3 : The Magic Number

When I had a wander around town the other day, I made a number of purchases to entertain my wandering mind. Sir Bobby Robson's new autobiography (Farewell but not Goodbye) had just been released so was intent on getting that being a hero of mine - needless to say, thats on my list to read next after I've finished the current book.

I also purchased a couple of CDs - Kaiser Chiefs, to which I've downloaded a coouple of EP tracks from iTunes in the past, but never got the full album - this is a fantastic album and would recommend it to anyone - always good where ever you are - esp with and iPOD. I had a wander into WH Smiths in town, and spoke to Elliot (not from ET - "ELLLLIOT") who I know from the Well (I'm assuming - but once give me discount when I went in hungover) who recommended The Magic Numbers. It appears to have influences from The Sundays, The Beautiful South and also a little of The Thrills - but very good easy listening music.

Then I came into contact with the Budda of all TV Comedy DVD boxsets - Scrubs - Series 1 - MMMM. One of the funniest american comedies I have ever seen, with quotes such as :-

"If they took all the porn off the internet
there would only be one site left, and that would be called Bring Back The
Porn."

"The fact is that you are what you eat, and
you clearly went out and devoured a big fat man."

"Uhm, I'm sorry. Here I was in my own little
world, talking to myself, dreaming about candy bracelets."

"And you, you one-man freakshow, take your
blah-blah to the blah-blah-psychologist, because if you are so stupid to
confront the chief of medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've
just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk
at the wheel. "

Exclusive :: Doctors Opinion

I had the blood tests for Zinc, Iron, Bone, Vit D, Blood Count and numerous other tests last Tuesday, and today I had to go pick the results up. To be brutely honest, I've been bricking my pants for the last week, and regardless of the outcome of today, it would be better than not knowing. So, you can imagine my face when I get to the quacks and its closed for lunch - meaning I had to dillydally around town for 45 mins - and there is only so much dillydallying around you can do when you dont want to spend any money.

So, upon returning to the quacks, I spoke to the receptionist, who took my details, plonked her glasses on the end of her nose and typed away with her index finger. Looking up at me, down to her PC, then back at me announcing that I was "Normal". Of course I couldnt stop laughing, and telling her that she was the first person for about 3 decades to say I was Normal. We had some crack (not the drugs, obviously, that would be just wrong) and she read out the results:

• Zinc : Normal
• Liver : Normal (Oh how I laughed)
• Kidney : Normal
• Blood Count : Normal
• Vit D : Normal

So to conclude ... Normal ... but still a little worrying - something a little healthy eating wont resolve, I'm sure.

Drunk and in charge of ... The Internet ?

When I got back in, I recall chatting to my music mogal chum, Any - formally of Collapsed Lung and now of Junior Blanks. I was a little wasted, but we had a random convo - to which i suggested he and his Blank Chums come do a gig at the Well (yes, must have been really wasted) - and he said he would have a think. He give me a url to take a look at, which resulted in me seeing his baldy football heed, and turns out its his online photo album. He logged out and left me to the dregs of my Stella can, then I assumed, crawled to bed - however, waking up in the morning, I'd registered to the same site as Ant and started to upload some of my photos - cool eh ?

Anyhoooooo, here we go ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/docwharton/

Sometimes I scare myself!

You Better Smile!!!!

Lastnight, Captain Rich asked if I fancied a couple of late night beers - and who am I to turn down such an offer - so armed with money, shoes and our drinking pack - we hit the Well. It was a bit of a strange night - hot but cold, dry but wet and drunken although a sobering experience. Johno and Blunty were invited as per the norm, however Johno was at the flicks (with his lass - we assume) and Blunty didnt respond - probably due to the fact his battery ran out after being powered on - so we drank like merry souls that we are. Scary Connor turned up with one of the lads who was on my Go Karting team - so we talked football for a while - well technically, I slagged of Man Utd and the state (no pun intended) of Sir Alex and his All Stars.

A little later, cockney comments such as "Both he and his carving knife were shocked when one of their sausepan lids ran away from home" and "He was getting on her West Hams, she gave him the Samuel Pepys. It was clearly the White Cliffs behind them". Anyhoo, after managing to work out it was Jo behind the bar inviting us to a birthday party downstairs in the Well in a couple of weeks time, we managed to get a couple free beers out of them, we nodded and agreed to put it in our Davy Crockett (Pocket) as a reminder.

I can only describe the next episode as drunken, strange and part of the tales of the unexpected - one regular patron came up to me and said "Steve, I think you're a funny lad and I respect you, but sometimes I dont think you like me, maybe even think of me as a bit of a c*nt" After trying to keep a grin off my face without laughing in his face, I told him I thought he was a "c*nt" - but I also thought alot of people were, so for him not to worry about it.

Moments later, one of his partners in crime came over and started having a go at me, saying how I should "be happy", "shouldnt bitch about people" and "how he didnt respect me". After a couple of moments of silence while blood was boiling to my brain, I kindly suggested that he didnt blame his mum, dad and family for his misgivings, how I was happy on the inside, and it was only because he was there, that my exteria wasnt beaming and also, the fact that I had a proper job, earned good money and had friends and family to make me happy. He was like a rabbit in headlights, when he tried to drag Rich into the conversation, of which Rich, managed to successfully put the lid on his box and shutting him up for good. He then walked away stuttering and stammering claiming how we were "good friends" at one point.

Anyhooooo, using our Well secret and magical key, we ended up staying for a couple of swifties, before we could barely stand, bumping into scary connor (tm) outside and taking the piss. We managed to get to Sommerfield, where we saw a miserable looking figure stammering up the hill, turns out its Character Assasin #2 - to which, both me and Rich shouts "You want to be happy, cheer up you morky chuff". You see, i might not look happy all the time, but my merry little brain world is constantly ticking making me grin inside - sometimes too much (Emily knows random stuff that makes me laugh - beep beep beep).

Sex, Drugs & Sock and Roll

Well not so much of the Sex, Drugs and the Roll ... but... after a very stressful and destressing week, due to work, and personal issues - which I wont go into, what better way to chill, than sorting out clothes. It's commonly known that I have 100s of pairs of socks, thus, I can go months without needing to wash or sort out socks. However with my new plan of healthy living and cleaning up - I decided to attack this pile of socks and other items of clothing. 30 mins later, I was still sorting socks out, and getting extremely bored - and yet, still not making a dint into the sock pile.

Anyhoo, after completing the tidy up, I return to my fantastic brand new PC to complete the migration of my old music and photos over to the new hard drive. Basically, the new PC came with 80Gb SATA disk - which means you cant directly plug an IDE drive in the chain, so cunning Steve unplugged one of the DVD drives (1 of 2) and plugged that into the chain. However (and not wanting to be nerdy) the folders were locked down to my old PC user and computer ID - so had to faff around with some Windows XP management, changing file permissions and taking ownership of folders and drives. Eventually I managed to suck all my music across, repopulate my iPod rather than having to reImport all my CDs to iTunes.

Its not the winning, its the taking Kart! (Damn you Winners!)

Northern Vicky is due to leave us (from work - not from the planet, although sometimes we do wonder) so rather than having a stereotypical IBM leaving do, she arranged a gokarting night out. I've never done this, however, I was still able to drive, unlike Rich, who was the source of most of the jokes for the night (he doesnt have a licence, car or the ability to drive), but I was quite looking forward to it. Vicky had originally divided the teams up into groups of mates, I was originally with Rich, Johno (had a glint of insanity in his eyes lastnight), his lass, and someone else who I dont think anyone can rememeber. Wynne managed to get hold of the plans, and, in my opinion, designed a winning formulea claiming to be "splitting the girls and the fat blokes around the teams". Thankfully for me, there was a slightly larger bloke in our new team - Wahoo - I'm not an IBM Fatty!!

Anyhooo, after some rather disturbing and depressing news (good luck Sarah) about 20 mins before we got there, I was determined to have a great time, get us a trophy, and hit the pub as quickly as possible. One of the disadvantages of doing a night like this, then hitting the pub, is lack of food, which results in people getting very drunk, very quickly - but luckily no one was drinking at the track (that we're aware of).

We were given our protective outfits, Rich and I looked like painting decorators - while Fursal looked like a Teletubbie, and then given an introduction and education video - giving pointers such as :-

• That hot engine behind you - dont put your hands on it
• Don't get out the kart while the race is going on unless you're in the pits
• Don't press the break and the accelerator peddles at the same time
• Zulu's, 100s and 1000s of em & Don't shoot to you see the whites of their eyes
• 1st rule of Kart Club, you dont talk about Kart Club

After ignoring all the instructions due to laughter, we headed out for our 15 mins practice run, where we lost one of our team members. I decided to put some IBM management around the team, made sure that we all understood the rules of the team, tactics, who was doing what, and ensuring we had someone flagging for a pitt stop. After 5 mins of looking for the missing guy, turns out he's having a nice little spin on the track - while we're still trying to work out simple stuff. Anytime someone crashed into the barrier, they halt the race by showing red lights all over the gaff, which confused a few people, but also puts other people at an advantage if they are about to over take you, and someone else around the course has a crash.

