal is worth 7 goals. After hitting the ball over the secure fence about 4 times and my legs near enough stopping working. Captain midfield was still stuck in his pit of er, and me running box to box to compensate and starting to hurt. Anyhoo - a fantastic cross later and being in the right place at the right time, I managed to hook a ball from the right wing into the left hand corner of the goal - making it 8-7. Although the organiser tried to deny all knowledge of the "next goal is worth 7" - based on the fact he was on their team - you can agree, that is goal #55 - "Scoring the winning goal" completed.

Fancy a Duck ??

Not happy with having noisy ducks around on the canal 24 x7 - I now have my own e-Duck - welcome world to quacky mctwat!

adopt your own virtual pet!

SO Ironic, no ... really

I was faffing around on the T'inter-supehighway - when I found the following link - not only rubbing salt into wounds - I laughed so hard, my wounds nearly reopened.

Lucky for me, I havent managed to get a part time job in writing books, nor have I become a relationship advice councilor - so dont ask questions.

Lucky for us, there are a number of other publications - with "my" advice added to assist without having to purchase the books :-

• How to feel great about yourself - drink lots of Stella and Wine
• How to get back to work - stop drinking lots of Stella and Wine
• How to restore your life-work balance - Drink lots of Stella and Wine at lunch time & after work
• How to stop that bully - Kick him in the nuts!!

Aye Lad, Trouble Down T' Well

You know its a bad day, when you wake up and you cant remember much about lastnight, you know its a bad day when you find a flat cap next to the bed, and its certainly a bad day when your phone goes and someone is asking for the cap back. Luckily, I knew the caller and have to pop the cap back into the Well tonight on the way back from the gym.

Anyhoo, I managed to find this photo that I some how took lastnight in my boozed up state - just before I dippbed into MSR and Scrubs Vol II

Nora Batty's new mate - trouble down t' mill

This is day one of Rich being away - god help us over the next week!

I FEEL LIKE A DALEK INSIDE!

First song I listened too on iTunes this morning, was SMILE, by Supernaturals - today is the biggest game in the season for NUFC - we loose - we sack our manager (with a bit of luck), and still remain 1 point above the dirty mackem scummers. and 3 points adrift of the above pack. Once again, finding out that they sold me doubles lastnight, I was feeling a bit crap - bit stillll smiling.

I was about to put muffins under the grill to have some nutella - mm - when John (from next door) asked if I fancied going into town for lunch. After a shower and a change of clothes, my eyes started to see thru the slits - and met J&D on the street. We ended up in Toyk - first time I've been there and was very suprised how nice it was. I ended up having a breakfast muffin, which had fried egg ( not had for eons ), sausage, bacon and muffins (still makes me laugh) in the background - they had keane playing, so was pretty relaxing for a sunday "morning". After we all finished up, we went our seperate ways, J&D went to tesco's, I went back home to release the back and white strip for the first time this season in the public house. I ended up in the Well, Rich was gonna come over, but was with captain happirous, but was faced with student geordie folk - who were very friendly, looked after my pint.

After 45 mins of misery, abusive texts from Mike and Pippa about the state of the football club, we ended up 0-0 - thats 3 goals less than I expected to our disadvantage. Shearer scored a freekick at the edge of the box, then Owen scored while lighing a smoke to make it 2-0.. Captain Charles N'Zogbia scored a fantastic goal from close range, beating the keeper one on one. At that point Captain Johno joined me, we had a couple of pints and watched the Saints -v- Derby game - and we retired to our homes for 0.0000003 nano seconds, where we ended up in the pig and fiddle.

Getting into the pig is a different world - they are about to release the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe near Xmas - go to the Pig - its a different world altogether - without lions, witches or wardrobes. There was alot of people asking where I was from, what my name, and on England (got a funny look) and Steve - I was pronounced "one of them" after Saint Stephen. No, I dont know either!!