Anyhoo, after faffing around, remembering the rules and regulations, we're 4th to start, quickling hitting 2nd spot, then disaster, one of our guys get told to return to the pits - for having his helmet not completely closed (the video told us not too). I raced to the car, getting checked over by the lovely northern vicky, then get into the Kart, only to be told to return to the pits for my helmet not being done up. In this siutation, whenever you get told to return to the pits, you get 3 laps deducted - so of course, we're being lapped while we're in the pits faffing around - plus these random ones they are taking off. At this point we're something like 9 laps down, and no real way of getting back into the race. We started to catch up, then again, my turn - and I made sure that my helmet was tied up - only to be told to return to the pits for the same reason. The bloke checked it, apologised and said he'd give me a lap back - er thanks - wasting my time, and my teams time!!!

Anyhow, insert loads of time, Rich feeling sick after flying around corners at high G-Forces (not the Battle of the Planets here boss), Vicky deciding she can get around tight corners without breaking EVER, and JT & Wynne's tactics paying off and winning by about 10 laps - we came last, by a long way.

Vicky, still trying to take tight corners without breaking, and VK Blue in hand. [ source : Rich Headworth. ]

We returned to Leamington, and hit the Jug and Jester - after the bad news, I decided to get drunk quickly, so picked up a bottle of white wine to myself and started to sink that. People started to regroup in the beer garden, and loads of female IT students looked pretty nice (not due to the wine) and we had a good old chinwag. The students went to Sugar, the older more responsible people went to TJs - I went home to slip into my wine based coma.

The final placings were:

1st - JT, Wynne, Emily, Keely, Blunty

2nd - Fursal, Jermaine, Tobes, Rich, Louise

3rd - Dave, John'O, Alys, Shaun, Sophie

4th - Edith, Baxter, JP, Mike, Rich

5th - Vicky, Wayne, Steve, Will, Neil

Good Lucky Vicky, You're humour and personality will be missed, along with your crisp sandwiches.

First rule to Medicine club, you don't talk about Medicine Club

You may or may not know, but I'm a Doctor Who fan .. and I'm not afraid to mention it. After searching this here super inter connected webby highway, I found some photos of the new Doctor, David Tennant, and the ever so lovely Billie Piper. Appears they've moved from the "I'm the Doctor, a little on edge and could flip at anytime - oh and look at my leather jacket, isnt it nice" look to Geek Chic.

I'd like to get into Billie's Box! - fnar

Don't know if its on purpose, but it appears this is more mysterious and a little darker - 'Rose' appears not to be wearing the bright colours of the last series. I really do want a TARDIS for my patio tho!

1st Rule of Share Club, You dont talk about Share Club

A couple of years ago, I invested in Newcastle United PLC shares by bunging in 400 quid or something, each share was around 21p. Oh how my mother laughed at me, she made sure that she put her point forward that I would never make any money, and it was a stupid thing to do, and if I wanted a some shares - I should have just got a couple as a fan. However, I very rarely listened to my mother, so armed with my filofax and 80s style cell phone and purchased them.

I've been recieving healthy divi returns ever since, anything from 20 quid to 35 quid every half year - not bad really - pays for a pizza and a couple of drinks - who can complain?

Anyhoo, turns out there is "talk" about some invester coming in and buying the club, bumping up the share price in turn. I know we're not talking Wall Street here, but this is nearly 3 times what I paid for them - and the highest price for about 5 years.

WHO IS LAUGHING NOW MOTHER?!? Technically her, probably

Newcastle Shares as of COB today - looks more like the skyline of NY City

I dont know what does happen if there is a buyout, if the price of shares drop if they payout to take it back into a private company, rather than a public limited company - maybe I need to get some money matters advice from someone, probably Rich over a pint.

Grand Theft Auto : Leamington Spa

After attempting to get an early night - you know - start the week off as you mean to go on - I was awoken by a massive smashing noise, followed by the noise of an alarm going off. I could only assume that someone was trying to ramraid the computer shop over the bridge, but about 30 seconds later, screaching of tyres and another massive bang. I decided to bung some shorts, tshirt and trainers on to have a scan - just incase someone was hurt, so wandered up to street level at Ranalegh Terrace - where next door was hanging out the window on the phone to the police and I was met in the pouring rain by my two neighbours (Kerry and the lovely Jo).

Appears some boozed up idiot had decided to drive home, coming around the corner at high speed, must have hit too much rain water, smashed into some punto, which crashed into the 4x4 in front of it (smash #1). In an attempt to cover up, the boozed up fool must have tried to get away, only to wheel spin, hitting a 2nd 4x4 diagonally opposite just outside my place (missing Jo's car - and luckily for me, John and Debbie's too). Not content with smashing into these automobiles, he must have tried to get away for a 2nd time, smashing right into the body of another car, where the wheels and suspension on his must have just given up. When I got out and had a look, there was some bloke (owner of the 4x4 possibly) was dragging the bloke out of the car as he was trying to escape again, although, this time by foot - litterally - as he wobbled around in circles.

5 minutes later - there were police swarming all over the gaff. Here was us, me in shorts and tshirt in the pouring rain, Jo in her PJs with no shoes on, and Kerry concerned about her car inches away from where they were. I went to get umbrellas and a pair of shoes for Jo to stand in rather than her catching death of cold (Jeez, I am getting old, I'm using phrases like that now) - We watched 3 chavs walk around the corner, being twats as BAU, not working out the police were around, shouting louder and louder - then walking around the drunk's car trying to work out what happened, screaming, "Has there been a crash?". Probably more suprised that they couldnt actually steal the car, they wandered off headbutting random objects and trying to flirt with their chips.

After working out that Kerry's car was actually OK, and we were so drenched it was silly, we decided to go our seperate ways (damn it) - I was returned my trainers, and umbrellas - had a quick dry off before slipping back into bed - this time I wasnt so hot, strangely enough!

some blog shit

its nearly 2am - im pretty drunk and looked at my visit stats

some dude - sure he's a nice lad and/or lass - but cant understand a word he's and/or she's on about visited my blog - so thought i would do the fav of linking back to their blog :-

http://takezero.blogspot.com/

Thanks

PS - now just ate my chicken pakora - it was nice - are you

Hole in John!

I havent been to pitch and putt for years, so I suggested it to Captain Rich and Mad Irish Johno, so after getting out of bed pretty late, I arranged for us all to meet up at Newbold Common for a knock around and some banter. After Rich admitted that he'd never played golf - and accurately said "I've never hit a club before" and me correcting him by telling him that he needed to hit the ball, rather than the club - or he would be around for a long time. We got up just after 13:15 and it did look like it was going to piss down, but thought it would be an end of week stress relief. You could see in Rich's eye he didnt fancy this at all, mainly due to being out of his comfort zone and I also got the feeling he likes to be in control of things - like I do. You cant control golf balls, its basically hit and hope - where with PCs, Photography - and to a certain extent, drinking vast amounts of beer - it does what it says on the tin.

Fore!!!!

After showing Rich the basics :- Tee, Ball, Club, hole with flag, point, swing hit, stay away from bushes - we were underway big style. Johno plays some golf, so obviously bleezed ahead in the steaks, I've played before, but tend to be better mid hole - ie, not the teeing off, or putting - aka, hitting and hoping and being jammy. Rich picked this up pretty quickly and started hitting good balls, mean while, I was in the "rough" trying to find my ball - and Johno was still leading the way, and me and Rich neck and neck. Rich gets alittle bit cocky, and rightly so, he was playing well for his first attempt. This little lad starts waving his club at rich, and mumbled something, to which, Rich replys, "Shut up you little fucker" - while waving his clubs to him from afar - this is where I believe Rich is the devil's son, and the kid starts crying - after being stung by a wasp - coincidence or Rich's evil wrath ? you decide!

After about hole 5, Rich notices the clubhouse and the fact that there might be beer in there - and all of a sudden his game picks up, not before I accidently hit the ball towards Rich and him having to, and wait for it, RUN! All I got back in reply was, "Howay man, I havent ran for 30 years, do you think I should start now?!?"

We ended up the 9 holes with Rich taking the scores - and photos, sadly - which will be available on display shortly, with Johno winning clearly on 39 points, me getting 54 points and beating Rich very very narrowly by 1 point and him coming in on 55. I'm sure Rich has other tales to tell, so when he's blogged it, I'll link it in. All in all, a relaxing afternoon, doing something different and destressing in the summersun - and LOOSING!!!!

Noo Music Scene :: Leamington Spa 1923

After an indifferent week at work, I met captain Rich and Johno down the Pig and fiddle at lunch time - mainly to fill them in with what happened at the quacks earlier today, while they ignored me and watched the cricket. I had to get back pretty early as I had one of my guys going on holiday tonight, and didnt want to leae him in the lurch when I needed to help him. We parted our different ways, gave rich back his WD40 which i had borrowed for 14 months and arranged to meet in the Well later on that day for some festive friday beverages.

They wont get their hands on my lucky charms! *

I got a call about 8pm from Rich saying he was having a wander down, so I set off, and bumped into Johno who said he was going to the Pig and Fiddle for a swift one and we would see each other later on. I half expecting to see Blunty propping up the Wells beer garden table up and Rich just looking unamused about random things - mainly the injustice for the women with idiots. Of course, I get there and Rich is propping up the bar with a bottle of stella and we retire to the beer garden, awaiting our beverage buddies....Turns out Blunty was up town, in Mumbai Bluu, buying beverages and placing his car down as payment, and Johno was staying in the Pig listening to live Irish music - fair enough, each to their own you think - so myself and Rich - and now accompanied by Steve ( from stupid, stupid, stupid and steve ) sat down and put the world to rights - including what we done for a living (Rich, you don't earn 45K), the state of London and musical tastes, then we got kicked inside at 11pm for the beer garden closing.

At this point, anyone in the area who was over the age of 45 walked in, looking shifty and scary - appears there was some Euro Dance Hip Hop Wigga Wigga Woo Trace Night on downstairs - and for some reason it pulls in middle age men having a midlife crisis. After 4 glasses of MSR with DC, I was starting to get miffed (and pretty young looking at this stage) so we called it a day - back before midnight - I am getting responsible!! yay!

Fast Response Units

After the fantastic speedy review from the docs today, I was more than suprised to receive a call from Dell asking me when they could deliver my brand spanking new PC. I thought it might have been next saturday as per their realtime system, but was very suprised to find out its going to be delivered earlier in the week - wahoo, toy time.

Want to play tic-tac-toe?

Hopefully this time next week I'll have my iPOD synced up with new music I've bought over the last couple of months, and be able to write DVDs - yay - as well as having fast access to the super-t'internet-highway-ecommerce-atmlink

Doctor Doctor, Can't you see I'm burning burning!

I've not been feeling to great over the last 2 or 3 months - the details I'll not go into, but after putting of going to the doctors from last week (being messed around with someone I was interviewing) I eventually turned up at Park Street Doctors. After the lovely old dear behind the counter slammed her fingers on the computer keyboard, tutting, kissing and looking at me, the clock, the PC, the clock, then me again, she pointed to the waiting room. I assumed that I had turned up and just narrowly missed open surgery, however, she then calmly said that there was no one else in the waiting room, and the doctors had seen everyone else - so would only need to wait 2 mins.

Oh Matron!!!

Impressed I've been in the past - and blaming Thatchers destruction of the NHS is another one of my soap box discussions, however, getting seen by a doctor in 2 mins is about as good as it gets really. After the "how much do you drink?", "whats your diet like?" and "how much exercise do you do?" - he revisited the "how much do you drink?" question after my first reply was "probably too much".

I spoke to my mother a couple of weeks ago about the situation and she suggested (and scared the living day lights out of me) that it might be an ulcer - thankfully its not - so the nice doctor sent me on my way with a slip, to see the nice old dear on reception again. This time, they had mulitplied into 3 old dears, one fanning her face with some paper saying "i get hot flushes dear, dont worry" and "I'm 21" and winking at me - not good for the imagination really.

Anyhoooo, I'm booked in for a blood test for god knows what on Tuesday afternoon.

Unpacked .... eventually

I may have moved in on St Georges day last year, but its only taken up til now to be proactive and unpack some of the "gear" I've had stacked away in my dressing room. Yes, I have a dressing room, and its not a queer as it sounds, its just a little room thats attached to my bedroom thats used for storing clothes - and obviously for the last 12 months and a bit, my "gear". This gear was stored in 3 sports bags, 1 ruck sack and 3 storage boxes and consisted of computer equipment that I may need in the future (Warning, only if the year is 1992 and I need a 9600 modem and a serial cable to connect to my mainframe).

Anyhoo, after being rather ruthless (poor ruth) with what I was keeping, I managed to get this down to two storage boxes and 2 black bags of rubbish. On top of my proactive work tonight, I've managed to screw the three doors to my wardrobe which have been hanging around in my passage way for 12 months.

This combined with hanging up photo frames that have been on the floor in a corner for 12 months, some photos I've had for 3 years and polyfilling some cracks - I've had an interesting week staying away from the Booze.

Now I just need to work thru the stuff I have in my living room and minimise all of that and make space for my ever increasing DVD collection.

He's Football Crazy, Football Mad

Believe it or not .. this week has been pretty dull, mainly due to the fact I havent been down the boozer, getting into scrapes and "amuzing situations" when i'm out of my skull. Also, believe it or not, I havent had a drink since Saturday night - which is some kind of minor (read major) miracle.

Instead, I popped down to the gym on Monday, managed a mile of run/jog/run/jog in 10 mins - not bad going really. On top of that, I played 90 mins of football lastnight, scoring once (nice little nutmeg between the keepers legs - sweet) followed by 60 mins of football at lunchtime today - scoring 2, setting up about 3.

Obviously now, I'm hoping that my legs will grow back, after they've falled off today - couple of tablets and a pint of milk - we're sorted. All in all, an exercise-crazy week - now, wheres my can of stella gone ...?

Cold Winter in Dell!

My fantastic and nippy micro system blew up about 3 months ago - meaning I'm doing all my correspondence on my laptop - which isnt great - esp when i've lot the ability of uploading songs to my iPOD and potentially access to my digital photos I've collected over the years. I've been plotting on buying a new motherboard for a while, to replace the zapped and fried one, but fancied upgrading to a PC thats growable - rather than the one PCI slot that this micro system had.

Now Rich got a Dell PC a while back and he's never reported any faults with it, however coming back to me saying its like shit on a stick fast - so I thought I would look up the website - see what they could do with it. Luckily they've got a promotion on (free delivery, 57 quid off for so much spent, a further 57 quid if you go over a certain second price) - so after adding bits to it (DVD RW drive, WinXP Prof, Graphics Card & 1Gb mem) I managed to get a decent price. Now that I've bunged it on my card - I want to play, sadly, wont be here for another 10 days :o(

I didnt go for the 17" TFT monitor - maybe in a couple of months - but it does come with a spanking brandnew black monitor - mmm black monitors!

The year is 1975 :: Lets, EXTERMINATE!!!!!!

Before John and Debbie left for their holiday, John returned a number of objects that belonged to me - including coldplay's new album, a couple of PS2 games and some other stuff I cant recall right now. In his other hand, he had a black CD wallet and a big grin on his face. As he opened it up, it became clear that he had a number of DVDs - some of which were backup of his music, some horror flicks that he'd downloaded, but a dual pack of DVDs that he said I would be interested in.

These were a 6 parter to Dr Who (Tom Baker) and the Genesis of the Daleks - I watched 3 episodes lastnight and the remaining 3 tonight - fantastic story line, fantastic visual effects and acting - baring in mind this was 1975 and special effects were hardly a known back then. Basically the story line is that an "unknown" time lord, has asked the Dr to destroy the existance of the Daleks and removing them from history & future. The 6 episodes explained how they first became invented and by whom (Davros) - also included the reasoning behind the invention and why the Daleks killed Davros - only to be locked in a bunker for thousands of years. The usual dilema that we've seen the recent doctor faced with - does he have the right to destroy and kill species - so there is still the same moral story line over the years. Certainly worth watching and now I'm trying to get hold of Invasion of Earth etc.

BBQ Saturday

With the nice weather kicking around, thought it would be a good way to get friends around for our first full weekend together, with vacations and people being away etc - so invited the lovely nomes, mr palin, john-o, his bird, blunty and captain headworth, and a couple of the new/old students. Blunty shyed off, due to be nearly on his death bed from the night before, the students had a birthday to attend, so it was left with, once again, the usual suspects.

BBQ got going nicely, i made my special spuds, Rich kindly brought some crisps that I forgot to pick up and we had a sociable drink. We chatted, nattered, set tea lighters off down the canal, which then sank sadly (need to plan here) and continued to drink, and listened to music and stared into the night. Rich and I took some photos, so be interesting to see how they went.

We went inside, continued to chat and listen to music, then Rich,Nomes and Andy left, leaving me, Johno and his lass too talk for 20 or so minutes, then they left. Once again Nomes done a fantastic job of clearing up, without anyone noticing - so thanks Nomes.

Ikea :- Bad for your wallet

I've been after some kitchen curtains for ages, I've also been after some nice ikea towels to match my bath "sheet" and 2 x magazine racks to make my lovely flat look tidy. I popped up to the Brum store with Captain Shabby Cowie, sadly, only came back with one set of items, the towels, yet still managing to spend 128 quid, plus a further 10 quid at the swedish store. The breakdown is as follows;

• The towels I was after
• 4 x wine glasses
• Veg Drainer
• 6 x colourful vases for my small kitchen window
• 2 x glass vases with
• 2 x bags of sand (1 x silver, 1 x blue)
• 3 x picture stands
• 1 x set of prints
• 2 x 8 clothes hangers
• 4 x storage jars for the kitchen
• 2 x storage boxes
• 4 x scented candles
• 1 x light for the bedroom minus bulb
• 3 x funny shape icecube holder thingys
• 1 x ikea plant

At the swedish shop I got;

• Gifflar - kanal (cinnamon rolls)
• 3 x cans of swedish lager
• 2 x cans of swedish cider (for captain blunt)
• chocolate
• Mini D'aim

Still good day had by all, didnt they ..