We ended up in the well, a little half cut, and listened to the end of the quiz. Ooffii (purr) was celebrating her birthday, so got her a drink in and we eventually had to leave, before a) I fell off the pool table after grinning so much or b) Captain John could see again thru the medium of finger puppets (Rich, did you take them with you??)

Anyhoo, somehow, I managed to walk home with a flatcap (no, I dont know either) and decided to update blog and sip Morgan Spiced Rum - mmm - this time, its the stuff that J&D brought back from america for me.

Anyhoooooooooooooo, 3 points, more than 3 pints, we've more than doubled our current goal tally, in 15th - and we now have a leading goal scorer of more than 1 - life is rosey.

Ironically, one of the last songs of the day - SMILE - oh, and I am for more than one reason!

Rich on *ANOTHER* holiday - BYE THEN

I felt rough from the night - a combination of thai food, wine and then - somehow, getting back and playing Colin McCrae Rally when blind drunk, then watching Scrubs Vol II til 2am. I recieved a text from EEN at 05:00 which disrupted my sleep and I felt like death warmed up.

After reading the news ONLINE I ended up popping into town, to grab some weekly food - ended up "passing" someone "unprofessional" in the street, and when I mean pass, it was pass, no eyes, no smile, no nod - just passing - great - so fuck that, fuck it all. Anyhoo, popped into town, bumped into a couple of friendly faces, no passing, bumping - which makes a nice change.

It was a swift in and out operation, I wanted to spend the afternoon to myself - football, PSP, sitting in the sun, listening to music - grinning like a fool - if I wanted too. Still no text from Sarah sadly, obviously she doesnt know there is a PM in Wharton world - but hey - balls in her court.

Although I did receive a text message from someone who told me to fuck off a couple of days ago, asking, since we "passed" in town, would we like to meet up - fuck that, fuck that for a right game of soilders. In between that, cleaning up and sorting myself out for the weekend, I recived two calls - I assume either to tell me to fuck off again, or asking me if I still wanted to meet up. Her secret will remain with me to my grave, it really will, but I'm not being fucked over again.

Rich was due to go on holiday tomorrow, and although he's been a little off colour, I thought it was only tradition to take him out for a couple of beers before hand - after all, if we went on holiday he'd come back "in pieces" according to a colleague of ours. Anyhoo, we ended up in the Well for a change, and propped up the bar ordering pints, which then went to shots, not knowing that when we ordered rounds, they were giving me doubles - nice - no, really. We had a good laugh, both myself and Rich didnt want a heavy night, mainly coz rich would have to sleep in his suit case as it was on his bed. So at the point where he couldnt "take anymore", sipping move of his "remaining" beverage and I'd sprayed him with my remaining MSR with DC laughing at him - we departed.

I ended up watching three episodes of scrubs, before I was about to pass out in a coma, not knowing what I had drank, who I spoke to on MSN or how many trees I had ran into in Colin Mc. Still ended up in bed with a huuuge smile on my face tho - interesting song stuck in my head tho - Barenaked Ladies and If I had a Million Dollars - still stuck in my head now - even had to download it from iTUNES. If I Had $1000000, I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkEEE?)

When a vase is a cup

Catching up with football is part and parcel with the weekend, Newcastle United arnt playing til Sunday afternoon - in a much need for 3 points, and the dirty mackem scummers are hoping to pull three points out of the West Brom hat. I was much pleased to find out that West Brom scored in the last minute of injury time, making it 1-1 - allowing NUFC to rest gently on top of them, with a game in hand. Lets hope we can get something out of the Blackburn game tomorrow - although, right now, not much hope of that. Nevermind tho, sour faced Scot (not Souness this time), Dalglish reckons we'll do better - makes it all right then, doesnt it

I managed to stick my brake's car sticker on thunderbird IIII today - looks pretty smart. Speaking of which, the Brakes were involved in cup action again today, in the FA Vase - where they beat Studley 1-0 right at the death. Match report can be found at Braking news - also noticed that the official webpage is starting to develop.