Skoobie Doobee Doooo!

I got back from work the other night to find a nice present through the post. Its a Skoobie pack, which what all the hip and street 8 year olds are doing these days. Basically plastic strips which you can make into keyrings and er, things which I havent thought of yet. One of the girls on holiday sent me up - I've mentioned her before - but I introduce Emily - Welcome to the Internet. She also doesnt believe I have a photo of her - so this is to prove her wrong :)

Emily, pictured centre - she's very nice you know.

Pep talk friday

After a long, knackering week, I thought it would be nice to relax by the patio and just chill. I done this, listened to music, I blinked and it was around 7.30, so decided food was probably a very good option at this point, sadly there wasnt anything in the fridge, and lazyness kicked in, so ended up with a Mamma's Pizza from across the road. In between this, Captain Rich asked if I wanted a couple of beers down the Well, to continue the chill aspect, which I agreed and we got down there around 10ish.

I had a bit of a character assasination from someone - labelling me immature and a tw$t - so the last thing I really needed was her turning up to the pub, blanking me all but evil eyes across the beer garden/pub. I totally admit I am immature - I like a laugh, I'm a child trapped in a blokes body, but when you have a full time job, interviewing people on the phone and away from the PC - you dont need this kind of abuse, nor do you really need text messages at 05:20 in the morning saying that she's bored.

Anyhoo, at this point, Rich slips into semi drunk state and decides to lecture me about how I'm an attractive lad, good laugh, good sense of humour and "how the students love a bit of magic steve" - continued by a rant of "why do you fall for the wrong people, you could have the run of the place if you put your mind together". To conclude .... the following equation is now being followed closely. I will not fall, flirt, chat up anyone who is :-

• Seeing someone / has a boyfriend
• Mental

Easier said than done!

Show me the Money!!!!

After successfully getting rid of John and Debbie on their "vacation", I've now put their flat up for sale - allowing me to make a massive profit. Just their car to part exchange now, then its like theyve never existed!

Only joking, woke up this morning to find a for sale sign there, which certainly wasnt there when I stumbled past lastnight at none o'clock.

Dont know who's put their place up for sale - certainly not me, unless I done it lastnight when I stumbled in lastnight, I dont think Laura has done it, unless she's had my idea and decided to put it up for sale. I've now got my bible out, praying its going to be some fit single lass who likes blond headed geordie - reward me jebus for my good work to the lord!!!

BYE THEN HELEN!!!!

The lovely (but smoggy) Helen is leaving towards the end of the week, to return to the rich and prosperous land of 'Boro - where the streets are paved with gas masks and smog. A leaving do was typically arranged, IBM style to allow all her friends and colleagues to send her off and basically an excuse to purchase alcohol. The "gang" started off at the Oriental Star for some grub, where as the sensible three hit Pound Night at the Well for some preJug and Jester beers.

We met up in the beer garden and being socialites, we talked to students new and old, as well as the usual suspects. Beer started to flow pretty well and and the random world of Steve, Rich and Blunty started to kickin as part of Leamington Spa's Summer of Free Entertainment campaign.

Helen - Without gas mask.

Usual suspects : me, rich, cabinboy blunty

The stereo system in the beer garden suddenly changed to "Themes of James Bond" - where myself and Miss MoneyBlunt reinacted the scenes from James Bond - using the medium of ... Beer, fingers and mime. At one point, I tried to do something from the Matrix ... and nearly put my back out - myself and blunty turning around to find people staring at us in wonder.

Bye Helen - you'll be missed.

Rallying around the UK

As you may or may not know - but John and Debbie are now in the states - starting their trip across country. I dropped them off at Heathrow and made a slow trip back up north - theyve started to document their journey, however concerned that they have the wrong impression about my driving technique. I wont even tell them about the fact that I nearly crashed into someone on the first roundabout out of the airport due to the dodgy angle of the wing mirrors - but hey.

You can catch up with them on ...

http://hartnup.net/travels/category/oregon-trail/

Episode one and a bit ...

http://hartnup.net/travels/2005/07/09/packed-and-ready-to-go/

Tale of Two Airports

After John and Debbie kindly picked me up from the Airport on Thursday morning, I agreed I would take them down to Heathrow, rather than them having to a) get a taxi b) get a train or c) end up having to leave their car in the long stay carpark for 4 weeks. They kindly offered me the loan of their car while they were away, to get to work, and simple stuff - very kind. Debbie phoned up the insurance company while I was away, to which they quoted her 68 quid for the 4 weeks, or 22 quid for the year - strange - anyhow, I was insured for their car - yay - wheels.

I popped around to their gaff at 2pm today, where I found they had 4 small bags in total, 2 "luggage bags" which were the size of small rucksacks - and their laptop bags - talk about travelling light. Anyhooooo, we were on the road, Debbie drove down the M40 and headed towards Terminal 4 and we got there in good time, I took a photo for them to start their travel log, big them good day and was on my way back to Leamington - took around 90 mins to get back - not bad really.

I'd agreed with Rich that if I had access to the car, I would try doing them a fav by picking him and his mate up from Brum airport - His plane was due to land around 22:45 - but luckily I checked the T'interweb and found it set off a little early and was due to land at 22:30. Sat behind the slowest carravette in the world, I get a text from Rich saying he was waiting outside - managed to get back for 23:30 in the end - not bad for someone who hasnt driven properly for 4 months! YAY!

"Cute - like a new born hamster"

John took this when he picked me up - and showed me lastnight before we went out for curry, not really fair after lack of sleep and being suprised by a flash going off in my face at none o'clock

Notice also the fact that im gripping to my duty free bag - protective of my fine purchases. Proof that I did catch the sun in some form

Coming Back Right Atcha!

Well, I'm back, tales of the trip will appear below once I get the chance and place them in some kind of diary form. I got kicked out of the Emerald Apt's Room yesterday around 10am UK time, and we had to hang around to get picked up to return to the Airport. Our flight that was flying into Brum was leaving around 2am (Thursday), and out coach pick up was around midnight - a drain on any enjoyable holiday. Anyhoo, I think because there were some other delays flying into the UK and everyone checking in nicely and quickly, we got a headstart. John and Debbie had kindly offered to pick me up from the airport, regardless of the early start, so once I got via passport control, text'd Debbie not really knowing what the time was - it was about 60 mins before we had originally agreed to meet, but bless them, they were up (Debbie going to bed around 9pm to get an early night, John going slightly later around 00:20). My bag was the first on the baggage reclaimbelt - which has never happened.

Was nice to be picked up, up to speed on the goss (Paul's moved to Japan, apparently) - then dropped off. After 3 hours kip, I dazed around home, cleaning up and started the post-vacation washing, and then headed into town to purchase;

• 12"/80s/#2 CD
• Green Day's American Idiot
• Food
• Mr Men Fridge Magnets

Butternut Tracks

After setting back in to the world of the living, I checked my MSN emails and found a mail from Mr Ant, passing on a URL to some music that I might be interested in. Turns out, its one of the guys from Collapsed Lung, Jim, who's band, Butternut, had just posted some new tracks online. Ant mentioned in the email that they are pretty similar to Collapsed Lung, upbeat & catchy lyrics - so I thought I would give it a whizz.

Turns out that its pretty cool - three tracks;

• What is Art
• Uncle b-boy
• Freed

Anyhoo, you can download the tracks from the website:

http://www.purevolume.com/butternut and you can find the downloads in mp3 format so you can listen on ipods at :

http://www.purevolume.com/butternut/music

Ant also mentioned that he was doing some Bass playing up at Leicester on Friday Night 15th for a mate. Venue info is :

http://www.ents24.com/web/venue/34149/Leicester/The_Firefly.html

and Flyer information can be found at :

http://kabukikore.net/sarandon/images/FFlyer.gif

Oh Why Why Why!!!!!!!!

Greek Night again, at a special price of 10 Euro's for food and some drink, I decided it would be a good investment. The only downside was the return of the Karaoke nightmare from the previous - we had a massive plan, drink our drinks, finish our food and RUN. Fair play I thought, and it worked, we had a secondary plan, the ring of trust - where we decided that NOONE would sing, regardless. This worked all of about 3 nanoseconds, when the king of karaoke sham pointed to me and screamed on his microphone, "We have someone to do 'Delilah' - he was here last week" - I was scared, like first day of school scared, but hey, at least we had the ring of trust.

The guy was singing the Monkee's 'Cheer Up Sleepy Jean' - and came around with his microphone and got people to fill in the gaps, he headed towards the ring of trust - at first, we were strong, after the first person, then it broke - the curse of karaoke set in. The knees were going, the hands were shaking and anger took over - there is a Geordie chant called 'Cheer up Peter Reid' - of course the bloke hit me at the wrong time - enter Steve - "Cheer up Peter Reid, With your Monkey's Heed, Shit Mackem Bastard, and a Shit Football Team" - I of course learnt from my mistake the previous week and left out any bad language to avoid any further embarressment and prayed this would be enough to put off the man with the mic coming back.

This didnt work ... he came back and asked the lads to sing Delilah - the wrong side of a lager based coma was heading towards us, but we agreed to help his gig kick off. We sang it, and like the week before (with the addition of a beer glass in my hand) I would sing the "Why Why Why" section. It went quicker than last week - strangely aided by booze - but we were actually clapped off the stage - so so bad. Even Beccy and Emily said that we were very good - and from then on .. we rated everyone else on our standards.

Then cometh the sucker punch, the bloke walking around singing "Hey Jude" by the Beatles - of course, I was singing the live version in my head, and moving my lips at the sametime, so then the dude homes in on me - and hands me the mic and I reenter Beatles Live mode and "Judey Judey Judey Juuuuudey". The dude is then in stitches due to my "duet" and can barely go on, leaving me to plug the gaps, singing more "Hey Jude get me a beer"

Still receiving texts from shipshape blunty!

Cocktails and Chat

One of the girls from lastnight - from the Feta Cheese situation - talked to me at the bar. Not the actual one who said it, luckily - this one was pretty fit. I tried to work out who she was with, boyfriend, friends, husband, freaky little green alien maybe ... you just never know. Anyhow, we got talking and turns out she's called Emily, lives in Bath and works for Clares Accessories while not at uni - which is pretty cool - she's also with her mate (Becci) and Becci's brother and mate.

She asked what I was reading, only for me to reveal a Dr Who book and probably scared her away - but she was nice about it and returned to table, leaving me to blush a lot and recap in my own head what I said, and if I was embarressing.

changing of the guard!

Well, Barry and Nicky left today - as soon as they walked out the door, new comers walked in - guess thats the magical world of of tourism. I was sitting at the bar (as you do) when most of the london based newcomers came in - at this point, I had a Greek Salad and a Mythos in my hand - when two strange girls walked up (well not really strange) when one announced that she has a *thing* for feta cheese. Of course, all I could do was laugh as my dirty mind hits gutter level - strangely enough - these girls just walked off, looking at me with strange looks.

Seems strange without Barry and Nicky being around - empty, almost - strange how you can make friends very quickly, without knowing them. Chris and Bonnie asked me to go to Rhodes Town tomorrow, I kindly declined stating I would be doing the usual tomorrow.

Still recieving text messages from "rate card terrorist blunty" - only around 5 today

BYE THEN BARRY!

Barry and Nicky were leaving tomorrow afternoon after their 1 week away in the Emerald Apts, so it was decided that we would go out for a nice little meal celebrate the hello and goodbyes. Chris and Bonnie who were present at the BBQ and sing song lastnight also came out with us for a meal. We started off at the "Lovely" bar, where we giggled for a couple of hours while supping on cocktails, then headed towards the Ideal restaurant for some steaks and Greek salad. Entertaining night, we then headed off to the apt's for a couple of drinks from the bar, where I started to call Dom "Captain" much to his delight, who started to call me it back - strangely enough. "Yammas Captain" would be the phrase everytime I ordered drink - made me laugh anyhow, well so much so it continued all throughout the holiday.

Bonnie and Chris (Tanned Freddie Starr lookalike)

At this point, I'd been sleeping around 10 hours a night, and around 1 or 2 hours in the afternoons, starting to get back to the Wartburton of old - refreshed, bright eyed and bushy tailed. However getting a reputation of "The Lad who is always in bed". At this point, my sunburn from the Peace Festival in Leam was fading and I was going back to pale colours - a little worrying, considering I was using factor 15 in mid 30 oC temp for 5 hours a day.

Still receiving the same text message from Blunty, around 9 today.

Why Why Why !!!!

Monday night was the Emerald Apt Greek BBQ night - part of this included a Karaoke show.

They have a karaoke night during the week, where they let the kids get up and sing their songs, however this was a little more pressured. We had our food, which was lush - all Greek style BBQ - with Lamb, etc - which filled us up. To drink we were buying bottles of white wine and downing them pretty quickly and we laughed when they Greek dude who arranged the music got on the stage and starting singing pretty badly. Then he points to me, stating that I would be next, and with the shock, we all arranged to drink up and head down the local boozer to escape - the rest fearing that even if I went up - the rest would be forced into it later on. The bloke came over and took me by the shoulders - one of the lads, Chris (looks like Freddie Starr) agreed that if we all went up together, that would be the end of the story.

Tom Jone's "Delilah" was the Greek dudes choice - we didnt even get the option!! After a number of bottles, we found this pretty funny and we could all barely speak ... anyhow, I said I would do the "My My My" & "Why Why Why" section - which I do feel I managed pretty well - still bricking my pants like. I also managed to get the "Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any moooooooooooore" bit at the end sorted pretty well *.

After this sham, Chris got into the mood and wanted more more more singing, my heart still pounding after the last one, I refused and got stuck into another bottle of wine. We all thought we were safe, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the Greek dude and a crowd of 8 year old girls who wanted to sing "American Pie" and wanted me, Chris and Barry to get up and help them. We done pretty well, again, until Chris who was in front of us, started to privately moon us by pulling his shorts down to us three lads in the back row. Forgetting we had microphones, I accidently shouted "Fucking Hell, look at the state of his arse" - to which, I recieved evils from some very protective mothers!

We vowed never to sing in public again!!

Lovely, Oh My God, Bravo

True to their word, Nicky and Barry arranged to meet me in the hotel bar to explain what we were up too. Basically they had gone out lastnight for some food, they found this place, really looked posh, and just around the corner from the beach.

When they went in, the guy on the door asked where they were from, on replying that they were from England, the guy then slipped into stereotypical english with phases from "only fools and horses". When they ate their food, the guy came over and presented them with "Lovely Salt", "Lovely Pepper", "Lovely red sauce", "Lovely Pizza", "Lovely Beer" and "Lovely Cocktails". When Barry asked for a Pizza the previous night, the guy asked if he would like fruit salad on it as well, to which Barry kindly declined, but the guy turned to him, "I make your pizza with my cheese, my bread, my tomato sauce" - meanwhile, in the background, there was a microwave doing overtime

We got there, and to be fair, it did look pretty impressive - and probably would have suited being a sports bar, or such like - but we sat down - almost immediately greated by "My Lovely Friends, What would you like to drink ? Lovely Mythos?"

"Lovely"

After speaking to him and trying not to piss out pants from what he was saying - out came "Lovely Jubbly" to which we all bend up double laughing.

We returned to the hotel - still laughing and ordering more beer. Suppose you had to be there

Rhode to no-where

After hanging around the pool all day with Barry and Nicky - we retired back to the bar and got talking to Dominic and Theo (the two barmen) - Dom is a young Greek who obviously has an eye for the ladies, where Theo was originally from Italy, a little older and married - but all very friendly. I started calling Dom, "Boss" which he laughed and started calling me back - strangely enough, but it was funny to be part of the entertainment. They had a PA system hooked up to a CD player, sadly, they only had a select few CDs - one of which was the Crazy Frog, which brought alot of anger to alot of people - still, they had 80s, 90s and loads of chilling music - just what you want.

Barry and his missus were only there for a week, so were up for doing stuff, but were friendly and invited me out as much as I wanted. I thanked them, but told them why I was out there, what I wanted to do (involved ipod, beer, food, sun and sleep mainly), but they still offered, which was fab. They went out to get some food, leaving me to chill at the bar and slowly getting drunk on local beer & wine. When they returned, they couldnt stop laughing and promised they would show me tomorrow night - still giggling away, they retired to bed. I went in the opposite direction and headed towards mine

Nicky, me and Barry

Still receiving texts from Blunty!!

Pro's and Con's of Vacations alone.

I've done it before, and it can be a little worrying, but I never want to do things for other people that I dont want to do myself, that I dont really want to do, nor do I like the idea of going away with someone who doesnt want to do the same things as me. So, conclusion, go away on your own, do what you want, when you want, how you want, and why you want - means you dont get shouted at, ignored in some mood, or even to the stage where your friendship is strained with mates or females who you like.

Some of the pro's are, like I suggested above, you can do what you like, when you like. There is also the fact that you get to meet people YOU want to meet, and if you do meet someone you dont like - you can avoid them - pretty easily.

The flip side is, tho, that if you do have problems, like trying to apply sun lotion to your back, it can be a bit difficult, some people feel they have to talk to you, just because you are alone - when you just want to read your book and be left alone.

All in all, I would recommend it to anyone, if you can bare with being on your own for long periods of time. I can do it because I can work from home, then spend time on my own in my flat, or even going to work and coming back to the flat, chilling. Some people can do it, some others cant - I can do this, sometimes pretty easily.

Introduction to the local culture

After a shower and trying to keep cool (my bedroom was sun facing first thing in the morning), I wandered down to the bar area, to be faced with a pretty large sized swimming pool, with the typical sunbeds around it - it looked nice, clean and posh. I picked up a bottle of water and ordered scrambled egg on toast with a cup of tea - was very nice. I got speaking to a couple of the waiters and the manageress who all seemed very friendly.

The introduction was timed for 11:30 and some yorkshire sounded rep came in - give us the usual talk;

• drink lots of bottled water (not from the tap)
• dont run around the pool
• apply loads of suntan lotion
• busses are rubbish, so get taxi's - so much easier
• where the local cash machines are
• what tours they had etc

I applied the loads of suntan lotion and took my ipod, book and sunglasses to the pool side and started to sunbath, relax and chill. I didnt intend to do much over the holiday, mainly due to the fact I aint had a proper away holiday for 2 years (bought my flat last year and couldnt efford it) - and just wanted time out from the manic world of technology and team leading.

I had lunch and a pint, where I met a charming little fellow, Barry, at the bar, after talking and buying each other the local draft beverage, I was introduced to his girlfriend, Nicky, who again was very charming. Barry and myself had a couple of more pints, and retired to our sunbeds, only to fall asleep for about 60 mins around 4pm - but luckily applied loads of high factor sun lotion.

Texts from afar.

I started to setup my technology and recieve texts from friends back in the UK - namely, John, Debbie, Rich and family - incase something kicked off.

I set my phone to one of the local mobile phone providers - and automatically recieved a new message, from Captain Blunster, asking "yee, oot tha neet" - assuming he was asking if I fancied a beer on Wednesday, so sent him a text back saying thanks, but I was in a different country. Five minutes later, I recieved another message, asking "yee, oot tha neet" - thinking he just sent it twice by mistake.

After 3 hours - I have recieved 10 of the same messages. Nice*

Flying High, Legs Low

After John and Debbie kindly dropped me off at the airport, I headed to checkin - a little worried that the queue was pretty small, and got worried that I just made it - not exactly the best way to start a holiday - but hey, at least I made the flight this time. After checkin, went via security, then to the departure lounge to get a swift pint to cool my pre-flight curves. I was half way through a pint of carling cold, when the boarding of the flight was called, so left the rest.

When I got on the plane, it became clear that checking in last, has its disadvantages, when I got to the seat, in front of the toilets (Row 30) - meaning I couldnt recline the chair, but hey, I was on holiday and nothing was gonna knacker that up. The couple sitting to the left of me joined, we said hello, I opened my FHM and left them to it. Half way through, my new co-flight-buddies were starting to annoy me when they complained about the seating, I didnt bother - the airhostesses have enough of a job to do, than trying to relocate two moaning gits around, they moaned some more, but I chilled, the guy got relocated to the back of the plane.

We get to Rhodes airport, and was quite suprised that the process was pretty easy to get from passport control -> baggage reclaim -> coach -> resort. This might be just because I was tired and didnt really care due to my holiday mood, or just relief from getting away from the co-passenger family from hell - but felt quick anyhow.

The information I got from the travel agents said that the transfer was quick, although the disadvantage that overhead aircraft noise was frequent, but hey - 10 mins between airport and my temp home of Emerald Apt Hotel was cool - only to get the usual overview of;

• Drink lots of water - bottled, not tap
• apply suntan lotion
• dont run around the pool
• "if you dont like spicy food at home, chances are you wont like it away from home"
• dont put your bog paper down the bog, but in the provided bathroom bin
• Greek's dont use large towels, because they can allow the growth of bacteria
• Greek's dont have baths for the very same reason

We arrived at the Apts, only to be put in front of the grumpiest looking Greek man, ever, who checked us in, took our passports off us, and showed us to the room. It turns out that this man has a job during the day, and does the night shift at the hotel and turned out to be very friendly - great huh ?

By the time we were shown to our rooms, it was around 3.30am Greek time, so time for a snooze, only to be woken up 3 times by plains flying overhead - but hey - holiday starts here!

We're all going on a summer holiday - well, just me, not you!

I'm on holiday now for two weeks - I fly out later this afternoon, thankfully I double and tripple checked and found the tickets for the holiday under a massive pile of mail. The first bit of mail I had suggested only taking the final invoice along - suggesting to me it was some kind of new-wave-internet ticketless scheme - thankfully I'm switched on.

I spent a couple of hours in town today, getting final items, money for example, and picked up a few nice to haves, and bumped into John-O and Rich for a swifty. I only had a coke and some food due to the fact of being doped up on hayfever tablets and still feeling minging from lastnight.

Next stop, Rhodes (via Birmingham Int) - massive thanks to J&D for sorting me out with this.

Sombre times call for sombre drinks

The last month or so has been a little rotten at work, some could say - and thats all I will comment on the history of it. Everyone in our department had or will be having a phone call stating if they are at "risk" or not - again, thats all I will say about it. Luckily, myself, my immediate team are "not at risk" as well as some close friends being "not at risk". Some other people arnt and wont be so lucky - so all I can say is good luck with things.

John and Debbie asked if I fancied going out for a drink and some food, so we ended up in King Babba's for a nice curry and a beer, moving into the Well for a quiet pound night, then hooking up with Rich, Nomes, Andy P and Text-tastic Wendy in TJs. Only Rich was drinking, so I think he was thankful that we turned up to help him along. Mood was a little down and strange, we all know a handful of people who are "at risk", so albeit happy for ourselves, we're obviously concerned.

Roll on tomorrow ... for getting out of dodge for different reasons - holiday.

Toon Army 2005/2006/2007

I made one last holiday purchase, the new NUFC home shirt. I've been putting it off for a while, mainly due to the disappointing season we had last time around, but felt I needed to be hip and street with the new shirt. It arrived this morning and is fantastic - although other "lesser team" footballer supporters' impression is "wow"

Toon Army!

"I hope you had the time of your life" - I did, thanks!

Sunday afternoon was the big day, a day I've been looking forward to for months. Mr Bellis (to his colleagues and friends - only because we're scared of him) was taking his daughter (and her friend) to see Greenday at the MK bowl, and asked if me and punk rock headworth, if we fancied going. I've always had a soft spot for Greenday from my metal days, so was quite looking forward to rekindling my youth and getting hip and street with the youth of today. Added to the bonus that one of the "lads" at work had promised to get VIP tickets due to his "networking and contacts" he had, which would involve free booze all day. He had promised us these passes for a couple of months now, and geting closer to the date, it was looking less likely, but we still had that candle of hope burning in our eyes.

Captain Bellis was due to pick me and Rich up around 2.30pm - so thankfully after lastnight, I had the chance to recover and get my brain in gear. Prompt as always (Warning - not so prompt) Bellis picks us up and we head down the motorway, sunroof open, windows open, burning my already sunburnt arms, so I applied suntan lotion, feeling sticky and returning to my glazed look. Still no sign of tickets - we still hoped ... just maybe....

We managed to find a parking space on the 3rd approach into the Plaza, and headed like sheep towards the bowl, we entered the bowl, only to find that the only places of shade, where the bogs or the bushes which were makeshift bogs. Still we hoped about tickets, still nothing - by this point myself and Rich already had 2 pints each and heading towards 2 hotdogs. Jimmy Eat World were on stage, of which I knew about 3 songs - hip and street Wharton returns. The below photo is part of the stage that I took with Belli's camera - nice!

Stage, pictured centre, but actually was left.

I've been to many gigs before - some have impressed me, some havent, I've been to see Guns N' Roses, Faith No More, Therapy?, Space, Bluetones, and most importantly, Collapsed Lung, yet when Greenday came on ... fantastic from start to finish. It was more of an entertainment, than a band coming on, standing there, strumming because they have to be there to get their beer money for the next 20 years. These guys were good, very very very good, entertaining and singing wise. They kicked off with American Idiot, dipped into some of the album, went into the back catalgue, playing Basketcase, and back into the recent album. The biggest cheer and reaction was when they played Lulu's "Shout". England is now, apparently, the "official home" of Greenday!

After the gig finished, we managed to loose Bellis' daughter and friend, and searched the bowl for them. One thing that disappointed me, was the lack of concern by the "staff" who, and know they want to get home, just wanted to kick us out, not giving a damn that two early teens were missing. "I'm sure they'll show up, now can you move on please" was one reaction - helpful, esp in the current climate. Luckily they turned up after walking around looking for AB. We walked about 25 mins to the car, managed to find a "quick" route, spending 2.5 hours in the car trying to get out of MK, getting into bed just after 3am, having to be up at 7.45 to get into work to meet a new starter.

Conclusion - fantastic day out, fantastic music, had a laugh, became young again.

The Morning After

Like Faith No More's lyrics suggest;

Awakened by the sun light
Victimized by last night
Memories flashin'
through my head
Was I just born or am I dead?
Yesterday's forgotten, the morning after

Sunday morning wasnt good, one by one, those who attended the BBQ lastnight logged onto MSN, slightly changing their name to death, slow & hungover related topics. Once I managed to get my head together, I walked into the livingroom - glasses everywhere, then into the kitchen, more glasses, so many glasses - I didnt think I had that many, maybe I didnt and other people turned up. Turning around, 9 empty wine bottles, half a bottle of southern comfort drank, three quarters of MSR drank, empty cans of carling - carnage, thats all it was. After forcing water down my throat, I managed to speak to Rich to find out what time Captain Bellis was picking us up to go to the gig, luckily this was 14:30 - so had time to clean up, get my act into gear, get showered and phone the folks. Hayfever kicked in -- making the very close possibility that I was snoring lastnight based on the fact I could hardly talk, even worse.

I managed some orange juice and chocolate brownie and ponderd with the News of the World - why do I ever drink! Fantastic night tho!!

BBQ & MSR & TMB (too much booze)

As mentioned below, I invited the usual suspects around (Rich, Cabin Boy Blunty, Nomes, Andy P, John, Debbie, Lush Helen, and Shim-shimminey-shim-shimminey-shimshim-shasham Fursal) - after previously getting burnt at the festival this afternoon, it was nice to just sit in the shade and relax. John and Debbie had plans elsewhere, but still managed to come around for preBBQ/preWho beers, Blunty went to a BBQ with his sister, and Fursal/Helen went to another BBQ.

Eventually, the usual suspects turned up, "healthy Rich" with his burgers, and stella -- Andy P and Nomes with their healthy option and wine. Halfway through setting up the BBQ and cooking my special spuds, 4 of the students walked along the canal on their way to the tiller pin, so I kindly suggested the popped over and got some beer - rather than going to the boozer. Fursal was with his real missus, not the fake one, Hayfever Boy Jason from football was also in tow with the above, and someone else who I recognise - but they were all welcome anyhow.

I was in the process of sorting my spuds out, when the phone went and my boss on the other end, asking if I was busy (yes) and if I could attend some conference call at 9:45. I told him that I was under the influence of alcohol, so much so, that speaking was becoming a problem - but he said it would be OK, and no customers were on. After 10 mins of trying to switch my phone on, I get on the conf call, only to find my Boss's Boss (the dude who first give me my interview) and he asked how I was, so suggested I was at a party and a little wasted, to which he laighed. Rich decided to play the goat, coming through shouting if I wanted more booze and I should hang up from the f**k**g I*io*s, but repeating it again and again, so much so, that 2nd line mgmt decided to guess who was there - and getting it wrong completely.

The booze flowed, so much so that the students went to the offie to get more in, and they returned and the booze flowed even slicker. We ran out of wine supply and I got my spirit cabnet out (Warning :- consists of 5 year old aftershock, whisky, spiced rum and southern comfort.) and made the students nice drinks. Mainly consisting of a pint glass, 1/2 coke, 1/2 spirits, tripple shots of Aftershock and far too much wine.

At one point of the night, most of the party were singing Gold, sadly without the aid of "Singstar" or the words, leaving Rich to stage dive the patio with the aid of alcohol, no crowd and narrowly missing a large concrete slab, thanks to miss fursal. The party was cleared up (mainly thanks to Nomes - cheers, you're a star!!) and disbanded around 00:30 (i think) - only to leave me to a coma, waking up in the middle of the night with a "teddybear dog" (called Cat) staring into my eyes.

Smarting of the Ways

The final episode of Dr Who, Saturday Afternoon, Bad Wolf, lots of secrecy, and a nice big bottle of cold white wine. I was determined to sit down in peace and quiet and watch the final part of the series trying to work out the warped mind that produced the return of Dr Who - fantastic all the way through, and to be honest, the final scenes a little rushed - maybe they should have had a 60 min episode. Fantastic acting tho, and to top it off, the egotistical Doctor (CE) finishing his role in the series with the following line;

Before I go, I just wanted to tell you, you were absolutely fantastic, and you know what, so was I

After the show, I had to get myself sorted as I'd invited some friends over for a little bit of BBQ, consisting of Steve's special Spuds - and I was already starting to feel light headed.

Peace Off!!!!!!

I've lived in Leamington for a number of years, and certain gatherings and get togethers either appeal, or dont. One of which is the Peace festival, historically (mainly because I drink at the nearest pub to where the festival is hosted) its always appeared to be a weekend for not washing, taking drugs, wearing TieDye (so wrong), hugging trees and preaching stuff to people who dont really care. I got the feeling that Debbie also felt this way about the whole two day event, but because they are kind neighbours (and always up for trying new stuff) I said I would come down and keep them both happy - and to protect John from buying TieDye tshirts. We got down there and it was a lovely day, so much so, I even wore shorts, tshirt and trainers, but stupidly didnt take any suntan lotion.

After bumping into Andy P at his stand to free some Shrew from a cave in Cornwall or something, we managed to get some Indian food (3 quid chef special, consisting of Pakora, etc) which was nice - and we sat in the sun, and listened to music on the stage. One of the dudes singing was class, so much so his lyrics made me laugh and my stomach hurt. "If I was a Taxi, I would drive you into town, If I was an alcoholic, I would be your bitch" and such like. Gav turned up and people started to get a little tearful that he was leaving to Africa to do "Chaarity work", but I give him helpful tips on how to survive - nibbling on your leg with your lips for example, if you get stuck in a rock fall, torturing your captured enermy, by nibbling on their legs with your lips etc.

After so much heat, that my eyes were melting, myself and Debbie decided to walk home - only via the pub for a swift drink of Carling - feeling light headed, we ventured to somerfield to get icecream.

I got back and washed my kitchen and bathroom floor, followed by washing the roof of John and Debbie's conservatory as it was getting on my nerves. I got so far, then John turned up, suggesting that we tape more than two ends of poles together - making it work - even in our heatstoke like minds - his worked - thus John and Debbie now have a clean conservatory roof.

Stefan's "Get Well" Plan

In a poor attempt to get fit, slimmer and healthier before my holiday, I have now engaged a 9 day get well plan - something most IBMers will be familiar with. The attempt is to do so much exercise, I can only get slimmer.

So far this week I have;

• Ran 2 miles on Monday and done some weights
• Ran 1 mile on Tuesday and done some more weights
• Played football on Wednesday for an hour - scoring 3 goals in a 3-3 draw in 5aside
• Took Thursday off due to muscle exhaustion * Warning - may have been a night out

Sadly, if I kept this up most of the year, I would have a) had my money's worth at the gym and b) be 3 stone lighter

For the plus side, I do feel better for it, bouncier and brighter - basically like the Stefan of Old and even had a comment made by a lovely lass saying this - mm

Where are you, Debbie?!?!?!

I dont know whats happened next door! Normally its loud, shouty and you can hear Debbie giggling her head off. However, the last week, I havent seen nor heard her. I can only assume that she's busy doing her exam marking before their holiday in a couple of weeks time, or she's been involved in some kind of crime - kidnapping, murder or locked in some kind of cellar.

If you know where Debbie's whereabouts are - please contact John and myself (unless John has her locked in the basement - then dont contact him)

I AM THE GOD OF ALL DALEKS

... No, not really - the power of suggestion.

After Saturdays fab episode of Doctor Who, the BBC are now teasing the nation with daily snippets of the final episode of the series. From Saturdays show, we saw Rose die, then later on, find out she had been teleported from the station to the Dalek space ship.

Here is Monday's trailer : Monday

From this, myself and John have narrowed it down to a Him, not being Rose, The TARDIS (an it), Rose's Mum - or Lynda (with a Y)

Just remember, WOR-SHIP HIM!! WOR-SHIP HIM!!!

Doctor Yay!

Certainly one of the best episodes of Doctor Who I've ever see. It had everything, action, comedy, hurt, love and most importantly, the return of the Daleks. I wasnt too sure with the reality tv theme at the start when I first saw the previous weeks trialer, but managed to move the story along quickly and link into the Game Station.

I opened a bottle of wine previously to the episode starting, I never touched a drop for the full 45 mins, thats how much on the edge of my seat I was.

Highlights to the show was the Doctor standing up to the Dalek's demands, then going on some rant about how he's going to save Rose, save the Earth, destroy the Daleks - without a plan - which "scares the Daleks to death" - Bit like an average day at work then really.

We're all going on a summer holiday

I dont mind clothes shopping for holidays, I hate getting the essentials - you know, Suntan lotion, bug killer, tablets etc. Takes most of the fun out of the shopping - and I love shopping - with a passion, so after 25 mins in Boots, hanging around the "suntan lotion" area - I just didnt know what to get. I know the basics, get a high one for a couple of days, then gradually go down in factors. (Yes, you know it - I'm aiming for a tan this year*)

Anyhooooo, a further 10 mins later, and 50 quid lighter, I walk away with the biggest bag of lotion, aftersun and other holiday essentials. I'm also a sucker for "new" or special editions of things - I am a Promotional Junkie to be fair (as he's drinking his Diet Coke with Lime) - So this year I'm armed with

• "NOW SPRAYS AT ALL ANGLES HYPOLALLERGENIC AFTERSUN",
• "NEW HAIR AND SCALP SUN PROTECTOR" and
• Calamine lotion (no, I dont know either).

Why is suntan lotion so expensive anyhow ? its cream - we all need it - so why does it cost so much ?

I bumped into Geordie Mike and his lass in the street, who asked "Why do you have pink hair?" - after palming the blame onto Debbie, I escaped into WH Smiths with a few of buying some books for holiday, but didnt - might have to chat to Rich about borrowing some of his fiction.

Couple of tshirts, books and mags - and we're wired for sound!

* Warning :- Tan maybe Eggshell White

Happy Friday On!

After my "power" sleep, I returned to my PC just incase anyone had tried to catch up with me - indeed, Debbie asked if I was interested in joining John and Debbie for a Curry somewhere in town. Part of me just wanted to go back to sleep and curl up in a ball, part of me thought if I do that, I'll be up at 2am not being able to sleep, and part of me thought it would be a really really good idea to get out and about. After Wednesday night's drunken take-away curry fest, I was interested in trying something different to the norm, but due to my brain stopping around Wednesday, I went on autopilot. Of course, I ended up having the usual, along with a pint of Cobra, which went down, in fact, probably woke me up a little.

We ended up in the Jug and Jester for a friday night bottle of wine between myself and Debbie, and John had a fantastic pint - we chatted, we chilled out and more importantly, we laughed and talked about Dr Who and the Big Wolf topic. Myself and John have been trying to dig around so much about it - guess its one of them things that if you look at something to closely, you cant see it, step back and its right there. But it wasnt right there - that was the annoying thing - but its fun trying to guess - and probably very sad to people who dont watch Doctor Who.

On return to John and Debbie's - we went via cost cutters to get a bottle of wine and we sat down to watch Big Brother eviction night. I had opened a bottle of wine the night before and also brought that around, John and Debbie also had a bottle in stock previous to the purchase, so we were well up on booze - thankfully. Big Brother was entertaining - loads of shouting, slagging off, hatred - basically like a Winlaton afternoon on pension day. We watched Johnny Vegas again, with the fab "celeb lockin" reality TV sketch - we managed to finish all 3 bottles of wine - and I needed sleep, so wobbled off home

Happy Friday Foo'

Walking between the Jug and Jester, and Costcutter - John noticed the below street art. There was also one of George Bush - but this made me laugh .... Sucker

"Aint getting on no god damn plane" - Mr T (pictured on a wall somewhere in Leam)

Happy Friday Off

I had today off, mainly due to the fact I could barely keep my eyes open most of the week and slowly getting more and more exhausted. Some of this is due to work, some of this has to do with burning the candle at both ends. I slept in til pretty late on - well around 10:45 ish - and spoke to Rich where he said they were thinking of having a couple of friday lunchtime beers. Not wanting to waste my day off, I was a little dubious, but still met up for some lunch and a quick Fosters. John O, Shammy Shamster Fursal and the lovely Vicky were all in place, just like the pic n' mix fitures at Woolworths.

Paid my Newcastle United PLC shares into the bank (13 quid - for an original investment of 400 quid - not bad when you consider other companies - Man Utd, some IT based companies - etc) and met up for another quiet one * in the Lounge. At this point I was getting a little dizzy, so decided to go home and pop back to bed for an hour or so.

"boss" meets Boss

I try not to talk about work on here, just on the off chance someone reports me to management and I get the sack, however this story is far amusing to be left off the Internet. Basically my boss decided to come to Warwick to talk about the work stack and career progression and we had a chinwag outside in the sun while he recieved a few phone calls. He was asked by one of the colleagues to go collect a couple of laptops from some dude in Warwick, and asked if I knew him, of course I didnt - so we set off wandering the corridors of the location looking for someone who might know. Anyhooo we end up around Rich and John's desk area, and still couldnt find this dude, so my boss asks if I knew anyone who might have access to our employee directory - so suggest Rich might.

[ ME ] - Rich, Can you do me a fav mate, look someone up on
bluepages
[ RICH ] - Do I look like your f*cking bluepages Bitch
[ ME ] - Rich, have you ever met my boss, Mike ?
[ RICH ] - Shit, eer whats the name again?
[ BOSS ] - Have you ever read the business conduct guidelines mister?
[ RICH ] - Err *BLUSHING*

Anyhow, guess you had to be there to find it amusing - Rich certainly was quiet at the pub at lunchtime.

Cutting It!!!

You may or may not know, but the BBC Drama Show, Cutting It returns to the screen on Tuesday (BBC2 9pm). I was also involved in some kind of hair dressing / styling sham on Saturday when Captain Rich called me up (we'd previously arranged to go for a sociable cup of tea in starbucks.)

After months of tempting the lad to getting a 21st century style hair do, he strangly phones me up, announcing that he's in Boots looking at the hair products and "what was that stuff you were recommending I put in my hair". After taking the mic for 2 mins and suggesting "Just for Men" I said I would come meet him, because the "Just got out of bed" style Gel is a little hard to find to the untrained eye. After humming and harring a little at the price, and finding my "getting my eyes back into white campaign" eye gel he agreed to pay the price and we went for a cuppa.

We arranged later to go out for a couple more sociable drinks, have a chin wag, when I notice he'd applied this Gel, but probably not in the correct manner. Now Rich was Slick Rick, and looking like something between a World War II American pilot and Barbie's boyfriend Ken.

Back to square one then

Is the end nigh ?

From an early age I loved Dr Who, maybe it was the tension, maybe it was the twists and turns - I had a Dr Who and TARDIS for one of my birthdays when I was a child - that's how much I enjoyed it. I've been awaiting the new series for eons and now its arrived, we've blinked and its nearly finished - with only two episodes left. A sneak preview of next weeks reality TV/return of the Dalek had me on edge - I don't care what anyone says, but I loved the battle between the Daleks and the Doctor - only one thing used to scare me more than the Daleks - and that was The Master.

I mentioned to anti-Who Rich at the start of the series that I was a little disappointed that it wasn't all one story - like in the olden days - where you had 8 episodes together, which made you sit down and watch it, but now I stand corrected. It appears that in all the episodes, there has been a link - "bad wolf" being one of them, all the way - even the website is scary! (Hit Ctrl-A on this link)

I so cant wait for next Saturday (probably only to be interrupted by work) - anyhow, myself and Captain John next door have been intrigued by the "teaser" - and came across a number of sites - claiming to decipher the meanings - including;

• Adam is in fact Davros (Dalek Leader)
• Adam is the creator of Davros and the Daleks
• The TARDIS is actually a weapon
• The numbers that have been used throughout the series are the phone number to vote The Doctor out of "Big Brother"

John came across the following link which may give more of an answer than anything. I've already read somewhere that The Doctor goes missing/"killed", leaving Rose to escape and navigate safely using the TARDIS. Lets pray that K9 pops up somewhere - so pleased I dont miss the very last episode due to holidays!

MSR - Diet Coke, On the Rocks

After Thursday nights episode of Stefan "Crazy Twitchy Eyes" Warburton, I had a decent night sleep and got up at a early to get on with work. To continue the theme of Happy Friday, John, Debbie and myself indulged in a little bit of Zizzi, which is the first time I've experienced such a pizza establishment and first impressions were that it was very friendly. The weather was a little strange all day, which only added to the heat of the open furnace making the place like a virtual BBQ. After a nice meal, friendly waitressing and general chit chat with the lovely neighbours, we walked over to Lounge for a quick drink. We parted our ways, John and Debbie going home to watch Big Brother and Johnny Vegas, and I meeting up with my "partner in crime" Captain Rich of Chesterfield.

Blunty (who wasn't there tonight) introduced me to a nice drink - Morgan Spiced Rum, with Coke (I changed it slightly to Diet Coke) - but its a nice little drink that you can sip all night - and not get drunk at all. Of course, after 3/4 of a bottle of wine, this theory was probably completely out of scope as the drunken night, got longer and I grinned a lot. Highlight of the night was Rich digging a hole by the second, for example:

[Girl] "I've been suspended from work"

*insert 20 mins*

[Rich] "HOW'S YOUR JOB GOING ???"

[Girl ] *CRIES*

I think somehow I've also annoyed / narked the lovely barmaid off as well, or perhaps its just a bad night, but didn't get the normal flirty bouncy chitchat that I normally get - but then again,, I was probably a jibbering mess in the corner thinking I was sober as anything.

I received two text messages, one from each of John and Debbie, giving me the answer to who got evicted from the Big Brother House. All I can say, is that I'm disappointed by one of them, no one likes lies, and we all know that baby Jesus cries when lies are told!

For some reason, even after a starter and main meal in Zizzi's, I still managed to end up with "The Well's after hours food parcel" consisting of Cheesy Chips.

Entered Coma at some point